Boys. Not ONLY boys, but... Boys.

[Mat he/him]

3 minutes ago, Condensation said:

Okay, can I get a little help here? I'm pretty sure this guy is flirting with me, but I thought I'd get another opinion.

Oh no wait, 3 guys.

What'd he (they?) say?

[I Am A Fish he/him]

Anybody here consider themselves an idiot?

[Condensation she/her]

The first one keeps seeking me out and he will block my path so I have to walk around(and then he blocks me again and I get annoyed and talk to him) or he'll ask to look at something I did and then walk away with it(I assume so I have to go take it back). The second one has been so chivalrous, he holds the door for me, and pulls out my chair, and holds my stuff, and wipes off my desk and chromebook for me, and draws attention to me when I want to ask a question. The third one keeps seeking me out to talk about whatever and he's been reading Brandon Sanderson books to talk with me about them. I'm least sure about the first and most sure about the second.

[Mat he/him]

3 minutes ago, Condensation said:

The first one keeps seeking me out and he will block my path so I have to walk around(and then he blocks me again and I get annoyed and talk to him) or he'll ask to look at something I did and then walk away with it(I assume so I have to go take it back). The second one has been so chivalrous, he holds the door for me, and pulls out my chair, and holds my stuff, and wipes off my desk and chromebook for me, and draws attention to me when I want to ask a question. The third one keeps seeking me out to talk about whatever and he's been reading Brandon Sanderson books to talk with me about them. I'm least sure about the first and most sure about the second.

I would agree with your assessment. With the first one, I'd say it largely depends on with your history with him. If you've been friends for a long time, I'd say he probably isn't flirting (though I bet some people would say the opposite :P) And if you haven't talked with him that much it probably is. I'd say the third is definitely flirting, though. 

[Condensation she/her]

4 hours ago, Matrim's Dice said:

I would agree with your assessment. With the first one, I'd say it largely depends on with your history with him. If you've been friends for a long time, I'd say he probably isn't flirting (though I bet some people would say the opposite :P) And if you haven't talked with him that much it probably is. I'd say the third is definitely flirting, though. 

Thanks. That's what I was thinking, but I'm glad to have a second opinion. There's a fourth one, but he's on the Shard(and I'm hoping he isn't reading this) and I don't want him to read and understand that it's him. If you really want to help, maybe start a PM? It's really not necessary.

[BreezeCauthon he/him]

13 hours ago, Condensation said:

The first one keeps seeking me out and he will block my path so I have to walk around(and then he blocks me again and I get annoyed and talk to him) or he'll ask to look at something I did and then walk away with it(I assume so I have to go take it back). The second one has been so chivalrous, he holds the door for me, and pulls out my chair, and holds my stuff, and wipes off my desk and chromebook for me, and draws attention to me when I want to ask a question. The third one keeps seeking me out to talk about whatever and he's been reading Brandon Sanderson books to talk with me about them. I'm least sure about the first and most sure about the second.

Out of curiosity, do you prefer any particular style?

A big hint as to the first guy is whether he does annoying stuff to anybody else.

[Bearer of all agonies he/him]

Yes, that too. The second guy definitely is, and the third, but the first is questionable. 

[Retrac he/him]

21 hours ago, I Used To Be A Fish said:

Anybody here consider themselves an idiot?

I do I do!!!

[I Am A Fish he/him]

 

WHO DARES SUMMON ME!?!?!??

@Retrac?

Edited September 9, 2020 by I Used To Be A Fish

[Condensation she/her]

12 hours ago, BreezeCauthon said:

Out of curiosity, do you prefer any particular style?

A big hint as to the first guy is whether he does annoying stuff to anybody else.

No, I haven't noticed it. With everyone else he's perfectly cordial, he's just annoying to me. And then at times he's incredibly sweet and I just forget about him being annoying

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

26 minutes ago, Condensation said:

No, I haven't noticed it. With everyone else he's perfectly cordial, he's just annoying to me. And then at times he's incredibly sweet and I just forget about him being annoying

Yeah, he likes you.

[Ironwill2112 he/him]

*Says waffles in agreement*

[Condensation she/her]

1 hour ago, DramaQueen said:

Yeah, he likes you.

43 minutes ago, McWafy said:

*Says waffles in agreement*

Thank you for the confirmation, that's what I thought. Ooh, now how do I acknowledge that he likes me without making it awkward? I think I like him, but I also like some other guys.

You guys, I think I have the most romance-filled life of anyone I know. Especially if you include the romance novels.

Edited September 10, 2020 by Condensation

[Mat he/him]

23 hours ago, Condensation said:

Thanks. That's what I was thinking, but I'm glad to have a second opinion. There's a fourth one, but he's on the Shard(and I'm hoping he isn't reading this) and I don't want him to read and understand that it's him. If you really want to help, maybe start a PM? It's really not necessary.

If you want, though I probably wouldn't be that helpful...

20 minutes ago, Condensation said:

Thank you for the confirmation, that's what I thought. Ooh, now how do I acknowledge that he likes me without making it awkward? I think I like him, but I also like some other guys.

I'm weighing the pros and cons of just straight-up telling him... I know that probably wouldn't be the way to go for someone like me, but I also wouldn't annoy a girl that I liked on purpose (and be terrified if that was what it seemed like) so maybe that would be fine. If you want to be more sneaky, you could just play along with whatever he does. I don't know how much you already do that, though.

 

Edited September 10, 2020 by Matrim's Dice
That last 'I' wasn't capitalized, darn it!

[Condensation she/her]

15 minutes ago, Matrim's Dice said:

If you want, though I probably wouldn't be that helpful...

I'm weighing the pros and cons of just straight-up telling him... I know that probably wouldn't be the way to go for someone like me, but I also wouldn't annoy a girl that I liked on purpose (and be terrified if that was what it seemed like) so maybe that would be fine. If you want to be more sneaky, you could just play along with whatever he does. I don't know how much you already do that, though.

 

So, everyone has guessed and I'm straight up anxious that he'll figure it out.(the fourth one)

I don't play along that much. Wait, play along how? Like, walk around/ignore him? Or talk to him and try to get him to move or give it back?

[Mat he/him]

7 minutes ago, Condensation said:

I don't play along that much. Wait, play along how? Like, walk around/ignore him? Or talk to him and try to get him to move or give it back?

The second one.

Edited September 10, 2020 by Matrim's Dice
And I just now realized I'm a Ghostblood...

[Scarletfox]

Hehehehehehehe

Time for relationship advice with Scarletfox! I have watched from afar from time to time on here, but have generally tried to say out of the advice giving when it comes to relationships, because the last time I opened my mouth on the subject (outside of family), I got yelled at. Anyway, please don't yell at me.

I will go broad to specific with my beliefs.

When it comes to dating, the first thing you need to do is ask yourself, why? This initial philosophy is something you need to specify when you look at relationships. I personally believe that dating is but a segway to marriage. Whenever you date, or commit to a relationship, it should be with the means of getting married some day. There are a lot of different interpretations of this, including (but not limited to): First, you could only date those who you've stalked vetted researched  you already know, so that you are aware of what you're getting into. Second, you could only date those with the intentions of marrying them (but this is bordering on courting, which I think is ok, but not the only way). Third, you date anyone and everyone who asks you out, at least at first, so that you can compare and contrast people, and figure out what type of people you like, and what attributes you'd like to find in the person you spend the rest of your life with. These different interpretations work for different people. Everyone has a slightly different way that works for them.

I think that when you are in middle and high school, dating is not a wise choice, simply because it tends to add unnecessary drama and heartbreak to an already emotionally complicated life. However, I think that exposure to healthy relationships is important, whether it be your parents, or your siblings, or even your friends. I have it easy; because I have lots of older siblings, I have had a front row seat at watching relationships succeed and fail. Two of my siblings are married, one is engaged, one is heartbroken from a divorce, one is heartbroken from a break-up, and one is seriously depressed because she's still single. Then there's me, who's never actually been in a relationship, yet am still the family relationship advisor that everyone comes to. Being the third-wheel can be uncomfortable, however it is a vital experience to understanding conflict-management in relationships.

When it comes to having people liking you, but they haven't said anything about it, I would say generally treat them exactly the same as you would treat them if they were a normal friend. Don't make it awkward or obvious that you're catching on, because that will make it difficult for them to think about how they feel. You want to make them comfortable enough to share their feelings, but don't lead them on as if you like them, if you don't actually like them. Let them talk to you when they're ready, on their terms, unless you are confident that you like them. If you like them, and you want a relationship to evolve beyond that of friendship, let them know. Be honest with how you feel. But know this, if excelerating the relationship is discussed between friends, it will eternally change the relationship. Whether for the better or the worse, it will be different. This could mean the friendship is ruined, the relationship is good and lasts, things are slightly more awkward, or things are slightly less awkward. It all depends on how you react toward each other.

Edited September 10, 2020 by Scarletfox

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

1 minute ago, Scarletfox said:

I think that when you are in middle and high school, dating is not a wise choice, simply because it tends to add unnecessary drama and heartbreak to an already emotionally complicated life. However, I think that exposure to healthy relationships is important, whether it be your parents, or your siblings, or even your friends. I have it easy; because I have lots of older siblings, I have had a front row seat at watching relationships succeed and fail. Two of my siblings are married, one is engaged, one is heartbroken from a divorce, one is heartbroken from a break-up, and one is seriously depressed because she's still single. Then there's me, who's never actually been in a relationship, yet am still the family relationship advisor that everyone comes to. Being the third-wheel can be uncomfortable, however it is a vital experience to understanding conflict-management in relationships.

Personally, I think that dating in middle/jr high school is a big fat no-no, but in high school, it's super fun! Serious relationships, no. But going on dates with a bunch of different people, like you said in the first paragraph, is a great idea! You should go on dates to get to know people and decide what you want in a future partner.

[Condensation she/her]

27 minutes ago, Matrim's Dice said:

The second one.

 I'll try that. *talking to Scarletfox* I think I'd like to, y'know(this is awkward), but I can't really know unless I know what he's like when he's thinking about how he likes me or how we're on a date.

[theTruthshaper]

34 minutes ago, Matrim's Dice said:

The second one.

Isn't ignoring the worst thing you could do? Can you explain why you would even consider that?

 

Also, I really, really want to know what actually happens in a 'serious' relationship.

[Mat he/him]

10 minutes ago, Condensation said:

 I'll try that. *talking to Scarletfox* I think I'd like to, y'know(this is awkward), but I can't really know unless I know what he's like when he's thinking about how he likes me or how we're on a date.

 

3 minutes ago, The_Truthwatcher said:

Isn't ignoring the worst thing you could do? Can you explain why you would even consider that?

No, the second one as in don’t ignore him. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.

[Condensation she/her]

Well, I kind of have to get to my next class or get that thing back, so I walk away, or try to walk around, or pretend like I don't need it. I don't know, it's a self defense mechanism developed from years of living with 6 other people, most of which are constantly trying and succeeding to annoy me.

[theTruthshaper]

1 minute ago, Condensation said:

Well, I kind of have to get to my next class or get that thing back, so I walk away, or try to walk around, or pretend like I don't need it. I don't know, it's a self defense mechanism developed from years of living with 6 other people, most of which are constantly trying and succeeding to annoy me.

I don't have much advice for this, 'cause most of my advice in this situation would be geared against bullying.

23 minutes ago, Scarletfox said:

Hehehehehehehe

Time for relationship advice with Scarletfox! I have watched from afar from time to time on here, but have generally tried to say out of the advice giving when it comes to relationships, because the last time I opened my mouth on the subject (outside of family), I got yelled at. Anyway, please don't yell at me.

I will go broad to specific with my beliefs.

When it comes to dating, the first thing you need to do is ask yourself, why? This initial philosophy is something you need to specify when you look at relationships. I personally believe that dating is but a segway to marriage. Whenever you date, or commit to a relationship, it should be with the means of getting married some day. There are a lot of different interpretations of this, including (but not limited to): First, you could only date those who you've stalked vetted researched  you already know, so that you are aware of what you're getting into. Second, you could only date those with the intentions of marrying them (but this is bordering on courting, which I think is ok, but not the only way). Third, you date anyone and everyone who asks you out, at least at first, so that you can compare and contrast people, and figure out what type of people you like, and what attributes you'd like to find in the person you spend the rest of your life with. These different interpretations work for different people. Everyone has a slightly different way that works for them.

I think that when you are in middle and high school, dating is not a wise choice, simply because it tends to add unnecessary drama and heartbreak to an already emotionally complicated life. However, I think that exposure to healthy relationships is important, whether it be your parents, or your siblings, or even your friends. I have it easy; because I have lots of older siblings, I have had a front row seat at watching relationships succeed and fail. Two of my siblings are married, one is engaged, one is heartbroken from a divorce, one is heartbroken from a break-up, and one is seriously depressed because she's still single. Then there's me, who's never actually been in a relationship, yet am still the family relationship advisor that everyone comes to. Being the third-wheel can be uncomfortable, however it is a vital experience to understanding conflict-management in relationships.

When it comes to having people liking you, but they haven't said anything about it, I would say generally treat them exactly the same as you would treat them if they were a normal friend. Don't make it awkward or obvious that you're catching on, because that will make it difficult for them to think about how they feel. You want to make them comfortable enough to share their feelings, but don't lead them on as if you like them, if you don't actually like them. Let them talk to you when they're ready, on their terms, unless you are confident that you like them. If you like them, and you want a relationship to evolve beyond that of friendship, let them know. Be honest with how you feel. But know this, if excelerating the relationship is discussed between friends, it will eternally change the relationship. Whether for the better or the worse, it will be different. This could mean the friendship is ruined, the relationship is good and lasts, things are slightly more awkward, or things are slightly less awkward. It all depends on how you react toward each other.

I just want a simple answer, what should two people who like each other do?

[Scarletfox]

30 minutes ago, DramaQueen said:

Personally, I think that dating in middle/jr high school is a big fat no-no, but in high school, it's super fun! Serious relationships, no. But going on dates with a bunch of different people, like you said in the first paragraph, is a great idea! You should go on dates to get to know people and decide what you want in a future partner.

Yes.... basically. I mostly agree with this.

Spoiler

 Sorry, but I'm a debater at heart. maybe that's why I got yelled at last time...

Generally speaking, there are many different variables you need to consider here. Maturity, culture, and communication.

First, this has a lot to do with maturity. I know of college students who are less mature than sixth graders, and vice versa. There are some who are mature enough to handle being in relationships in high school, and others that are not. It greatly depends. There's no magic age when you can start dating, because not everyone matures at the same rate. When dating others in high school, it is hard because there are some who will misinterpret what a 'date' means, as they are unable to analyze precisely what the other person means by 'dating'.

This leads me right into the second variable. It has a lot to do with culture. At one of my brother's colleges, if you ask someone on a date, it's the equivalent of asking someone to marry you (kind of like Spook's handkerchief). At my other brother's college, asking someone on a date is equivalent to realizing that you share something in common with someone else. At my school, a date equals a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. If you break up with that person, you can never really be friends again. If I dated more than three people before I graduated, I would be known as a player, so you need to know what's acceptable in your culture, so you can know what the other person will be expecting from you.

This leads me to number three. Communication needs to be clear, but it can be awkward to spell out exactly how the relationship will work without turning into Steris. It's hard to tiptoe on this tight-rope (a-ha! alliteration!), but in the end, it is vital for every relationship, especially adolescent relationships, to get expectations on the table.

 

27 minutes ago, Condensation said:

 I'll try that. *talking to Scarletfox* I think I'd like to, y'know(this is awkward), but I can't really know unless I know what he's like when he's thinking about how he likes me or how we're on a date.

If you're unsure about how you feel regarding someone, give it time. I suggest that you get to know them a bit more before jumping into anything. Treat them like a normal friend, and get to know them as a friend, before getting to know them romantically. Give yourself time to think about how you feel, and let yourself adapt as you get to know them.

10 minutes ago, The_Truthwatcher said:

I just want a simple answer, what should two people who like each other do?

1. Evaluate their knowledge - ask yourself this: how well do you know this person, and are you compatible?

2. Evaluate their future - ask yourself things like this: are you in position that this relationship could last beyond high school? Will a long distance relationship work? That kind of thing

3. Evaluate their values - ask things like this: are you willing to risk losing this friendship to try to make it something more? Would you value your relationship over your career?

These things can help people to think through their feelings about each other. From here on out, they can make a decision about how to continue .  

Edited September 10, 2020 by Scarletfox

[DramaQueen she/he/neopronouns]

1 minute ago, Scarletfox said:

Yes.... basically. I mostly agree with this.

  Hide contents

 Sorry, but I'm a debater at heart. maybe that's why I got yelled at last time...

Generally speaking, there are many different variables you need to consider here. Maturity, culture, and communication.

First, this has a lot to do with maturity. I know of college students who are less mature than sixth graders, and vice versa. There are some who are mature enough to handle being in relationships in high school, and others that are not. It greatly depends. There's no magic age when you can start dating, because not everyone matures at the same rate. When dating others in high school, it is hard because there are some who will misinterpret what a 'date' means, as they are unable to analyze precisely what the other person means by 'dating'.

This leads me right into the second variable. It has a lot to do with culture. At one of my brother's colleges, if you ask someone on a date, it's the equivalent of asking someone to marry you (kind of like Spook's handkerchief). At my other brother's college, asking someone on a date is equivalent to realizing that you share something in common with someone else. At my school, a date equals a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. If you break up with that person, you can never really be friends again. If I dated more than three people before I graduated, I would be known as a player, so you need to know what's acceptable in your culture, so you can know what the other person will be expecting from you.

This leads me to number three. Communication needs to be clear, but it can be awkward to spell out exactly how the relationship will work without turning into Steris. It's hard to tiptoe on this tight-rope (a-ha! alliteration!), but in the end, it is vital for every relationship, especially adolescent relationships.

Yep, I will agree with this. It should be made clear that you:

1. Only want to go on a date for fun, to get to know each other,
2. Like them as more than a friend but aren't ready for that commitment, or
3. Like them as more than a friend and want to be something more now. (Not the best idea unless you are both really mature and ready for this. People aren't usually the best judges of their own maturity, so ask a trusted friend or adult for their opinion.)