Hoiditthroughthegrapevine

That's a great song, thanks for sharing! Here's a fun one, R Crumb and his Cheap Suit Seranaders, I'll See You in My Dreams. It's good a great tuba beat, whistling that sounds like a theramin made by a saw being played with a fiddle bow, and it has one of the most talented cartoonists of all times on mandolin, R. Crumb.

Nice keteks @Beni-Kujaku! Welcome to the Shard too!

Blood and bloody ashes @BreezeCauthon that was soothing! Hahaha, brilliant. I think Simon and Garfunkel said it best "I'd rather be hammered than be Nale" after that zinger.

Aww, thanks! Granted. Unfortunately the only way the Nightwatcher could grant you this boon is by breaking the linkages between all causes and all effects. You now can sleep in the morning for as long as you want without the negative consequences that you would have previously expected, but simple things that you used to do with predictable results now behave erratically and appear to be completely random. Like if you throw a ball in the air, instead of the ball coming back down (like the effect you would expect) it might instead turn into a dolphin. Or when you brush your teeth, instead of having clean pearly whites when you are finished you might sometimes have fingers where your teeth used to be. Or if you save your money in the bank, instead of accruing interest on your savings it might cause you to start yodeling uncontrolably. Here's the silver lining bit, the chain of causation is broken for only you, and like Gak, you start a YouTube channel where your subscribers send in suggestions for what they want you to attempt, and you post videos of the surprising results. Your channel is so popular that needless to say you can barely control your yodeling. I wish for a brown paper bag that looks just like a normal lunch bag, but when it is opened I can speak from it so that it sounds like my voice is coming from inside the bag.

Ralph Lister's Karsa sounds a bit like the Lennie type character in Looney Tunes, the "Tell me about the rabbits George" one. Totally not right for Karsa. Michael Paige's Karsa is beyond perfect, especially how he draws out the word "Witness". It is interesting seeing what a horrible and seemingly irredeemable character Karsa started out as, he feels a bit like Howard's idealized Barbarian but devoid of Conan's devil may care affability. He does describe the arc of Howard's barbarian though, with his goal of toppling all of civilization. Talking about House of Chains is getting me excited for The God Is No Willing!

Granted! Anytime you want to read any book, you simply form a mental command "I want to read ________" (insert name of book in the blank) and a leather-bound, tastefully designed, handsomely illustrated hard cover collectible edition of that book appears in your hand, even if the book you wish to read has yet to be written. Due to the fact that your boon is two pronged, your bane is likewise two part. The first part of your bane is that your eyeballs are rotated 180 degrees, and you can only see with great effort by turning your eyes and looking at things with your peripheral vision. The second and far more insidious part of your bane is that if the book you wish to read hasn't been written yet, then it is written by an AI codenamed Mission Ragged Xanth (MRX) that was programmed through machine learning by being fed the collected works of Horatio Alger, Piers Anthony and L. Ron Hubbard. All books written by MRX that are a continuation of a series unfortunately become Canon. Inevitably books written by MRX have a down and out orphan helped onto the path of moral rectitude by a kindly man of the world, an extremely annoying side character that has cringe inducing dialog, and conflicts that are largely solved by the skillful application of Dianetics. (I know Gak beat me to the punch, but I fell asleep last night before I could post it, and MRX is pretty sweet) Granted. Every movement you make, and every interaction with matter that you perform is accompanied by an overly loud sound effect, as if you are in a cartoon. Simple arm movements are accompanied by exaggerated whooshing noises, when you catch something it's always accompanied by a dramatic clapboard snapping sound, and the lightest brush against your nose produces a loud noise like the honk from a bulb horn. Every time you sit down it sounds like you sat on a Whoopi cushion. Everytime you raise your eyebrows in surprise the loud sound of a synchronized slide whistle can be heard. If you get even a little bit angry the air is split by the piercing sound of a whistling tea kettle. Every door you open has noisome creaking hinges. Every floorboard invariably creaks when you walk upon it. The simple act of eating is a symphony of over done sound effects of mastication, swallowing, slurping and burping. But there is in fact a silver lining, you capatilize on your bane by setting up a YouTube channel where subscribers send in requests to have you perform a variety of tasks to see what cartoon sound effect will accompany the requested actions, like throw a peanut butter and jelly sandwich at a wall, or pet your cat with fingerless gloves, or bounce a ball off a bowl of Jello, etc. Needless to say you soon have the 3rd most popular channel on YouTube and are soon making whatever cartoon sound effect accompanies rolling around in mountains of internet cash. I wish I had a pancake machine that with the push of a button would produce delicious pancakes. This is a real thing, they had one at the Continental breakfast at the Hotel I stayed at last weekend. Here's a picture Nightwatcher, so you know what I'm talking about. I further wish that I could print images on the golden browned surfaces of the pancakes it produces, kind of like it's a pancake printer.

You are correct sir, haha You're turn Dannex!

OK, here's another one

@Shard of Reading, that was super close, the first part was right... Yep, that's it, nice work! Your turn Chasmgoat.

Nice @Dannex! OK, I've got one. THE THE

Hahaha, I opened up this topic to post just this! I agree with you, my two favorite endings in fantasy are the endings of Toll of the Hounds (which is my favorite Malazan book) and the Crippled God. The idea of convergence, where power draws power, is such a perfect setup for epic finales and just plain great storytelling. Sanderson's ability to consistently deliver great endings is one of the main reasons I love his books. I was so impressed with how he did the seemingly impossible job of tying up all of the loose ends for the Wheel of Time while still keeping the story moving that I had to check out more of his books. Robin McKinley's Damar books, The Hero and the Crown and The Blue Sword, have great endings and have a very unique atmosphere as well. The endings on these contain no clever twists or shocking revelations, but they are solidly built up and satisfyingly resolved. The atmosphere in The Blue Sword is better, but the ending of The Hero and the Crown is better. I would highly recommend both. For books of a more literary bent, I think Haruki Murakami writes incredibly compelling endings. The Wind Up Bird Chronicle, Hard Boiled Wonderland/End of the World and Kafka by the Shore all have great endings though they are less definite than Sanderson's or Erickson's but just as satisfying in their own way. One of my favorite endings of all times is in the Manga Pluto by Naoki Urusawa (a drastically altered retelling of Ozama Tezuka's "The Greatest Robot on Earth" Astroboy story). And the artwork is beyond amazing, truly one of the finest comics ever made, and the ending is a 20 out of 10.

You're super close, the first word is wrong though...

Yep, that's Gritty, the scariest mascot the world's ever known. The first picture isn't slow-ing... It's something else + ING. One final hint, the actor has a name.

Hahaha, I know, right? That's the mascot for the Philadelphia Flyers, do a quick internet type search on that and I think that will clear everything up (except your Nightmares, just imagine that thing skating across a frozen pond towards you with a hockey stick. Terror has a new name... )

OK, @Lunamor, here's another one + ING

I like this sentence a lot, hahahaha. Definitely post it when you're done I'm excited to see it!

@ProfetessaOscura, those are amazing!! I looked up what the Ruby RWBY figure looked like without your customization, and here's an image of it: And here's your modified Vin version: It's nice to see them side by side so you can see your awesome work!! The body sculpts for your custom figures are really well done and are adorable! I love the little pattern you added on Shallan's dress, Vin's mistcloak looks amazing and Adolin's hair, Shardblade, and stance are perfect. Seriously nice work!

A good friend just wrote a song with his wife and put it up on soundcloud. It's amazingly pretty and incredibly sweet. When We're Gone by D H. @Truthless of Shinovar you should check it out, it has a very definite Avett Brothers vibe.

Thanks Ghander. Your roast was fantastic @Hentient, looking forward to seeing more of your roasts! Have to say @Toaster Retribution you could have Naled it. I was disappointed by the decided lack of vengeance seeking appliances in this round... Excited to see the next round!!

Hmm, any word from ICE what Jhistal is going to be about, like a blurb or something? That's funny that they have 5 Wot retreads on the Tor website, reminds of Michael Keaton's line from Beetlejuice, "I've seen the Exorcist 27 times, and it just keeps getting funnier ever single time." Seems like they're probably long past the point of diminishing returns on beating that dead horse. What did you think of the Malazan reread of the Fallen? I read an interview with Erickson where he said that a major conflict between two insanely powerful characters was actually decided by the roll of a 20 sided dice when he and Cam were playing/creating Malazan. (spoilered for TotH)

Thanks @Ooklara, that and Walk In Shadow are the two books I'm looking forward to the most!

Hahahaha, yeah I wore out the back 30 seconds button on audible while listening up through Memories of Ice, normally I prefer to read the book first and then listen to the audiobook sometime later, but Lister's performance was just so good. After MoI I got the paperback for House of Chais and then from HoC on I got the complete Malazan book of the Fallen kindle collection. I'm pretty sure I snagged it when you made a post about it going on sale @Ammanas! The epigraph poems are much better in book form, some of those I had to listen to 10+ times to figure out what was going on. Ralph Lister's performances for the first 3 are still some of my favorite audio book narrations of all times. Michael Paige does a good job too, and his voice for Karsa is the voice I hear in my head when I read Kara's dialogue. Hopefully they will get Paige to narrate the witness trilogy, anyone have any idea when The God is Not Willing is slated to come out?

Duhn Da Da Duhn! Corrrrrect! Baa - A Doe - Mushroom - - > Ba-Ado-Mishram. Your turn @Lunamor

OK, guess I'll go. Here's another one of these, I think they are quite diverting.

Granted. Based on a Statista report on 2019 muffin volume forecasts in select markets in the EU (Spoilered below) The 10 sampled EU countries consumed 24,719 tons of muffins in 2019 (roughly 50 million lbs), and the sampled countries had a population of 421 million. So just for the 10 sampled countries, approximately 68 tons of muffins were consumed daily, with a per capita daily muffin consumption rate of 0.000323 lbs of muffin / person. Ignoring muffins consumed in the developing world, we will use the 2020 population of the G20 group of countries, 4.6 billion people, and use a daily per capita muffin consumption rate half of the EU survey, 0.0001615 lbs of muffins per day per person, to arrive at a reasonable estimate that on any given day 743,000 lbs of muffins are consumed, meaning that when you suddenly get "all the muffins" you are in fact crushed quite thoroughly by 371 tonnes of muffiny goodness. Hope you at least had your mouth open and got a couple bites in. I wish I could output my vision in a manner where it is recordable through non-invasive means (i.e. no electrodes, data Jack's, brain implants, etc) so that I could record the phosphene patterns of light that occur from purely mechanical retinal stimulation when when I rub my eyes.