Straw Guys. (Bad pun.)

[Sparkrunner he/him]

"Three Claws, I TOLD YOU TO GUARD THAT VOLE!"

Sorry about that, I "OR I'll CUT YOU TAIL OFF YOU BUCKTOOTHED CROSSEYED WEASEL!"

*Ahem.* Sorry about Cluny. Let me explain. Once upon a time, a guy told me to get a life. So, I read books. This gave me life. (I suspect many of you can relate.) Unfortunately, before I was able to stumble upon the awesome life the Cosmere could have given me, I stumbled upon Redwall. I have officially read the books 76 times. (I have read High Rulain 14 times, but Mattimeo only twice.) Thus, I am one part worldhopper and two parts evil rat or long patrol hare. I have observed the workings of the cosmere for a long time, read all the books, (except for Warbreaker) and have also long been a part of "HALF TAIL! ONEEYE! LEAD YOUR SQUADS AND KILL THOSE DANG GOUSIM!" the seventeenth shard, though I have not had an account for long. I do not want any cookies, but I would like it if someone could tell me a good mafia or role-playing place for beginners.

[Modal Seoul he/him]

"I am Matthias! I am that is!" Welcome to the Shard! Have an upvote.

I'll tell the devil you sent me.

[cloudjumper he/him]

Hi, and welcome to the Shard! I haven't read many of the Redwall books, but I'm sure that you'll be able to find at least some fans here. As for the mafia, there's a link in my signature below, or you can just click here. If you wait long enough, there should be a game sooner or later. If you're a beginner, then I would recommend joining a shorter game first and reading this first, but you don't have to if you want. There is also role-playing section here as well. Currently active is a Hogwarts Roleplay, and also the Reckoners RPG, which has been going on for several years now so it might be a little harder to catch up with everything that has happened so far.

[Straw he/him]

WHO HAS SUMMONED ME FROM THE PITS OF DARKNESS! *ahem*

Glad to see someone interested in Mafia! I for one, am often playing SE (AKA Mafia) and would recommend you join LG33: Life.

[I Am Witless she/her]

Ooooooooooooh, another person who learned to love fantasy/scifi through Redwall! Welcome, @Cluny the Scourge, to the 17th Shard! 

[Riversong she/her]

Welcome to the Shard! 

I know you don't want any cookies, but...

[Zennix he/him]

Welcome to the Shard! Have an upvote! 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

8 hours ago, Straw said:

WHO HAS SUMMONED ME FROM THE PITS OF DARKNESS! *ahem*

Glad to see someone interested in Mafia! I for one, am often playing SE (AKA Mafia) and would recommend you join LG33: Life.

What the hell man. I told you to stay away from me 

Welcome @Cluny the Scourge, I for one have never Readwall, despite seeing the books at the library multiple times heh. Welcome to the shard and have a cookie and an upvote!

[Rage he/him]

EULALLLLLLLLIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAA! DEATH ON THE WIND, GIVE THEM BLOOD AND VINEGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Farnsworth]

If you're a redwall fan, you can probably relate to my unfortunate situation of being a weasel stuck in a statue.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

A new sharder, and an active one, seeing as I'm finding your posts all over.

The redwall series used to be my favorite, a few years back. That was before I discovered the cosmere, but still... I too have read all the books, most of them multiple times over. Excellent books.

And I am pleased to see you interested in Sanderson Elimination! I assure you, we have a quite lively mafia community here.

The only thing I might not be pleased about is you're apparent vendetta against the dark alley. We'll have to work on that. But other than that! Welcome!

[Sparkrunner he/him]

So many people who have read Redwall! It's a small world.

“Oh, ‘twas on the umpty-ninth of spring,
When a duck blew on a trumpet,
I led me army from behind,
To the battle of the final crumpet.
Some wore boots an’ some wore clogs,
An’ some wore big long faces,
An’ two fat moles fell down with colds,
Before we’d marched ten paces.
At the battle of the final crumpet,
I very near lost me life,
When I go punched upon the nose,
By a big bad hedgehog’s wife.
Then all broke out in mutiny,
When a mouse with a mustache said,
‘Lie down me lads afore they charge,
So they’ll think we’re all dead!’
Well there we sat while all around,
The spears an’ shafts were thuddin’,
A-drinkin’ goosegog cordial wine,
An’ eatin’ cabbage pudden’.

We finally defeated them,
When the duck tripped on his trumpet,
An’ I got a feather in me cap,
Cos I ate the final crumpet!”

[Nazianzen]

On 4/24/2017 at 6:44 PM, Cluny the Scourge said:

I have officially read the books 76 times. (I have read High Rulain 14 times, but Mattimeo only twice.)

I have observed the workings of the cosmere for a long time, read all the books, (except for Warbreaker).

Hello, Cluny!

(1) So, to clarify: your tally of reading individual Redwall books (including re-reads) is 76? Eulalia, that is a lot! I read most of them once. I don't re-read many things and I can't imagine how re-reading that many times would affect a person. George Steiner said that remembering (including re-reading) is literally a form of re-membering—like re-constituting your personhood.

Spoiler

It's like how reading those children's stories over and over again made Susebron who he is.

I guess if I could rescript myself with the words and themes of any series, Redwall wouldn't be a bad choice. I bet you're a cool dude.

(2) Read Warbreaker. It's great, one of my top five favorite Cosmere books. There's a character in it (whom I referenced in the spoiler above—don't peek) that I think you would love and sympathize with.