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Hemalurgic Headshot

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  1. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Uh, if you haven't noticed the Crusade going on...
  2. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Ah, but in this game, anyone can be anyone. You could be deceiving us all, or at least Straw.
  3. Hemalurgic Headshot
    As to which, I bet one day there will be a Way of Kings leather bound.
  4. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Suspicious...
  5. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Joe learned that you could tell how the crowd was feeling by watching the waiters' faces. If the crowd was pleased, then the waiter was as impassive as a stone. If the crowd was getting restless, then the waiter frowned. If the crowd was angry... that waiter will take ages getting the ash taco out of that suit. Joe looked at the heaps of ash tacos on the counters. That would probably be enough for the rest of the day, if things went well. He sat down and thought. From what he had heard, someone had died, everyone was crazy about it, and no one took him up on the ash taco eating contest. He sighed. Why would no one want to participate in a nice face-cramming competition? Another waiter walked in the door. Bits of food were in his hair. "Cook. The town is no longer concentrated in its entirety in the manor, thank the Lord Ruler. What else do you have to give them?" Joe glanced back at the mounds of ash tacos. He grabbed a few and put them on the platter. The waiter gave him a slightly disgusted look. "If you keep feeding them more, then you'll poison the town dead before the Spiked do," the waiter said in a level voice. Spiked? "Nah, it'll just build up an immunity. That's when they taste really good." Joe said. The waiter did the closest thing to rolling his eyes without actually rolling them. Joe sat back down as the waiter left, and scrapped his back on the wall. Rusts! I hate it when that happens. Why can't there just be smooth walls?
  6. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Can you do Wyndle? Lift's spren? I mean just Wyndle... I can't find a good picture of just him.
  7. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Specifically, you seemed suspicious with that first post, when you requested presence with Felix, Herwynbe, Carmichael. And no one else has accused you, so why not?
  8. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Well, @Ecthelion III, it is truly an interesting concept, one that you might know about. It could be one, but it could also be another. In this format, we can't see each other's faces and read their expressions, so often one must make an assumption based on what they know and stick to it. Or else that individual will get tangled in the many twisting cords of deceit and trickery.
  9. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Welcome to the Shard! Look out for those cookies.... Well, I guess you've already been around, but still welcome.
  10. Hemalurgic Headshot
    After further review of the current material, I have decide that Ecthelion III is a guilty soul. Rat has spoken.
  11. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Seeing the general consensus on Rae, if a few more votes against Rae, then we'll have a lynched Rae. How interesting, the depth that everyone is reading into everyone's posts. Of course, "everyone" is an exaggeration. Now I have a choice: I can go with the flow and vote against Rae, or I be useless and go my own way. I still have some time to decide. I'm going to go back and read through everyone's posts again.
  12. Hemalurgic Headshot
    What? No one participated in my little contest? Oh well. This certainly is interesting. Considering the turn of events, the Lurcher is who ever expected Wilson would be attacked N1. Hmmm.... The attacker must also be afraid of Wilson... Joe stopped methodically producing ash tacos for once, and contemplated the previous events. Whistler's shop had burned down, and people were saying it was no accident. He bit into an ash taco and murmured blissfully. Why does everyone keep dissing my ash tacos? A bit of sun peeked in through the window. Joe looked up and banged his head on the shelf above. Bloody ashes... Seeing that it's morning, Joe began to make breakfast ash tacos, with all of that good metaphorical bacon, eggs, and cheese. Here's a tip: ash tacos are best cooked with metaphors.
  13. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Joe pushed up his sleeves and whipped out another batch of ash tacos. After he had commandeered the kitchens by sheer force of will, (the other cooks demanded that he let them sample his food, to prove its worth. That batch wasn't properly cooked yet...) more and more orders had popped up. Soon the counters were covered in ash tacos, and Joe was handing them out as fast as possible. A waiter came by with an empty platter. "Your meals are hardly substantial, and the lack of variety is becoming boring. This is a respectable place, not whatever pub you've worked in." The waiter scoffed. Joe raised an eyebrow, and grabbed another ash taco and placed it on the platter. "How about this: whoever can eat the most ash tacos within one minute gets a special reward from me. That'll be enough excitement for them." Joe grinned mischievously. The waiter frowned, but walked away with the platter. Joe got back to work, making ash tacos. Insubstantial? Hmmmph! I survived two years on those things, back in the good old days with Pablo and Juan and Diego. If anyone survives that contest with a sound mind, they will surely get a reward from me.
  14. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Welcome to the Shard! Here's another upvote. And the cookies are (p)unbearable! Preserve yourself and get out of here before the puns arrive! Too late...
  15. Hemalurgic Headshot
    The manor is an impressive building, to say the least. At least two stories, with a prominent tower. It's backside is not as prominent. Joe snuck around the corner, feeling in the darkness for the back door. Stealth, he thought, as he proceeded to tumble over the rubbish that clogged the alley. Metallic clangs echoed off the walls. Finally, his hand grasped a latch. Joe pulled. With a creak, a long, desperate, abnormally long creak, the door opened, and the darkness became slightly less dark darkness. A squeak came from behind. "Oh good, you're here now, Rat. Welcome to the party." Rat crept out of the gloom. Joe grabbed him and walked into the back door. It was cool in the room. Joe couldn't see anything. Then, he heard the sound of laughter and excitement. Hands to the walls, he followed the noise. Light poured in from a spacious hall. Joe saw long tables arranged with a feast, and the inhabitants of Tyrian Falls dining. However, his job is to cook, not to eat. Rat squeaked. "Fine. Go get yourself something to eat." He set Rat down on the stone floor and he scurried away. Joe continued to search the corridor. Down the hall, a wondrous smell wafted. His nose dragged him onward, towards that heavenly scent. The door was closed. Straining his useless arms, he was able to crack the door open. The smell grew stronger. He wedged his fingers in the gap and widened it. Soon it was wide enough for his skinny body to slip through. Yes, this is the kitchen. And there was a puddle for him to slip in. The crash drew the attention of the other cooks, who came rushing over. "Who is this hoodlum?" The fattest one inquired. Joe put on his most innocent expression, but could only manage a guilty look. "Me?" He said. "I make a killer ash taco."
  16. Hemalurgic Headshot
    The Letter Sixteen was a bit less packed than usual, with only two bar fights and one heart attack (he's fine now). Joe scanned the crowd before lifting A plate bearing his ash taco supreme. "Order thirteen, your meal is ready, number 22, there was a bit of a problem with the stove, so you'll have to wait." A man came up and retrieved the platter and began to walk away. Joe stopped him. "Where's everyone? People can't resist my ash tacos." "They all went to Herwynbe's manor. I was going to head over..." Joe pondered this. Someone is going to have to cook for all of those people, and people like to eat when they're stressed. He nodded to the man and made his way into the kitchens. In the back of the kitchen was a window that Joe used to dispose junk. He began to climb out, but a patch of slime caused him to slip. He fell, screaming, before landing a split second later. Oomph. Joe looked around, to see if anyone had heard his embarrassing mishap. He sighed. Then he went to break into the manor's kitchen.
  17. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Seeing the incorporeal Help Wanted poster appear faintly outside The Letter Sixteen, Joe knew that for some reason, his uselessness would be needed. He confidently strutted through the door, but rolled his ankle, so his swagger was reduced to a pitiful limp. Painfully, he shuffled over to the bar, where a man frowning deeply stood scrubbing methodically. "Say, is there any need for a cook? I make a killer ash taco..." Cook ability unlocked! Gains the ability to make random food items of dubious quality. Not certified by the FDA.
  18. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Well then, let us drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die! Or at least someone.
  19. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Welcome! Don't eat those cookies, they'll Ruin you!
  20. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Here's another upvote! And don't trust him. The cookies will Ruin you!
  21. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Welcome to the Shard! Without cookies, we all live in Harmony. So don't Ruin it and eat them.
  22. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Depends... What kind of cookies? Some cookies are worth dying for.
  23. Hemalurgic Headshot
    If an individual withdraws from human interaction, a variety of things will occur. Usually, this individual will simply devote the time that would normally be spent interacting with others to another task. Sometimes this is academics. With academic-devotion, the individual begins filling his/her mind with random facts and becomes an encyclopedia. This is not a bad thing, and can be beneficial for grades, but makes the individual socially awkward. Other times, this extra time is spent on gaming. With gaming-devotion, the individual spends excessive amounts of time gaming. Side effects can include social awkwardness, obesity from excessive snacking, and other things. Yet again, this time can be spent reading books. Book-devotion is the best way to read all of Brandon Sanderson's books in a week. Most often though, if an individual withdraws from society, then social awkwardness will result. My advice: interact with other people. Make a group of friends and do stuff together. Social awkwardness applies to friendships too.
  24. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Everything I give you will be useless. Speak with caution. Unexpected squeak. "Shut up, Rat!"
  25. Hemalurgic Headshot
    Ah! the puns are upon us! And Mistborn is great.
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