Sami she/her Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 (edited) I noticed that there were a lot of musicians on here. So...... here all you musicians can post musician jokes, talk about your bad sight-reading skills, and bemoan your musician fates. Edited September 5, 2017 by Sami 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrikerEZ he/him Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 Where has this been all my life? 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Sunbird she/her Posted September 5, 2017 Popular Post Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 This is one of my all-time favorite videos: 28 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sami she/her Posted September 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 (edited) Edited February 6, 2019 by Sami 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird she/her Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 Disclaimer: I have no idea what this notation means either. XD 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightwalker he/him Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 I can totally relate to this. 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Young Bard he/him Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 I wonder what a piece of music in wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey would sound like... 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Modal Seoul he/him Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 Him: So what instrument do you play? Me: I play the viola! Him: Oh. (pause) What difference does that make? Me: (pause) What? Him: I mean, why do you play it? Did you injure yourself as a child? Is that why you can't play the violin? Me: Uhhhh, no, I can play the violin. I just like playing the viola more. Him: (Gets up) (leaves room) Me: (Blinks several times) (Shrugs) (takes out viola) (Begins to practice) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sami she/her Posted September 5, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 (edited) 14 hours ago, Captains Domon said: Him: So what instrument do you play? Me: I play the viola! Him: Oh. (pause) What difference does that make? Me: (pause) What? Him: I mean, why do you play it? Did you injure yourself as a child? Is that why you can't play the violin? Me: Uhhhh, no, I can play the violin. I just like playing the viola more. Him: (Gets up) (leaves room) Me: (Blinks several times) (Shrugs) (takes out viola) (Begins to practice) LOL!!!! Violas are underrated. They barely get any attention, and barely anyone knows what they are. [insert viola joke] disclaimer: I don't play viola (I play violin), but my sister does Edited September 6, 2017 by Sami 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StormyQueen she/her Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 20 minutes ago, Sami said: LOL!!!! Violas are underrated. They barely get any attention, and barely anyone knows what they are. [insert viola joke] disclaimer: I don't play viola, but my sister does and studies it at uni Viola jokes. The best kind of music jokes. How can you tell if a viola is playing out of tune? The bow moves. What is the difference between the first and last viola desks? About half a bar. (And these are the ones I have heard from viola players) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Faceless Mist-Wraith he/him Posted September 5, 2017 Popular Post Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 These are all great! One of my favorite pieces of music, despite never playing or hearing it: Spoiler 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snipexe he/him Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 (edited) If you look really closely at the instrument... Edited September 5, 2017 by snipexe 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird she/her Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 @snipexe LOL, that's a bass, not a cello. Q: How do you tune two oboes? A: Shoot one. (I play oboe, so I'm allowed to poke fun ) 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrikerEZ he/him Posted September 5, 2017 Report Share Posted September 5, 2017 (edited) Q: How many clarinets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One, but they'll go through an entire box before they find the right one. Edited September 9, 2017 by StrikerEZ 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sami she/her Posted September 6, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2017 (edited) *cringe* Edited September 6, 2017 by Sami 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faceless Mist-Wraith he/him Posted September 6, 2017 Report Share Posted September 6, 2017 I play violin and my brother plays viola, so I know a few viola jokes. Q: How do you keep your violin from being stolen? A: Put it in a viola case. A viola player goes to a convenience store to get a drink. However just as he is paying, he realizes that he left his viola case out in plain view. He rushed back to his car, but it was already too late...someone had already broke in and left 3 more violas. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird she/her Posted September 6, 2017 Report Share Posted September 6, 2017 Q: What is the definition of a gentleman? A: A man who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't. 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sami she/her Posted September 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 Q: How do you know when a singer's at your door? A: They can't find the key and they never know when to come in 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird she/her Posted September 7, 2017 Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 @Sami That one can be adapted for any voice part: How do you know when a soprano is at the door? Or an alto/tenor/bass. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sami she/her Posted September 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 Just now, Sunchicken said: @Sami That one can be adapted for any voice part: How do you know when a soprano is at the door? Or an alto/tenor/bass. I saw another one about singers but it's kinda mean..... Q: How do you tell the difference between an opera singer and a pit bull? A: Lipstick 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird she/her Posted September 7, 2017 Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 @Sami XD Many music jokes are kinda mean since they tend to pick on the different players. For example: Q: What's the only advantage a bassoon has over an oboe? A: It burns longer. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sami she/her Posted September 7, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 1 minute ago, Sunchicken said: @Sami XD Many music jokes are kinda mean since they tend to pick on the different players. For example: Q: What's the only advantage a bassoon has over an oboe? A: It burns longer. LOLLLLL oh well, that's why only musicians can make them. That way the other instrumentalists can retaliate in kind: Q: What's the definition of a minor second? A: Two flutes playing a unison. Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune. Coincidentally, my same sister also plays flute.... 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaymyth she/her Posted September 7, 2017 Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 On 9/5/2017 at 9:27 AM, Sunchicken said: @snipexe LOL, that's a bass, not a cello. Q: How do you tune two oboes? A: Shoot one. (I play oboe, so I'm allowed to poke fun ) Oh, the bad oboe jokes have begun! (Every oboist knows that there's no such thing as a good oboe joke.) I do remember noticing that the jokes disappeared in college. Because that's the point where we start learning reed adjustment techniques. Nobody wants to mess with the only folks in band or orchestra who are allowed to carry knives. 11 hours ago, Sami said: LOLLLLL oh well, that's why only musicians can make them. That way the other instrumentalists can retaliate in kind: Q: What's the definition of a minor second? A: Two flutes playing a unison. Flute players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune. Coincidentally, my same sister also plays flute.... You know, it's actually not difficult to play a flute in tune. It's just an instrument that has an unfortunate tendency to attract timid players who aren't putting in enough breath support to keep it steady. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sunbird she/her Posted September 9, 2017 Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 (edited) Q: What's the difference between an onion and a viola? A: You cry while you chop up an onion. Q: What do you do with a tone-deaf trumpet? A: Take away his trumpet, give him a pair of sticks, and make him a drummer. Q: What do you do with a drummer who has no sense of rhythm? A: Take away one of sticks and make him the conductor. Edited September 9, 2017 by Sunchicken 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sami she/her Posted September 9, 2017 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2017 (edited) From my sister, the violist: 'The difference between violin and viola is that the viola is a violin with a college education.' (Attributed to William Primrose) obviously it's the other way around: 'The difference between violin and viola is that the violin is a viola with a college education.' (Attributed to Sami) Edited September 9, 2017 by Sami 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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