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Archer

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Everything posted by Archer

  1. Archer
    A piece of popcorn hit Rilu on the head. "NERD!" A voice from the balcony called. Klasten peeked his head over the side. "Oops," he shouted in Night and Rilu's direction. "I thought you were going for a book. My bad. Carry on!"
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    It makes a star symbol appear next to the thread to draw attention to it. Beyond that, I don't know if there's any other effects.
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    "Of course!" Klasten handed him his extra bag of popcorn. He always carried one. "Let's annoy that rich looking guy first, then throw popcorn at the mosh pit afterwards."
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    Ideally it gets enough posts to stay at the top on its own. How about I feature it? I've never done that before.
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    “Ladies and gentlemen, fresh from Shinovar, Klasten of TUBA!” bellowed the announcer. Seconds later, Klasten materialized in front of the front door. “Hello everyone,” he said distractedly. He was too busy analyzing the upper levels of the building to acknowledge the party guest’s expressions of greeting. “Excuse me,” he mumbled as he bumped into a waiter. As the man stumbled to keep his balance, Klasten stole his bowtie. He walked quickly away, tying it around his own neck, but his eyes remained fixed on the upper balconies. There. He spotted what he was looking for. A lone figure, perched above the dance floor, nose in a book. With a grin, he headed off towards the spiral staircase that connected the main floor to the second. It was time to engage in his favourite party pastime: throwing popcorn at the nerds as they tried to read.
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    Shinovar: Home of the Shinovar Shin-kickers "What a nice spider-mutant," Klasten remarked as Ioc disappeared. "But he forgot to drop me off next to a perpendicularity." He was tempted to use his black sphere to summon Ioc again, but then he remembered his convenient supply of Tia cards. "I wonder if these are working now," he said, tapping the card. Fortunately for him, it did.
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    Klasten was not at all worried that Ioc was planning on destroying the Earth and/or slaying the Smedry clan. "His name's Max. He's the son of a Smedry, so he is too. He got the power to underestimate things. He mostly just uses it to carry heavy boxes, so we call him Super Max." Klasten was an idiot. "Here, I've got his number. You can just look him up his coordinates in the Alleyverse Phone Book." He wrote it down on a piece of paper and gave it to Ioc. "Before you go, would you mind helping me get out of this box? It's giving me claustrophobia."
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    Suddenly, the skylight was thrown open. A face-paint covered figure peeked over the edge, looking down at the party guests below. They were visibly frustrated. In response to a signal by his gloved hand, two others joined him. Then the three of them jumped through the hole. They assumed the skydiving position, arms and legs making a star shape, facing the ground. The crowd watched in horror, for the men didn't appear to have any ropes connected to them, or parachutes to open. But, inexplicably, just as they were about to hit the ground, they stopped. As if suspended by an invisible wire, they hung in midair, inches from the floor. The mimes, for that's what they were, used finger scissors to cut themselves free of their invisible safety net. They then put on their invisible hard hats, took out their invisible bottles of glue, then began repairing the hole in the fourth wall that a certain root-beer-hating guest had created.
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    The Box, Somewhere: Klasten was confused. THE SPIDER CAN SHAPE SHIFT?! He wasn't aware that spiders had that capability. Maybe it's a mutant spider. Maybe I can get it to bite me, then I'll get super powers! He decided to answer the second question first, while he searched his memories for what he'd been taught about Smedrys. "You know when you're roasting marshmallows and everyone around comes over to try to steal from the bag? It was like that. The liebrarian's planning on travelling to the worldspike to free the guardian. All the best adventurers stopped by to nibble. But then the liebrarian let his marshmallow get to close to the fire, and I was forced to burn him a bit. Just to dissuade him from doing it again, you know? At that point, the marshmallows were all poison anyway and nobody knew it but me 'cause I knew knowing marshmallows and I warned them but they didn't listen so I shot at them." He took a deep breath. "Smedrys are a race of invested humans hailing from the planet Earth. My mentor told me they had two power. The first was always something random and useless. The second was that they were incredibly lucky. I’m not actually from Earth, but I had a cousin from there I could hook you up with, if you’re interested. Fun place Earth. Lot’s of water. Why do you want to know about them?"
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    The Box, Elsewhere: Klasten wished he spoke spiderspeak. He tried to remember his dogspeak lessons, and hoped the languages were close enough to be understood by the spider. "What is it, boy?" he said, speaking louder than he needed to. "Roll over? Sit! Is it dangerous? Would you like a bone? Speak!"
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    Disclaimer: I know that Brandon has repeatedly said that Reckoner's isn't cosmere. This isn't a serious suggestion. I think the easiest way to get Reckoners into the Cosmere is via the Apocalypse Guard. The premise of that book was originally touted as being teams of heroes jump from place to place in the multiverse, averting disasters. It was also originally set in the Reckoners universe. It would be easy for Brandon to work in a cameo. Something like: Zoba: Where should we go next? *Emma walks down the hall of doors. She opens one at random, revealing a planet of lava* Emma: Nah. Too hot. *opens the door beside it, revealing the roof of Kredik Shaw. A confused Steel Inquisitor shoots a coin at her* Emma: I like- Zoba: Vetoed! Any planet with spike-eyed people is too far gone for us to save. *Emma shrugs* Emma: Volcanoes it is. The books premise allows for as many universe-connecting possibilities (or more) as Megan's Epic power. I think Calamity's resemblance to a shard is just a reflection of Brandon's writing style. There's a tentative connection, but it would be easier to just connect the universes via AG portal doors instead of trying to shoehorn magic systems into each other.
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    The Box, Elsewhere: Klasten plucked his banjo, playing an upbeat melody with the spider. He looked around, taking in the dark grey walls of the box. "Huh. So this is how Voidus feels," he said.
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    WHOOSH! Klasten disappeared, then reappeared elsewhere, in a dark box that smelled like it had wards to prevent teleportive escape.
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    We have the public poll at the start of the thread. We could have actual people vote (I'm sure those 12 who voted already would be willing to oblige us). Then the characters in the audience could react appropriately. Eg. Fangblade growls and gives a thumbs-down. I'm sure the doctors have some oath that they'd be breaking if they let a contestant die. Even in Hamilton the doctor immediately helped once the duel was done. But he didn't interfere before then. If a medical professional convinced themselves that it was their duty to wait until the end... it's a tough moral issue. I'll have to think on that.
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