A 100% New, Unknown, Mysterious User!

[Emeralis00 she/her]

Sure. But only if you are willing to accept an an assassin.

[Chaos he/him]

I am aware of Adonalsium. I also know of Hoid's planet-hopping ways. Really need to read WoK though, and I'm committed to something that'll take at least a week, so that may take a while longer. :/

You can do it in two and a half days, if you don't do anything else besides eat and sleep.

[Joe ST he/him]

You can do it in two and a half days, if you don't do anything else besides eat and sleep.

You could probably do it in one and a bit if you only eat (whilst you read)

[CrazyRioter she/her]

who needs to eat? All you need is a glass of water every few hours.

[Emeralis00 she/her]

who needs to eat? All you need is a glass of water every few hours.

What do you mean? you don't even need that unless you take more than three days to read.

[KChan she/her]

We considered "Hershelites" after Sir William, but someone pointed out what he discovered and the ridicule our fellow gentlemen would be able to heap upon us should any rival group that is bound to appear knew the least bit of scientific history.

Also, people might just think you're from Herschel, Saskatchewan. Just saying.

Anyways, hello and welcome! I can see just from this thread that you're going to fit in here juuuuuuust fine.

[FeatherWriter she/her]

Hmmm. Pyramid schemes are fun...

On an unrelated note: Who wants to invest in Adonalsium Enterprises?

[Zas678 he/him]

How much of my soul would I have to give away? What's my ROI?

I got it! I give my soul to you, and then for every two customers I get, I get a soul, and you get a soul. It goes on so on and so forth until we run out of members. In which case we run off with their souls, Awakening things as we wish.

It's brilliant, brilliant I tell you!

[sortitus he/him]

If that's the deal, you may as well call it Endowment Enterprises. Then you get the bonus traffic at meetings from the crowd that responds to shady emails.

[FeatherWriter she/her]

Adonalsium Endowment Enterprises Soul Investment Agreement

All investors shall be subject to, without exemption, the policies stated herein. At commencement, all investors are required to give up their soul, sometimes colloquially known as and henceforth referred to as "breath," to the company for the use in the research of Awakening.

For every two (2) new investors that the investor recruits into the company, the investor will be awarded one (1) breath. Should the investor recruit an awakener with more than one breath, the company will reward the investor with a number of breaths equal to or less than 40% of the recruit's breath count.

Should the investor recruit a Returned for investment in Adonalsium Endowment Enterprises, the company specifies that the investor NOT recieve the Divine Breath, and should instead contact the nearest Adonalsium Endowment Enterprises representative to accept the Divine breath on behalf of the investor. The rumors that Divine Breaths are equal to the two thousand (2,000) breaths required to reach the Fifth Heightening are false. The company concludes that the normal breath equivalent of Divine Breaths is closer to eight (8) breaths, therefore the investor will be awarded two (2) breaths (25%) for every Returned investor recruited.

Adonalsium Endowment Enterprises reserves the right to nullify the investment of any and all investors at any time, without warning or explanation. If your investment is nullified, please report to the nearest Adonalsium Endowment Enterprises Nullification Acknowledgement representative and recite the Nullification Acceptance Phrase: "My life to yours. My Breath become yours." Failure to comply will result in incarceration and torture via Nightblood until the Nullification Acceptance Phrase is recited.

If you agree to these terms and conditions please sign on the dotted line below.

_{................................................................}

Edited December 2, 2013 by FeatherWriter

[Zas678 he/him]

I am in!

Endowment Enterprises Soul Investment Agreement

Investor: Zas678

Recruiter: FeatherWriter

All investors shall be subject to, without exemption, the policies stated herein. At commencement, all investors are required to give up their soul, sometimes colloquially known as and henceforth referret to as "breath," to the company for the use in the research of Awakening.

For every two new investors that the investor recruits into the company, the investor will be awarded one breath. Should the investor recruit an awakener with more than one breath, the company will reward the investor with a number of breaths equal to or less than 40% of the recruit's breath count.

Should the investor recruit a Returned for investment in Endowment Enterprises, the company specifies that the investor NOT recieve the Divine Breath, and should instead contact the nearest Adonalsium Endowment Enterprises representative to accept the Divine breath for you. The rumors that Divine Breaths are equal to the 2,000 breaths required to reach the Fifth Heightening are false. The company has found that the normal breath equivalent of Divine Breaths is closer to eight breaths, therefore the investor will be awarded two breaths (25%) for every Returned investor recruited.

Endowment Enterprises reserves the right to nullify the investment of any and all investors at any time, without warning or explanation. If your investment is nullified, please report to the nearest Endowment Enterprises Nullification Acknowledgement representative and recite the Nullification Acceptance Phrase: "My life to yours. My Breath become yours." Failure to comply will result in incarceration and torture via Nightblood until the Nullification Acceptance Phrase is recited.

If you agree to these terms and conditions please sign on the dotted line below.

ZAS678................................................................

[FeatherWriter she/her]

Yes, my evil plan is working!

Um... I mean, my completely legitimate and wholesale investment opportunity is working!