sanderfan

When you and your friends spend all of lunch talking about Brandon Sanderson because they finally finished Mistborn. Now they're racing to see who can read all of the cosmere books first. It's the greatest.

When you finally get one of your friends to read Mistborn and as soon as they've finished they tackle you in the library to let you know. My friend was really excited.

Elend? (I'm not hating on Elend but he should've technically died at the end of WoA and he was as trouble maker.)

Granted. You go mad from all of the things you see. I wish my sister would finish reading Words of Radiance.

Granted. It's soulcast bacon, so by eating it you're a cannibal. Maybe... http://www.17thshard.com/forum/topic/ I wish I could get into Brandon Sanderson's class at BYU.

Granted. You have no access to alomantic metals. I wish I knew what Dalinar's boon and bane were.

Granted, but I turn you into a were-moose too. I wish I was completely human and no longer enslaved to Winter Cloud.

Granted. Your house has been fixed by me as a moose, and I did a really bad job. I wish I was human again.

Granted, but I trash your house and eat all of your food. I wish I was no longer a wolfhound.

Granted. You beat Chouta Connoisseur in a race of epic proportions, subjecting them to a life of slavery. Seeking revenge, Chouta Connoisseur assassinates you in your sleep. I wish I had a nice, well trained, alive wolfhound.

I can't find the source right now (I don't have my book with me to check) but I'm pretty sure we know that Lift turning food into stormlight is a boon from the nightwatcher, not a Nahel bond.

Granted. You turn into a purple giraffe with a digestion problem. I wish I could sleep in tomorrow.

Granted, you always feel like you need to sneeze, but can't. I wish I lived on the Purelake.

When you like to slide around on hardwood floors pretending you're an Edgedancer.

Granted, but you never get to read it. I wish I didn't have to go to school today.

Granted, but I choose not to act on said compelling feeling. I wish more people in my family liked reading so that we could theorize about SA together.

I am having a similar problem. I know I should be working on my NaNo, but... this is so much more fun.

When you're trying to make up your own magic system, but it just doesn't feel right unless it fits in with Realmatics.

Granted. You will slip on banana peels cartoon style every day for the rest of your life. I wish to always be perfectly warm, never too hot or too cold.

Granted. You never get to read Stones Unhallowed. I wish I could finish rereading Words of Radiance.

Granted, it's one degree warmer. I wish for a Shardlaptop, that has wifi everywhere.

Granted, but then you are made a Shin truthless, forced to murder thousands of innocent people. I wish for a talking, British, dinosaur, even if it's useless.

When you're walking around at school and you're thinking about how scandalous the Alethi would think all of the girls at your school (including yourself) are because their left hands are uncovered.

Granted, but you can't draw a decent circle to save your life and you don't have a non-rithmatist friend to help you out. I wish I was a Bendalloy misting with unlimited access to bendalloy.

Granted, but you can't speak normally anymore. Everything you say is in song. To the tune of "Call me Maybe" I wish I had a Ryshadium.