Cosmere Limericks

[+Extesian he/him]

Adolin won't be a Lightweaver,

Elsecaller, Windrunner, Releaser,

Stoneward, Skybreaker, 

Bondmith, Willshaper, 

Truthwatcher or Edgedancer either.

[Nathrangking he/him]

The set worked to stay hidden

Until the the begginning of their plan was bidden 

wax found out

and gave out a shout

and their plot was overridden. 

[Calderis he/him]

She asked that she never would change, 

But she received a power quite strange, 

She steals people's treats, 

And glows when she eats, 

Lift will always be somewhat deranged. 

[Nathrangking he/him]

They were thought of as dust

none cared if they got hurt

Led by a leader

they speak to the reader

to love bridge four is a must.

[Calderis he/him]

A path to survival's been provided, 

But the Diagram is e'er more misguided, 

So we wait with fear, 

And hope the day's near, 

When Taravangian again is foresighted. 

[17th Splinter he/him]

Both Calderis and Extesian

Are real great at reasonin'

But on this thread

I'll laugh till I'm dead

At their hilarious limerick creations

 

Kal used most his storm light

On the way to a fight

And up in sky

Szeth realizes why 

The things he had done we not right

Edited August 14, 2017 by 17th Splinter

[Nathrangking he/him]

There once was a spren named Syl,

whose personality opposed the thrill.

She was bound to honor,

Without it she was a goner.

and her regrets were nil.

 

[17th Splinter he/him]

Arclo the Dysian Aimian

No one knows what he's doin'

Asked Lift what body part she was

Which is weird since he's made of bugs

We need a PoV from him

[Nathrangking he/him]

Lift has a love of food, she is always in the mood.

And her logic is most skewed.

She eats to power

each and every hour.

Her humor is most crude.

[17th Splinter he/him]

Wyndle is a vine

He really likes to whine

Now he's a shardfork

To help Lift eat her pork

And only whines in his freetime

 

The Everstorm is here

To destroy all we hold dear

The spren of Odium

With it will come

You should scream in fear

 

A sphere of black

Gavilar to Szeth begat

Hidden in Jah Keved

The 17th shard scratches its head

In Sanderson's purpose in that

 

I Died! I Died!

Said Szeth as he opened his eyes

I have a sword for you

To slice your enemies in two

And now his soul is not the right size

 

 

 

Edited August 14, 2017 by 17th Splinter

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

I just found this thread... I've run out of upvotes...

ALSO:

On 6/15/2017 at 11:18 AM, Calderis said:

A figure vastly over rated, 

By its fans, the Shard is inundated, 

"I am a stick," 

"I am a stick," 

I wish it was incinerated. 

I mean, the writing is excellently crafted, and you get an upvote for that. But still! You insulted my stick!

Deploying poetry.

 

---

 

I hope you like my limerick

You know what about; I'll make it quick

It wouldn't be fire

Much to Shallan's ire

It insisted "I am a Stick."

 

Kelsier always smiles

And dresses in nobleman styles

He's known for surviving

He's very conniving

Hathsin the first of his trials

 

Once, the was a desolation

Then it stopped without explanation

"We've won," everyone had said

"The Voidbringers are all dead!"

Turns out that was a miscalculation!

 

There's a god named Lightsong the Bold

Could never catch so much as a cold

He laughed when people thought he was divine

And spent most of his time drinking wine

But to save the world, his life he sold

 

Nightwatcher grants a request

But don't put her to the test

There's much to gain

But beware the bane

Be careful, I suggest

[Nathrangking he/him]

There was a listener named Rlain,

whose mission was split in twain.

He became a guard,

to leave them was hard.

And his betrayal caused him pain.

[Calderis he/him]

From Narak, few Listeners could flee, 

The others had chose bended knee, 

So the old gods return, 

To slaughter and burn, 

From their forms, this last remnant stayed free. 

Edited August 15, 2017 by Calderis

[Ciridae]

Their witlessness drove him nuts,

He told them their mouthes should stay shut,

To get some quiet,

You really should try it, 

Hoid lived in a greatshell's guts

 

Edit: whoops this wasn't meant as a comment on the content of this thread, I honestly love all of these limericks, just as a joke about Hoid complaining about never having any intellectually stimulating company. Sorry if that came across poorly

Edited August 24, 2017 by Ciridae

[Nathrangking he/him]

Elokhar gets annoyed

When someone calls him paranoid.

He jumps at figments

they leave him without pigments.

And he fears death's void.

 

 

[Djarskublar he/him]

There once was a man named Calderis
Who crafted a pun about fair Khriss
The pun was quite bad
But was all to be had
So was naught to do but forgive this.

That was pretty bad... maybe another.

We have all come to the Shard
Crafting theories is really quite hard
When we get Word of Brandon
An ovation we're standin'
And my brain becomes heavily charred.

That's a bit better.

[Calderis he/him]

@Djarskublar welcome to the thread. I appreciate proper limerick structure. 

And I make no apologies for any of my puns

[Steeldancer he/him]

I am quite a really tall nerd. 

I used to be free as a bird!

But now I just sit,

On my phone as I list,

Crazy theories on Sanderson's words. 

[Djarskublar he/him]

2 hours ago, Calderis said:

@Djarskublar welcome to the thread. I appreciate proper limerick structure. 

And I make no apologies for any of my puns

I second both of those sentiments. A few of these were frankly painful to read while trying to somehow make them fit. For those who don't know/remember, the structure is AABBA for rhyme and 9/9/6/6/9 for beats with the emphasis on the third beat in triples (though in my head I always seem to do 8/8/5/5/10). I guess I need to contribute another if I'm posting here tho, so here goes... Edgedancer spoilers, I guess.

There once was an Aimian cremling
The main body it was assembling
Up the leg in a rush
In the gut was a crush
The sight left Lift all a'trembling.

[Calderis he/him]

25 minutes ago, Djarskublar said:

For those who don't know/remember, the structure is AABBA for rhyme and 9/9/6/6/9 for beats with the emphasis on the third beat in triples

I was aware of the AABBA, and knew the length should be matching on rhyming lines with B roughly half the length of A, but didn't know the actual beat counts. 

Thank you. 

Many of my own limericks already felt like they were stretching things, and now I'd have to assume their even lower quality than I thought. Heh. 

There will always be room to improve,

And we'll never learn if we don't move, 

So thanks for the advice, 

won't be needing it twice, 

Now my limericks fit the right groove. 

 

It's bad, but it's right by damnation. 

Edited August 18, 2017 by Calderis

[Djarskublar he/him]

Heh, yours were generally the best in the thread. There were some that were generally missing even the rhyme though, so I just pretend they were freeform. I have a very similar meter in my head, but I looked at it on wikipedia to make sure, which is why I mention it's different in my head.

[+Extesian he/him]

Ha yeah, I always had a head meter canon but didn't realize that was the proper structure (with the third beat). I think the only one I ever got properly right was this piece of stupidity

Quote

Adolin. Adolin! Adolin?

Kaladin. Kaladin? Kaladin!

Shallan! Shallan! 

Shallan? Shallan!

Shadolin? Shaladin? Kadolin! 

 

[Calderis he/him]

Known as "heretic," she struggled on, 

To convince them Voidbringers aren't gone,

We think them forbidden, 

While our homes are ridden,

Jasnah knew that the Vorins were conned. 

[Nathrangking he/him]

A lost kingdom was shattered

to most that never mattered

none know why

and scholars do sigh

and the scholarship is quite tattered.

[Rhaegar'Elin he/him]

There was a girl who found everything odd

but to trade with the Reshi, showed to be bold.

Her legs were broken

but she got a token:

a larkin, gift from a god.