TwiLyghtSansSparkles

Okay, remember how Kobold said he wanted Darkrose's weakness to be a specific cupcake recipe, but he couldn't figure how an Epic could possibly be scared of a cupcake? Well, I have the answer.

Kobold, would you happen to have the Darkrose pony and Sam's cutie mark?

(Part two of the double date for me and Edgedancer.) The woman in the dress sat up, gently disentangling herself from the kittens that swarmed all around her, and clapped her hands. “Double date! I love dates and I love double things so that sounds amazing!” In a second she was on her feet and had wrapped her arms around first Shiny Sparkle’s shoulders, then Autumn’s. “I’m Doctor Funtimes and that’s my boyfriend, Traveler! Do you like muffins?” “Of course I like muffins, especially those with sprinkles on them. Anyway, I’m Shiny Sparkle and and this is my girlfriend Autumn Glass, not an Epic. Although, her cuteness could be a power on its own. Where did you get that dress, it’s wonderful.” Doctor Funtimes giggled. “Made it. I could make your shirt all prettyful, too.” Shiny Sparkle hummed as she considered it for a moment, “Thanks, but I like these clothes as they are. I do however have a dress at home that could use some work. Autumn, do you think it would suit me?” Not an Epic. Another Epic, dating another not-an-Epic, and she just tossed it out there. “Hi, this is my girlfriend. I’m an Epic but she’s not.” He continued petting his kitten, wondering if he should say so, if he could…. Forget it. If there was an Epic who didn’t care, he could risk it. “Uh, yeah. I’m not an Epic, either. Sort of. I...um...cute kitten.” Sparks. That could have gone better. With a shower of color descending around her Shiny Sparkle teleported next to Funtimes’ boyfriend and gave him a clap on the back. “There are a lot of people running around with awesome names, aren’t there? You got a pretty nice calico there too. Have you seen a bengal by any chance?” Shiny Sparkle looked around and found one standing a bit away. She teleported next to it and started petting it. “Autumn and I meet during a mutant panda invasion. What’s your story?” The cat cuddled her hand and gave a soft purr. “Newcago,” Funtimes said, throwing her arms around Nathan’s shoulders. Nathan was too relieved she hadn’t been angered to add anything. “We met in Newcago and then we came here and there’s kitties!” She drew back with a long gasp, covering her mouth with both hands. “We’re the only ones here who know about all the cute kitties! We should tell everyone and give kitties to all the little children!” Nathan envisioned traipsing through the streets, passing out kittens from a basket, trailed by Epics who would rather kill kittens than cuddle them. “Mutant pandas, huh? That sounds….interesting.” Funtimes was undeterred. “Kitties! We should help other people see the kitties!” She bounced up and down. “Let’s do it do it do it now!” Shiny Sparkle hugged the bengal cat to her chest, “I kinda brought Autumn here to pick up a cat. Raise the stakes in the relationship a bit, you know. Maybe we could do go around afterwards.” Funtimes looked briefly disappointed, but then she clapped her hands again, found the fluffy grey kitten from before, and presented him to Shiny Sparkle. “This is Sparticus Fluffius III.” “Sparticus Fluffius III is an adorable little kitten.” Shiny Sparkle held up her bengal to Autumn, “How about we call him Liam?”

The thread is open as long as anyone is willing to ship characters with one another.

Curse you, Quota. I hate you so much, Quota. Hmmm…..I think we covered all the crackships.

Oh, no. I've seen those commercials. I've seen soooo many of those commercials that "Cocoa for Cuckoo Puffs" actually makes more sense to me.

Excellent ideas, both of you. What do you think of a love triangle? A fluffy, smushy-faced love triangle?

Waldo isn't the sort of ship I'd go for—I'm not exactly attracted to prehistoric lizards—but I'm happy they're happy. So long as they stay far away from where I live. Sorry, but a bloodthirsty dinosaur is kind of a safety hazard. I'll mail them some chocolates, though. (Who could Protector Pug be shipped with? )

You mean like the one I just sent you?

Two shiny-loving Epics. Two justifiably unnerved vanillas. One shop filled with kittens.

Oddly enough, the universe didn't seem to mind. Edit: Yeah, let's flip a coin.

That could be adorable. Or they could join Funtimes and Nathan in their abandoned shop filled with kittens.

O.o o.O O.O ….. I'm going to go back to imagining Nathan and Funtimes' date now.

Nathan didn't know how she did it. If he had to hazard a guess, he would say that it was a curse of some kind. Escaping Newcago had caused the Spirit of Random Insanity to follow him around, engineering the most ridiculous situations for its own amusement. And then resuming possession of his girlfriend before she could get too sane. Whatever the reason, Doctor Funtimes' last teleportation jump had landed them smack in the middle of an abandoned shop filled with kittens. Funtimes was on the floor in a second, letting out a long squeal of delight. "Look at them all! There's a black one and a white one and—​great googly moogly that one is so fluffy!" She lifted the fluffy one in her arms and petted it. "I will call you Fluffius Sparticus III, and I will hold you and love you forever!" Sir Fluffius looked like an oversized lint ball with an impossibly adorable pair of golden eyes. "Um, Doctor?" "Uh huh?" He did his best to ignore a calico that had perched on his Converse, gazing up at him with bright blue eyes. "Shouldn't we figure out who put them here? You know, if it's a trap or something?" "What sort of meanie meanieface would make a trap out of kittens?" she cooed, both to him and Sir Fluffius. Nathan opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it. He couldn't think of a single Epic who would fill a shop with kittens and leave while the kittens still lived—save for the curly-haired matter manipulator making faces at Sir Fluffius. Another kitten had curled up on her skirt and slept, purring, while a brown one batted at the laces of her Converse. The calico on his shoe mewed at him. He gazed down at the kitten, and those blue eyes gazed back. A smile quirked his lips. It really was cute, in a way he hadn't seen for years. There simply weren't a lot of kittens in Newcago. Then again, if there was an Epic on his way…. Nathan decided he didn't care. He scooped up the calico and stroked its silky fur, his smile widening as the kitten began purring. It was Valentine's Day. He was in a shop filled with kittens. And if some Epic decided to vent his anger on those helpless animals—well, his girlfriend could just trap that Epic in tar. Funtimes was curled on her side now, laughing as Sir Fluffius batted at her curly hair.

Good question. What sort of terrifying date would Shiny Sparkle come up with?

I'm all for it.

Neverthere…and…Numnums….I….eloping….? Terror upvote. Is there such a thing as G-rated fanservice? I think there is. I'm going to go write some to balance out the Fan Disservice.

Team Leader: Twilight Sparkle. She's a little neurotic, but her brilliance is well established in the show. Her knowledge of obscure topics will almost certainly come in handy when facing a zombie horde, and who knows? She might just know the spell to reverse the zombification process. Brawler: Rose Tyler as Bad Wolf. She disintegrated millions of Daleks with a wave of her hand. And the best part? She kept her humanity even as she took on godlike power, meaning she would be extremely unlikely to betray. Find a way to stabilize her, and she would be the best brawler around. Weapons Expert: Magneto from the X-Men movies and comics. If this is an apocalypse situation, he'll be convinced that mutants are in definite danger of extinction, and will be more inclined to team up with ordinary people. Additionally, his ability to control metals through magnetism manipulation will allow him to create projectiles out of almost anything. Who needs to worry about ammo when Magneto can just send the gun hurtling through the air at the same speed? Brains: Professor X from the X-Men movies and comics. He won't be much good in a fight, being in a wheelchair and all, and his telepathy will also be somewhat useless against zombies whose brains are in various states of decay. But in any apocalypse scenario, there is always the question of which strangers are hostile and which are friendly, and where the nearest camp of survivors is located. Even without Cerebro, Professor X would be invaluable as the team member who can immediately deduce which of our fellow survivors will be helpful and which are planning to murder us for our supplies. Medic: The Doctor. Okay, so he's not a real doctor, but in more than one episode, he's shown himself as a capable medic. Plus, he's lived for several thousand years, so he'll have far more medical knowledge than any human medic. Speed Fighter: Quicksilver, also from the X-Men movies and comics. You can't beat someone whose super-speed allows him to literally change the path of bullets, make guards punch themselves in the face, and have time to taste the sauce flying through the air to boot. Mascot: Morgan Freeman, just so we can have his voice cheering us on. Guy Who Dies First: Can't think of a better candidate than Nighthound. Especially if our mascot (see above) gets to narrate his death.

Sales guys who have never done my job and think they're qualified to lecture me on it. That is all.

This is a thread for all of our random insanity—the stuff that doesn't fit in the Question thread, that is. DO NOT take any of this seriously. While there might be a few nods to this thread in canon reading and understanding this thread is not essential to reading and understanding the other What Happened In…threads. Currently up: Whatever the heck you want. I expect many ponies.

"And then, I'll destroy your loved ones. It'll be devastating. Like an army of fat men rampaging through a city block filled with nothing but all-you-can-eat buffets." "Um, wouldn't they get full at some point?" If Steelslayer didn't destroy Newcago on his own, his bad similes would definitely do the job. Apparently.

It's definitely my headcanon. Seriously, my brother needs to get an account here so he can share his theories a little more efficiently. Maybe he would get Steelheart's powers, but they would be strengthened by his bad similes. For instance, if he decided to use his energy beams on someone, it would kill them; but if he said "I'm going to roast you like a carton of ice cream slowly melting as a fat man clutches it to his chest" before using it, said target would be obliterated.

As promised on Friday, here is the first pony comic of the day. Inspired by this Super Bowl commercial.

I'm more inclined to vote for a "dream sequence where Backtrack witnesses the Deathgale scene."