DramaQueen
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Okay so. I have two options.
1: live in my college town for the summer, it would be $775 plus utilities (about $25/month) for the full summer. I'd have to pay for my own gas and buy my own food. I would continue working my current job, which doesn't have very regular hours, but it pays pretty well. I would also want to get a more regular job, maybe at a thrift store or a coffee/drink shop or a cute little local restaurant. I would be near a lot of my college friends, so I could do things with them and continue wearing my less "modest" outfits and going by a more gender-neutral nickname sometimes and using multiple pronoun sets and just in general continue figuring myself out in that way.
2: move back in with my parents. Free housing, free food, they'd probably even pay for my gas, I'd already have a regular, well-paying job that I mostly enjoy lined up, and I could try out for a production of Aida that would also pay. But I would either have to act like the version of me that my parents knew from when I was in high school, or let them meet this version of me when I'm not even sure I like this version of me and I'm actively trying new things to figure myself out. I know everyone is always a "rough draft" of themselves, but my current draft feels especially rough, and I don't feel ready for my parents to see it. There have already been times just over phone calls where it's felt like my parents and I are on the brink of a breaking point regarding my identity, and if I live with them over the summer it'll be even more difficult.
However, my program is also next year incorporating travel opportunities, so next year I could travel with a faculty mentor to New York, and the following year to London. I would, however, have to pay my own way. So, saving money by going home would be really helpful for that. But is it worth it if I would be living a lie all summer??
Oh and I need to decide by Tuesday, because the girl whose lease I'd be buying if I stay needs to know by then.
Any input/advice is welcome, lmk if you have any questions lol
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if you're struggling financially, I'd recommend moving back in with your parents
I don't know you or your parents personally, so I'm not sure how they'd react, but hopefully they would understand that you're in a rough state, and everyone changes over time
and, to my knowledge, you were away for college and that's a long time to change, y'know? hopefully they'd understand
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Clarifying question: You need to decide by tomorrow-Tuesday?
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