Cosmere Limericks

[FiveLate]

I hate autocorrect with a passion

It really needs a solid lashin 

It makes me look like a moron

It should be something you can depend on

But common sense it seems to ration.

 

[Calderis he/him]

The Sleepless are hidden in plain sight, 

Unseen spies skittering by moonlight, 

They're creepy and crawly, 

And know Vorin folly, 

In believing that we've won the fight. 

Edited March 28, 2018 by Calderis

[ryshadium90]

Oathbringer

Spoiler

I really shouldn't be reading this

As chapters come and for answers I fish

But more mysteries appear

For my mind do I fear

Would the 14th be tomorrow I wish

(14th as in when the book actually comes out.)

 

[Calderis he/him]

A warlord of most fright'ning renown, 

Was drunk when his brother was struck down, 

He's forgotten his wife, 

And the Codes changed his life, 

Dalinar's the most badchull around. 

[Nathrangking he/him]

There once was a slave named Kal,

Who became the bodyguard for Dal,

he became a radiant

who stood above all gradient 

and whose content is not always mal.

Edited September 15, 2017 by Nathrangking

[Confused]

Since this thread refuses to die, I’ll consolidate my “theory” limericks here. These are the summaries of my “Magic System Components” posts. I’ve linked the posts themselves for context.

General Theory

All systems have Fuel and are Focused.
Shards added a User and Catalyst.
Mortals now can direct
Their own magic effect,
Like becoming a soul-forging analyst.

Fuel

Each system is powered by Fuel
Without which no magic can do.
Fuel’s usually Physical,
But sometimes it’s Spiritual,
Since Catalysts bring power too.

Focus

A Focus determines which power
Is available and in what manner.
Each Focus is linked
To one power, I think,
And Khriss calls this process “an Investiture.”

User

Only sapient beings are Users.
Their mind directs magic and chooses
The magic’s effect,
And what they select
Through their Spiritweb outpours and oozes.

Catalyst

A “Catalyst” this substance Khriss calls,
For Shard power a Catalyst installs.
Composed of Shard essence,
Its heated tumescence
Adds energy to break through Realm walls.

Lines 9-10 of Yeats’ “Leda and the Swan” inspired the last two lines of this limerick. That sonnet describes how Zeus, in the form of a swan, assaulted Leda, who birthed Helen of Troy and the Trojan War.

[Calderis he/him]

Mysteriously beautiful Ash, 

Converts valuable treasures to trash, 

Her statues get broken,

And little is spoken, 

Of the madness that's claiming Shallash. 

 

[Sparkrunner he/him]

There once was a man called Nalan

Who wanted to kill Kal and Shallan

But foiled by lift

He got short shrift

Couldn't face desolations like a man

(Oh, man that last line is awful)

 

(These are a little bit better)

Major WoT spoilers-
 

Spoiler

The Aiel once sang to the trees

Were friends to the flowers and bees

But then they were cast out

By the trollocs en route

And failed the Car'a'carn's needs

 

They came from the land called Shaara

That land was a great ways too far, ah

Surprised the Aes Sedai

Who said "My oh my!"

As the Channelers burnt them to char, ah!

(Ok, maybe not)

 

Rand let him loose without rein

That Dragon they called Mazrim Taim

But once he turned Chosen

Black Tower brutally awoken

To the reality of his dark fame

 

 

Edited September 15, 2017 by Roadwalker
Yay someone liked it!

[ryshadium90]

There once was a lonely prince

Who looked gray and shabby ever since

The Shaod took his life

And he dealt with the strife

To discover the magical hints

[Calderis he/him]

Fearsome and fearless he seeks their deaths, 

Twisting the the laws, to extinguish breaths, 

Nale, Nin, Nalan, Darkness, 

Startling in his starkness, 

He'll soon strike at the shamans with Szeth. 

[Nathrangking he/him]

A mercenary named Jewels

came equipped with the right tools. 

She had clod

who was a scholar with a mod

and used breath as fuels.

[ryshadium90]

There once was a sword of black

Who wouldn't give anyone slack

Evil he would destroy

Of murder or a stolen toy

He's got - or'll be in - your back

[1stBondsmith he/him]

Spoiler

 

You've been poisoned, but death is too slow.

North of Amia's now where you go.

Only your foot would land

On the cursed strip of sand,

Now forever as smoke will you blow.

 

Oathbringer Interlude reading warning:

Edited October 2, 2017 by 1stBondsmith
typos

[StoneWalker he/him]

There once was a man named Fleet

Whose skill and speed was complete

He challenged the Highstorm

But the Winds followed no more

And was forced to admit its defeat

[+Extesian he/him]

Coz I had to

credit to @Excelsius for posting on Discord 

[Calderis he/him]

It's that time again, and now we can do Oathbringer Limericks. Have at. 

 

The Assassin Returned with a sword, 

And its presence could not be ignored, 

When unsheathed and unleashed, 

Nightblood's thirst is a beast,

It's a weapon that should be abhorred. 

 

The battle seemed to have been won, 

By the turning of men who were shunned, 

But then with a decree, 

Claimed "I am Unity."

What seemed all so certain was undone. 

 

A poor start, but I know we can do better. 

 

Edited March 24, 2018 by Calderis

[Walin he/him]

After getting some squires

Kaladin found new hires

But they didn't replace Bridge Four

Because they got trapped near a door

And the Windrunner escaped with some liars

[Calderis he/him]

Kaladin, Shallan, and Adolin, 

The sources of all the Shard's trollin', 

The triangle's gone,

But the ships battle on, 

Denying her last name is Kholin. 

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

On the peak of some Reshi Island,
While her Babsk was shipbound and dyin'
A foolish Rysn,
Thought she could win,
But she found that she's no good at flyin'

Edited December 13, 2017 by hoiditthroughthegrapevine

[digitalbusker he/him]

Well, I am a stick; I'm a stick.

Yes, I am a stick; I'm a stick.

A stick? I'm a stick.

A stick! I'm a stick!

A stick, I'm a stick; I'm a stick.

(Wrong book, and I can't be the first to make this joke, but I couldn't help myself.)

On looked some desperate folk

As Renarin expected to choke

He smiled at the Fused

Saw they were confused

"Don't worry, you didn't miss the joke."

Edited December 13, 2017 by Ookla the Busker
Renarin

[+Extesian he/him]

A sharder, a friend, called Cal, seems to be in some kind of lull. He's repeating his thread. To get some more cred. So I'll repost, and sound like a chull.

Adolin Adolin Adolin. Kaladin, Kaladin. Kaladin! Shallan! Shallan! Shallan? Shallan! Shadolin? Shaladin? Kadolin!!

[Shqueeves]

[Redacted] [Redacted] [Redacted]

[Redacted] [Redacted] [Redacted]

[Redacted] [Redacted]

[Redacted] [Redacted]

[Redacted] [Redacted] [Redacted]

Edited December 13, 2017 by Ookla that Watches
To fit the SYLlable format for proper limericks

[bionova he/him]

Timbre's Tempo

bip bip Bop, bip bip Boop, bip bip Beep;

My poor soul Venli did closely keep.

         Odium's all a ragin',

         The Unmade, man's cagin'

But my troubles are all growing deep.

[Nathrangking he/him]

You cannot have my pain,

Roared this book's main.

He startled a shard,

and played a trump card. 

Dalinar became Odium,s bane.

 

[digitalbusker he/him]

Now this Limerick will be a true beauty,

Because Teft has just drawn Limerick duty.

...

...

Storm it, somebody go find Teft.