Archer

My character is a cleric. He's got some pretty cool spells. This one time, I leveled up and got access to a new Domain spell called Iron Body. I was eager to try it out. So, a little while later, when we were about to enter a tower, I cast the spell on myself. I was now living iron, impervious to some conventional attacks and stronger than usual. I figured I was unbeatable for the next few rounds, so I entered first. Rolled a six, opened the door. Entered circular room at the bottom of the tower, used dark vision to look around. No obvious threats, just some boxes. Approached boxes. All was going well, until BANG! A pair of monsters jumped out from behind the boxes. Two medium sized, brown… rust monsters. It’s the only time I’ve ever come across rust monsters, and had to be the one time I was made of iron. I spent the entire fight just running around in circles while my (laughing uncontrollably) companions shot at them. I ended up taking a large amount of damage anyway, and had to replace all of my weapons that weren’t in the bag of holding. They were eventually defeated and we got to claim our loot. Actually, the chests turned out to mimics and attacked us, but that’s another story.

Arcanum Unbounded The Emperor's Soul Mistborn: Secret History Edgedancer

*runs out of upvotes* I LOVE EVERY ONE OF THESE!!! Yo @Ashspren this is proxsome! (It's pro, it rocks, and it's awesome) Can I get on that reserve list for the next time 'round?

Welcome to the Shard! What's your favourite book?

Mace was caught by surprise. But he waved his honour guard away. Rashan's words have him pause. He recognized Rashan, but Rashan didn't recognize him. A shattered stone. A smoking gun. Regret. But none of that mattered anymore. He was committed to this course. And he needed allies. "We're all doing it. Some of us are more aware of it than others. But we're all doing it, whether we want to or not," he said, mostly to himself. When Rashan gave him a strange look, he shook his head and focussed on the matter at hand. "Have a seat, both of you." As they did so, Mace quickly whispered instructions to the leader of the Sentinels. As they sat on the grass, Mace pulled a package of cookies from his satchel. Taking one, he passed the bag to the others and indicated they should help themselves. "Humans," he began, "are by default evil. But mankind is, in essence, good. Something about having other people around makes us good. So the measure of a man isn't what he did in public, but what he does in private. By that measure, I am not a good man." He took a bite of his cookie and continued. "I have made many mistakes in my life. And I'm about to make one more. Soon, my men and I will march on the Dark Alley. Not for glory or for revenge, but because it is the right thing to do. When faced with two bad choices, one must choose the path that causes the least harm. Soon, a wave of darkness will arise from the city over there. Demons, beavers, dragons... All manner of monstrous beasts. But that is just the beginning. After the vanguard will come the soulless ones. The cultists and the spiked. He controls them now. And He lost his soul long ago. The choice for me was simple. I'm going to stand against their tyranny. And I'd you to join me in this fight." Having issued his challenge, Mace went back to munching his cookie.

Earlier. Just after Mace left the Newcago Court. Mace grunted as he landed with a jolt on the rich Nalthis soil. He’d always had trouble with Tia cards. He squinted in the bright sunlight. Ahead of him, down the overgrown dirt path, lay his destination, a long, single storey stone building. It stood out against the flat landscape. The threes within five hundred meters of it had all been cut down for fuel. Mace could see the smoke of the hearths coming out of the chimney as he approached. When he arrived the large iron doorway, he nodded to the pair of guards who stood there. Such security was likely pointless, no one knew this place existed save those who worked there and a few members of his guild. The guards politely opened the door for him. Breathing in one last breath of fresh air, Mace stepped into the dimly lit bunker. Inside, he was greeted by a delegation of TUBA scientists who took him to a small office space. When they were all seated comfortably on the floor around a squat wooden table laden with cookies, Mace began their meeting. “So how goes the preparations?” he asked casually. The Head Scientist nervously began to stutter out his report. “Well Mace, they’re going well. I understand that this isn’t your specialty, so I’ll dumb it down for you.” As he continued to talk about his work, his nervousness faded and his voice took on an excited tone. “What we’ve managed to do is create a legion of versatile soldiers. It started with some soulcasting. We made three components, blood for life, bones for movement, and stone for protection. All three were awakened. The cost in breaths was enormous, but we found quite a number of willing volunteers once we started giving away free cookies. The command given to the awakened blood was along the lines of ‘flow, circulate within the vessel you are put into’. Then we spiked them.” Mace recoiled at this. “Say that again, really slowly,” he demanded. But the scientist was unfazed. “Don’t worry, no one was hurt in the process. We had to be creative to get them though. All it took was a single volunteer. And believe me, they were hard to convince. But once we did, we got them to duplicate their power. We gave them an unkeyed nicrosilmind that grants feruchemical gold and one that grants feruchemical tin. They tapped nicrosil, tap gold, then store in the tin for the pain. The spike goes through, makes a copy of their power, then the gold heals back the physical and spiritual damage. We then took these spikes, and put them in our freshly created soldiers. Unfortunately, we only had a few years, so we weren’t able to make as many as you wanted.” He consulted his clipboard. “Our present tally stands at about a dozen single-spiked ones, fifty mistborn ones, and five fullborns. With their handlers and support crews, the army stands about a hundred strong. All of our soldiers have been given koloss swords or stone clubs.” Mace was impressed. “You’ve done well,” He said, getting to his feet. “I leave now for the battlefield. Have the army follow me as quickly as you can. I will wait for you with my honour guard before beginning our assault.” **** The present. A hill overlooking the Alleyvillage. Later, Mace found himself standing atop a small grassy hill, overlooking a sea of dark passageways. Around him, an honour-guard of about twenty young chefs stood in a semi circle. They were old for soldiers, most being around thirty, but training them to make cookies and fight efficiently had taken time. They were dressed in the uniform of hazekillers, and had avoided wearing any metal on their person. Most clutched wooden shields and a short staff, or held a longbow. They looked nervous. Mace turned his back on the battlefield to look at them. “Gentlemen! Thank you for joining me here today,” he began, his voice bellowing across the hill. “Now is traditionally the time where a leader would say something nice. Where he’d tell you that it’s all going to be okay. Where he’d tell you to remember your training, and trust in your fellow soldiers. But I say no to that. You men are the best TUBA has to offer. You’ve already shown yourselves to brave. Loyal. Ruthless, when needed. You’re the cream of the crop. You already know every flattering word I can throw at you. So instead, I’m going to be honest. Many of you will not survive this battle. That’s right. You will die in excruciatingly painful ways fighting demons from the lowest pits of the underworld. But! You will not die in vain! And you will not die alone! When the enemy taunts me, when they tell me to abandon my brothers in arms, I say no! I stand by my men in life, and in death. We march this day to our inevitable doom. But we have a choice. We may either choose to die fighting to defend the grip of tyranny on this land, or we can go down fighting for what we believe in. I ask you! Will we fight for those pompous cultists of the Dark Alley? The same Dark Alley that has spread fear and bad cookies throughout the Alleyverse for Stormfather knows how long? Do we fight to protect immorality? Or injustice? I say no! We’re going to teach them a lesson they’ll never forget! We march this day to attack the Dark Alley. We march this day to remind the world that there’s a guild that still cares about honour. We march this day to make the streets run red with overturned bags of Dark Alley sugar - mixed with bloooood! When my limbs grow weary and beg for rest, I say no! When I am consumed by doubt and feel like giving up the fight, I say no! When all is dark and stormy grey, I say no! No, I tell you! I will carry on the fight my brothers! We will not win this day with numbers or advantages, but with spirit and perseverance! For when evil comes a knockin’… I. SAY. NO!” The honor guard gave a cheer as in the distance a dust cloud rose, announcing the arrival of the rest of his army.

The Sentinel Representative nodded. Then leaned in to whisper something in her ear.

"Expletive!" Mace exclaimed. "So soon?" The Sentinel Representative nodded. "Okay," Mace continued. "I'll get my battle armour ready, then go pick up the army. I'll meet him on the battlefield as soon as I'm ready." The Sentinel Representative nodded. "Sorry guys. I've got to go. See you around." The Sentinel Representative noodled. Mace then removed a Tia card from his pocket and stroked it. Just as he was about to disappear, he shouted, "Give my thanks to Queen E! It's been a fun party!". Then he was gone. The Sentinel Representative continued to casually improv on his flute. It sounded terrible.

At the mime switchboard room, a mime pretended to receive Mac's call. She then forwarded the location to MimeCo. #4981, the local branch of mime repairmen. The mimes then took off at top speed on their invisible tandem bike to find the leak. They would have sung as they worked, but they're mimes so they just played music from an invisible radio.

*rereads my first few posts* *facepalms* My Intro topic got derailed after I failed to reply to anyone. And also because I chose linguistic differences as the topic of conversation. The posts ended up being stuff like this: My next post was an astonishingly well written and thoughtful post about a potential fourth book in the Reckoners series. I suspect I spent an hour revising and rewriting it in order to make it look so good. After that I complimented someone's art, then double posted on the meme page. Thrice in one week*. I am eternally grateful that Shqueeves then told me double posting is wrong. (After that I read the rules and ceased being a despicable human being.)

"Actually..." Mace caught himself before he started on a lecture on how to heal dead people. "Nevermind. I'm sorry Tena, that was out of line. No hard feelings?" He offered his hand to her to shake.

IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE! The Dark Alley gives away cookies with spikes in them. Hemalurgic spikes that they can use in their experiments after they snag your soul and, um, pass through afterwards. The Underground Bakery Association doesn't like this. They warn people of their impending doom, and offer alternatives like non-hemalurgic cookies. Helpful links can be found in my signature under this post. Welcome to the Shard!

These oaths are accepted. Welcome to TUBA.

The sled flew true, smashing into the snowbank above Tena. It caused a mini avalanche, sending snow spilling down onto them, half burying them. Mace smiled. Then Yzabet slapped him. "Ow!" he muttered, rubbing his cheek. He looked up at her. Looking into her eyes triggered something in his subconscious. A memory, faint, but poignant. "Sorry!" he shouted in the general direction of his fellow party-goers. Feeling a bit embarrassed at how reckless he'd been acting, he slowly got to his feet to inspect the damage he'd caused. Luckily, no one was hurt. Although, much confusion and delay had been caused. "Hey Yzabet?" he asked. "Could I get a ride to the bottom with you? My ride appears to be in several different pieces at the moment."

Mace watched the other racers zoom around him. If he was worried, he didn't show it. In fact, he reached down and pulled the parking brake on his sled to slow it down. When that failed to do anything (likely due to the lack of wheels) he grabbed the coil of rope on the seat beside him tied it around his waist, then jumped ship. He flew through the air as the sled zipped out from underneath him. Eventually the rope pulled taut, as the other end was connected to the floor of the sled. He felt like a kite. Mace then quadrupled his weight. He dropped like a stone, landing with a crunch in the middle of the track. Using his body like a human anchor, and his hands to guide the rope, he swung the sled around him like the hand of a clock. Its momentum carried it in an arc, lifting up into the air as it swung. Mace allowed it to swing 90 degrees to get it in the right position, before deftly drawing on some stored speed to quickly untie the knot holding it on to him, releasing the sled. He watched with satisfaction as it whizzed through the air like a cannon shot, headed towards the person standing at the finish line.

*recognizes it* That was a good one. I'd forgotten what Stormblessed's old pic looked like. Here's one from the TUBA archives (I could give the context, but it's funnier if I don't): I have no idea what my inscription would be. The ninja emoji would probably be in there somewhere.

I'd like to create a personal account. I'll keep 30C on my person, and the rest in the vault. Upon my death, the money should be transferred to SD with instructions that he should hold on to it until such time that he finds a worthy character to give the money to.

Mace got hit in the face with a coin before he'd even started to move. Cool, free money, he thought as he healed the wound by drawing from his gold metalmind. Using his lance to push off of the ground, he glided forwards. Speeding down a hill, he raced towards the other competitors. "HO HO HO!" he laughed, feeling jolly. As he leaned into his turn, he saw the man who'd hit him with the coin moonwalking in front of him. Mace stuck out his arm to collect a fistful of snow from the ground. He shaped it into a ball. As he rounded the next bend, he threw it at Tena.

Mace looked away guiltily. "I hope you're ready to lose Yzy," he responded. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeves." He casually began to slick his running boards with grease to deter boarders. Where he came from, people raced to win. A glance around the starting line told him his fellow racers had forgotten to bring their lances. I guess I'll be the only one jousting the competition then, he thought. It would be a short race then.

Mace straightened his bowtie. "Yes. You are, as usual, right. We have a reputation to maintain." He felt a little queasy, but he shook it off. "I'll just wait for the starter's orders then." He began to twiddle his thumbs. He occasionally glanced over to where Yzabet was standing, eyeing how easy it would be to sabotage her sled, but resisting the urge like a good boi.

"Sand dunes are very much like snowy hills. They're just less cool. Running's easier though." Mace paused and stepped to the side to let a mime get past him to inspect the crack in the fourth wall. "This is a nice sled. Good paint job, nice seats. It's aeroooooooo-" he stumbled and tripped into the sled. It began to roll forward. "LET'S GOOOOOO!" he shouted, face still smushed into the floor of the sled.

Got it. If anyone sees something that needs updating, or a mistake that I've made (copying everything over to this post was complicated, I'm sure I made a mistake or two) don't be afraid to tag me to I can fix it. Thanks.

"I'd be honoured to race you! But I must warn you, I've been practicing." He paused for a second to think. "Although the only place I've ever tried it before today has been the sand dunes outside of my (now burned to a crisp after that spaceship landing) ranch. But how hard could it be?" He then proceeded to pose dramatically in preparation.

This post has been claimed by the Alleyverse mods for the Era 4 Character list. -Macthorstenson You can find the character list of our current Era in the post below this. - Sorana

Legend has it the mods did that so they could steal the cool sword he had won. No one would believe the word of a man with a Chasmfiend Corpse brand. But Voidus didn't give up. He worked hard and got a promotion! He now works to protect the mods and their website. In about three years we'll get to learn more about Voidus' adventures, but the focus of that book will mostly be on firstRainbowRose (whom everyone is going to ship with Voidus for no other reason than they're both main characters.)