Mr. Staccato

Rock and Sadeas ought to give out more testimonials if you ask me.

Women find both quite proficient at keeping meatheads away. If you are having hallucinations about either then its pretty safe to say that wherever you are, you are in DESPERATE NEED for air conditioning. Year old mayonnaise is like a strip of seaweed.

Awesome! If that power should ever belong to someone, it should belong to the one and only Mr. Staccato! If you need proof, one need only refer to my member title. Anyway, example weirdo abilities: The ability to convert latent soundwaves into specific fragrances. (Kinda like Dazzler from X-men but instead of sound to light, it's sound to smell.) The ability to turn your thoughts into text messages. The ability to control other people's facial expressions. (World's most useless superpower if you ask me) The ability to permanently modify the meaning of a word from the collective mind of humanity. (Basically the world is your wiktionary.)

Neither can be properly distinguished by a man with nerve dead fingers. A carrot is like a symbol of depression.

The Nightwatcher grants you the ability to draft blue luxin. Your mastery of the art is so supreme you make Blue Lanterns look like a freaking joke compared to you. But toying with cross-fictional universe magic systems has caused you to develop an even worse bane than simply devolving into a wight. Overuse of your power now turns you into... *consults Nightwatcher random bane list* ...a camel. Huh, go figure. I wish there was a metal in the universe that has the feruchemical property to store creativity. Sure would make writing a book far less troublesome.

Okay so here's the first index: WINDRUNNER CaptainRyan Mr. Fluffy SKYBREAKER DUSTBRINGER wolveryne EDGEDANCER Morzathoth Mr. Staccato TRUTHWATCHER Eccentric Hero ScottLeft ChickenPlague WestTea Mistibournes Aminar Sunbird LIGHTWEAVER Jondesu Unodus The Young Bard Argel Random Observations R Me radiantjasnah The Ninja Yodeler Emerald101 ELSECALLER maxal Erai Sedai Secret Ardent Man Erunion SynthLord98 An evil 545lighteyes AliasSheep Kiiyashi Stormgate Curiosity WILLSHAPER natc DreamEternal Islington kenod Sishal Slowswift STONEWARD Samaldin Chasmfiend BONDSMITH Ruro272 So judging by the number of Willshapers, Lightweavers, and Elsecallers we have, I guess it's safe to assume that if ever the 17th Shard gets attacked (by who I have no idea), the overwhelming option we have as an army is to just teleport ourselves to Shadesmar.

Granted. You now possess a remote capable of tampering with your hormones, a map to your body chemistry, and an 8000 page manual dedicated to how to make the freaking remote work. You want to control your hormones at will? Well, start reading. I wish for my very own successful sitcom.

Yeah... see, a guy like me who is allergic to just about every seafood in the universe (heck, even exotic fish trip my allergen radars) would probably find Roshar incredibly difficult to live in, especially since almost half the animals inhabiting the planet are part crustacean or part manta ray. If we factor in the number of times everstorms manifest in Roshar in a given year we might as well classify the entire planet as aquatic - face it, even Spongebob can live aboveground here. But if I were to pick a place to set up permanence on Roshar, I'd choose to live my life on the back of the island turtle (or is it crab?) things. No problems, no currency, no discrimination, and best of all no clo- *coughs heavily* -sets. No closets. NO ONE has closets up there. Yes, that doesn't make sense. Let's leave it at that.

Okay this may be a little bit out of topic but since this point has been raised, I would like to address this first before I get on to Jasnah's sexuality. There are theories going around that only people who have undergone significant trauma in their lives have the capacity to bond with their spren and thus subsequently become members of the order. I don't like the idea that only broken people get to become surgebinders or knights radiant (I don't necessarily disagree with it - I just don't like it). I get that spren choose people whose convictions are strong and in line with the ideals that they themselves represent - and that the best way for such convictions to arise or solidify only occur during personal tragedies, but having said that, I think that certain people do in fact happen upon powerful convictions on their own without having to undergo the severe experiences the protagonists of the Stormlight Archive are well known for. I guess I just don't like thinking that power in Roshar automatically equates to woobieness. Now regarding Jasnah's sexuality, I don't think she's gay - but having said that, it might be fair to say that Jasnah eschews the entire concept of gender identification. So instead of being gay (or straight for that matter), she's just being... you know, Jasnah - herself. No labels or titles or anything else attached. She is certainly open-minded and unconventional enough for it. Jasnah also strikes me as the kind of person who, if ever the thought of romance actually strikes her, would go for people who actually understand her and (as Shallan has kindly demonstrated) exhibits the same kind of passion she has for learning and research, regardless of the shell said characteristics come with.

I don't think the Nightwatcher appreciates being asked if she could be replaced by a mortal human being. So she bribes you instead with a real Pokeball to drop your wish. Inside resides the most powerful, the most terrible, the most awe-inspiring Pokemon in the entire universe. Congratulations! Your starting Pokemon is... Enjoy. Your bane is that since you're the only one in the entire world with an actual Pokemon, no Pokemon battles for you! Now let's see... I think I'll wish for the gift of insight. *cue foreboding music*

The nightwatcher - despite all logical precedent - provides you the awesome ability to bend the full range of the atmosphere's power to your will. Your anger summons thunderstorms, your sadness brings forth endless downpours or furious blizzards, your happiness stains the entire landscape with rainbows, etc. However, from now on you will always smell like either a malasalas, a chinese meat bun, or a tangerine. On rare occasions, you will smell like all three. Nothing you take, put on, or wash yourself with will ever stop you from smelling like food - or during those times when all three mix up - from smelling like a newly brewed headache. (This is the Dew talking.) I wish for the ability to conjure bathrooms out of nowhere. Just because.

Granted. You now have an identity-less metal piercing DOWN THERE filled with a near endless supply of wakefulness - which arguably makes tapping said reserve VERY, VERY AWKWARD since whenever you do so the first place it takes effect with is, er, well you know where... As for your bane... well, I guess that's bane enough. I wish for whatever the next poster's wish is - or at least that or a way to get the cast of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child to play for me in private.

Granted. BOON: You now possess the Talent to make people spill out their gut-wrenching secrets and various other things that they would never, EVER reveal while in their right mind simply by leading the conversation with a sob story of your own. Really useful power, mind you - except for the fact that actual people do in fact do this to get other people to spill their secrets in real life. Yours is just UPGRADED SYMPATHY. BANE: From now on, all your future forum signatures have to be written in braille. WISH: I wish that in this reality bad metaphors were lethal.

A few years back, I ventured into wattpad back when it wasn't so mainstream and I actually found moderate success in it - but back then, I wasn't serious about the stories I was writing. Now that I am, I'm having second thoughts about using wattpad as a medium, especially since I find the site difficult sometimes (too much hassle) and I need a place to put up or at least store my chapters so that I could go over them or have some of my beta-reader friends look over it without actually posting it. Blogging sites are foreign to me by the way so that's out of the picture. Basically, can somebody point me to a benevolent place for writers-in-need everywhere? I'm considering a few more sites out there but I'd really want someone's opinions on this first - I'm holding out on that hope that someone has actually find paradise out there and is willing to lead me to it. P.S. If this has already been discussed, please just point me to the appropriate thread instead.

True, but from what we've seen from Syl and her interactions with Kaladin regarding the honorblades, the spren seem to find the weapons too dangerous to use. Then again, maybe that's just Syl. Maybe not all the spren are like that. To continue the thread of the argument though, avoidance of responsibility is not the issue here. Hoid's actions can be inconsistent, but I feel that the honorblades are just something too big, too invested, too dangerous for even Hoid to be tampering with. Hiding the blades? I'd agree. Taking it for himself? That does not sound like Hoid at all. As far as we know, he took a bead of Lerasium, but he hasn't used it yet, hasn't he? Nor do I think will he ever. And besides, I have trouble imagining how, of all the spren that could possibly bond with Hoid, a Honorspren would. It's like - seriously? Anyway, we've strayed far enough from the topic. To the next posters: Do you think we'll be seeing surgebinders in the latter part of the series whose combination of surges do not match that of the KR?

Hey, so I'm actually indexing the results of everybody who posts here so that I might turn up with a table for the sharders out there with their corresponding orders. Since you tied with Lightweaver and Windrunner, I was going to ask; which would you rather choose to identify as?

First off, I can't help but laugh at just how far this thread has taken a detour - but to continue with the discussion, I have to say that although the act of making off with honorblades seems like a very Hoid-y thing to do, I don't think Hoid would go so far as to steal the blades. Hoid intervenes in every Cosmere series up to date, but even for Hoid such a thing seems to be A HUGE LEVEL UP from his usual subtle tips and pushing. Yes, I know Hoid has a larger than usual role in Stormlight Archive, but Hoid is also (in my opinion) infamous for being terribly avert to the concept of responsibility. I don't know - maybe I'm mistaken about this. Thoughts?

Neither of whom will survive for long IN the ocean. Letting loose a flock of pigeons during a 21 gun salute is like downing ibuprofen with 6 cans of Red Bull. P.S. I have no idea what in the world will come of this.

Hey, thank you for the criticism! Actually some portions of the quiz are still unfinished, but I did try my best to even out the points distribution at least. That question in particular was difficult but I do have to bring this up. The answers to the truth question were all meant to be unpleasant - it was a way of knowing which one of them were you willing to accept over the others; sorta like a compromise. But I am considering the suggestion of adding another choice, thank you. And by the way - I am happy that someone finally turned out to be a Windrunner!

You can now shapeshift... but it seems like anything you transform into always bears that odd fresh armpit smell.P.S. That isn't your bane. Here it is: Your presence ruins every kind of locking mechanism. Unlocked doors will lock the moment you step close to them, other people's phones cannot be accessed while you're around, chains and necklaces fall apart, etc. I wish... for a bag of Reese peanut-butter cups. (Sorry, your name and picture gave me a sudden craving for the things.)

Welcome to the forums! It's a good thing I got to you first before the bad spirits of the Dark Alley er, the rest of the welcome committee got to you! Here, have an upvote. In the interest of preserving other people's lives (and sanity), I suggest you decline ALL cookies. Not just the ones with raisins.

Haha, I know how you feel. One would think that being the maker of the quiz would allow me to manipulate my own results to reflect the Order I wanted. When I took it, I felt like I got slapped in the face:47% Willshaper 47% Edgedancer But that's okay! My brother was worse. I tricked him into taking the quiz and he kept saying he would be "a Skybreaker, just watch!" and I did keep on watching, up until the end when it showed him he was a 71% match for an Elsecaller. Nearly died laughing. Kaladin's rubbing off on you.

Though I do believe that some spren out there can provide differently paired surges - I don't believe it is possible for anyone out there, even Hoid, to gain access to all surges. Scadrial had physical condensations of Preservation's power in the form of Lerasium, not to mention that even when he was brain-dead he was at least not splintered. The only way I can think of to make the above possible is if Hoid can somehow usurp Honor's shard.But Hoid as Honor's shardholder? Hm... not sure about that.