Kobold King

Autumn/Sparkle and Nathan/Funtimes. The two ships that are so bubbly and so glittery, they almost make you forget they're entirely non-consensual and based entirely out of mortal terror. (These are adorable nonetheless.)

Stare into the face of madness. Anything else we should write before Valentine's Day is up?

"I'm CUCKOO for Cocoa Puffs! ...Or on second thought, maybe I'm just cuckoo in general." (Am I the only person who's seen one of those commercials? If so, I apologize for making insane references that no one else gets. )

You'd be fooling no one. It's quite obvious that none of us cares to preserve sanity any more.

Waldo: an OTP one hundred and thirty million years in the making. (Frank from Men in Black? )

Aldo/Wes ship is up. And I just realized that their portmanteau couple name is Waldo.

A raptor and a mammal stood on a hillside. Before them stretched the stone and metal structures of the mammal's territory. The mammals no longer held their territory. They fled before the alpha mammal's supreme pack, calling out in terror as they died. The reptiles led by the alpha mammal were thorough predators, and few of the fleeing mammals escaped. The raptor was not with the alpha mammal at the moment. At the moment he stood watching the carnage, standing motionless beside a mammal that confused him like no other. It bore hair on its face above its mouth, greased into a thin line. It bore a soft silken crest atop its head, a black cylindrical shape that the mammal could detach to tip towards passing females. A flowing membrane trailed from its back--fins of some kind, perhaps? How very strange. The strangest part of all was when the mammal spoke. "What do you think, Wes my good fellow?" the mammal spoke quietly, putting out an arm and patting the raptor on the back. The raptor never understood the words, but would give a quiet hiss in response. "Smoke in the air. People screaming," the mammal continued, his voice wavering with excitement. "Destruction on a scale Portland has never seen before. The combined forces of the Mesozoic Era, all under the thumb of our Emperor. Oregon may not last to see next week." A crowd of the running mammals rushed past, dying loudly as an enormous reptilian predator crushed them underfoot and feasted upon them voraciously. Strangely, a mammal stood upon this one's back--while the raptor couldn't smell it, his eyes could make out its form in exquisite detail. It was one of the female mammals, standing on the top of the dinosaur's head with its arms stretched out, letting out a cry the raptor had come to associate with delight. Strange. How very strange. "That'd be Neverthere," the mammal by his side continued, mouth curling as he showed teeth. In a raptor this would be a prelude to eating or killing. In the mammal, it seemed to show contentment. "She's a fine enough gal. Pretty face. Charming personality. Good figure, very nice legs. Somehow, though... she just can't enthrall me as much as you have." The raptor made no reply. His eyes slowly turned to look at the mammal, but snapped back to the destruction ahead. "Sorry," the mammal said with a cough. "Too forward of me, I suppose. But I just feel you should know... you're the most marvelous being I've met in Oregon. Fascinating. Stoic. Eyes that glint with suppressed with and cleverness. You are a beast worthy of the world, but kept as a servant." The raptor let out another rumbling hiss, agreeing with the statement despite not understanding it. "You could come with me, you know," the mammal went on, eyes pressed towards the horizon. "I have an assignment in Gresham to attend to... but you could accompany me. Lightwards wouldn't mind if I took you. You could leave him beside and travel with someone who actually appreciates your talent. You could be... my assistant." The mammal turned his head towards the raptor, his face contorted in what may have been concern. "If you want to, of course. Don't feel obligated to do anything for little old me. But you should know that I'm happy to have you. We could see the world together, and hunt however much you like along the way." With those vocalizations, the mammal checked the band of metal around his wrist. "It's time for me to go. Follow if you wish." And with that, he turned and strode away, his back to the dying mammal city. The raptor stood motionless for quite some time, staring out over the annihilation his comrades were wreaking. But finally, the mammal's words reverberating inexplicable in his mind, he turned and followed the finned mammal. He may not have understood the words the mammal spoke, but her understood affection. And an affection like they shared hadn't been seen in this world in a very long time. It was time to show the world what a mammal and a raptor united could do.

Potentially setting them up for a double date with Koschei and Mobius.

I support that. I'm contemplating an Aldo/Wes scene, so we might need it.

The mere fact that Neverthere considers looks "like that" to ever be on the table is enough to make me want to burn out my own eyeballs, and then lobotomize a large section of my cortex. Nonetheless, I'll be upvoting that post as soon as I can.

That also sounds like it sucks. I'd give all you guys upvotes as a symbol of sympathy... but my quota is exhausted by your collective awesomeness over the rest of the forum.

I'd friend him. "I'm going to hit you like a titanium sledgehammer smashing through a wall made entirely of porridge. I bet it'll make the same sound, too." --The High Epic Steelslayer. "There's no kill like overkill." --Calamity

Calamity will open not with the Reckoners assassinating an Epic, but them chasing down an Epic and forcing him to take a Snickers. Said Epic will immediately switch sides and help with the conflict, until eventually Calamity itself has been proffered one of these delicious candy bars. (That comic is awesome. :D And just because I can, let me give you a fourth grinning smiley: ) You'd be interested in taking part, then? Me too.

Awesome! My ideal team: Team Leader (also medic): Kaladin Stormblessed, from The Way of Kings. I can't think of anyone better suited to leading a team of survivors through a post-apocalyptic landscape. Brawler: Vin, from Mistborn: The Final Empire. Her appearance doesn't bring a heavy brawler to mind, but the devastation she could wreak across a horde of shambling undead is more than enough to earn her this spot. The one downside I can see is that finding metals for her could prove to be difficult. Weapons Expert: Ranette, from The Alloy of Law. If she can design a plethora of firearms and ammunition capable of going head to head with Allomancers, than she'd be the best woman for the job when it comes to improvising weapons capable of cracking zombie skulls. Brains: This is a tough one. I think I'd ultimately go with Jonathan Phaedrus, alias Prof, from Steelheart. His skill at intricate planning would be immensely valuable for the team, not to mention a few other benefits he could bestow on the team. One major issue is that I'm really not sure how well he'd get along with our Team Leader, Kaladin. Speed Fighter: David Charleston, from Steelheart. Quick on his feet, a quick thinker, and a crack shot with any rifle. His skill with varying types of analogies would also make his presence on the team priceless. Mascot: Syl from The Way of Kings is most likely to fill this role, assuming she accompanies Kaladin. Though Stick would also make a lovable (and portable) mascot. Guy Who Dies First: Nighthound, from the Reckoners RPG elsewhere on the forum. I almost want to write a fanfic about this now.

TwiLyghtSansSparkles' brother, I think, speculated that if David were to become an Epic he would receive Steelheart's powers. He'd essentially become the very thing he's long hated in all of its twisted glory, and best of all he'd get to keep the name "Steelslayer." It's the headcanon of TwiLyghtSansSparkles' brother, it's the headcanon of TwiLyghtSansSparkles herself, and it's mine. Though I harbor a lingering fondness for any proposed superpowers that tie into his propensity for bad analogies.

Granted. Your body is taken over by the spirit of an insane homicidal clown. You can only watch through eyes that used to be yours as your body smears itself with clown paint and embarks on a psychotic crime spree, laughing through every second of it. I wish to know without a shadow of a doubt whether the UFOs I saw one night were alien spacecraft.

Sorry to hear that. Hope things start getting a little less stressful on you. Yikes. I don't know much about your specific difficulties or situation, so there's little I can say in terms of advice. Here's hoping you avoid breakdowns in the future--I wish you a delightful existence and a peaceful frame of mind, and if you need to vent or rant or talk to achieve either of those... Well, just remember that my PM box is always--

I got only as far as the Tenth Doctor and Vash the Stampede before I ran into that difficulty.

Strange. I get the feeling that the superhero you posted is some sort of ingenious pun. And thanks. This one was hard to make. And I KNEW I was forgetting important and adorable ships. Another time, perhaps. Well. That was... something. And by "something," I mean a brilliantly well-written Deathgale post that I will upvote once I stop trembling and once Quota releases me from his grip. It only now occurs to me how weird it will be for there to be a Reckoners RPG thread that I'm NOT posting on. A thread that shows up on the page, without the cheerful symbol telling me where I've been. ...Does anyone need a quick vanilla cannon fodder POV there? Because I'm open.

I'd do it... but my computer has reached such a high Pony Concentration Index (PCI) that I fear trying to load Zoi's creator right now could cause a meltdown.

The only ship I forgot now is Quota x Death. Which I'm regretting now. Still, though. There are far worse ways to kill two hours than by making romantic pony comics.

It's not like I'd... aww heck, I'm finished and I'm posting now.

It's not as if I'm deliberately delaying the comic for another thirty minutes because of Voidus' quiet judgement. Most certainly not. And it's definitely not as if I'd only forgotten Aldo/Wes--if I did forget Aldo/Wes--because there was an entirely unrelated Epic/dinosaur ship already included in the original comic. Absolutely not.

And it's not as if I'd somehow forgotten about Aldo/Wes and am now scrambling to add a panel for them before I post.

If I had made such a thing--which I may or may not have done--there's no telling whether I'd post it tonight or wait till Valentine's Day tomorrow. I mean, it's not like I have the link open on Dumpyourphoto right now. As I type this.