TwiLyghtSansSparkles

I think Joe mentioned a Reckoners cell in Portland, but an Alice/Nathan team-up would be awesome. I'd imagine it taking place after either he and Funtimes have a falling-out (unlikely, given his personality and her reason for stealing him) or after she thinks he's dead. That would send her into scary mode. Imagine: a tiny woman in a rainbow dress with glitter in her hair and an icy grin on her lips, singing a song about heartbreak as she turns every object within a three-foot radius of Lightwards and Nighthound into venomous snakes and the drinking fountain into a fountain of liquid bleach as one of them leans in for a sip…. Or, like Edge just awesomely suggested, Funtimes could be the Prof to their Reckoners. It'd be hard to talk her out of getting them to wear crazy uniforms, though. Kobold, I think. I for one await Lightwards' reaction to his VP's speech with eager anticipation.

Wow. First of all, I'm flattered that you guys seem to think I'm a better/more detailed planner than I actually am. You know that saying, "No plan survives the battlefield?" Well, in my case, it's more, "No plan is ever completed before TwiLyght reaches the battlefield because she gets too excited and just starts writing before she loses the idea." Reformed Nighthound….if you think you could carry it, it'd be interesting to see. Very strange, though. Strange in…well, in the words of the Newsboys, "Dull as dirt, you can't assert/ The kind of light that might persuade/ A strict dictator to retire/ Fire the army, teach the poor origami." But I for one would pay good money to see Nighthound surrounded by children, teaching them how to fold a paper crane. A crisis could easily come when the other factions see the Empire of Light and Yak Meat growing in number, and not just from Lightwards' recruiting. Think about it: You have two areas you can live in Portland—Thoughttown or the Empire. Thoughttown has utilities, but also a stringent entrance exam, and if at any point you fail a subsequent exam, you're essentially abandoned in the middle of downtown Portland. And then there's the Empire which, although run by a megalomaniac who could very well kill you and turn you into a zombie, has dinosaurs and a right-hand woman who is more likely to give you free yak meat than she is to kill you. Entrance exam <<<<<<<< yak meat. That's a serious threat right there. Finally, as far as Nathan goes, I have no real master plan. ("No plan ever survives TwiLyght because she sees the shiny chance to write and runs off distracted before the plan can have its say.") Immediately, I was going to have the guy in the wife beater teach him how to shoot, at Funtimes' urging, probably in the privacy of their cottage. If she can't swing that, they'd use the "he's new to this whole Epic thing" as an excuse. Later on, though, I could see a couple of things happening. 1. He remembers that he told Alice to think, tracks her down, and she teams up with him and the guy in the wife beater. Any sort of serious team-up would probably happen after his cover was blown, as the Epic whisperer, the thinking zombie, and the last surviving member of the NRA wander through a mostly-destroyed Portland to take down the most powerful Epics there. A team-up with Joe/Sightline would probably happen here as well. 2. His cover is blown, he's back on the table in a white robe, Funtimes intervenes at either the last minute or when it's already too late, and Lightwards and Nighthound have themselves a scary new enemy. (Of course, if Nathan is killed, you must know up front that you would be subjected to an unknown number of posts from Funtimes' perspective. ) 3. He becomes so good at pretending to be an Epic that while some might suspect something, they never guess, and he uses his position in the Empire to help the common people. This, I think, is the most likely if Lightwards and Nighthound believe his cover story. It seems like they do. 4. He gets powers. This….while it could be likely, I don't know if I'd go for it. If it did happen, I see him becoming frightened and disturbed at the changes Calamity brings to his personality, and barely using his powers as a result. If forced into it, I'd imagine he'd become something of a recluse, too scared of himself to manage more than a few interactions with Funtimes, at the very most.

Voidgaze looks like Santa! …. I was going to ask if Funtimes could sit in her lap, but given a certain Nighthound's—ah—tendencies toward double entendres, I think that would be a bad question. Yes. Yes, it does.

o.O O.o Um….. I was thinking "potential for fun" or "potential to spill barbecue sauce on your shirt" or, if you want to go really dark, "potential to pour barbecue sauce into the eyes of your enemies and blind them." But your option sounds more like something Nighthound would assume.

"A beard that fantastic cannot die! And if we save the guy, too—well, that's just icing on the cake." Plot twist: The hat is actually a shapeshifting Epic with mind control powers, and it's trying to get PP killed by hypnotizing everyone else into staring at the fantastic hat instead of helping. To be completely honest, I'm not entirely sure where I got the idea for that….or how potential and Tennessee barbecues connect. Then again, it's Funtimes we're talking about.

Oops. Maybe he could get a couple pterodactyls to give him a lift diwn?

It covers national defense, provisions, and entertainment all on one glorious ticket. And if Funtimes offered everyone who voted for them a bowler hat--well! They just might run unopposed next time around!

You know, I don't even think they needed to seize power the way they did. If Lightwards and Funtimes had run on the "dinosaurs and free pancakes" ticket, they would've won in a landslide.

It's Portland. That's all I can really say.

Oh, it was definitely by choice. He has been spotted in Portland before. I like to think he's made it this long because no other Epic has known what to do with him.

Funtimes has just given her speech. And....well....there it is.

The museum reached what seemed to be the intended height, and stopped. It didn't lurch or shudder, but came to a slow, even and gentle halt in the sky. Funtimes giggled. "Let's go see let's go see!" Hand in hand, they walked to the nearest window. Nathan dared not let go of hers. He trembled, wondered dimly if she could feel it, and decided it did not matter. If it mattered to her, she would have let go already. At the window, Nathan caught his breath. Portland lay spread out below them. Skyscrapers glittered in dim sunlight, roads twisted like black rivers, and trees sprang up between everything, like moss on stone. The blue of a river he couldn't name flanked their territory. Clouds surrounded their fortress, drifting here and there across the city. "Wow." That was all he could say. Funtimes squealed in delight. "It's so pretty!" He had to agree. Nathan could have admired the view forever. He might have, had a litter mounted between two pterodactyls not floated past before it began its descent. Even that may not have been enough to tear him away, but a certain necromancer was on that litter. Nathan didn't know what he would do, what he could do, but he felt he had to be there on the ground to do it. "Should we follow him?" With a giggle, they were on the ground. Nathan was not surprised to see the blood covering the grass and concrete. He was not shocked to see the zombie with torn and bloodied clothes on the playground. And he was not thrown for a loop by Lightwards' pompous declarations about the Empire of Light. He was surprised when Doctor Funtimes stepped to Lightwards' side and began a speech of her own. "People of the Oregano." She had one hand wrapped around Nathan's and the other in the air, index finger pointed skyward. "The Great Noodly One smiles upon you today, because this is the day it rains pancakes!" A wave of her hand, and the leaves of several trees became pancakes that fell on a very confused crowd. "Pancakes are amazing," she continued, "and so is my boyfriend!" She pulled him into a kiss. Nathan could see Lightwards stiffen, but he ignored it. Doctor Funtimes was a far better speaker than he was, sudden make out sessions or no. "He's the Traveler. I'm Doctor Funtimes, and you're all part of our Empire thingy. That means you get free yak meat on Saturdays!" As playground equipment and fallen branches became enormous platters of yak meat, a voice from the crowd shouted, "But it's Wednesday." She gasped in pleasure and clapped her hands. "Wednesday too! Everyday is yak meat day because you're....you're beautiful." Was he mistaken, or were those tears in her voice? "All of you....so beautiful." Yes. Those were definitely tears. "I look around," she continued, her voice steadier, "and I see potential. You have potential! You have potential! You have....a nice T-shirt! It's like a Tennessee barbecue, there's so much potential!" The tears were back, and Lightwards looked irritated. Before he could talk himself out of it, Nathan addressed the crowd. "What my darling Doctor means is that many of you here have the potential to be useful. To us. As we prefer servants with a, shall we say, wider range of facial expressions..." He cast a sidelong glance at the newborn zombie. "Only those with so much potential it literally moves her to tears will serve us and our dinosaurs, rather than be served to them." He forged ahead, pointing at one of the people Funtimes had indicated. "You. And you. And...." "You!" She was pointing at two men. One held an assault rifle in a firm grip, a scowl on his face and a dirty white tank top on his back. The other wore a kilt and a Darth Vader mask, a bagpipe in his hands as he sat atop a unicycle. "Them? Darling, are you sure?" "They have so much potential!" She jumped and clapped her hands, squealing in glee. "So much so much so much!" "All right," he said, waving them to where their fellow servants stood. The unicycle man did so immediately. The other clutched his weapon. "And if we don't?" Nathan wanted to shake him. The choice was so clear. "Then we'll feed you to the dinosaurs. Or you can become a Warrior. I honestly don't care." He turned away, heart pounding. He did care. It was between life and pride, and only one choice was sensible. "That rifle of yours won't do much against a T-Rex." Scowling, the man emptied his magazine, dropping the bullets to the ground, and joined the others. Not everyone would survive. Not everyone could. But maybe, just maybe, these few would be spared.

Who needs the Force when you have Funtimes?

So if they're in a floating fortress, could there possibly be a Star Wars type battle sequence when other Epics acquire planes (or find someone who can fly) with the museum as the Death Star?

The more I plan her speech the better it gets. I have to write this thing. What say you and who's next?

I'm already drafting it in my head. Take the most scattered, sentimental Miss America speech you can think of, and multiply it by a room full of easily distracted toddlers.

Funtimes included? Are you sure that's a good idea?

Me neither. We have dinosaurs....and stuff.... We could explore the museum and set up areas for the dinosaurs vs planning and administration areas.

It's in the air, but I left it vague as to whether it rose at the end of his speech, or as he was terrorizing the populace.

Between the increasingly loud tremors beneath the museum and the roars and chirps of dinosaurs returning to life, Nathan didn't hear Lightwards' orders to Nighthound. But he could guess when he tore out the front door, tipping Phteven's bowler like some deranged cowboy from a drug-induced haze. Nathan pressed himself against the wall, but Funtimes laughed as the dinosaur leaped over her head and onto the sidewalk with a loud thud. Two more dinosaurs followed. He didn't need to ask where he was going. He already knew. Before Nathan could process the implications, the museum gave the most violent shake of all. Something below cracked, giving way to a loud humming noise. His stomach lurched the way it did when an elevator in need of repair moved up a floor. He was knocked sideways, grabbing at the information desk to remain upright. Funtimes stood, dusted off her hands, and clapped them. She laughed, jumped in place, and pranced over to wrap her arms around him. "Are we….flying?" She laughed and jumped, still hugging him. "This is so amazing! We're flying and it's going to float and everybody's going to see the pretty colors!" Nathan gave a small laugh of his own. "That's….pretty awesome." Funtimes stood back, hands on hips in mock annoyance. "Pretty awesome? It's fantasmagorical! We have flying dinosaurs!" Flying dinosaurs. Ensconced in a floating fortress, the people below safe from all but those that had followed Nighthound. Moreover, he was safe, so long as Lightwards believed Funtimes' story about his powers. Nathan laughed and hugged her again, wishing he could do something about the helpless people below. He had to keep up appearances. This was Annexation Day, after all. It was Annexation Day, and he was one of them.

While making this face, right? Please tell me he's making this face.

Is it? I thought Edge was next.

Funtimes will carpet bomb them both to oblivion. Or the nearest carpet store. Dinosaurs, bowler hats, and terrible beards.