Ask Kobold Anything

[Quiver he/him]

Since Edgedancer mentioned her...

 

Clara. Give us your thoughts on her: the good, the bad, what works, what doesn't, what you'd change, and how you'd write her out.

[Delightful]

Why are you and Edgedancer shipping Twi and Obliteration??

[Edgedancer he/him]

Why are you and Edgedancer shipping Twi and Obliteration??

I might not be Kobold but let me answer anyway, the short answer is that they are adorable together.

As to the underlying reasons

Now, as for the long version... I dunno it just kind of happened... probably started as a joke... why are we shipping them Kobold?

Edited July 11, 2015 by Edgedancer

[Kobold King he/him]

Kobold King, It seems you enjoy talking about what could and couldn't have been, of the tomorrow and of the past.

Now, although It might sound crazy, im going to ask of you to recreate an entire life. Your life.

Tell us Kobold...

Had you not been born, what do you think would have happened to your family, to your city, or heck, Even your state?

If right now some strange force sent your mind back in time to when you were 4 years old, what do you think you could accomplish?

(Meaning: If you could somehow transmit your entire life time of thoughts, feelings and consciousness into the body you had when you were 4 years old, what would you do with the knowledge of the future, and all the extra time you would get worry-free as a child? Would you take some invention of the future and claim It as your own? Would you prevent catastrophes? Would you Rewrite the reckoners books and become a child writing prodigy?)

If you could go back in time and protect your younger self from something...what would It be? Why? Or would you rather choose to leave your life untouched?

Would you rather be born in a universe where pokemon exist, to train one as your friend and maybe become a legend and champion, or would you rather be born in a universe where ponies roam free, being able to talk and fly? (As a human, of course)

How do you think being born in Either universe would have afected your entire life? What do you think you would have done?

(Leaving Jokes aside, this is probably one of the most difficult questions, given you have to Rewrite your entire life in an entirely different universe from the one you are acostumed to. Do you think you would have become a pokemon legend, with you and your pokemon having formed an unbreakable bond, or do you think you would have died climbing a mountain/ facing a wild pokemon/ getting killed by an evil organization/etc.

Do you think humans would have hunted ponies to extinction? Or do you think they would live side by side with them?)

Ponder deeply about these questions, King of Kobolds, ponder very deeply about them.

 

 

Now these are some tough questions.

 

I'm not sure how my family's life would be different had I not been born. It's possible my parents would be slightly liberal in their politics then they are now, as my birth prompted them to read several libertarian books on homeschooling that dramatically swayed their thinking. However, I have four siblings, and one of their births may have prompted them to make the same changes to their ideology.

 

The rest of the world would be impacted even less dramatically. I seldom leave the house, and I don't know a lot of people. The biggest change I guess is that the fanon wiki I admin'd on for a while might never have seen its brief resurgence of activity, and that TwiLyghtSansSparkles would have the most reputation of anyone on the 17th Shard. I hope the power doesn't go to her head in this alternate universe.

 

 

If my mind were sent back to my four-year-old body, I would cry. I would cry long and hard, because I'd have been trapped in the wrong body away from everyone I know and love. My parents were very different people back then. None of my siblings would have been born. I'd have no means of contacting any of the few friends I have, and they'd all be fourteen years younger than I knew them anyway. I'd essentially have to rebuild my life from scratch, and I wouldn't even know enough about stock market trends to use my future knowledge to make myself rich. So yeah. It would really, really suck.

 

Also, there'd be no way for me to prevent any catastrophes. I doubt the World Trade Center would evacuate no matter how well-articulated the four year-old giving them the warning was. And to continue this example, I'd fear that thwarting Al-Qaeda in this timeline would only prompt them to launch another terrorist attack--potentially one that could cause even more casualties than the ones they caused in the original timeline. It's too risky.

 

 

If I were given the ability to time travel, I would take care not to alter my own timeline. I don't have any regrets or sorrows in my history woeful enough to risk destroying the space-time continuum, and even if that weren't a threat, I'd worry about inadvertently killing the person I am now by radically changing the life of the person I was as a child. So no. I wouldn't 

 

 

I would not become a Pokemon champion. For all its glorification, Pokemon-battling is no nobler than cockfighting or dogfighting on our world. It's animal abuse, and I like to think that I'd be able to resist the cultural pressure and refuse to take part in it. I hear Team Plasma's recruiting animal rights activists like myself--maybe I'll join them.

 

As for my life in Equestria--there are no humans on that world, but if there were, I don't imagine humans would have been capable of hunting ponies to extinction. The rulers of the ponies telekinetically control planets; I don't really see how humans could stand up to that kind of raw power.

 

I'd much rather just be a pony in Equestria, thanks. I'd be a brown earth pony with a golden crown as my cutie mark.

 

 

Since Edgedancer mentioned her...

 

Clara. Give us your thoughts on her: the good, the bad, what works, what doesn't, what you'd change, and how you'd write her out.

 

 

I just think she's bland, that's all. It feels like her spunk and snark are less natural parts of her character and more elements thrown in to fulfill some sort of checklist of proper companion traits. She was mildly interesting as a side character in Asylum of the Daleks, and I liked her in The Snowmen, but 21st century Clara has very few traits that are unique to her. Now that the mystery around her is gone, there's no hook to her character. No reason for her story to be told.

 

Like Edgedancer, I would have liked for her to be written out in Death in Heaven. Not killed--I'm not usually fond of seeing characters permanently killed off. But I would have liked to see her leave the TARDIS on her own terms, to live a peaceful and quiet life with Danny.

 

 

Why are you and Edgedancer shipping Twi and Obliteration??

 

TwiLyght has been a vocal fan of Obliteration's from the beginning, and has even spoken loosely in his defense. She's made it clear that she finds him one of the more fascinating Epics, and has expressed a strong desire to see him redeemed.

 

She also sympathizes with the way he feels about his glasses, and has stated in her AMA that she finds trenchcoats attractive.

 

But perhaps the most important reason, the reason we keep on insisting that they be a couple, the reason we'd love to see them smiling in each other's arms... is because they'd look darn cute together.

 

And because as of this post's writing, Twi hasn't asked us to stop.

[Quiver he/him]

What is your favorite movie-that-everyone-else-hates?

[DanTheSeamonster he/him]

Your favorite time period in History? 

 

Your least favorite time period in History? 

 

Also chinchillas or llamas? 

[Kobold King he/him]

What is your favorite movie-that-everyone-else-hates?

 

Jurassic Park III. People talk about as if it's an affront to the franchise, but I actually think The Lost World was a way inferior movie. I greatly enjoyed JPIII, and I found the concepts and characters within it fascinating.

 

 

 

Your favorite time period in History? 

 

Your least favorite time period in History? 

 

Also chinchillas or llamas? 

 

My favorite time in history? I've always found the Middle Ages and of course prehistoric eras interesting, but here lately I've been fascinated by the Byzantine Empire. It's unbelievable that an empire as strong and powerful as the Byzantines gets only a cursory mention in most history books, as its culture and history was fascinating.

 

Least favorite time in history? Probably modern history, especially around atrocities like the Holocaust, the Rape of Nanking, the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, the Gulags of Stalin, and plenty of others. While all of history has been littered with these sorts of evils, it's easier to form an emotional detachment to Genghis Khan's victims than to Hitler's, and modern history is consequently far more depressing to read about. (All the more so in that the photographs and firsthand accounts make modern atrocities feel more "real" in comparison with the quasi-legendary deeds of ancient barbarians.) Modern history is arguably the most important era to study, though.

 

 

Easy. Chinchillas. Just take a look at this little guy.

 

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

Which super power would you hate to have?

[+Slowswift]

Easy. Chinchillas. Just take a look at this little guy.

 

 

But... but... LLAMAS!   

 

Favorite quote you've ruined with a goat? 

[Quiver he/him]

EDIT Ignore that. Thought I was posting in the "Favourite" game thread.

Favourite signature on this site?

Edited August 4, 2015 by Quiver

[Silverblade5 he/him]

Favorite episode of MLP?

[Kobold King he/him]

Which super power would you hate to have?

 

 

Long-term precognition, the ability to see centuries or millennia into the future. Imagine being able to see nuclear wars or alien invasions or devastating famines while being utterly incapable of doing anything about it. You'd wind up like the mad prophetess who was ignored when she predicted the fall of Troy.

 

 

Favourite signature on this site?

 

 

There are a lot of nice ones, but Slowswift and LarkoftheRiver have particularly awesome ones.

 

 

Favorite episode of MLP?

 

 

Make New Friends But Keep Discord. I'm sure glad this one came along, because before it's airing I had absolutely no idea how to answer this question.

 

I love how the episode characterizes Discord, as he effortlessly bounces back and forth between harmless goofball and eldritch abomination. I love the humor in his antics, Maud Pie's deadpan snarking, the adorableness of the alien Smooze, and above all else, the best pony ever who was introduced in the episode.

 

[The Honor Spren she/her]

How long were you homeschooled?

[Kobold King he/him]

How long were you homeschooled?

 

 

 

I was never in the public school system. All my education was covered at home, from first grade till the day I graduated.

[+Slowswift]

Long-term precognition, the ability to see centuries or millennia into the future. Imagine being able to see nuclear wars or alien invasions or devastating famines while being utterly incapable of doing anything about it. You'd wind up like the mad prophetess who was ignored when she predicted the fall of Troy.

 

There are a lot of nice ones, but Slowswift and LarkoftheRiver have particularly awesome ones.

 

Her name is Cassandra, gosh. And you claim to like mythology.

 

Aw, thanks! ...I was thinking of changing it soon, though.

 

 

Um, what did you think of that episode with the Apples and the Pies celebrating Hearth's Warming?

[Kobold King he/him]

Um, what did you think of that episode with the Apples and the Pies celebrating Hearth's Warming?

 

 

Hearthbreakers really tickled me, and not just because it's a Christmas episode that aired a week before the Halloween episode. It served to finish what Pinkie Apple Pie and Maud Pie started, showing the full range of Pinkie's family and how different members interact with one another. In particular the episode centered around the Apples, who are just barely related to the Pies if they are at all, and how their traditional Ponyville culture clashes with that of the gray rock farmers.

 

Maud Pie once again makes stoicism as hysterical as her pink sister's bouncy antics. The newly introduced Pie siblings give new corner stones to the range of extremes that make up this family; Marble makes Fluttershy look like a talkative extrovert, and Limestone is to seething rage what Pinkie Pie is to exuberant happiness. Their parents are neutral Amish stereotypes by comparison, but hey, they work.

 

The episode kept me entertained on a humorous as well as an emotional level, with the final message, as usual, revolving around tolerance and understanding. Applejack is the one who has to learn this episode, being the resident bigot and cultural supremacist among the Mane 6. (Seriously, AJ? Earth ponies can use their freaky super strength during Winter Wrap-Up, but unicorns using their special talents is going too far? I'm still bitter you didn't have to learn a lesson about discarding dumb traditions during that episode.)

 

So yeah. I rate this one a rock solid 9/10. A full 10/10 if this turns out to be a set up for Holder's Boulder to hatch into an awe-inspiring geodragon someday.

 

 

Do you feel like your status as #1 on the rep list opens you up to unfair criticism, or makes you into a target of sorts?

 

 

There are people who take me way too seriously, I think. It's less evident now, but I used to get a lot of random downvotes as I approached and passed Brandon Sanderson. The majority of it seems to have bee a lighthearted crusade to keep Brandon at the top of the rep list, but even after I'd requested the fad to stop it continued, with a couple of small brigades against my RP posts in What Happened in Oregon. I still get these mysterious downvotes directed at innocuous, seemingly random posts of mine from time to time, leading me to suspect--or at least, irrationally fear--that there are a few people on here that see me as a pointless poster who has no business being here.

 

By and large though, I don't think most people actually care who I am. My crowning achievement was a mere result of spamming the board with enough random jokes and ponies to net myself a metric ton of meaningless forum likes, which is nothing to brag about. The only reason I'm as well-known as I am is because I happen to post on a variety of topics.

 

So yeah. I think there are a couple of haters who despise me for dumb reasons, and a bunch of people who chuckle every now and then at the weird guy who posts more than is healthy. It hardly sets me apart from my peers.

[Delightful]

I was never in the public school system. All my education was covered at home, from first grade till the day I graduated.

You just casually used a Snape meme! *feels overload*.

[Curiosity he/him]

You just casually used a Snape meme! *feels overload*.

 

I had this exact thought.

 

As another perennial homeschooler, I object to this awful use of a man's grief and love for simple, casual, and informal statement of educational loyalty. 

[The Honor Spren she/her]

I had this exact thought.

As another perennial homeschooler, I object to this awful use of a man's grief and love for simple, casual, and informal statement of educational loyalty.

Homeschool life is pain! Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling Netflix subscriptions! Edited December 8, 2015 by The Honor Spren

[Guest]

1. Coke or Pepsi?

2. Beef jerky or ice cream?

3. Your answer to #1 or your answer to #2?

[Kobold King he/him]

1. Coke or Pepsi?

2. Beef jerky or ice cream?

3. Your answer to #1 or your answer to #2?

 

 

1. Neither. Root beer or chocolate milk for me, depending on the mood.
2. Ice cream every time.
3. See answer 4.
4. See answer 3.

[Guest]

• Neither. Root beer or chocolate milk for me, depending on the mood.
• See answer 4.
• See answer 3.

See here, Kobold, I need you to ANSWER THE STORMING QUESTIONS. This is about my curiosity, not your "humor." I think you do this to me intentionally.

COKE

OR PEPSI?

(That said, I like root beer best too. Root beer, milk, and hot chocolate.)

[Kobold King he/him]

See here, Kobold, I need you to ANSWER THE STORMING QUESTIONS. This is about my curiosity, not your "humor." I think you do this to me intentionally.

COKE

OR PEPSI?

(That said, I like root beer best too. Root beer, milk, and hot chocolate.)

 

 

1. Root beer.
2. I'm Kobold King. If you came here looking for a perfectly straightforward AMA with questions always answered earnestly, seriously, and precisely, then you've journeyed to the wrong place.
3. You're not my real dad. You can't tell me what to do. My AMA, my rules.
4. Heffalumps and woozles.

 

I mean, it's been years since I've had either a coke or a pepsi, since when I get a soda, I always get a root beer. I can't give you whatever you consider a proper answer when there's no answer to give. It'd be like me demanding that you tell me what the best cut off a roadkill tapir is.

 

 

 

Also, do keep your voice down in here. I'd hate to have to call security on you.

 

[Delightful]

I have a hulk.

[The Honor Spren she/her]

It'd be like me demanding that you tell me what the best cut off a roadkill tapir is.

The liver, of course!

What color is your hair?