Shadowfax

Well, we made it to Missouri! 5 days of driving, hauling a trailer and copped up in a small car with 2 cats >.< BUT WE MADE IT! Got in last night, finally got my laptop set up again and so I hope to start putting together a proper prologue and chapter one to my book. I've ha da lot of time to think over everyone's comments and "write" in my head as a drove, so I'm super excited and really nervous at the same time.

I thought the Red Rip was Taln's Scar (Roshar) or am I confusing it with something else?

I'm logged in on my phone! We're driving through Wyoming now and it's covered in snow and only 28 degrees F. Wyoming fails at recognizing springtime in the states.

Heyas folks!!! I know I've been quiet but we've been so busy lol. We got hung up on a weather delay and it's been hectic as all get out. We are picking up and packing the trailer today and starting our drive tomorrow. Things... Marci!!!! Noooooooo ;_; I'm gonna miss you and I hope it's nothing terrible and sad. Killing characters... it's like this. You need to answer important questions. How many characters do I have, and how many do I need? If have > need, feel free to trim. But you also need to ask yourself, why. Death must serve a purpose. Does the death: further plot development? Further a (different) character's development? Provide *desperately* needed tension/emotional impact? If you can't say yes to any of those, don't kill the character. And if it's the third one, also ask yourself why the story is desperately lacking in tension, because that's an issue all on its own. On a personal note, as much as I hate seeing some of those characters go, I think Martin's blatant killing of them is genuine and realistic. Its a continent-wide warzone full of ambition... people will die left and right. He has built an enormous amount of tension in his books simply by declaring that no one is safe. Character death is a theme, he has to keep it up to stay true to that thematic element. Not every book could get away with it like he does however. As for character resurrection... it's not a ploy I enjoy, but it can be done if you follow some basic rules. 1. Foreshadow the ever loving heck out of how it would be possible. If it isn't built up, readers will get hit from left field with something miraculous, not understand it, or worse, be left with a chunk of exposition in the narrative slowing the pacing. 2. Use it sparingly. If your characters can come back any time, there will be no tension. The readers will not care if your characters are in danger, there will be threat to their lives. 3. Never ressurect a character simply because you're afraid to kill it in the first place. If youve established they need to die, kill them. If they're critical to later plot, then ask: can any other character fill this role? If yes, kill them and move the plot to a different character's arc. If no, find another way. A fake death is fine if you can pull it off. Or mount some tension and give the character a reason to disappear for a while. Sorry, got into lecture mode xD Also, I'll respond to my critiques you guys left when I have a bit of extra time. I appreciate them and they're super helpful. I have a very good idea of how I can start a prologue and chapter one of my book. Literally all I had written were those scenes and a bazillion pages of world-building notes. Plus my rough outlines. So, thank you. I'm off to go move now! *waves*

Children that young were not squires, but held the title of Page. Men were unable to be knighted before the age of 21 (similar to inheritance laws). They did not squire until puberty.

Thanks for the critiques. Multiquote doesn't like to work on my web browser so I'm going to try to respond and still make sense :/ When I write, I have to turn off the editing part of my brain or I will sit and over-edit as I go and never actually write anything. So, yes, my words, tenses, etc end up a jumbled mess. No worries, this will all be fixed when I actually write things out properly. Stream of consciousness writing is dirty xD This is not Earth or an alternate Earth, but a completely different planet. There's actually a lot of worldbuilding going on, so I stuck a lot of it into those first few scenes to see how people reacted to the elements. I've gotten feedback that tells me what I needed to know. There is a lot of very important backstory, history, etc that is extremely important to the book (and it's not about heart strings, it's about me knowing what my plot is and what I need in the book to make the ending work/make sense). With the feedback I've gotten, I think I've determined how the introduction of those elements will go over better with readers. And, I haven't spent much time in the Midwest, so I had no idea "Alls I know" was dialect there. I will have to change that in my book. Thanks for pointing it out. In the previous section I apparently gave Tora Jace's dialect and that was an oversight. I will fix that as well. The Bear and the Child is a dream sequence (which is hard to tell with it being so out of context), so the bear is not real. There are no intelligent animals in the world. I don't write out numbers until much later drafts. It's easier for my eyes to see numerical values, and it's faster/easier for me to use those so I can compare my writing to my notes to make sure I have my facts straight. All I can do is ask that the group put up with that for me, and understand I do know how to do it correctly and that this is a conscious choice on ,my part to make the earlier drafts easier for me to fact-check. What really surprised me the most was how everyone latched on to those early scenes on the island. Those are throwaway scenes meant to set up the backstory, so obviously I gave them too much screen time. I don't want them to end up being promises I made to readers. The real story begins with Tora's excavation in the centrelands. I've taken what people have liked and disliked about those early island scenes and I think I know how to present what I need to without the flood of exposition or making false promises. Obviously, if you read my notes, I had my doubts about them anyway, as far as how stagnant they were, so this is okay. Tora, Jace and Isra are the main characters, though we mostly follow Jace and Tora. We will see quite a bit of the world, so there will be descriptive world-building involved. Tora is also a scholar of sorts, what would be, in our time, an archaeologist, so her sections will reflect that. Jace is more faith based and not as educated as his sister is, and that reflects in his sections. Isra, now she isn't like the other two at all... Also, sorry for my delay in responding. We pick up our U-Haul on Friday and we've been scrambling to do all the last minute things. I'll be quite busy until we get settled in Missouri.

Yup, it's gone through no revisions yet. I figured once I knew which parts to build on and which to steer away from, then I could clean up the keepers. I'm a certified English teacher, so I'm not too worried about grammar and spelling editing. It's usually the last thing I do, because I'm a terrible typist xD A lot of the points you made, I also made in my own notes lol. Especially the boring history part and the über long exposition disguised as dialogue. You're right, we are jumping around a planet. The first scenes mostly set up a back story, Tora, Jace and Isra are the main PoV characters and the ones we would be following. I'm glad you picked up on the change of relationship between Tora and Jace. This scene would actually be a bit further along the book than the rest of them and I haven't decided about that street performer yet. Overall since this is, like you said, draft zero (literally some of this was stream of consciousness writing) anything is subject to change, even names or events. I submitted to get a feel for which parts people seemed most drawn to. I'm a history major; I've spent so many years writing dry papers that explain, that I really wanted this "pre-submit" to see if I had anything to work with. I'm much more interested in if anyone had a strong reaction to anything, and if so what, than I am about word choice, spelling, grammar, etc. Thank you for answering the questions from my post. That super helped, and I'm starting to see a starting point for a first chapter. I also had my boyfriend read and critique, and boy... let's just say he really thought the school scene, "is so cliché. It's some kid whining cause she's taken to school for the first time. Seriously?" When he said it to me like that it basically lost all emotional impact for me (it has some for me since I know the back story there). Anyway, all the answers to my questions I get really help narrow down my immediate chapter 1 goals. Much appreciated!

<sigh> On the plus side, I think I have an vague structure for the organization beginning to form. xD

As an avid Holmes fan, I refuse to recognize the existence of that 'show'.

I've read your submission and will wait an hour then read it again, but can you put up your critique thread so we can post our reviews?

From my email: This document contains all currently written scenes for City of Glass. They are in chronological order, but not necessarily are they in strict sequential order. There are many time gaps not indicated because these scenes come from various places within the books structure that is not yet written or finished. These scenes are unedited as of yet, they also have not gone through any sort of revision process. They are presented here as a query: Is the writing good? Are the characters good? How is the dialog and description? Does the world seem to work so far? Would this world and these characters be something you have an interest in reading about? Which scenes and characters stand out to you most? Any other thoughts? I plan to use those answers as my springboard to revitalize this project. Please, pick this apart. Be as critical as you can. You won’t hurt my feelings. Sometimes I look at some of these scenes and see rubbish. Others I hold near and dear to my heart. Just remember, these are not chapters, but individual scenes, each in their own bubble. They do not contain any spoilers, as all these scenes take place within what would be the first 10 chapters of the book, give or take. They also span (not counting the first one) a time-frame of at least 16 years, if not more. I’m still working on exact time-lines. Thank you for reading this and I appreciate any response at all, truly.

There's definitely room for that speculation.

I've been trying to find one, but it's impossible to look up the word "felt" o.O

Thank you Oversleep. I had found that post by Peter once and have just spent the last hour looking for it again. I remember having read it was 1.1 earth years and was trying to find it to post here.

I'm a bit of a grammar freak myself, so I DO understand. I think I took the perceived calling out a little personally, but I'm wont to do that kind of thing :/ No hard feelings And no, I don't think it applies to the entire 17th. I think Frost is content not to involve himself, and I think he sides with the 17th (and may even be a member, or a past member), but due to his non-intervention, isn't taking sides... That's a horrible way to explain it. o.O I think Frost agrees with what the 17th is doing but won't assist either the 17th or Hoid. There, that sounded a little better.

hehe Thanks It's actually the name of one of my cats (yup, named after the horse lol). She's sleek and silver and freaking FAST. But also loving and loyal. I think she ended up being named very well. I almost named her Tineye, but Shadowfax works far better lol My other cat is named Vasher. He's sneaky, demanding, destructive but also very loving when he decides he likes someone. He pretty much does whatever he feels like doing and there's no taming him. He has long fur that's mostly black on top but gets lighter grey under his belly and it's hard to keep it from clumping and matting sometimes. So... both my cats ended up just like the characters they were named after. I'm glad I didn't name any of them Sherlock - I'd never afford the copious amounts of catnip I'd need to keep in stock.

Sometimes good ole pen and paper.... there isnt' really a substitute. I do a lot of mapping, plotting, etc in paper notebooks, and I would go to that method atm but they're all packed and waiting for my move ;_; atm I'm stuck in Wikipedia reading about banners. flags, heraldry, etc. I'm calling it research. I think I got off-topic on my research as I'm actually attempting to worldbuild my religious organization. <sigh>

We can blame my tablet for that one. I need to figure out how to change the spelling it saved and keeps autocorrecting. I made one stupid typo way back when and now it's stuck But, I've seen plenty of misspellings of character/place/etc names on this forum, but I've never seen someone reply to a discussion just to tell someone they spelt something wrong; it doesn't really add to the discussion and (in my case) makes an already shy/skittish person even more panicky and afraid to post than I already am. Sorry about the typo

I'm in your same boat. I have tool paralysis as well. I have tried SO many different ways to organize notes and ideas, programs for writing scenes... it's a headache. 2 days ago I started my own wiki, and now I'm distracted trying to learn how to format the pages >.< I have a trial of Scrivener and I'm scared to use it up (when I owned a Mac, I had bought the program and liked it), but the flip side is that I also spend all my time trying to organize and not enough actually writing. ATM I'm doing my writing in a Word doc. I keep the navigation pane open and use headers for various sections. All my "scenes" at at the top (and I give each one a name to describe the scene, so I can find it easy) and all my notes are at the bottom (also with headers), and the navigation pane lets me click a header to go to that point in my document. Absolutely nothing is actually "organized" but I CAN find all my info and I can write scenes within easy access of my notes. It's horribly messy, but I've written more in that document than I've managed in years... And I agree with Robinski. Come join us in Reading Excuses! I just joined and tomorrow is my first submission, after feedback I'll start writing again and hopefully come up with a good app/program/method/etc. to move forward with my novel in a way that isn't messy as sin.

My zone is mental, mostly. I have to be able to clear my brain of Stuff. I can't listen to music (I'l start to sing along or dance in my chair), I can't watch TV... it's bad enough being on a computer where I constantly try to check email or forum posts or whatnot. I don't use any apps, cause I can't block my Internet as I do need to be able to research while I write - if I feel cut off I panic and then I definitely can't work. I also can't be too comfortable... if I get into too comfy a position I want to relax, which isn't good for my writing. For me to write I need to be alert, focused and full of caffeine and junk food. That being said, I wish I was more productive in rain. It's rained here every day for the last month and a half, with maybe 2 or 3 exceptions. I didn't get much done yesterday at all. Maybe today I'll make some progress.

Ooooooh. I'm going to need to track those down and read them!!!!

I'm also a Whovian! I'm a huge fan of Eleven and the Ponds are my favorite companion (all 3 of them, it totally counts). My favorite story arc is the backwards/forwards romance with River, and after that the arc with the Doctor prepping for his death by the lake in Utah.

Peter posted on the topic a while back (I had foudnt he post once but now I can't) that Shallan was 17 by the END of WoK, which would make her 16 during the book, which would put her in the 10-11 range for coming into her powers. This is also what's on Coppermind Wiki (they use Rosharan years, not ages, but the math works to 10-11 years old). So, I think this is accurate.

Do you think it could be similar to a radionuclide (lerasium too) and the "decay" is what contributes partially to the decrease in power potency over time? There are plenty of allomantic metals that are poisonous, why not radioactive as well. Radioactivity turned Peter Parker into Spiderman... >.>