TwiLyghtSansSparkles

Wait. Is…is that canon? Well, head canon, I guess, since she's not a character per se... But….is it real? Or was it just something you made up? Did I miss reading that in her profile?

I like it. Kinda creepy, but it fits.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Lucentia implying he tore her arm off is a pretty good indicator that relationships aren't his strong suit.

I was going to ship it until I reached the "maybe I should get her a collar" bit. Now I don't think that's such a good idea.

Artist's rendering of Funtimes' new hairdo. Also from page 37.

I see this control console and a closet full of singing ties in his future. Ties that sing such classics as "The Song that Never Ends." And. They. Never. Stop.

Also, if Lightwards and Funtimes ever have a falling out, you know what's going to happen to the museum, don't you?

It's up to you. I think Mailliw is off (?) at the moment, so I'm not sure it's super important.

Are you sure? He really seemed to like that pink tank.

"Murdered? I have no reason to want that one dead, although he's nearly managed it several times himself I don't doubt, culminating with free falling into the ground just now, stupid man really trying to imitate an Epic with tech that was barely out of the prototyping stage. but don't worry he's not dead he'll just be... incapacitated for some time." A long pause followed those words, making Penumbra's intentions clear. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going out hunting. You'll see the Phoenix again soon I'm sure, and I might drop in to see you all again sometime." His wings flapped once, twice, three times, setting the wind to whipping about their faces and hair. Penumbra rose into the sky, but even in the light Nathan couldn't make out any distinguishable features. Nothing to indicate that Penumbra was anything more than a living shadow. He soared over the adjacent building and vanished from view. ​"That stupidhead!" Funtimes stamped her foot again. "I'm going to turn the museum into a giant flashlight, and I'm going to shine it on him!" Useful as that sounded, Nathan doubted the other Epics would take kindly to their base being transformed into an enormous flashlight. Then again, Lightwards had seemed pretty enthusiastic about his new bowler hat…. "We should be getting back." "But Purple Phoenix is still out there!" She was right. Nathan had seen him fall, seen his discarded bowler hat. Penumbra had given it to them. Something about the situation, about the way Phoenix had vanished right where Penumbra had appeared, seemed off to him. But no—they had entirely different powers. A living shadow and a man who exploded things in flashes of purple flame couldn't be the same person. "We'll set up a search party, then. You take two, I take two?" Sparks why did I suggest that, if I have to wander Portland without her…. Funtimes shook her head. "You're right. Safety in numbers." He tilted his head in the direction of Penumbra's retreat. "Let's follow."

"An agreement? You cannot reach an agreement with the shadow. I will spare you for now, I need to find other lights to extinguish today." "I told you so," the redneck muttered. "You said nothing of the sort." He grunted. "So you're no mind reader. Good to know." Nathan tried to think of a witty comeback, or even an angry one, but responses of any sort eluded him when the debris fell to the concrete with various clanks and shatters. The tendrils retreated, deepened the darkness around Penumbra, and spread into a pair of bat-like wings that flapped slowly at first, lifting Penumbra from the ground. He can fly. Wonderful. That is wonderful. "Given that you rushed over to the sight of Phoenix's falling body I assume you know him?" A shadow lifted a purple bowler hat and held it out for inspection. Funtimes put her hands to her cheeks as Nathan connected the purple explosion with the living shadow before them. ​"That's….Purple Phoenix….his hat…." She stamped her foot, her hands clenching into fists. "What did you do with that magnificent beard of a man, you stupid bogey?" "Did you mean the American definition or the British one, dear?" "Both!" "Appropriate, for our ally's murderer." He directed a glare at the shadow. "Why did you kill him? I'm assuming you don't need a reason, but if you have one, we would like it now."

"I am Penumbra." The voice was low and quivering, as though filtered through a dozen tin cans and glass bottles. "And this city will be taken under the shadow." As if to emphasize his point, rubble and broken glass were lifted by tendrils of darkness and held as projectiles. One reached directly through a ray of light. "I'm Doctor Funtimes, and this city will be turned into a giant smiley face!" Nathan cleared his throat. "What do you want from us, Penumbra? Perhaps we can reach an agreement." "You want to agree with a shadow?" the redneck muttered. "It's better than disagreeing with one," Nathan muttered back.

Beards can grow, dear Voidus. Beards can grow.

That hair, guys. That guy has some seriously gorgeous hair.

I see their relationship as more of a love triangle. Does Funtimes stay with Nathan, her one true love….or does she leave him for the Epic whose power is literally shiny?

Impossibly high, according to some. That was a part of it, too, I thought. That he does it because he likes it, and the power boost (real or perceived) is just a bonus.

I already ship Travelwards and Lighthound, which are the two couples who would probably kill each other the quickest in the actual game. On the other hand, I will probably never do a "Lightwards discovers Traveler's secret and loves him even more" story because that is almost as implausible as Nighthound developing a deep and abiding love for My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. I must not write those stories anyway, no matter how much fun they might be.

And a built-in love triangle.

I can't ship him without getting to know him! Once I get to know him a little, I can determine who he should be shipped with.

Shadows writhed and twisted as Nathan approached the alley. Being a Newcagoan, he knew that shadows were only supposed to do that in a poorly lit ballroom—or in the presence of a shadow Epic like Nightweilder. For a startling moment, he thought the Epic in the shadows might indeed be Nightweilder, but he was in Oregon and Nightweilder was in Newcago. Steelheart wouldn't waste one of his inner circle on a search-and-find mission for a single casino server. "He's here and he's so much fun!" Nathan took in the twisting shadows with a growing sense of dread. Nightweilder was many things. Terrible. Awe-inspiring. Powerful. Fun was not a term any Newcagoan in their right mind would apply to a shadow-weilding Epic of darkness. "Did you meet him?" She giggled. "Nope!" "So how do you know he's fun?" "He will be when we're through with him!" She lifted a few bits of garbage—a badly dented can, three smoldering wads of paper, a twisted plastic bottle—transforming them into tiny lanterns that glowed pink and green and blue. With a tap of her finger, the lanterns began to flicker like strobe lights. "The guy's a shadow Epic." The redneck made it not a question, but a statement. He already knew. Funtimes nodded eagerly. "And we're going at him with light." She nodded again. The redneck blinked. "Thought we wanted him to like us." "Who doesn't like blinky lights?" Nathan was more inclined to agree with the redneck, but he saw the wisdom in her plan. "If he's already angry, we'll have protection. If not, the lights are small enough to be tossed aside." Giggling again, Funtimes peered around the corner, then motioned for the others to follow. Tiny lanterns cast strange and colorful rays on the brick as they flickered.

I for one would not date someone who did that. I'm sorry, but that is where I draw the line. I always assumed it had more of a placebo effect—he thinks it works, so he keeps doing it. I wouldn't think it would actually do anything.

Better for him that Funtimes didn't discover them first and turn them all into exploding cupcakes, thus hastening the necromancer's fourth demise.

After Funtimes got to it: "Dear Lightwards, "I decided to blow up the world. Be a good necromancer and wait while I reduce everything you want to conquer to dust. PS: The entire museum is littered with bombs my imaginary friend spread out." LOL YOU CAN'T CATCH ME HAHAHAHA :D :D <3 <3 <3

Nathan had servants. He almost wished he hadn't used that term. It applied, true. And while calling the four people he and Funtimes had chosen special friends or party animals or people who won't become zombies anytime soon might have been more accurate, it wouldn't keep them safe. Servant was a safe term. Many Epics had servants, and those servants were permitted to live so long as they were useful. But as Nathan tried to think of a few tasks he could dole out, he was unable to find anything he needed accomplished that he couldn't accomplish himself. He could clean his own toilets, cook his own food, wash his own clothes. He had four servants with nothing to do. "So what do we do now, master?" The redneck, who still held his empty rifle, leaned on the word master so heavily it sounded like a curse. Oh great, now I'll have to slap him or something. He was saved by a sound from a nearby alleyway—a rush of air accompanied by a loud "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH—KABOOM!" A cloud of purple dust issued from the point of impact. Funtimes clapped her hands. "Let's go see!" She went first, skipping toward the alley, and the kilted Darth Vader rode after, his bagpipes belching flame. Nathan herded the other three from behind, though they obeyed without a word. What could he order them to do? Conceivably: anything. Any task from scrubbing floors to hand-feeding a saber-tooth tiger to jumping out a window for his enjoyment was within the realm of possibility. The second and third options turned his stomach; the first made him feel uncomfortable. He had no right to tell them what to do. Not when he could complete their tasks himself—should do them himself. The only thing separating him from them was a neon tie and a duster. Funtimes poked her head from around a corner. "Doctor AWE-some-sauce! We FOUND something!" "What'd you find?" She giggled. "Come and see!" Suppressing a sigh with a chuckle and a shake of his head, Nathan led the rest of their servants into the alley.