[OB] Shipping Predictions (Super Cereal)

[Salkara]

Okay, with just about a day before Oathbringer is released, we need to talk about something important: What couples will we be shipping this time next week? This is no laughing matter.

We could talk about the obvious couples, like Zahel/Vivenna, Dalinar/Navani, and Amaram/Laral (Kaladin doesn't have enough reasons to hate Amaram already). Instead, let's talk about some more esoteric portmanteaus we are going to ship.

Here are my top 5 Super-Likely-To-Happen Couples:

Szallan (Szeth and Shallan).
Sorry to disappoint the Shadolin and Shaladin shippers, but this one is a forgone conclusion. Shallan is crazy. Super crazy. She also murdered her parents. Adolin and Kaladin love their parents too much to stick with Shallan after everyone finds out how she strangled her father (while singing!). Thankfully, all hope isn't lost for Shallan. There's another character who can totally relate to Shallan on a crazy-unhinged-psycho-murderer level: Szeth. Expect this heart-warming love story to bring you tears. I do.

Venladin (Venli and Kaladin).
Of the many reasons for Kaladin's time with the escaped parshment, one is so obscure, it's almost like it's not even there. He's going to have feelings for Venli. He's starting to see the listeners as people. He's empathizing with them. He's going to help lead and protect them, just like Kevin Costner in Dances with Wolves, Zak in FernGully, and Jake Sully in Avatar. In doing so, he'll help redeem one Parshendi who has been broken by her ambition. Kaladin may hate lighteyes, but that's not going to be a problem in this relationship. The WoB everyone will want is whether their children will look more Horneater or Herdazian. RAFO!

Axi-ephir (Axies and Re-Shephir).
Axies is all about the spren, so just wait until he meets Re-Shephir. Sparks are going to fly. He's an Amian with a habit of getting locked up. She's an Unmade with a history of imprisonment. Put 'em together it just makes sense! Like a snowman in summer! (My daughters discovered Frozen this weekend; those blasted songs are stuck in my head right now).

Jasnaln (Jasnah and Taln).
Jasnah embodies logic. Thematically, she needs someone who doesn't rely on logic. She needs the Kirk to her Spock. What better than someone who seems to lack logic completely? Good thing Amaram (hopefully) brought Taln to Urithiru. Trouble will start to brew when it turns out Taln may not actually be Taln, but Jasnaln will not waiver. At a crucial moment, logical Jasnah will sacrifice herself to save Roshar (and make some weird hand gesture which nobody will get), but Taln, knowing too well how bad the "needs of the many / needs of the few" can go for a person, will destroy an entire planet (Ashyn) in order to save her. Expect this couple to be as solid as rock (stone).

Adolash (Adolin and Shalash).
These are the best looking people on Roshar, and she's not going to have an issue with his murderous tendencies. She likes destroying stuff too!. Of course they're going to end up together. The Vorin nobility will be shocked at how quickly he breaks things off with the cute one (Shallan), but who can hate such beautiful people? Shalash will bring her adopted son to the relationship. Together, Adolash will adopt two more children before having their own child a couple years later and twins the year after that. It'll be quite the Kholin'Elin brood running about. They will publicly state an unwillingness to marry until Kaladin and Venli get the right to marry, but after almost a decade, they'll tie the knot anyways. Unfortunately, this one isn't meant to last, and they will break it off a couple years later. Hopefully, this story arc will satisfy @maxal.

Well, those are my picks. Which ones do you guys think I missed?

tl;dr Just wait until a certain (permanently) masked lady meets up with a humorous (and glowy) Herdazian!

[Steeldancer he/him]

Jasnah and Kaladin 

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

I don't want to smash your ships @Salkara, but Axies is confirmed per WoB to not make an appearance in Oathbringer. So any romance between him and Re-Shepir will have to wait until book 4.

 

Also, is Laral and Amaram really a thing?

Edited November 13, 2017 by Toaster Retribution

[Goatbringer he/him]

I'm gonna say the Lopen and his new hand (if ya catch my drift)

[Salkara]

16 minutes ago, Toaster Retribution said:

I don't want to smash your ships @Salkara, but Axies is confirmed per WoB to not make an appearance in Oathbringer. So any romance between him and Re-Shepir will have to wait until book 4.

Oh, I expect them to meet off scene, and all we're going to see is Re-Shephir making a Midnight Essence that looks like an Amian with a bunch of tattoos. Discerning readers will probably notice that one of the tattoos will be "Ax <3's RS," but we'll have to spend quite a bit of time deciphering the Amian script to get our proof.

Edit: just saw your bit about Amaram and Laral. Of course they're a thing, and they're very serious, just like everything else in my post .

Edited November 13, 2017 by Salkara

[What's a Seawolf?]

Lift and everyone's dinner.

(Hey, you said cereal.)

[Salkara]

7 minutes ago, What's a Seawolf? said:

Lift and everyone's dinner.

(Hey, you said cereal.)

Yeah, I thought about that, but Lift is just way too young. I doubt Brandon is going to set up a 13-year-old with some cradle-robbing dinner.

[The One Who Connects he/him]

1 minute ago, Salkara said:

Yeah, I thought about that, but Lift is just way too young. I doubt Brandon is going to set up a 13-year-old with some cradle-robbing dinner.

Book 4 is a year after Oathbringer, and the Back Half are 15-20 years later than that. Time passes you know

[Leyrann]

24 minutes ago, Salkara said:

Yeah, I thought about that, but Lift is just way too young. I doubt Brandon is going to set up a 13-year-old with some cradle-robbing dinner.

She's not too young for the back five.

[Salkara]

34 minutes ago, The One Who Connects said:

Book 4 is a year after Oathbringer, and the Back Half are 15-20 years later than that. Time passes you know

12 minutes ago, Leyrann said:

She's not too young for the back five.

I don't know if you guys are being serious or not. If you're joking, please stop. This is a serious thread (super serious), and we all know Lift doesn't age. It won't matter if the back 5 books are 100 years later. She'll still be too young.

[Fifth of Daybreak he/him]

Veil and Radiant.

[Steeldancer he/him]

Just now, Fifth of Daybreak said:

Veil and Radiant.

I need a JoeST thinking emoji right now 

[Leyrann]

1 minute ago, Fifth of Daybreak said:

Veil and Radiant.

I doubt Radiant likes girls...

So yeah, I'm going Shallan (confirmed by WoB) and Veil (who strikes me as the type).

[The One Who Connects he/him]

1 minute ago, Salkara said:

we all know Lift doesn't age.

Now I don't know if you're being serious. [Implications from Edgedancer]

[Fifth of Daybreak he/him]

9 minutes ago, Leyrann said:

I doubt Radiant likes girls...

If that's the case, it's only because Radiant doesn't have opinions on things she hasn't deliberated on beforehand. Give Veil a chance.

Edited November 13, 2017 by Fifth of Daybreak

[Steeldancer he/him]

1 minute ago, Fifth of Daybreak said:

If that's the case, it's only because Radiant doesn't have opinions on things she deliberated on beforehand. Give Veil a chance.

*tries to figure out how that would work......*

[Fifth of Daybreak he/him]

Just now, Steeldancer said:

*tries to figure out how that would work......*

Don't think. Feel.

[Steeldancer he/him]

Just now, Fifth of Daybreak said:

Don't think. Feel.

Whoa. Ok then 

[Fifth of Daybreak he/him]

Just now, Steeldancer said:

Whoa. Ok then 

This is a fun thread.

[Harbour he/him]

Navani+Dalinar is obvious conclusion, Shallan+Adolin gonna make it out i guess and Kaladin will be alone cause he need no one cause he has Sylgirl.

Also Jasnah+Amaram because i want it.

[Steeldancer he/him]

Just now, Fifth of Daybreak said:

This is a fun thread.

This brings to mind many questions about Lightweaving that... You know what? I don't want them answered. 

[Fifth of Daybreak he/him]

1 minute ago, Steeldancer said:

This brings to mind many questions about Lightweaving that... You know what? I don't want them answered. 

I was more going this direction. 

[Toaster Retribution he/him]

@Fifth of Daybreak Is that Mark Whalberg? Awesome! I'll ship him with Mraize.

[king of nowhere]

well, I already postulated that shallan will split her personalities more, and while vanilla/shallan will stay with adolin, veil will hook up with kaladin, and radiant will consider a political marriage to make peace with an enemy, and marry amaram. The three characters will remain oblivious to the true identity of their love interests for the better part of the book; near the end, they will discover that it's always the same shallan, but shallan will convince them all that she's actually three people in the same head, and so she can totally have a relationship with all three of them. She will also persuade the priests, on account of her not being dalinar; therefore they will allow her to marry three times for all her three personalities.

[Fifth of Daybreak he/him]

1 minute ago, Toaster Retribution said:

@Fifth of Daybreak Is that Mark Whalberg? Awesome! I'll ship him with Mraize.

Keanu Reeves

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lake_House_(film)

Edited November 13, 2017 by Fifth of Daybreak