Soulbinder

Granted. However, you now look like Yoda.

I wish for the ability to see ultraviolet light with my normal eyes.

Shabby

Here's the other half.

I have a zombie cat named Fred.

I return riding a Roomba and wielding a giant baguette. I whack TwinSouls with the baguette and ride away on my Roomba with the sandwich, cackling in triumph.

2 minutes ago, TwinSouls said:

So… I get to glow?

I don't see why not.

3 minutes ago, TwinSouls said:

I wish for Lightbulbs that can change color.

Granted. They change colors in the radio part of the spectrum, and therefore is indistinguishable as actually changing color to the human eyes. 

I wish for roller skates.

Just now, TwinSouls said:

Granted. Your cat (if you don’t have one, you now have one) eats it.

At least I got a cat out of that. Excuse me while I take my new cat to the vet.

1 minute ago, TwinSouls said:

I wish to be invisible at convenient moments.

Granted. You're highly visible at inconvenient moments, however.

I wish for a name for my wished-into-existence cat.

Unfortunately, you don't have the pull to hire a Pole to show Glass the poll, so instead of having a distraction to steal the sandwich your parachuting and wordplay becomes the distraction I need to steal the sandwich.

Tangled

Granted. You now have two ears of corn. Also, your nose is upside down.

I wish for a ball of yarn.

Firm

Granted. However, your grammar skills are significantly worse now.

I wish for a pair of Warrior's Lenses.

Difficult

In the sunset they meet the Gi-Ants from the Picnic Planet, who beam the sandwich up to their spaceship.

Uneven

Here's a rocket-propelled penguin.

I have a book by Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Unbalanced

Granted. The earth is taken over by hostile aliens who enslave the human race. School is no more, but at what cost?

I wish for a chinchilla friend.

2 minutes ago, Aeternum said:

I don't have any Shardbuddies 

I don't have any Shardbuddies either, how does one get one?

I think I have, a while ago? Probably not professional, but I think one of my siblings played ice hockey for like a year?

TPBM knows how someone becomes Shardbuddies with other people

Sad

Unclear

Bard's pretty fun! I also like being a sorcerer.

What's your favorite Sanderson quote?

Granted. Your bane is that Moash gets a redemption arc in it and the whole fandom knows it's because of you. Enjoy! >:)

I wish for a quality adaptation of Mistborn into an animated series to be made.

7 hours ago, Faerie Braids said:

What is your favourite kind of bird?

Personally my favorite bird is the Free Bird guitar solo. 

I activate my jetpack, keeping a tight hold on the sandwich.

15 minutes ago, NerdyAarakocra said:

I also like your signature. Carthage must be destroyed!

Indeed!