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Shards Against Humanity: The Crowdsourced Deck


Necessary Eagle

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As per the discussion in the main Cards Against The Cosmere thread.

Submit your suggestions here, and once there's enough of them, someone will hopefully be able to make a deck out of the best ones. If you're not sure if something would make a better black card or white card, write it both ways. The already-existing CATC decks are here and here.

Black cards:

The secret's out: Adonalsium was shattered because of ____.

Rejected command for Nightblood: "Destroy ____."

There are some things even 17th Sharders won't speculate about about, and ____ is one of them.

At Silverlight University, ____ is a required course.

Sazed opened his portfolio, read about the religion that worshiped ____, and decided he'd had enough for the day.

 

White cards:

Wayne disguised as a stripper

Prank wars at the Steel Ministry

Adonalsium

Destroying evil

Lifeless squirrels

Lightsong's wacky after-after-afterlife adventures

Speculationspren

Retconning Calamity as a Shard

Khriss's research notes

Yolen

Edited by Necessary Eagle
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Hm...
The Wobbinator 4000.
Using the Stormlight Archive boxset as a weapon.
Hoid's instant noodles.
Going on Coppermind Wiki because you couldn't remember someone's hair colour, then spending an hour reading about Realmatic Theory.
A coinshot who crashes into birds.

Unknown to us all, the real secret behind the Cosmere is _____.

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Hmm I'll start my own list that I'll add to.  I'll spoiler it for adult content :P

Spoiler

 

Questions

(Will get back to questions)

Answers

Endowment

Sucking the investiture out of an Iriali's golden hair

A Dysian Aimian Dominatrix

The exquisite prickliness of Szeth's head-stubble

A conga-line of Southern Scadrians

Eshonai taking on featherform

The Shard of Pity

Spiking a mantis shrimp for its ability to see polarized light 

Hoid's Szechuan noodles

Raoden's love child

A beggar disguised as Hoid

Three chickens, two sky eels and a keg

Dalinar in a schoolgirl costume

The Rhythm of Confused Arousal

A Shardfeather

Nazh's sentient sky eel

A Ham sandwich

...

 

 

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One of the less obvious uses of a Hemalurgic spike is ____

Upon Ascension, every new Shard becomes uncomfortably aware of ___

After the Well emptied, ____ was left there, forgotten 

Spoilered for similar reasons to @Extesian

Spoiler

A "shard-on" 

Vibration Fabrials 

The Shard of Schadenfreude

Priapism 

Kandra body doubles

 

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This is gonna have two levels of spoilers, just in case

Spoiler

Black cards:

Hoid's secret kink is ____

In a strange turn of events, a particular Snapping involved  ____

Tanavast would never admit to being a fan of  ____

Returned don’t have children because of  ____

Scadrians usually try to convinve themselves that thoughts about  ____ are Ruin’s insertion

____ is what attracts spren for Listener form that makes  ____ possible

After Honor’s death, Cultivation comforted herself with  ____

Brandon RAFO’d when asked how long until we get to see ____

"17thShard: We get so caught up on the magical that we forget about the  ____" (if @The One Who Connects is OK with this)

"____ is not something that would be a common use for Hemalurgy. Let’s just say that." (Brandon Sanderson, March 21st 2017)

 

White cards:

Everything changing when the Fjordell Empire attacked

Horror Shard driving everyone insane

Bloodmakers getting off by living through suicide

Hoid orchestrating Shattering to get those Szechuan instant noodles

Nine more trilogies

Slavery with extra steps

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

are you sure you want to peek here? Sexual content warning:

Spoiler

Black cards:

 

White cards:

Vibrating Cryptics

Awakening bondage

Auto-erotic asphyxiation with cadmium Feruchemy

Speedbubble blowjobs

Kandra with tentacle fetish

Enlargements with Surge of Progression

Masturbating to gold shadow

Kinkshaming Hemalurgy

Extremely well-endowed Returned

Soul Forgery roleplay

It was longer but the editor bugged and I had to rework a larger part of that from memory. Some things are probably missing and I'll probably never remember them again.

Edited by Oversleep
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The worst part of being tortured on Braize is ____.

In retrospect, Awakening ____ might not have been the best idea.

This is the way the Cosmere ends/ Not with a bang, but _____.

"I'm so stormin' pure I practically belch ____."

 

Bavadin in a wig and Groucho glasses

Death rattles

Austerism*

Two spheres

Shipping, like, ALL the Shardholders

Lifeguards at the shardpool

The Book of Endless Pages

Cognitive shadow puppets

One's NSFWhand

 

*Is that spelled right?

 

 

Edited by Necessary Eagle
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  • 2 weeks later...

Hope it's not too late to add a few of my own, @Necessary Eagle.

Black:

Went to the Coppermind to research _, ended up reading about _

The Recreance occurred because the Knights Radiant discovered _

It turns out Shades can also be destroyed using _.

The Evil on Threnody is actually just _.

The newest Aviar discovered has the power to show you _.

At a recent signing, Brandon RAFO'd questions about _.

White

Shadolin Shaladin ship wars

Parshendi mateform

the number 16

 

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On 9/7/2017 at 11:22 PM, thegatorgirl00 said:

Hope it's not too late to add a few of my own, @Necessary Eagle.

As far as I know, no one's made a deck yet.

No idea how many cards need to proposed first. I suppose it depends if you're using everything posted, or picking and choosing among the best.

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"I am the one thing you can never kill. I am _____."

Faking sex with the God-King

A Girl Named William

Innuendos about Endowment

Aluminum

 

EDIT: I thought it was no open spoilers outside of spoiler boards? Then what's the purpose of spoiler tags?

 

Edited by Necessary Eagle
Sorry, no OB spoilers outside OB board
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...

NSFW warning

So this is what I've put in the deck so far

Black:

Spoiler

 

_ is _ favorite kink.
  
_ fantasizes about _
  
Going on Coppermind Wiki because you couldn't remember _, then spending an hour reading about _.
  
I am the one thing you can never kill. I am _.
  
At a recent signing, Brandon RAFO'd questions about _.
  
The newest Aviar discovered has the power to show you _.
  
The Evil on Threnody is actually just _.
  
It turns out Shades can also be destroyed using _.
  
The Recreance occurred because the Knights Radiant discovered _.
  
Went to the Coppermind to research _, ended up reading about _.
  
I'm so stormin' pure I practically belch _.
  
In retrospect, Awakening _ might not have been the best idea.
  
The worst part of being tortured on Braize is _.
  
_ is not something that would be a common use for Hemalurgy. Let’s just say that.
  
"17thShard: We get so caught up on the _ that we forget about the _.
  
Brandon RAFO’d when asked how long until we get to see _.
  
After Honor’s death, Cultivation comforted herself with _.
  
_ is what attracts spren for Listener form that makes _ possible.
  
_ is the form MeLaan to to make Wayne happy.
  
Scadrians usually try to convinve themselves that thoughts about _ are Ruin’s insertion.
  
Returned don’t have children because of _.
  
Tanavast would never admit to being a fan of _.
  
In a strange turn of events, a particular Snapping involved _.
  
Hoid's secret kink is _.
  
Upon Ascension, every new Shard becomes uncomfortably aware of _.
  
One of the less obvious uses of a Hemalurgic spike is _.
  
Unknown to us all, the real secret behind the Cosmere is _.
  
Sazed opened his portfolio, read about the religion that worshiped _ and decided he'd had enough for the day.
  
At Silverlight University, _ is a required course.
  
There are some things even 17th Sharders won't speculate about about, and _ is one of them.
  
Rejected command for Nightblood: "Destroy _".
  
The secret's out: Adonalsium was shattered because of _.

 

 

White:

Spoiler


a shard-condom

 
aluminum
  
faking sex with the God-King
  
the number 16
  
parshendi mateform
  
shadolin Shaladin ship wars
  
one's NSFWhand
  
cognitive shadow puppets
  
the Book of Endless Pages
  
lifeguards at the shardpool
  
shipping, like, ALL the Shardholders
  
two spheres
  
austerism*
  
death rattles
  
bavadin in a wig and Groucho glasses
  
innuendos about Endowment
  
vibrating Cryptics
  
soul Forgery roleplay
  
masturbating to gold shadow
  
enlargements with Surge of Progression
  
kandra with tentacle fetish
  
speedbubble blowjobs
  
auto-erotic asphyxiation with cadmium Feruchemy
  
awakening bondage
  
kinkshaming Hemalurgy
  
slavery with extra steps
  
nine more trilogies
  
hoid orchestrating Shattering to get those Szechuan instant noodles
  
bloodmakers getting off by living through suicide
  
horror Shard driving everyone insane
  
everything changing when the Fjordell Empire attacked
  
extremely well-endowed Returned
  
kandra body doubles
  
priapism
  
the Shard of Schadenfreude
  
vibration Fabrials
  
a "shard-on"
  
endowment
  
a Ham sandwich
  
a Shardfeather
  
the Rhythm of Confused Arousal
  
dalinar in a schoolgirl costume
  
three chickens, two sky eels and a keg
  
a beggar disguised as Hoid
  
raoden's love child
  
hoid's Szechuan noodles
  
spiking a mantis shrimp for its ability to see polarized light
  
the Shard of Pity
  
eshonai taking on featherform
  
a conga-line of Southern Scadrians
  
the exquisite prickliness of Szeth's head-stubble
  
a Dysian Aimian Dominatrix
  
sucking the investiture out of an Iriali's golden hair
  
nazh's sentient sky eel
  
spren "servicing" their radient
  
spren orgies
  
a coinshot who crashes into birds
  
hoid's instant noodles
  
using the Stormlight Archive boxset as a weapon
  
the Wobbinator 4000
  
yolen
  
khriss's research notes
  
wayne disguised as a stripper
  
speculationspren
  
lightsong's wacky after-after-afterlife adventures
  
lifeless squirrels
  
destroying evil
  
adonalsium
  
prank wars at the Steel Ministry
  
retconning Calamity as a Shard
 
Edited by Silverblade5
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20 hours ago, Silverblade5 said:

Going on Coppermind Wiki because you couldn't remember _, then spending an hour reading about _.

 

20 hours ago, Silverblade5 said:

Went to the Coppermind to research _, ended up reading about _.

These two are very similar. I would suggest removing one of them. 

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