Kobold King

Steven Spielberg is probably the No. 1 reason why we'll never have real dinosaurs. (You forget that Möbius had jobs in the service industry. She'd never stoop to such cruelty. ) To be serious myself--don't worry about it. All's well that ends well, and I hold fewer hard feelings than a sentient bar of soap that's been raised by pugs. Which is to say, none at all.

Kyle Lawrence is a fairly normal teenager. Born in Snowey 18 years ago, with accounts on a few websites. Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, Wikipedia, etc. It's through those accounts that he posted images of the town's destruction, and ultimately, the first image of the Chargers with their hostages. There's nothing conspicuously linking him with the event, aside from being a victim. The Chargers did not confiscate any phones--not even Kyle's. I will include additional info received from the tapping in the next major update, though it's probable that most of the phones in the building have low or dead batteries by now. Since I'm planning possibilities for the next major update now, how many of you are in favor of sending an assault team to strike HWTBTS and free the hostages? How many of you are in favor of deploying a low-frequency sonic weapon?

May I presume that you're one woman who will not be patronizing a real-life Jurassic Park if it opens? I could go for some ice cream myself.

Nothing of note from the satellites. The elephants have finished clearing the town of people or major buildings, and those that are still in the open have taken to standing leisurely around the barn. A couple have even taken off their armors and appear to be having mud baths. You received no visual info from Kyle's phone. Your information was limited to what was spoken over the line. (Also, the speculation and sheer quality of ideas on this thread is astounding. Some of you are right, and those who aren't are geniuses nonetheless. Keep up the good work, guys. )

All governments are to defer to you and your orders, as the Foundation is an international organization established by a UN charter. The United States military and police forces will almost always follow your instructions to the letter. The grumbles and trumpets you've recorded thus far are more complex than the sounds elephants make on Earth--which is to be expected, just as the sounds humans make are more complex than the hoots of chimpanzees. They definitely speak a language of their own, but you have been thus far incapable of translating it.

I wouldn't say it's Backtrack of you at all. I respect your personal quibbles here, and for your benefit, I'll certainly steer clear of the coily jawed fish of weirdness or other things that freak you or other players out too much. I... I've said this before, but I'm an anarchist at heart. I think rules outright prohibiting snakes or spiders from the RP might be a bit extreme, considering severed heads in boxes, forced stripping, and graphic descriptions of murder have all been included thus far. But I'll stress again, I am nothing if not a loyal Questionaire and friend of yours. I'll abide by any and all decisions or preferences you see fit to make known.

Well, part of my reasoning for considering Titanoboa was the very reasoning that prompted you to ban it: the fear factor. Intimidation is Lightwards' primary mode of offence considering his zombie limit, so I was thinking that resurrecting the most terrifying creatures he has access to would make perfect sense for his character. But of course I'll abide by any decision you make. You don't even need to pull rank on me; if snakes, fish, or giant sea scorpions make you too uncomfortable, I'll avoid them. EDIT: Minor rephrasing to avoid sounding hostile or accusatory, because I am most certainly neither.

Can we replace the alligators in the Disco Ending with Titanoboa? I first read about Titanoboa in an issue of Discovery Magazine, which I read while accompanying my mother to see her midwife a few years ago. I thus have a mixture of nostalgic fondness and mortal terror for that snake.

I was seriously considering a Titanoboa, actually. Sometimes. Not in a while, and I usually only read the nature-related articles.

Does 3:30 in the afternoon sound reasonable? Assuming you spent the time between 2:00 and 3:00 tapping the cellphone for an hour. I haven't heard any speculation on what the whirring machinery sounds from the barn where, by the way.

Truly you are a wise GM. Though if your forbid teratorns, I could always just use pterodactyls or Haast's eagle. What website, if I might ask? Cracked?

Now why would you be reading about short-faced bears, teratorns, and eurypterids I wonder?

None of your telescopes have detected any form of non-human spacecraft.

"Yes."

Regrettably, I couldn't find a picture of a pug hugging a meerkat. But I did find this-- To paraphrase Baymax... will adorable animal pictures improve your emotional state? Also, bearwhals need to happen. I don't even care what universe. They just need to happen.

Unfortunately I can't reach through the computer screen and hug you. But I can hug you with my heart through this image: You should change your settings so that you'll receive notifications whenever the Question thread gets posted on. That's where nearly all my notifications this morning came from. True. It might amuse those who read both this and the WTCHF thread to know that Kyle Lawrence--the teenager being held hostage by elephant terrorists--is a younger cousin of Steve Lawrence from San Francisco. Bad luck runs in the Lawrence family, through all parallel universes.

Not many satellites were taking pictures of Snowey before the pictures were released online. However, Foundation analysts are able to determine that the weapons carried by the War-Herd are most likely automatic firearms, and that much of the destruction of the town was caused using rockets and other explosives. Satellite photos show that a few elephants out in the open seem to be carrying rocket launchers. Other weapons used by the War-Herd, if indeed other weapons are in use, are currently unknown. The closest large city is Naples, Florida, a little over forty miles away with over nineteen thousand people. The town of Snowey is bordered by Big Cypress National Preserve on its eastern side, and has a few neighboring towns of similarly small population dotted around it.

Good question. While it's hard to tell whether they're communicating from the satellite imagery alone, it is clear that the elephants are disciplined as well as organized. They have herded a large number of citizens into the barn on the town's outskirts--at least a hundred, far more than the barn could reasonably hold. Good to have you! Good to have all of you, really. I'm glad people have taken an interest in the gun-toting elephant terrorist scenario. Everyone in Real Life I've talked to about this have only rolled their eyes at me. Elephant behaviorists are a good idea. Uh... no. Sorry, but I don't know what Alpor Nok is. If it helps, they're not from an established fictional universe. With the votes collected, I have written the following with the assumption that the Foundation has opted to tap the cellphones for an hour before asking to hear to hear the hostage-taker's demands. The lines are quiet, for the most part. Aside from the occasional whimpers and unintelligible whispering from the hostages--all of which is cut off by abrupt trumpeting--the only sound is steady rumbling from the elephants, and twice the brief whirring of what sounds like a vast machine. The whirring is always accompanied by trumpets and rumbles from the hostage takers. After an hour of listening, the Foundation makes itself known. The phone rings for scarcely a minute before it is answered and switched to speaker mode. "We received the images you made public," the Foundation representative says. "We ask what you demand in exchange for the safe return of the hostages." Deep rumbling is heard from over the line, before the phone is answered by the shaky voice of a teenager. "Um... hi," the kid says weakly, sounding almost too terrified to speak. "My n-name is K-Kyle Lawrence. I am the representative--" a sharp trumpet comes over the line -- "N-no, the instrument of He Who Trumpets Before The Storm... First Lord over the Twentieth War-Herd... Charger across the Invisible Sea... S-son of the Great Westernmost Empire." The teenager gulps, but continues over the deep growling in the background. "The T-twentieth War-Herd has greatly enjoyed this Charge. They say they will come to this world again, as will their sons, and their s-son's sons, and next time the city they strike will be far larger. All of m-mankind's cities and lives are forfeit." The kid's voice breaks off with a squeak, and the rumbling intensifies for a moment. "While the Ch-charge cannot be stopped, H-he Who Trumpets B-before The Storm is m-merciful and w-wise. If no human warriors challenge him, he will return the s-surviving prisoners unharmed, now and on all forthcoming Charges. If he and his, uh, men are allowed to destroy whatever they like, wherever they like, then he will keep human casualties to a minimum." Another pause comes over the line before Kyle speaks again, his voice even weaker than before. "You... you have a day to respond. Tomorrow morning, they will... destroy a city. If they meet no major opposition, they will ensure the survival of at least half of the population. If they are fought, then they will extinguish the lives of every man, woman and child. On this you have the oath of He Who Trumpets Before the Storm." And with those parting words, the call is disconnected.

We have a winner!

Yikes. It makes sense that an equal ratio would be best--equal ratios are what the human race is designed to fall into naturally, right? So it only makes sense that we'd be adapted to work best when the proper balance is met. I'm sorry you have to deal with women who are petty and mean, though. That sucks. Hmm. I might do that.

Nope. Neither of them. So Thorry to break it to you.

OK then. A primitive society ruled by a monarch is harassed by a gang out of outlaws, who are themselves kept in line by a vicious one-eyed leader. A misfit from the first society wishes to advance his fellows to the industrial age, prompting his superiors to send him on a presumed suicide mission to contact mercenaries from the outside world.

Are a lot of the women you've worked with genuinely more likely to be passive aggressive, then? I haven't seen many earnest ":angry:" smilies from you. Sorry you're having a bad day so far. I heard you like meerkats, so... My morning's fine so far. I've got a pot of water on the stove, which I intend to corrupt with powdery, cappuccino-flavored corn syrup solids that will probably kill me over my lifetime. So I've got that going for me, which is nice. Forum-wise, the global paranormal defense consortium I started is being compromised by infighting. After an invasion by elephant stormtroopers, two councilmen have split into anti-Earth-elephant and pro-Earth-elephant factions. It... sounds silly, but there seems to be a fairly legitimate fight going on over there and I'm not sure whether I should try to say anything peacemaking.

I feel so important waking up to this: Granted, it helps that I edited my forum settings to notify me whenever a thread I follow is posted on. Still though. 18 notifications is 18 notifications, and I like clicking on those little red numbers.

Those are hilarious. Thanks for those links, Joe. Though as a general reminder, which may or may not be applicable for this situation... elephants are not humans. While some strategies are universal across sapient races, one cannot always assume that non-humans will fight a human style of war for human reasons.