Question 19

[Blaze1616 he/him]

*perks up at Lantern Corps* Who did what now?

[Edgedancer he/him]

Just now, Blaze1616 said:

*perks up at Lantern Corps* Who did what now?

Shiny Sparkle as a Star Sapphire, not finished yet but first part in WHOOC topic.

[Blaze1616 he/him]

mmm, was good. I require more Edgedancer. I require more. 

[Edgedancer he/him]

2 minutes ago, Blaze1616 said:

mmm, was good. I require more Edgedancer. I require more. 

It will come after I finish the next Corvallis post.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

12 minutes ago, Edgedancer said:

Shiny Sparkle as a Star Sapphire, not finished yet but first part in WHOOC topic.

In which Shiny refuses the call to save the universe in favor of a higher calling: love.

[Edgedancer he/him]

49 minutes ago, TwiLyghtSansSparkles said:

In which Shiny refuses the call to save the universe in favor of a higher calling: love.

If you want to call it love, then of course she is.

[Quiver he/him]

11 hours ago, Edgedancer said:

Shiny Sparkle as a Star Sapphire, not finished yet but first part in WHOOC topic.

My only regret is that I have but one update to give.

Also, "not into corpses". Have we finally found the line Shiny won't cross, or is that just a significant how non-canon this is? 

[Edgedancer he/him]

2 hours ago, Quiver said:

My only regret is that I have but one update to give.

Also, "not into corpses". Have we finally found the line Shiny won't cross, or is that just a significant how non-canon this is? 

And what update would that be?

She doesn't get a kick out of corpses because they don't react. If it was sapient enough she'd take an undead.

[Kobold King he/him]

4 hours ago, Edgedancer said:

And what update would that be?

She doesn't get a kick out of corpses because they don't react. If it was sapient enough she'd take an undead.

 

Shiny / Alice Regway confirmed.  

[Edgedancer he/him]

8 minutes ago, Kobold King said:

 

Shiny / Alice Regway confirmed.  

Shiny approves of this idea.

[The Swan Dragon he/him]

6 hours ago, Edgedancer said:

And what update would that be?

She doesn't get a kick out of corpses because they don't react. If it was sapient enough she'd take an undead.

Probably meant upvote. I know I wish I had more...oh wait. *makes new accounts* *goes through all the awesome posts and double upvotes*

 

*Wakes up because I'm too lazy to actually do that*

[Edgedancer he/him]

3 minutes ago, Weirdpersonx said:

Probably meant upvote. I know I wish I had more...oh wait. *makes new accounts* *goes through all the awesome posts and double upvotes*

 

*Wakes up because I'm too lazy to actually do that*

Making a second account is also against site rules, so don't do that.
I appreciate the thought though.

[Comatose he/him]

On July 25, 2016 at 11:21 AM, Mailliw73 said:

@Comatose Hey, I'm quickly running out of time on the Shard. Any estimates on that sample?

Sorry @Mailliw73!  I made more headway with my read through this weekend, but work and life have been crazy and I've had no time to finish reading or start writing.  

 

Im pretty busy every evening this week, but I think I'll leave the read through for now and just try to get a post up so you can review the writing.  I was thinking of doing a flashback of when Corpsemaker first disappeared before Funtimes freed him.  Any idea when that happened?

 

I can't promise what I post will be completely canon without finishing the reread but hopefully I can at least get the voice and style down.  Are you leaving next week already, or do you have one more week that we can pm about any outstanding issues?

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Whatever you want to write about works for me. Yeah, it's next week. Tuesday morning will be the last time I'm on. 

[Edgedancer he/him]

10 minutes ago, Comatose said:

Im pretty busy every evening this week, but I think I'll leave the read through for now and just try to get a post up so you can review the writing.  I was thinking of doing a flashback of when Corpsemaker first disappeared before Funtimes freed him.  Any idea when that happened?

Imprisoned page 1, released page 2, so maybe he was in there for a day, assuming the post was in continuity.

[Comatose he/him]

Ah.  I did not realize Sightline's second post was in the present.  For some reason I thought it was a flashback like the first one.  Now on the reread I see you are correct.  I may need to think of another flashback idea. 

Hoping to get something together soon.  Didn't get home till now. Long day at work

[The Swan Dragon he/him]

@Comatose What are you planning on Rainmaker doing after the meeting with Chasmfiend finishes? I've been looking over timeline stuff and while we're still probably a short ways away (at least another week or two) from Rainmaker meeting up with Thunderspear again (IRL-time-wise), I kinda want to start thinking about what we're going to do for that and the subsequent search.

And looking back over my previous posts, I just want to apologize for trying to rush stuff so much. I know that it worked out because Coma was on a lot, but I think I'm settling into the different pace here. Thanks for understanding!

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Anyone know of any of my characters who need to be taken care of before I leave? I've got some time this week to write.

[Edgedancer he/him]

14 hours ago, Mailliw73 said:

Anyone know of any of my characters who need to be taken care of before I leave? I've got some time this week to write.

Electro maybe?

[Comatose he/him]

Love the proposed trailer!!!  It reminded me of something GoT would use.  

Okay, so I'm not done my reread of Portland yet, but as promised here is the Altermind viewpoint.  I'm going to go ahead and say this will NOT be canon, even if Mailliw approves it, since I  haven't been able to make notes of all the pertinent continuity issues.  

So, this writing sample will be meant to capture Altermind's voice and personality only, and is not meant to be an addition to his story.  @Mailliw73, if you approve, let me know what you think.  Also, at some point before you leave, if you are okay with me taking care of Altermind in you absence, I will need some notes on his history and his weakness, and any future plans you have for him, so I don't mess anything up in the interim.  

Anyways, here's my take on Altermind! I hope you enjoy.  

Spoiler

Laughter, one of Milton's least favourite sounds.  Milton supposed that when most of the idiots that made up the rest of the human race heard laughter, they associated it with joy and mirth.  Milton--wiser than his peers--knew laughter for the weapon that it was.  It did not matter who wielded it, the captain of a sports team, the class clown, or that girl who sat at the front of the class and whose grades rivaled Milton's own, Milton could recognize every snigger and jeer for the personal attack that it was.  Others might delude themselves into thinking it was all in fun to avoid the pain, but Milton was braver than those idiots.  He would not play nice and shrug it off when people treated him cruelly.  He would face the attacks head on and not flinch as his enemies ripped into his psyche with their raucous attacks, and stare them in the eyes as they attempted to tear him down.

I will not let them destroy me.  I will become the darkness to protect the light.  The laughter continued echo around him, though he could not locate the source.  He continued to project out the hallucination of the person he wished he could be, even though he somehow knew that the source of the laughter realized that the handsome blonde man wearing form fitting black body armor and a matching cape was a lie. Milton continued to stare resolutely forward into the darkness, daring his attacker to show their face.  

"Ben, is that you?" Responding to Milton's unspoken command, the image of a pretty teenage girl appeared.  "I have your girlfriend here Ben, but you won't like what I'm going to do to her."  Milton created a bright flash of light and a sound like thunder, and when the light cleared he shifted the image of Ben's high school girlfriend, giving her grizzly wounds, and filling the air with the sounds of her sobs.  

The laughter continued.

"Of course, I should have known it was you, Dylan."  Ben's girlfriend vanished, and was replaced by the brand new convertible Dylan had been so proud of.  Milton gestured, turning the image of the car into ash.  "How do you like that?  Too bad your parents divorced, and your Mom won't have the money to buy you a new one."  

The laughter continued. 

"Alex, Alex, Alex.  You think you're so perfect, don't you?"  Again the images shifted, this time showing a file cabinet. Milton made a show of going through the records contained within, before pulling out one marked with Alex's name.  "Too bad about that stay in rehab for your eating disorder.  I bet that really cut into studying time.  I'd say you might have beaten me on the honor roll if you hadn't made yourself sick, but we both know that would be a lie."  

The laughter grew louder, and all at once Milton's illusions vanished.  Suddenly, he found himself standing exposed, displaying his real figure, scrawny and naked in the darkness.  

"Who... who's out there?"  Milton's voice, commanding moments before, came out weak and strained.  Other voices joined the first, and soon it sounded like a whole crowd was out there in the dark, laughing at the joke in front of them.  And he was a joke, wasn't he?  Puny Milton, pretending he was a hero like Batman just because he had the paltry ability to fool the senses.  It really must be hilarious, to see him, so weak and pathetic, strutting around behind his fabricated facade acting like the warlord he could only dream of being.  

"Do you want to stop the laughter, Milton?"  The laughter stilled suddenly, and Milton felt a chill run down his spine.

"Who's there?  How did you do that?"

The voice in the dark laughed, and while it was one voice instead of many, somehow it wounded Milton far more severely.  "With power Milton.  That's what you want, right?  The power to stop cruelty?  The power to demand respect from those who have mocked and ridiculed you?  You can stop the laughter Milton.  I can give you that power."  

"My illusions... they aren't working."

"Your illusions are useful, but Calamity is not the only source of power."  

A figure stepped out of the dark.  As it grew closer, Milton realized it was Corpsemaker himself.  I need to escape, to get away from here.  Without my illusions he'll kill me!  With my illusions he'll kill me!

"Now, now, Milton, no need to run.  I'm here to help, don't you see?"   Power seemed to radiate off of Corpsemaker, every movement murmuring about the fact that he could kill everyone around him with ease.  

"How can you help me?"

"With this Milton.  Take it, and receive your power."  Corpsemaker reached out and placed something cold and heavy in Milton's hand.  

"It's a gun."

"Yes, genius.  It's a gun.  Now go, and use it to destroy those who would torture you."

"But... Batman never uses guns."

Corpsemaker stepped back, an amused expression spreading across his face.  "Are you Batman, Milton?"

Milton's body began to shake, and to his shame, he felt tears begin to fall from his eyes.  "No.  I'm not."  

All at once Corpsemaker and the darkness vanished.  Milton found himself standing, thankfully clothed, in his school's cafeteria.  Across the room, he caught two girls looking over at him, whispering behind their hands.  

They were laughing at him.

He was still holding the gun.  

Raising the weapon, Milton shot both girls before he had time to think.  Then, he shot their friends.  They had been in on the joke, hadn't they?  The gun in his hand shifted, changing from a handgun into an automatic weapon.  Milton began to gun down his former classmates by the dozens.  Ben, the basketball player, collapsed when five bullets hit him in the leg.  Milton let him suffer a little before putting him out of his misery.  Dylan, the class clown, got several shots to the gut.  Milton had heard that was a painful way to die.  Then there was perfect little Alex.  Milton unleashed his fury on her, leaving her infuriating face a bloody mess when he was done.  The bodies of the living and the dead began to blur together, but still Milton continued to shoot them all.  He would not let a single person escape.  He...

"Put down the gun."  Milton felt a knife press up against his throat.  Slowly he crouched to the ground, and his attacker followed him with the knife.  Once the gun was on the ground, the newcomer kicked the weapons away, and pushed Milton to the ground.  Looking up, Milton was shocked to see Altermind, in all his glory, staring down at him with a gun in his hand.  

"Please, no..."

Altermind sneered and pulled the trigger.  

I thought a dream-sequence would be a good way to display how I see the inner workings of Altermind's head.  And now, let's have a short, non-dream sequence scene, just to get a taste of the day-to-day Altermind.  I decided on writing about the day Altermind founded Thoughttown :

Spoiler

Altermind flashed a brilliant smile for the masses as he walked through the streets of Portland, leading an army behind him.  

"You there!"  Altermind lifted the rope from his utility belt with his telekinesis, and sent it flying towards a fleeing human.  At the same time, he assaulted the man's senses and watched him drop as he was simultaneously subjected to a shrill screech, flashes of light, the taste of overly hot spice, the smell of rotting pig, and the feeling of flames burning his flesh.  Altermind then conjured the hallucination of  fiery serpent to cloak the rope he controlled with his telekinesis, and wrapped it around the man.  Once the man was secured, apparently by a flaming demon serpent, Altermind dispelled his other sensory illusions and turned to address the stunned onlookers.  

"I am Altermind, and I hereby claim this territory as my own."  Altermind altered his voice as he spoke, changing it to sound more authoritative, and increasing the volume so it could be heard for miles around.  "If you have intelligence, then I shall welcome you into my service.  Fail to impress me, and you will have the choice to leave or die."  Altermind gestured and his rope-serpent twined around the man's neck and began to squeeze, choking him to death.  A necessary sacrifice.  A showing of strength now will avoid more death later.  "You must all return to your homes, and keep of the streets.  Over the next few days, I will install a new government.  My servants will then visit you each in turn, to administer tests of intelligence to see if any of you are worthy of serving me."  

"And why should we serve you?"  With a flash of fire, a man who was obviously an epic stepped out of the crowd.  "You think you can scare me with your showy stage magician crap or that army of stiffs?"  To accentuate his point, the epic shot several balls of fire into the ranks of Altermind's army.  To preserve the illusion, Altermind allowed several of his illusory soliders to get hit and collapse in flames.  This could lead to trouble later.  As a precaution, he distanced himself from where his projected avatar stood, just in case the fire epic got any ideas.  

"The ability to control fire, eh?  A useful power I suppose."

"A lot more useful than whatever piece of rot power you have I'd bet.  Why else would you need that army behind you to make your point?  Those flaming snakes don't scare me either.  I'm immune to fire."  

Altermind snorted, briefly allowing a scowl of annoyance to mar his otherwise perfect face.  He'd modeled some of the facial features off of Christian Bale.  "You think I need these men?  Please, they are mere accessories to my rule.  Please, kill them all.  They are hardly irreplaceable.  Or better yet, let me save you the trouble."  Altermind snapped his fingers, and his army appeared to dissolve into dust.  He took some smug satisfaction in seeing the fire epic's mouth drop open.  "Liked that did you?  I wonder, does your immunity extend to being dissolved?  Or are you just immune to fire?  Perhaps we could find out..."

"You know, perhaps I was a little hasty there."  The fire epic stepped forward, wiped his hands on his pants, and stuck one out.  Altermind made his illusory self shake the man's hand, manipulating his sense of touch so it would feel realistic.  "I'm Scorch, and I would love to join your army."

Well that was easy.  "I am of course, happy to have you Scorch.  You'll have to prove your intelligence on an entrance exam of course, but a man of your obvious intelligence shouldn't have any problem with that."   

And there we go!  Let me know what you all think, or if there are things I got wrong or should improve on.  

[Quiver he/him]

...I suspect my Lyla post is underwhelming, but whatevs. Not putting effort in is so much cooler than, like, trying, you know?

Also, hope I didn't go overboard with the rationalisation stuff? Hopefully I got her from being not okay with Shiny's actions to justifying them...believably, i suppose is the word? 

[Edgedancer he/him]

10 minutes ago, Quiver said:

...I suspect my Lyla post is underwhelming, but whatevs. Not putting effort in is so much cooler than, like, trying, you know?

Also, hope I didn't go overboard with the rationalisation stuff? Hopefully I got her from being not okay with Shiny's actions to justifying them...believably, i suppose is the word? 

Spoiler

Well, she did mostly hit Shiny's thought process... which is kind of troubling.

[Edgedancer he/him]

@Comatose it was nice to see Scorch again, if only for a short while.

And thus Lyla gets the chance to turn to a reasonable authority figure... or she could listen to that boring old doctor trying to ruin her fun.

[Mailliw73 he/him]

@Comatose That was very well done. There was a bit off, but most of that is just transitioning to a new writer, I think. One thing I will mention, and this is no fault of yours, is that though I mentioned Altermind wanting to be a hero like Batman in his profile, he's gone quite a ways away from that ideal. He doesn't think of it much any more. You got his attitude of condescension right on. His illusions tend to not be too flashy though, unless he's really trying to grab attention or impress. So, on that first day of Thoughttown, he would've done things like that. But in everyday life, he'll usually only do small things or things with one sense. He likes to keep a bit of mystery as to what he is able to do. He also has no fear of killing, but he's careful to learn everything he can from a prisoner before killing them. 

I'll PM you his weakness and plans. Thanks again for adopting him!

[Comatose he/him]

PM received!  I'll consult with @TwiLyghtSansSparkles And @Kobold King and see about tracking down those PMs.  

I'll avoid going over the top with the batman references then, and will probably just subtly work them in to dream sequences when it makes sense, instead of making it a focal point. 

Thanks for the note on the use of his powers Illusionists are so fun that it's tempting to do flashy things, but I hadn't realized just how conservative Altermind is with his powers until you pointed it out.  I actually really like that aspect of the character so I'll try to stay true to it.  

I'll try to keep his pragmatic attitude towards killing in mind in future scenes as well.  

Thanks so much for the feedback!  I had a lot of fun with these, do I'm excited to do more.