RedBlue

The Sibling didn’t promise to bond Dabbid in as many words, but their behaviour towards him did imply that things were headed in that direction. If an unbonded spren starts talking to one specific person and asking him to run errands, it’s totally understandable if the human assumes there’s a bond coming. But I’m not sure that this qualifies as the Sibling taking advantage, because to do that, they would have to understand that Dabbid has assumed the Sibling intends to bond him. It’s not clear whether the Sibling understands people enough to know what’s going on. It could have been a genuine misunderstanding.

I don’t think this is a silly question. Odium has been set up as the main antagonist of book five, and possibly beyond that. The conflict needs to be resolved somehow. I don’t think it’s likely that Odium will be dealt with by combining it with another Shard, because we’ve already seen that happen with a Shard antagonist and having it happen again might feel repetitive. I also don’t think binding Odium with more contracts or trapping him in some other place is likely, at least as a long term solution, because I’m not sure there’s any version of that plan that doesn’t come off as stalling. It would end up feeling like it’s just a matter of time before Odium becomes a problem again. Odium being Splintered is a strong possibility, in my opinion. There would be consequences, since that would create lots of little Odium splinters which could be a problem in and of themselves, but the original conflict would be resolved and dealing with splinters sounds much more manageable than dealing with the Shard. Reforming a new Adonalsium out of all the Shards might be an option much later in the cosmere, but not during Stormlight. It involves too much cosmere stuff that’s beyond the scope of the story being told right now. Another option I think could happen is to replace Odium’s Vessel again, but this time with someone who will redirect the Shard so that it’s harmless to people. They wouldn’t be able to fundamentally change the nature of the Shard, but it might be possible to point it in directions that aren’t as destructive.

I would have to go with Harmony for best god, if only by process of elimination. Ruin and Odium are out for obvious reasons. Autonomy, Endowment, Honor and Cultivation are all out for being way too sketchy. Preservation is better, but in an ‘enemy of my enemy’ kind of way. Given his approval of the Lord Ruler, Preservation would probably have been an awful tyrant if Ruin hadn’t been in the picture. That leaves Harmony as the least terrible god in the cosmere. I do take massive issue with what he did during Era 2 and I don’t think I can trust Sazed’s judgement again unless something huge changes, but at least he has his people’s best interests at heart, and he values their freedom to live their own lives. That makes him better than the other Shards we currently know about.

Many of the surviving humans probably tried to wipe out the Parsh entirely, but failed due to logistical problems. Roshar’s a big place, and small groups of Parsh could be hiding anywhere. You’d never find them all, especially if you’re short on manpower. Later, when the Knights Radiant were established, the Radiants would be held to ethical standards that prevent them from going after the Parsh.

I would dispute this. Warbreaker is set during a particularly stable period on Nalthis. The backstory includes a long, devastating war and the creation of Nightblood, one of the most destructive things in the entire cosmere. And Endowment oversaw all of that, didn’t try to stop or mitigate the damage that we know of, despite the fact that she is constantly meddling in human affairs by choosing people to Return. I’m not sure what Edgli is up to, but the well-being of the people on her world is not a priority for her.

The two Cryptics we’ve spent time with so far are absolutely delightful, which is a big point in the Lightweavers’ favour. The really cool thing is that there are no bad options here. Every order has something interesting and compelling about it.

I think the books so far have been deliberately vague about what, specifically, the Oathpact entails. It appears to make the Fused be trapped on Braize as long as at least one Herald goes to Braize with them, and as long as no Herald agrees to let the Fused return. The bit about the Heralds going back to Braize after each Desolation seems to have been informally agreed upon, not part of the official, magically binding Oathpact. I’m not at all clear on how an agreement between (presumably) Honor and the Heralds could restrict the Fused, so this will probably come up in a future book.

Hi! As I read: p1: This is a nit-pick, but I think describing someone's handwriting as having 'a surgeon's precision' gives the wrong impression, as doctors are infamous for having messy handwriting (that's the stereotype, anyway) p1: I don't think it's necessary for W to restate how she feels about N (likes him, maybe wants more in the future, needs to take it slow for now). I feel like I've read her say this a bunch of times already and I'm only reading a chapter a week p2: My immediate reaction on hearing that B wants to meet N is 'oh no, I hope she's not going to mess with him or do anything mean to him'. But it seems like N is more worried that W will get the wrong idea. I don't think this is a concern that W has - I think she's also worried that B might say or do something horrible to N - but she doesn't actually voice any of that, so I'm not sure. I do like that we get confirmation that N was dating B because he felt sorry for her, though. And that W spots the pattern in his behaviour. p4-5: The kids refer to the boys who beat up N in the abstract, but given that these people all presumably know each other, it would feel more natural if at least some of the boys were mentioned by name. It feels weird that B and A in particular wouldn't be specific. p7: We've established that N is hurt but not too seriously, which is good. But isn't W going to ask where he is now, and when she can see him? p8: Sounds like A has learned her lesson about popularity games. Hooray for that! p9: W is being very patient and understanding with B, which seems odd for W. She's usually much quicker to pop off at people than to withhold judgement, especially when someone is acting as sketchy and paranoid as B. p13: I have questions about why N is at E's house. Wouldn't the school phone his parents and ask them to pick him up? Maybe I'm the weird one, but my school would definitely not have just let an injured student go to a friend's house during school hours without getting parents involved. That would have involved all sorts of potential legal exposure if something happened to the kids. Good chapter. N getting beat up was a bolt from the blue, but I'm interested to see how it shakes out. 1. It feels like the first one and a half pages are preamble you don't need. The chapter really gets going when N tells W that B wants to meet up. After that, things get good and I'm on board. 2. I like B's characterisation a lot through this whole chapter. I think she's a really interesting and unique take on the 'popular girl' trope, and it's fascinating how much contempt she has for the thing she spends her life doing. She seems to think that she's going to work her way up the social pyramid by playing dirty, and once she's amassed enough power, she'll use it to ... save the world from the patriarchy or something? I don't know what evil villains B is fighting against, and I don't know if they really exist (in the setting) or if she's just delusional, but it's really fun to read about. I think B definitely has potential to be in the spotlight more, but there's an important balance to be struck there. A big part of her character's appeal is that we don't really know what she's up to, and we don't know what she means by the overly dramatic hints she drops. If we see more of her, but she still spends the whole time being mysterious and doing the same routine, that could get old quickly. If you want to lean into B's character more, I suggest you show some of her social machinations up close. Right now, B's 'onscreen' appearances have all been her being uncharacteristically honest and straightforward with W, and the rest of B's persona is stuff we're informed about by W's narration. That's okay for a minor character, but if you do more with her, I think showing what B is like most of the time would be a good idea. On another note: I can tell you're leaning more into W's neurodiversity in this chapter. She reads to me much more strongly as having Asperger's than she did before.

Real life DID is caused by early childhood trauma, but Shallan is in a bit of a different situation because of the magic system. I think it’s notable that Shallan’s alters only started to appear when she started using Lightweaving to appear to be other people. It’s still possible that she was traumatised in early childhood, of course, I just don’t think it’s necessary that she was.

If you’re looking for people to give you more serious critiques, I suggest checking out the Reading Excuses forum on this site. There’s a few of us who share our original work and give each other feedback. I have found it very helpful

As I read: p3 - I like that N and W are talking things out and moving past W's freak-out. I notice that W hasn't really had a 'fairies are actually real???' moment, or asked N any obvious follow-up questions. Like, why is a fairy going to a human school? Is the fairies' existence a big secret? What will happen if people find out? It feels almost like fairies are common knowledge in this setting, and W already knows the basics, but the reader hasn't been clued in. p6 - The red flags in E and B's relationship have been steadily accumulating. At this point, their entire relationship is basically one great big red flag. p10 - W's 'maybe we should just stay friends, but I like him too much, oh no' shtick is getting a little old. It feels like she's been going backward and forward on that point for ages. I think, to keep from being repetitive, either W needs to move on from this or there needs to be a new evolution of it. p14 - N getting snarky with the 'I had no idea line' is funny. (I'm assuming this doesn't count as a lie as it's not intended to be deceptive.) 1. There wasn't anything in the chapter that I found boring or confusing, but it did jump rapidly between different plot threads and tones. We had W's reaction to the N fairy reveal, we had a continuation of the D&D fun, we had an update on E's situation, and an update on the mom's health situation. That's a lot of different threads the story is bouncing around, and packing it all into this one chapter makes the chapter feel a bit scattered. 2. I like the reveal of E's sexuality, and I continue to be intrigued by the B subplot. N is adorable, and I like that we're getting hints that he has some deep insecurity issues hidden. As I said in the LBLs, it feels like W's indecisiveness about being in a relationship is dragging on too long at this point. 3. I don't think you need to worry about this being a detour from the main plot. E and his plot threads might not be A-plot, but B-plot is important too.

Nale. When he first appeared as Darkness in WoR, I wasn’t on board. He came across as flat, almost cartoonishly evil, and I found the whole ‘Darkness’ aesthetic corny. After we found out more about him as the story went on, I got very interested. The fact that he used to be genuinely heroic, and has wound up like he is now by trying to do the right thing while having warped judgement, has me very excited to see where he goes from here.

Hi everyone, Thanks for all the feedback! This is the epilogue, and the end of the story. Usual questions for the chapter: 1) Any boring or confusing bits? 2) Do the characters’ thoughts and actions make sense? Also, thoughts on the story as a whole? I know I have some restructuring to do, especially in act one, to make the plot have more of a driving force so that it doesn’t feel like the characters are floating through a bunch of random events. I’m also planning on introducing the mayor as a villain sooner, and expand on V’s character and smooth out GM’s transition from antagonist to supporting C. Is there anything else you think really needs attention? Anything you enjoyed that you think I should definitely keep or expand on? Thank you very much!

I would like a spot too, please

The problem I have with the ‘Shallan killed her secretly-a-Herald mother and triggered the end of the world’ theory is that it undermines Venli’s arc. Venli’s whole story is her dealing with the fact that she accidentally made the Return happen. And it is actually her fault, since she was old enough and smart enough to know better, which I find more interesting than Shallan lashing out in a moment of panic as a small child.

Hi! As I read: p1-2: I like this reaction from W. I think it's very reasonable for where she's at. p3: It hasn't been addressed whether W is considering telling someone, or whether it would cause problems for N if she did tell someone. I can think of good reasons why W wouldn't tell, (nobody would believe her, she doesn't want to betray N), but I would like to hear W explain what she thinks. p4: I'm unclear on whether or not E knows N's secret, or if he just knows that there is a secret. I would have assumed he didn't know, because it makes very little sense for N to tell him, but his comments are making me unsure. p5: Never mind, he knows p6: I feel that W has some very legitimate cause for concern, and that E is being very dismissive of it. And both of them are weirdly chill with the idea that fairies exist in the first place, focusing only on the fact that N is one. In general, I like that we're getting into the meat of the fairy situation. It's a bit frustrating that the initial conversation between N and W is cut short so that W can go talk to E about it instead, but that might be more down to the weekly reading schedule making it feel slow. I like E's reaction to the situation - asking N blunt questions - and I can't help but think that would be a cool conversation to have happen on-screen, so to speak. Either if W was the one asking those questions, or if she was privy to the conversation between E and N. Looking forward to W and N actually hashing this out between them! 1. I think I covered this in LBLs. 2. I like N, I think he's sweet and this reaction to being rejected feels very in-character for him. I also think W's reaction makes sense and I find it sympathetic (although I do wonder why finding out that fairies exist isn't a bigger deal for her. Is magic just accepted as a real thing in this world?) E comes across to me as being very trusting. I mean ... his idea of asking N blunt questions about his plans is good, but it does rest on the assumption that N is telling the truth about being completely unable to lie, which he might not be, for all E knows. 3. I don't think this needs to be a hard magic system, and hand-waving things with 'N doesn't know' will work as long as those things aren't crucial to the plot. I think the problem we've had until now where it feels like too much information is being withheld could be fixed by feeding more concrete information about N and his fairy community in the earlier chapters (for example, what happens when N tries to lie, what happens when he's exposed to iron) and having characters like W ask the obvious questions, even if it still takes a while to come to the point where he's definitely, absolutely a fairy. 4. If you decide to lean into W's neurodivergence, I think the ADHD route might be the most interesting one for me. Her social awkwardness reads more like normal-ish teenage awkwardness than autism to me, while her oversensitivity seems like it might have more to unpack.

Hi everyone, Thanks for all your feedback so far! I thought that GM’s pivot away from burning everything might be too abrupt. Essentially, she’s realised that her behaviour was self-destructive and that she doesn’t actually want to do that. I’ll work on finding a way to make it more organic. Chapter 23 this week, and next time, the epilogue! Usual questions: 1) Any boring or confusing bits? 2) Do the characters’ thoughts and actions make sense?

I’ll have a slot for tomorrow, please.

If you’re enjoying The Way Of Kings, I recommend continuing with the Stormlight Archive (next books in order: Words of Radiance, Edgedancer, Oathbringer, Dawnshard, Rhythm of War.) Edgedancer and Dawnshard are novellas that are technically optional to the main story, but very much worth reading IMO. After that, the main attractions in the cosmere are Warbreaker and Mistborn. Warbreaker is a stand-alone that ties into the Stormlight Archive. Mistborn is a longer series that starts with The Final Empire.

Hi! As I read: First three pages are a little slow. W feeling miserable and N being supportive has been covered pretty thoroughly these last few chapters, so trimming the build-up to get to the plot faster would probably be a good idea. p4 - the shirt comment feels out of the blue from W. I think this is the first time I've noticed her expressing physical attraction to N, so having her blurt it out rather than just think it feels very sudden. p5 - A wild plot has appeared! p6 - Well, that was extremely sinister. I dig it p7 - So B was dating the kid whose family was being investigated by her cop dad? That seems ... incredibly shady. The plot thickens. p8 - N's comments about reading J's emotions heavily imply that he's using magic to read the emotions. It seems odd that W doesn't have more questions about N's abilities, especially after the things N just said about magic in his community. It also seems odd that W doesn't ask whether N is in trouble at any point - that would be the obvious thing to do if your boyfriend has a strange and sinister conversation with a creepy police officer. p13 - 'I lie down and rest my head on top of his chest' p15 - This explains why these particular flowers are only found growing in this one area! 1. The best bits of this chapter were the intrigue with J, W and N progressing their relationship, and the reveal with the flowers at the end. Everything in between those bits felt like it could be cut or trimmed - W's angst at the beginning, W and N chatting about stuff that's not important, the food. Especially as this comes right after the D&D chapter, which was all just characters hanging out having a good time, I think this chapter needs to focus more on the new stuff that's happening. 2. My only new thought about W and N is that I think W leaves it too late to start asking questions more seriously. It's clear that something super weird is going on in the scene with J, and given how N is prone to occasionally making odd comments about iron and being an 'empath', I felt frustrated with W for letting it drop so easily. Not sure what's going on with J, but clearly he's a bad dude. I'm kind of wondering whether he had something to do with why B was dating N in the first place. 3. What (I think) I know now: N comes from a community living in the woods where the people are mostly fairies. He has one fairy parent, and one human parent, who died. N has some magical qualities himself, including being able to read people's emotions and creating (?) love-powered flowers. He can't lie, and iron causes problems for him. E's evil CEO grandfather, and probably also B's dad J, are trying to research the fairies to exploit their magic. I think we could find out more about N's magical abilities/limitations earlier. These are the most obvious hints dropped, and you could introduce them a lot sooner. It would feel natural for W to pursue odd things, like the iron comments, the fairy comments, the inability to lie, the supernatural emotion-reading skills. I'm not suggesting you have N straight-up explain what his deal is, because that would be boring, but you could have W notice clues and work things out, maybe experiment a little (what happens if she touches iron to the magic flower?) before confirming it with N. That would tie the magic plot in with their relationship. I feel okay not knowing exactly what the bad guys want with the fairies, since that feels like something we'll find out more of. I'm also okay with not knowing what the fairy community as a whole is up to, yet. Since the early part of the story is about W and N, I'm most interested in finding out what N's magic situation is. 4. I actually liked the awkwardness of the romance. It's something that gets glossed over in a lot of stories, so taking the time to unpack it is interesting. The only issue I had was that W's physical attraction to N felt like it came on suddenly, but that might just be me.

Hi everyone, Thanks for your feedback last week. I’ll have a look at tweaking the logistics so that GM’s situation feels a bit more natural, and to make her motives super clear (she’s essentially lashing out at the unfairness of her life, but has given up on making things better for herself, so she’s settled for causing as much destruction as possible). After this chapter, there are only two more to go! Usual questions, plus bonus: 1) Any boring or confusing bits? 2) Do the characters’ thoughts and actions make sense? 3) Do any of the characters’ solutions for problems feel deus-ex-machina?

I would like a spot for tomorrow too

That’s a very good (and difficult) question. In the context of something like the Cosmere, I think it’s pretty straightforward. If something has thoughts, feelings and self-awareness at least somewhat similar to a human, then I consider it sentient. If it can have a POV that reads coherently then it’s sentient. In something like Perdido Street Station that’s playing with ideas of what sentience means, I pretty much follow the author’s lead and try to engage with the characters/animals/objects in the way the text wants me to. In real life, I don’t have to think about it much for obvious reasons. If it’s a person, it’s sentient. If presented with an unclear case in real life, I would confess my ignorance, to be honest. If I can’t figure out what it is or how it works, I don’t know if it’s sentient or not. What do you think?

In the real world, AI is not sentient. We don’t know how sentience works nearly well enough to copy it, and if we did, we have no reason to build a sentient AI beyond proving that we can. In sci-fi, on the other hand, futuristic AI is sentient more often than not. (Sorry if this is super obvious. I thought it was an important point to clarify for the discussion.) I’m interested in why you were surprised that someone placed the same moral value on a fantasy talking sword as a human character? I’ve always assumed that other readers saw fantasy talking swords, aliens, AI, magical creatures etc as having personhood and value just as much as the human characters. Maybe I’m wrong and I’m the weird one?

This is an interesting aspect of the OP’s argument that the thread hasn’t really talked about yet. I think we should be suspicious of Honor and Cultivation’s motives. From what little we know of them, Honor doesn’t understand basic things about humans and doesn’t care about individual lives. Cultivation is manipulative and unpredictable. Whatever Honor was doing, whatever Cultivation is still doing, we have no reason to trust them or assume that they have the humans’ best interests at heart. Having said that, I still don’t see any ethical issue with the Radiant bond. The possibility for spren to become deadeyes is an issue, but that’s presented as a fixable problem, not something inherent to the Nahel bond. Normally, when deadeyes aren’t a thing, anyone who wants to can break the bond with no consequences except the former Radiant losing their magical abilities and the spren taking a nap. Also, the only character we see involved with a Radiant bond who isn’t fully on board with what it entails is the Stormfather, and he’s kind of an edge case.