The Awakened Salad

"They're..." Ana began. "They usually hang around an abandoned building near the house." She grimaced. House made it seem like she was rich, like they lived in some expansive mansion with a billion rooms, each filled with a suffocating luxury. "Not that it's much..." she added. "No, you can come. If you want to," Ana said, grateful that Ophelia had offered. Going alone with the sailor would have terrified her. She didn't even know if he was trustworthy. "But..." she glanced back at the street vendor who had served her. He had told her to go straight back to him after delivering the food. "I promised the street vendor I'd come back and help him straight away after giving you food. I don't think he'd be very happy if I just left now." He was scary, she added in her head. "How about..." she looked around. "I should be done by afternoon. The lunch rush will be over then. We could all meet by that statue over there." She pointed to one of the D'Denir statues, this one raising its hard to the sky, as if trying to reach out and grab the sun. "By the way," she said to the sailor, before she forgot again. "What's your name?"

yes

All right, let’s do this. Your cat is granted immortality. All of your above conditions have been met. Your cat stays by your side for your entire life. And then for your entire children’s’ lives. And their children’s’ lives. And their children’s’ children’s’ lives. (Now children just looks like a made-up word to me). This cat becomes a sort of urban legend — it was an ordinary cat, it just wouldn’t die. Eventually, people get curious. They want to do experiments, figure out the source of its immortality. Others fight back. Say it’s unethical, that no animal, no creature, should be experimented on like that. This cat becomes the subject of media attention. Memes abound about the cat. It becomes something bigger than itself. No longer just a cat, but a symbol. Of the unknown, of the mysterious things in our world that we cannot explain. By this point, the cat has been alive for centuries. It can barely remember its original owner. It can’t feel pain, but... it doesn’t know what happiness is either. It doesn’t know how long it can keep going, simply existing. Wandering through time like a ghost. Eventually, trillions of trillions of years later, the world ends. How, you ask? That’s a secret. But the cat is there. The cat drifts in space, watching as the Earth is reduced to dust, wondering what will happen next. Over thousands, millions of years, the car floats around in space. It watches a new planet form, and somehow gets pulled back into it. It watches as mountains rise, forests grow. As rivers carve their paths down hillsides and across valleys. As other animals come to populate this new planet, they sense there is something different about the cat. They treat it with reverence, understanding that the cat is wiser and more experienced than they will ever be. And so the cat is fated to walk forevermore, to the ends of the universe and back. When you look into its eyes, you can see entire universes inside of them. Those old, immortal eyes. What have they seen? What wonders of the past has this cat experienced? What knowledge does it have, that is lost to the world? Only the cat knows, and only the cat will ever know. Your bane? Oh, it was that you can never put shoes on the right way ever again. You always have to put the left shoe on your right foot, and the right shoe on your left foot. No exceptions. I wish for some pancakes.

I’ve finally found an excuse to gush about some non-Brandon books and authors that I love!! V.E. Schwab (she also goes by Victoria Schwab for her YA books) is great for more non-traditional fantasy (like, less swords and dragons and more modern day stuff. Her more urban fantasyish books take place in fictional worlds, too, though). Her most popular works are Vicious and A Darker Shade of Magic. Vicious is, in my opinion, the better novel, but I don’t know if it’s too violent for a high school class (there’s also swearing, so I don’t know if that’d be acceptable either. Maybe if it’s an older class? But it’s amazing and you should read it anyway). Her writing, although not necessarily poetic, is captivating and she knows how to keep you hooked. She’s written books ranging from middle grade to adult, and she’s a very recent author. Katherine Arden is great — she wrote the Winternight Trilogy, which is set in a fantasy version of Medieval Russia. The story is so atmospheric, and the setting is almost alive, in a sense. The characters are great too, each with strong driving goals and personalities. The first book in the series, The Bear and the Nightingale, is one of my favourites. Madeline Miller, who’s written Circe and The Song of Achilles. I’ve only read Circe, which is about, well, Circe from Greek Mythology. It’s a slow book, without a central plot, but it’s still an entertaining read and I highly recommend it. Mark Lawrence, maybe? I only say maybe because I’ve heard his novels can get pretty graphic. I’ve only read the first two books in his Book of the Ancestor Trilogy, and they were good (still very violent), so I would recommend looking into them.

Granted. But it's permanently coated in un-removable slippery oil, so it always slips out of your hands when you grab it. Try not to let it fall onto one of your feet. I wish for a paperclip.

I choose to believe Mraize was wearing these pink chicken slippers at the time. Honestly, this is the funniest thing I've read all day, I can't believe I didn't notice this. Of course, Mraize has slippers for all occasions. Hunting slippers, sleeping slippers, sneaky slippers. Slippers he wears under other shoes because who can't resist their fluffiness? The list goes on.

Ana smiled as Ophelia feasted on her meal. She knew that feeling all too well -- the feeling of a hot meal after days of eating nothing but foraged scraps. She fought back a grimace, remembering her own empty stomach, and the empty shelves at home. Charity was all well and good, when you had things to spare. And Ana had nothing to spare. Idiot, she told herself. You're not much better off than her! What are you trying to prove, being generous like this? No one cares, no one's ever cared . . . If they cared they wouldn't have forgotten . . . She bit the inside of her cheek, pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind. Embarrassed, she looked up to the sky, averting her eyes from Ophelia. It was a dull blue, the colour of puddles on cloudy days. It could never be described as beautiful. Ophelia had already finished her meal, and was looking around, embarrassed. Ana offered the remaining skewer to the sailor again. @I think I am here.

I've never heard this song before and now I'm really tempted to Google it but also really scared.

*Wins by eating the Tenth Pancake*

The truth is, I won.

*gasps* How could you??

Storms, oh well. It was great while it lasted (even if it was only a day).

When this one time you ate gold, you tried to burn it on the slim chance you were a misting.

*Wins while everyone is distracted by the competition*

I’m an awakened object! Finally, it matches with my username!

When you and your friend are talking about red giants, and how weird it would look if the sun turned red, and the first thing you say is "Oh! So then the world will look like it does in Mistborn!"

For some reason I find the image of a Pikachu just sitting there on Dalinar's shoulder Ash Ketchum style hilarious . Like Dalinar's this imposing, dignified King, and there's just this Pikachu sitting on his shoulder looking cute. If we're not going for the cute angle, I think Thundurus would work. It's basically the Pokemon version of the Stormfather.

*Wins by being omnipresent*

You're welcome, @Lunu’anaki! You truly do deserve to win this thread . Except that now this is the last post, so I have won! Mwahahahaha!

Just for fun, if the cosmere characters suddenly got teleported into the Pokemon world, what would their teams look like? Based on their personality and fighting (or avoiding-fights) style. Vin: Sneasel: They're fast and sneaky, and are known to be thieves Lycanroc (Midday): Because TenSoon wasn't available (he's out on his own Pokemon adventure), and she needed another dog companion. Medicham: It's a cool fighting Pokemon Mawile Misdreavus Salazzle I don't really have much reasoning for the last three, I just got the feeling they'd be the type of Pokemon Vin would catch. Shallan: Swadloon: It wraps itself up in a cocoon and only comes out of its cocoon with high friendship. Smeargle: It's literally called the Painter Pokemon Cubone: A Pokemon that is burdened by the loss of its mother Yamask: Fits with the theme of hiding behind a mask Zoroark: Its ability is to create illusions as a disguise. Sounds like a certain Lightweaver we know. Crobat: I didn't really know what to put in the last slot, so I just picked Crobat So what do you think? What would your favorite character's team look like?

Fixed it for you.

Can I add another theory? (I don't really believe this one, but it's fun to think about) Devotion/Aona faked her own death and is actually the true big bad of the cosmere. Odium? Just another minion. Autonomy? A distraction. Aona is waiting. Hiding in the shadows until her time comes. She went to Sel with Dominion, despite his protests, knowing that Rayse would come after him sooner or later. After Odium killed Skai, she made a deal with him. She would let him continue on his path of killing all of the other shards -- tricking him into doing her dirty work -- and in exchange he would help her fake her death by pretending to kill her. The seons? A decoy. She convinced Ati and Leras to settle on a planet together, planning that Ati would kill Leras due to their opposing Intents, and then it'd be easy for Rayse to take out Leras. Harmony was unexpected, but he's inexperienced and is restricted anyway. While Odium was busy hunting shards, she reached out to Bavadin. Somehow, she convinces Bavadin to help her, and Bavadin begins doing... whatever Bavadin is doing. Edgli isn't seen as a threat right now; she seems happy enough on Nalthis, but Aona knows to be careful. It's a shame that Rayse got caught up in the Rosharan system, but she has plans in case Cultivation outsmarts him. And the other shards... who knows? The only other person she has to worry about is Hoid. And it's easy to avoid him, because he's so preoccupied with Rayse. Odium Devotion reigns. Most powerful of the sixteen. Obviously, we have hard evidence Aona is dead, but imagine the plot twist!

*Wins with the power of this irresistibly cute kitten* (Sorry if the image is too big. I'll remove it if it is.)

This thread is amazing . Well, now we know what the first gem is. According to the AI, anyway. Who is Shallan's mother, you ask? Why it's Mraize! Cosmere/Malazan/Lies of Locke Lamora/Riyria crossover confirmed?? Some non-cosmere ones: Who knew coconuts could be so violent?