The Newcago Court

[Kobold King he/him]

"Thank you." She said, smiling.  "It takes around a week to two weeks depending on the length of the ball. The Royal Kitchen work extremely hard to make incredible food. In fact, all of the servants do."

 

The Kobold King smiled, flicking out his tongue to get a whiff of the air. The scent of food wafted freely through the Court--in particular, the chocolate that the Queen was well known for filled the air.

 

She surrounds herself with joviality and whimsy, he pondered, allowing his gaze to drift across the castle. And yet, she trades freely with the Dark Alleys. A merry shell surrounding a rotten core, or a deception of many different levels?

 

His eyes settled on the lycanthrope in the fancy dress, whose scent tasted of distrust. She was the key. A known antagonist to the Dark Alley, chatting with a known trade sponsor of theirs. There was more here that met the eye--and Kobold hadn't gotten this far by ignoring indescrepencies of the courts. At best, Winter's presence was a simple scouting mission. At worst, it could be a downright assassination attempt.

 

An assassination attempt in this place would likely succeed. And successful assassination attempts led to war. And war was bad business.

 

"Hello, Winter," purred the Kobold King of Crime, staring up at the woman. "How goes that pack of yours? None of you have been made into throw rugs recently, I presume?"

[mail-mi he/him]

Mail-mi had readied himself to burst into the ballroom with a grand entrance. Had readied, that was, until he saw the kobolds. 

 

He immediately stepped away from the doors. The kobolds were known enemies of the Dark Alley, and would be sure to take down any lurker on sight. But I'm new, Mail-mi thought. They don't know that I've joined yet, right? 

 

Even though they probably didn't, Mail-mi knew he had to be very cautious. He stepped quietly into the ballroom, then quietly slipped--quite literally--over to the refreshments. 

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

For the first time since gaining her powers, Doctor Funtimes did not announce her arrival with a cheer and a shower of glitter. Doing that would mean letting everyone know she was there right then—which, while maybe useful, would be just as likely to turn sour. Besides, they would know she was there before too long anyway, and she'd need those few minutes between her arrival and everyone knowing about it to case the joint. 

 

Case the joint. She giggled, swiping a chocolate-covered strawberry from the snack table she'd teleported next to. She liked the sound of that phrase. Case the joint. Case the joint. It made her picture a briefcase walking into a prison or a smoke-filled bar or some other place shady enough to be called a ​joint and sit until someone suspicious sat next to him. And then the suspicious person would find himself attacked by a living briefcase. 

 

With teeth. 

 

Funtimes nibbled her strawberry. Well, she nibbled the first bite. That bite was so delicious she popped the whole thing into her mouth and chewed while grabbing for another. And another, just in case that strange stranger intent on slipping over to the table slipped the rest of the tray into his pocket. Did he have pockets? Maybe he did. Lots of Epics had pockets. She had heard of one who could always take an entire Sausage McMuffin out of his pocket, even if he didn't have a pocket, and eat it right there. 

 

By the time she reached her fourth strawberry (it didn't take long, since they were so delicious) she had seen several people who looked like they might be meaniefaces in disguise: 

 

The woman in a dress that reminded Funtimes of a Renaissance Faire (they always spelled it with an extra E, which Funtimes suspected was stolen from the band Staind) 

 

The man slipping and slipping toward the snack table, eyeing the nummy snacks with hungry eyes 

 

The woman dressed in a pretty sparkly blue dress that looked to be made of snowflakes (oh Great Noodly One she looks like so so much fun and I hope she's not a meanieface) 

 

The big lizard man and the hundreds of teeny tiny lizards that looked like smaller versions of the dinosaurs Lightwards had and used to make people bleed and wanted to feed Nathan to and what if the lizard guy was really Lightwards after meeting some genie and asking if he could be a lizard person for a while?

 

Ice. 

 

Lizards weren't good with ice, and the lizard guy was walking toward the ice queen now. That was good, but what if she was charmed by his lizard face and his lizard hands and his weird lizard eyeballs? She had to make sure she wasn't. Had to make sure. 

 

Before Funtimes could think of a way to ensure the ice queen distrusted the lizard-who-might-be-Lightwards, another little lizard skittered up to the table. He looked at her through beady black eyes and tilted his head. 

 

"Ya don't look like yer from around here, lady." 

 

Funtimes blinked—talking lizards, not the weirdest thing ever, not since seeing Heracles in that chain mail bikini—and looked down at her dress. Still the same dress she always wore, poofy in the skirt and dyed every color she could think to put inside a water balloon. Still the same light-up socks that went to her knees, still the same mismatched Converse. She giggled. "And you look like you're from Lighty Lightwards." 

 

The lizard tilted his head the opposite way. "Who's that?" 

 

"Your teeth are shiny." 

 

"My…" 

 

They weren't all shiny. Not all of them. And she didn't fancy taking a shiny tooth from a lizard's mouth, but if he was from Lightwards and Lightwards had taught him to talk, then she had to find out how much he knew. 

 

Had to find out. 

 

Had to. 

 

She smiled, tilting her own head. "How'd you learn to talk?" 

 

The lizard backed a step, obviously not liking the way she smiled at him. "I…" 

 

"Want to tell me, or do you want to give me one of those shiny teeth?" 

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

"Welcome everyone." The Queen walked up to Doctor Funtimes. "I see you like the strawberries. They are my favourite too. How are you? Newcago Royals just can't get enough of chocolate." She laughed before taking one herself.

She then turned to Mailmi. "Thank you for coming. Glad you could make it."

On the ice rink on the other side, four different women dressed in Newcago uniforms began to do a ice skating display.

Edited December 31, 2014 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[Seonid he/him]

Backing slowly into the room, a disheveled man in an unadorned brown habit and lowered hood pulled a cart loaded with a large assortment of maps, scrolls, and other items behind him. Distracted and seemingly nearsighted, he nearly ran over several of the guests before he noticed them. From then on, he moved even more slowly, with many cries of "Pardon me!" and "If you please, good sir!"

 

While trying to negotiate a particularly tight turn through a quartet of figure skaters, who glared bloody murder at him as he passed, he stumbled over an unnoticed step in the ballroom floor, falling backwards to the ground. The cart, loaded far past its recommended capacity, tipped over as he fell, crashing into a table loaded with various refreshments. Chocolate strawberries, scrolls, maps, pineapples, and knick-knacks went flying over the floor. The disheveled man found himself at the feet of a beautifully dressed woman who gave off an aura of cold, and another woman whose dress could only be described as...colorful.

 

As he stood up, he seemed to take in his surroundings for the very first time. "Oh dear. Martyr's burned bones! I think that I wandered into the wrong place by mistake. You see, I was supposed to be headed for the Inter-Cosmological Historical Societies inaugural meeting. But I must have taken a right at Antares and slipped through the wrong relativistic gate at Sagittarius A*, and..." He slowly trailed off, seeing their surprised looks.

 

"Perhaps I should begin at the beginning. My name is Seonid, Lorekeeper of the Edassan Tomes."

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

Backing slowly into the room, a disheveled man in an unadorned brown habit and lowered hood pulled a cart loaded with a large assortment of maps, scrolls, and other items behind him. Distracted and seemingly nearsighted, he nearly ran over several of the guests before he noticed them. From then on, he moved even more slowly, with many cries of "Pardon me!" and "If you please, good sir!"

While trying to negotiate a particularly tight turn through a quartet of figure skaters, who glared bloody murder at him as he passed, he stumbled over an unnoticed step in the ballroom floor, falling backwards to the ground. The cart, loaded far past its recommended capacity, tipped over as he fell, crashing into a table loaded with various refreshments. Chocolate strawberries, scrolls, maps, pineapples, and knick-knacks went flying over the floor. The disheveled man found himself at the feet of a beautifully dressed woman who gave off an aura of cold, and another woman whose dress could only be described as...colorful.

As he stood up, he seemed to take in his surroundings for the very first time. "Oh dear. Martyr's burned bones! I think that I wandered into the wrong place by mistake. You see, I was supposed to be headed for the Inter-Cosmological Historical Societies inaugural meeting. But I must have taken a right at Antares and slipped through the wrong relativistic gate at Sagittarius A*, and..." He slowly trailed off, seeing their surprised looks.

"Perhaps I should begin at the beginning. My name is Seonid, Lorekeeper of the Edassan Tomes."

The Queen looked a little surprised at the shock. She snapped her fingers once and immediately maids began flowing in and out of the room, replacing any refreshments that had fallen on the floor.

"Hello Seonid. Where are you from? I am Queen Elsa Steelheart, queen of the Newcago Court, Scholars Base and LOC. You look like you've taken quite a fall. Is everything okay?" She called to a guard who helped pick up his cart. "You're welcome to stay."

[Seonid he/him]

The Queen looked a little surprised at the shock. She snapped her fingers once and immediately maids began flowing in and out of the room, replacing any refreshments that had fallen on the floor.

"Hello Seonid. Where are you from? I am Queen Elsa Steelheart, queen of the Newcago Court, Scholars Base and LOC. You look like you've taken quite a fall. Is everything okay?" She called to a guard who helped pick up his cart. "You're welcome to stay."

 

"Where am I from? Hmm...where am I from? Well, that's a little bit of a long story." Seonid looked around. "Last I checked, I was from Edassa...probably the Alcorazim area, probably 35th year of the 4th Era...no wait, that's not right. It had to have been the fifth..." He trailed off into a muddle of confused calculations, pulling a battered quill pen out of an inside pocket. After many scribbled on the back of one of his maps, he tapped the side of the pen. A laser shot out, removing the ink without further damage to the aged parchment.

 

"There we go. Just like I thought. I'm from, well, a little bit of everywhere, really." He processed the rest of her comment slowly. "And thank you, your Majesty. I am quite alright. This appears to be the...Newcago Court?" Without waiting for a response, he went on. "I probably shouldn't stay, I have to be at the Society meeting by Cosmeric Noon to present my paper on the organizational structure of the Inquisition during the rise of the Menkoran Patriarchate." His eyes lit at that moment on a lizard-man who had been speaking with the Queen.

 

"Do I know you?" Scattered papers forgotten, he ran over to the reptilian figure. "It seems to me that yo bear a passing resemblance to a crocodile I once met in Menkor. The Murk Lurker, I believe her name was. Do you happen to be related?"

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

"Where am I from? Hmm...where am I from? Well, that's a little bit of a long story." Seonid looked around. "Last I checked, I was from Edassa...probably the Alcorazim area, probably 35th year of the 4th Era...no wait, that's not right. It had to have been the fifth..." He trailed off into a muddle of confused calculations, pulling a battered quill pen out of an inside pocket. After many scribbled on the back of one of his maps, he tapped the side of the pen. A laser shot out, removing the ink without further damage to the aged parchment.

 

"There we go. Just like I thought. I'm from, well, a little bit of everywhere, really." He processed the rest of her comment slowly. "And thank you, your Majesty. I am quite alright. This appears to be the...Newcago Court?" Without waiting for a response, he went on. "I probably shouldn't stay, I have to be at the Society meeting by Cosmeric Noon to present my paper on the organizational structure of the Inquisition during the rise of the Menkoran Patriarchate." His eyes lit at that moment on a lizard-man who had been speaking with the Queen.

 

"Do I know you?" Scattered papers forgotten, he ran over to the reptilian figure. "It seems to me that yo bear a passing resemblance to a crocodile I once met in Menkor. The Murk Lurker, I believe her name was. Do you happen to be related?"

"This is the Newcago Court, one of the oldest guilds here. Enjoy your meeting by Cosmeric Noon. What exactly is it?" She said, smiling. "You are welcome here anytime."

[Seonid he/him]

"This is the Newcago Court, one of the oldest guilds here. Enjoy your meeting by Cosmeric Noon. What exactly is it?" She said, smiling. "You are welcome here anytime."

 

Turning away from the reptile-man for a moment, the Lorekeeper began to speak. "Cosmeric Noon is the centerpiece of the timekeeping system devised by the Inter-Cosmological Historical Society. Since trying to keep track of times across a dozen multiverses and literally infinite worlds is rather tough, we devised a new time system. Since we decided to make Brandon Sanderson the honorary president of the society, due to his remarkably able historical works covering the Cosmere, we thought it proper to name the timekeeping system after him. Cosmeric Noon strikes every time Brandon publishes a book."

 

He looked as if he was going to go on, but a chiming from another pocket distracted him. "Oh! I'm nearly late. Can someone direct me to the nearest interdimensional portal? He turned from the reptilian man, completely forgetting that he had asked him a question, and grabbed his cart again. Moving off, he started shouting "Coming through! Important Inter-Cosmological Historical Society business coming through!"

 

As he passed out of the courtroom, he turned and waved one last time at the Queen. "Thanks for your kind words of invitation, your Majesty! I'll be back after my presentation, if my colleagues in the Spell Book writing department don't get to me first!"

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

The Queen waved back and smiled. "Nice to meet you, hope to see you back soon, Seonid. Good luck with your meeting."

Edited December 31, 2014 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[Delightful]

HAPPY NEW YEARS FROM AUSTRALIA!!!

(I'll read/join the Rp party soon. But it's 2015 for me and not you guys for a while and that's strange and awesome)

If you're online now, check out the Sydney fireworks !

Edited December 31, 2014 by Delightful

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

HAPPY NEW YEARS FROM AUSTRALIA!!!

(I'll read/join the Rp party soon. But it's 2015 for me and not you guys for a while and that's strange and awesome)

If you're online now, check out the Sydney fireworks !

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!! Those fireworks were magnificent.

Edited December 31, 2014 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[mail-mi he/him]

A woman in...was that a trench coat? At least, it used to be. It was now covered with every color of paint imaginable, and her hair was laced with enough glitter to blind anyone staring at it in the sun. She came over to the refreshment table, carefully eyeing the room, and took a strawberry. Then another strawberry. Then she started to gobble down strawberries like they'd be her last meal. 

 

She seems empty-headed and easily tricked, Mail-mi thought to himself, munching on a cracker. I can use that. He started to walk to her to strike up a conversation, but something else reached her before he did. 

 

A kobold. 

 

Rust and ruin! Mail-mi thought, scampering away quickly. His bloody lab coat would be a dead giveaway to the kobolds. Looking over his shoulder, making sure the kobold didn't follow him, he ran straight into Queen Elsa Steelheart. 

 

Stumbling backwards, Mail-mi righted himself quickly and grabbed the Queen's hand to help her to not fall. "Thank you for coming. Glad you could make it," she said as she stood up. 

 

"Glad I could be here," Mail-mi said, bowing to the queen. "And I must say, what a lovely party it is turning out to be!" 

[Kobold King he/him]

People came. People went. It seemed fellas from all corners of creation were turning up for this thing; the Kobold recognized a bloodstained member of the Alleys, an Epic from Oregon, and even the Lorekeeper of the Edassan Tomes. The last one even seemed to recognize him.

 

He didn't get a chance to speak with any of them, however, as the lady lycanthrope took a step forward.

 

"Hi, Kobold King. The Queen sure does know how to throw a bash, doesn't she?" Her voice dropped, taking on a dangerous tone. "What do you want with me? I don't react kindly to threats."

 

The Kobold responded with a barking laugh. "Straight to the point, eh? That's what I like about you wolves. Ya don't waste time playin' around." He pulled a finely rolled cigar from his sleeve, lighting it as he continued to speak.

 

"See, here's what I'm thinkin'. Yer what we in the business like to call a wild card. And by 'wild card,' what we really mean is 'Hemalurgic abomination.' Which is fine. Some of my best buddies have been abominations of some sort or another. But it means that if we're ta turn a profit from this ball thingamajig, we've gotta make sure yer not plannin' anything funny."

 

His eyes narrowed. "So let's level with each other, Winter Cloud. Are ya or are ya not here to fight against the Dark Alley?"

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

A woman in...was that a trench coat? At least, it used to be. It was now covered with every color of paint imaginable, and her hair was laced with enough glitter to blind anyone staring at it in the sun. She came over to the refreshment table, carefully eyeing the room, and took a strawberry. Then another strawberry. Then she started to gobble down strawberries like they'd be her last meal.

She seems empty-headed and easily tricked, Mail-mi thought to himself, munching on a cracker. I can use that. He started to walk to her to strike up a conversation, but something else reached her before he did.

A kobold.

Rust and ruin! Mail-mi thought, scampering away quickly. His bloody lab coat would be a dead giveaway to the kobolds. Looking over his shoulder, making sure the kobold didn't follow him, he ran straight into Queen Elsa Steelheart.

Stumbling backwards, Mail-mi righted himself quickly and grabbed the Queen's hand to help her to not fall. "Thank you for coming. Glad you could make it," she said as she stood up.

"Glad I could be here," Mail-mi said, bowing to the queen. "And I must say, what a lovely party it is turning out to be!"

The Queen gave a small laugh. "Thank you and Thank you for that quick catch. It would have been quite an embarrassment if I smacked my head in front of everyone here." she said, relaxing a bit more and smiling.

Suddenly a guard walked up to the podium and informed that the fireworks would be starting in fifteen minutes.

Edited January 1, 2015 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[Kobold King he/him]

The Kobold smirked slightly.

 

"I'm a lot of things, little wolf. I'm a necromancer forgin' utopia out of a thousand corpses. I'm a lost spirit with aspirations of bein' a crocodile. I'm a man in pink glasses who just wants to be respected. I'm an alien empress with a belt gilded with stolen planets. I'm an antlered pony with a crown on his flank."

 

Still grinning, he pulled out a cigar rolled from Nyssan tobacco, lighting it with a snap of his claws and shoving one end into his mouth. "I'm the capo of a modest reptile's anti-trust violation. But all you need to know, Miss Cloud, is that I'm yer pal so long as you behave yerself."

 

Still puffing on the imported cigar, the kobold turned around and headed towards the Newcago queen and the Dark Alley skulker.

[mail-mi he/him]

"Nothing could make you look bad, my Queen," Mail-mi said, taking another bow.

When he righted himself, the Kobold King himself was standing there. Mail-mi jumped slightly, and took a minute to calm his racing heart. "Kobold King," he said through clenched teeth.

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

"Nothing could make you look bad, my Queen," Mail-mi said, taking another bow.

When he righted himself, the Kobold King himself was standing there. Mail-mi jumped slightly, and took a minute to calm his racing heart. "Kobold King," he said through clenched teeth.

 

The Queen smiled again. "Thank you." She turned to Kobold King. "Hello again. How are you finding the party?"

[Kobold King he/him]

The Queen smiled again. "Thank you." She turned to Kobold King. "Hello again. How are you finding the party?"

 

"Frigid," the Kobold Capo replied with a grin. "In the strictly literal sense, of course." He puffed on his cigar a few more times, letting out dense rings of smoke that caused the nearby ice walls to condensate.

 

He turned to Mail-mi, who as a human being towered far above him. He still seemed suitably pale and perturbed about the tiny reptile's presence, however, so the Kobold blew a ring of smoke his way.

 

"G'day, Person-to-Avoid," he said cheerfully. His eyes carefully flickered over the bloodstains on his labcoat. "Science won over hygiene again, I take it?"

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

"Frigid," the Kobold Capo replied with a grin. "In the strictly literal sense, of course." He puffed on his cigar a few more times, letting out dense rings of smoke that caused the nearby ice walls to condensate.

 

Queen Elsa grinned back and laughed. "I am one who appreciates cold puns." She turned to the condensating wall  and raised her hand to place another layer of ice on them.

[mail-mi he/him]

Mail-mi groaned slightly at Kobold's remark. 

 

"They are stains, reptile," he said harshly, spitting his words at the Kobold. "Which are, by definition, unwashable." 

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

Mail-mi groaned slightly at Kobold's remark. 

 

"They are stains, reptile," he said harshly, spitting his words at the Kobold. "Which are, by definition, unwashable." 

"Have you tried Vanish? That gets anything off." 

[Quiver he/him]

I regret... well, I regret a lot of things. But I only regret this a little bit.

 

Newcago was wonderific! The ice coating the city streets made skating down them even easier and funnerer than it would have been if they were just plain old dirt roads, and those lamps lining every street were just amazing. Back home, if anypony wanted light after park, they had to open the lamps, light the fire themselves, then sit around and make sure the fire didn't accidentally spread and burn an entire town down- but here, they were just like pop, and on they went. It was almost like a sort of magic.

 

And the ice coating everything made everything all sparkly! It was like the Crystal Empire all over again, except it was steel instead of crystal. Did that mean the ponies who lived here were Steel Ponies? Because the only thing more awesome than getting a new friend was getting a whole new species to be friends with!

 

Yep, they may have just been passing through, but the salesponies had already decided that this place was fantastamazing, even if the grey pony didn't say as much. Really, there was only one thing missing, but since that was something that was missing from almost everywhere (and everywhere else didn't have enough of it to begin with), that was completely understandable. 

 

The two approached the entrance to the court, and approached one of the guards.

"Hello," the first mare said. Grey coated with a purple mane, her voice was deadpan and even. "We're here to see Queen Elsa."

"We're very excited," the second added, her coat and voice as vibrant as the first one was flat. She bounced up and down, causing the small saddlebags tied to her to bounce up and down with her, accompanied by a strange rattling noise from inside them. "But I mean, I bet you could totally tell that already, because this place is soooooo exciting to begin with that we can hardly contain our excitement!"

"We'd like to talk to Elsa about rocks," the first pony added. She stared at the guard before slowly- glacially- blinking.

 

 Salespony!Pinkie and Salespony!Maud. Because why not?

 

..I really need to get working on a Quiver Pony OC...

Edited January 9, 2015 by Quiver

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

I regret... well, I regret a lot of things. But I only regret this a little bit.

Newcago was wonderific! The ice coating the city streets made skating down them even easier and funnerer than it would have been if they were just plain old dirt roads, and those lamps lining every street were just amazing. Back home, if anypony wanted light after park, they had to open the lamps, light the fire themselves, then sit around and make sure the fire didn't accidentally spread and burn an entire town down- but here, they were just like pop, and on they went. It was almost like a sort of magic.

And the ice coating everything made everything all sparkly! It was like the Crystal Empire all over again, except it was steel instead of crystal. Did that mean the ponies who lived here were Steel Ponies? Because the only thing more awesome than getting a new friend was getting a whole new species to be friends with!

Yep, they may have just been passing through, but the salesponies had already decided that this place was fantastamazing, even if the grey pony didn't say as much. Really, there was only one thing missing, but since that was something that was missing from almost everywhere (and everywhere else didn't have enough of it to begin with), that was completely understandable.

The two approached the entrance to the court, and approached one of the guards.

"Hello," the first mare said. Grey coated with a purple mane, her voice was deadpan and even. "We're here to see Queen Elsa."

"We're very excited," the second added, her coat and voice as vibrant as the first one was flat. She bounced up and down, causing the small saddlebags tied to her to bounce up and down with her, accompanied by a strange rattling noise from inside them. "But I mean, I bet you could totally tell that already, because this place is soooooo exciting to begin with that we can hardly contain our excitement!"

"We'd like to talk to Elsa about rocks," the first pony added. She stared at the guard before slowly- glacially- blinking.

Salespony!Pinkie and Salespony!Maud. Because why not?

..I really need to get working on a Quiver Pony OC...

The guard blinked slightly for a few seconds back, slightly surprised by the ponies. "You may access entry to the Newcago Court and your meeting with Her Majesty, but first, state where you are from and what are the contents in that bag? You then will be allowed entry." The guard returned to a straight face and waited for their answer.

Edited January 10, 2015 by Queen Elsa Steelheart

[Quiver he/him]

"We represent the largest rock farm in Equestria," the grey pony said. She reached behind, hitching the saddlebags, opening the flap and presenting it to the guard.

The bag was full of rocks. Big rocks, little rocks, and in a range of colours. The pink pony grinned, bouncing between the pair and pulling out a small stone, flecked in two shades of grey.

"Here ya go," she exclaimed, forcing it into the guards hand. "Help yourself to a free sample- I mean, might as well, right? It is free after all!"

"We noticed there was a distinct lack of rocks in the city," the first pony continued, as if her associate had never spoken. "We thought that Elsa might be interested in purchasing some."

"We offer the best price," Pinky added with a grin, "and we don't even charge for shipping!"

Edited January 11, 2015 by Quiver