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Posted

I know that I have quite a few from scout camp stored somewhere in the back of my mind (or my coppermind, which is somewhere in my room. I don't know where, though, because the map of everything in my room is stored on it.)

"It's five minutes later than it was thirty seconds ago!"

"Ethan, can you come help me move this kitchen?"

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

If you want to eat the tree, eat the tree. It's delicious.


Would the turkey give me some rice?


What if you whittled the elephant out of a cheese?


It's like stroking them with a lint roller

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more happy people? 

I was trying to write the letter o, and I found a really easy way to draw an eggplant.

If you think our problems are bad, then you should see our solutions!

What’s a quarter step among friends? 
 

and a few of my favorites from the Cosmere:

secret history

Spoiler

SURVIVE

warbreaker

Spoiler

"What in the name of You are you doing?" (this one is my very favorite non-swear ever.)

mistborn E1

Spoiler

we mistborn need not make sense.

mistborn E2

Spoiler

"Don't try. Logic does't work on Wayne"

"I bought a ward off of it from a traveling merchant. it lets me add two and two and get a pickle."

Words of Radiance

Spoiler

I am a stick.

also Words of Radiance

Spoiler

What if you need to poop?

 

Posted

Imagine an entire Titanic made of spiders

We'd just need a mini goldfish factory in the classroom

Laughed so hard when goat burnt down at the end

If I don't end up with piano keys in my hair, I'll be disappointed

  • 4 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

"my chin used to be farther down on my face!" -me, about 15 minutes after getting my wisdom teeth out.

"death by yoga pose laser" 

Edited by ethan sedai
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

"End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one which we all must take: The grey rain curtains of this world roll back, and all turns to silver glass. And then you see it... White shores and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise."

Posted (edited)

Apparently death camps fit in buckets


Once you go bacon you don't go back


Bacon bits are combustible, right?


So Earth is a robot sandwich?

Edited by Shqueeves
Posted

I've used this one in discussions on Facebook twice in the last 2 weeks.

"A children's story that can only be enjoyed by children is not a good children's story in the slightest."--CS Lewis

Posted (edited)

"Everyone is a jerk, marriage is deciding what jerk you can live with." ~Me (side note, that makes me seem really cynical, when in fact, i'm an optimist.)

“It’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well. ” 
― Brian Regan

Edited by TheVillageIdiot
  • 2 weeks later...
Posted (edited)

Will: "Halt, can I ask you a question?"

Halt: "I believe you just did."

-Ranger's Apprentice

Edited by Showman
Posted (edited)

The pool just vomited on us


Food is so much better when other people catch it for you


Why are you exploding?


Language just happen

Edited by Shqueeves
Posted (edited)

"Lambas bread. One bite fills the stomach of a grown man!"

Merry to Pippin: "How many did you have...?

"Four." ~LoTR

And-

"Oh, it's a case of they'll think I'll think that they'll do A, so they'll do B because I wouldn't think they'd think of that but then because I might think I know that they're thinking they'll do A after all because I wouldn't think they'd think that way," said Will.

Halt looked at him for a long moment in silence, "You know, I'm almost tempted to ask you to repeat that." ~Ranger's Apprentice.

 

Edited by RogueWriter
Posted

And now for a few quotes from the best TV show ever:

 

Gus: Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?

Shawn: I should ask you the same question.

Gus: I work here!

Shawn: I should ask you a different question.

 

Lassiter: So you think someone planted it in his locker?

Shawn: No, I think someone put it there on purpose.

Lassiter: That's what I just said.

Shawn: But mine wasn't in the form of a question, so it came from a place of power.

 

Gus: I'm not going out there.

Shawn: You cannot sit here in a dark car all alone. You'll be picked up for mopery.

Gus: Mopery?

Shawn: With intent to creep. Trust me, you don't want that. It'll put a big hole in your future.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Slight necro, but 

Quote

I can't space jump with a polar bear?!

Quote

The pot smells like markers

Quote

I didn't choose the meme life, the meme life chose meme

Quote

That moment when your cat population is 16% white

 

Posted

"a Commander stands behind his army while a Leader stands in front"

"Leaders don't create followers, they create more Leaders"

"a fool gives full vent to his anger, while a wise man holds his tongue"

I use those regarding work a lot. 

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

When our honor becomes a shackle that prevents us from doing what is right, then it is no longer honor. It has become something else entirely, a twisted parody of its true meaning.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

On 1/15/2018 at 11:29 PM, Personification said:

YCV64gD.jpg

 

Just like Alcatraz, Randall Munroe's words are pure gold!

 

If you have never read his book What If, I highly suggest it! It is one of my absolute favorites (almost comparable to Alcatraz)

These are some of my favorites (especially the comics).

laser pointer https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/

orbital submarine (only in the book)

random sneeze call https://what-if.xkcd.com/55/

machine gun jetpack https://what-if.xkcd.com/21/

Posted
3 hours ago, Showman said:

 

  Hide contents

 

 

 

Just like Alcatraz, Randall Munroe's words are pure gold!

 

If you have never read his book What If, I highly suggest it! It is one of my absolute favorites (almost comparable to Alcatraz)

These are some of my favorites (especially the comics).

laser pointer https://what-if.xkcd.com/13/

orbital submarine (only in the book)

random sneeze call https://what-if.xkcd.com/55/

machine gun jetpack https://what-if.xkcd.com/21/

 

Thank you, of the What Ifs I personally like this one, if only because of the final image.

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

"Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder."

- the breadwinner

This quote spoke to me!! It was from the breadwinner movie

  • 1 month later...
Posted

"Why is the salsa making laser noises?"

"When you're learning to snowboard, you'll probably hurt yourself. when you're good at snowboarding, you'll definitely hurt yourself."

"It was my leg I had a bad fall on, not my head... Unless I did fall on my head, and now I think it's my leg."

"If I'm gonna die, the comfy chair is coming with me!"

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