The Longest Thread (Misadventures)

[xinoehp512 he/him]

655 perked up. Maybe hitting the ground wouldn't be so bad after all.

[NameIess]

"Like my mother always said, never listen to disembodied voices!" Lard's laughing could barely be heard over the rushing wind. "I certainly don't. Why after the human pyramid thing, all my dead brothers haunted the rest of us, and I was the only one who didn't go to the underworld to rescue them. Now that's an excellent story. Let me tell it to you."

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

"It could be fun though," replied the voice. "You could have power beyond your comprehension if you listen to me."

[NameIess]

Lard's story about how his remaining four hundred and seventy-seven brothers had all died in the underworld was cut off by a rather loud impact with the ground.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

655 was blissfully reduced to dust.

Edited May 22, 2022 by xinoehp512

[NameIess]

Then seven hundred liters of Urn dragon blood splattered directly on top of him.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Irrelevant could only keep the pillar of fire irrelevant for so long.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

655 snoozed on the ground.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

The voice followed 655.

[NameIess]

Lard stood up completely unscathed, and began continuing his ramble. "So then Alex got himself turned into a zombie, and by the time the others figured it out, he'd already killed half of them."

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Wizard came and collected all the dragon blood.

[NameIess]

Lard glared at Wizard. "You wouldn't happen to be the bloke that killed my brother, would you?"

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

"No I don't remember killing anyone in the past couple centuries, I am just collected the blood of the Urn dragon as he said I could after he died."

[NameIess]

"My brother died seven centuries ago, killed by someone who looked and talked exactly like you."

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

"This is not normally what I look like," replies Wizard.

[xinoehp512 he/him]

655 was bored awake.

[NameIess]

"I'm talking about your true form, not this façade. My brother remembers you perfectly, and he could always see through to the truth of things." Lard took a threatening step towards Wizard. "So did you kill him?"

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

"Explain what I really look like and that will prove if I killed your brother or not."

[NameIess]

"He's really bad at describing stuff."

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

"Look kid I don't want to have to kill you, so leave and forget that I killed your evil brother." Offers Wizard.

[NameIess]

"How am I supposed to forget something like that? Even Jason wouldn't forget something like that." Lard launched into a story that described exactly how forgetful Jason was.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

"You might bore me to death that way. I haven't been bored to death yet so keep on going." Interupted Wizard.

[NameIess]

"Go on? Why that reminds me of the time my brother Artemis 'went on' to create an entire civilization of bears! It was super interesting. He spent seventy years training those bears, but at the end of it he managed a fully functioning kingdom. Now, the real interesting part of that story is what the bears did after he lost interest in their civilisation..." Lard continued on like this for a solid three days, never pausing for breath.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

Wizard slept through it all.

Edited May 22, 2022 by The Wandering Wizard

[NameIess]

At the end of the three days, Lard, still droning on about how his second cousin three times removed has once been eaten by a Charizard, walked calmly over to Wizard, stole all the Urn dragon blood, and calmly walked away.