Epic Physiques

[Kobold King he/him]

Epics are hot. And this time, I don't just mean Obliteration.

 

Here's a description of Deathpoint:

 

Even as a kid I knew there was something different about that man. He wore a relaxed-fitting black business suit with a light tan shirt underneath, no tie. He was tall and lean, but solid, like a lot of Epics are. Muscled and toned in a way that you could see even through the loose clothing.

 

And here's Big S himself:

 

You’ve probably seen pictures of Steelheart, but let me tell you that pictures are completely inadequate. No photograph, video, or painting could ever capture that man. He wore black. A shirt, tight across an inhumanly large and strong chest. Pants, loose but not baggy. He didn’t wear a mask, like some of the early Epics did, but a magnificent silver cape fluttered out behind him.

 

So that's at least two different instances of Epics being noticeably more fit than a normal human being. From an out-of-universe perspective, I feel that this detail is meant as a reference to a certain trope from comic books, in which male characters look like they should be lifting weights at a circus and female characters look like Barbie dolls that have undergone extensive plastic surgery.

 

 

 

 

What I can't help but wonder is whether there's also an in-universe reason for this phenomenon. Does whatever DNA-voodoo that goes on in Epic mitochondria affect their appearances somehow? Do Epics feel an urge to hit the gym more often than a normal human? Was Calamity a fitness nut who only selects people who fits his high standards, with more muscular individuals like Steelheart receiving the best powers?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Epics are hot. And this time, I don't just mean Obliteration.

 

Here's a description of Deathpoint:

 

 

 

 

And here's Big S himself:

 

 

 

 

So that's at least two different instances of Epics being noticeably more fit than a normal human being. From an out-of-universe perspective, I feel that this detail is meant as a reference to a certain trope from comic books, in which male characters look like they should be lifting weights at a circus and female characters look like Barbie dolls that have undergone extensive plastic surgery.

 

 

 

 

What I can't help but wonder is whether there's also an in-universe reason for this phenomenon. Does whatever DNA-voodoo that goes on in Epic mitochondria affect their appearances somehow? Do Epics feel an urge to hit the gym more often than a normal human? Was Calamity a fitness nut who only selects people who fits his high standards, with more muscular individuals like Steelheart receiving the best powers?

 

I too noticed the trope of Epics being attractive, and it definitely fits in with the comic book ideals. Other tropes lifted directly from comic books include….

 

• Capes, trench coats, and other impractically cool outfits 
• Adoption of "code names" in lieu of their given names, even when given names (like Abigail Reed) are well known 
• Lack of concern for property damage (looking at you, Avengers) 
• Lack of concern for bystanders (thank you, Zack Snyder) 
• Impractical and implausible weapons such as swords and katanas 
• Powers that seem to fit the Epic's personality 
• In some cases, elevated speech patterns (though it should be noted that not all Epics fall into this; Steelheart's "I am divine!" monologue and Obliteration's habit of appropriating and misinterpreting quoting Revelations stand out, whereas Deathpoint, Fortuity, Firefight, Newton, and Prof all use a more natural diction) 

 

All of these are staples of the comic book genre, for better or worse. And in-universe, they all seem to be a result of Calamity's corruption, which makes me wonder whether or not Calamity is trying to force them into a certain ideal. In other words, is Calamity using comic book tropes as inspiration for the corruption? 

[TheSpartanDuck he/him]

lol, as awesome as that Calamity thing would be, I'm afraid not. I believe that the mutant things that go on inside an Epics interior effects their exterior alright, but for instance, Prof, Regalia, and Dawnslight had no real points of interest in the books talking about how their bodies are that in comparison to Taylor Lachnaur. While they may have emitted a youthful/powerful glow, I doubt they ALL have this urge to lift weights.

Could Calamitys weakness be being away from the Gym more than 24 hours!?!? *Gasp*

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

lol, as awesome as that Calamity thing would be, I'm afraid not. I believe that the mutant things that go on inside an Epics interior effects their exterior alright, but for instance, Prof, Regalia, and Dawnslight had no real points of interest in the books talking about how their bodies are that in comparison to Taylor Lachnaur. While they may have emitted a youthful/powerful glow, I doubt they ALL have this urge to lift weights.

Could Calamitys weakness be being away from the Gym more than 24 hours!?!? *Gasp*

 

Prof was described as "solid" multiple times throughout the first book, which makes him sound toned, if not superhumanly muscular. And I think Regalia and Dawnslight were exceptions, since Regalia had cancer and Dawnslight had been in a coma since childhood. 

 

EDIT: Just noticed the topic tags. Well-played, Kobold.  

Edited April 25, 2015 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Kobold King he/him]

• Lack of concern for property damage (looking at you, Avengers) 

 

To be fair, the Avengers tried to minimize damage and casualties far more than Superman did.

 

 

Prof was described as "solid" multiple times throughout the first book, which makes him sound toned, if not superhumanly muscular. And I think Regalia and Dawnslight were exceptions, since Regalia had cancer and Dawnslight had been in a coma since childhood. 

 

Megan is also described as extraordinarily attractive. Granted, we read the book through the viewpoint of a teenager with a crush, but Fortuity also seemed to agree that she was good-looking.

 

I can't remember whether Regalia or Nightwielder were described as looking especially distinguished--if so, it might be an effect similar to the Returned from Warbreaker, in which Epics come to resemble their own ideal self-images.

[TheSpartanDuck he/him]

K guys yall stay here and fangirl. I've got a project to work on.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

To be fair, the Avengers tried to minimize damage and casualties far more than Superman did.

 

 

 

Megan is also described as extraordinarily attractive. Granted, we read the book through the viewpoint of a teenager with a crush, but Fortuity also seemed to agree that she was good-looking.

 

I can't remember whether Regalia or Nightwielder were described as looking especially distinguished--if so, it might be an effect similar to the Returned from Warbreaker, in which Epics come to resemble their own ideal self-images.

 

True, but as someone who has had to buy a car, and whose work and social life was crippled in the meantime, I can say that destroying someone's car is a pretty devastating blow. Try to count how many cars the Avengers destroy in their movie. 

 

Of course, that's nowhere near as bad as letting innocent people die for no reason, Superman.  

 

 

I was considering the same thing. After all, comic book superheroines all seem to have the exact same face with different hairstyles and skin tones, while the men are all variations on the lantern-jawed man of muscle (except Spiderman, who is best described as "adorkable"). So it makes sense that the Epic attractiveness has to do with how these Epics see themselves, where they come to resemble an idealized version of themselves instead of an ideal that the industry forced on them. This would also explain why Fortuity had "a hawkish face" with a long, pointed nose, which is not exactly considered the pinnacle of manly beauty. If he sees himself as Calamity's gift to women, he'll assume that he can look however he wants and still have the women come running to him. 

[Kestrel she/her]

I thought of a good reply to this, but then I read the tag and really couldn't stop laughing and now I have no clue what I was going to say. Made my day, though, thank you.

[apepi]

I don't remember them talking about if Conflux was good looking?

[StormingTexan he/him]

Now I am picturing Megan as a blonde Wonder Woman. 

[Blaze1616 he/him]

I can't remember whether Regalia or Nightwielder were described as looking especially distinguished--if so, it might be an effect similar to the Returned from Warbreaker, in which Epics come to resemble their own ideal self-images.

 

So I have but one question then...

 

Is Reckoners Cosmere?

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

So I have but one question then...

Is Reckoners Cosmere?

....begone with you.

[Blaze1616 he/him]

 

I couldn't easily find a smaller version so I apologize for the sheer size of that. Also, I hate that face.

 

Anyways, to stay on topic, I had always presumed being Epicified meant having your body morph into a beautiful specimen of humanity. I did not, however, think it meant you stayed that way, nor did it mean you were ungodly gorgeous. Wasn't that unlimited bullet Epic described as overweight, or am I misremembering? Also, if they were ungodly hot, wouldn't it be much easier to pick out Epics from a crowd?

[Blackhoof]

Well Steelheart was probably buff since he was a football player, a bully, and then a security guard. 

 

And the other Epics don't seem universally gorgeous or buff. But, considering they age more slowly than humans, they probably have other physical benefits as well, just subtler ones. They probably can't get too out of shape even if they tried, their powers likely speed up their metabolisms. 

[Voidus]

I imagine that like with Rendings it depends on your power level, only Epics as powerful as Steelheart get the full inhuman muscles treatment.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

I imagine that like with Rendings it depends on your power level, only Epics as powerful as Steelheart get the full inhuman muscles treatment.

Calamity gives many gifts, as diverse as those he gives them to. To some Epics, he gives teleportation. To others, super strength. And to Steelheart, he gives everything....plus abs.

[Kobold King he/him]

Well Steelheart was probably buff since he was a football player, a bully, and then a security guard. 

 

And the other Epics don't seem universally gorgeous or buff. But, considering they age more slowly than humans, they probably have other physical benefits as well, just subtler ones. They probably can't get too out of shape even if they tried, their powers likely speed up their metabolisms. 

 

Yeah, but would he really be described as inhumanly buff? I'm of the opinion that the image the Bandersnatch is trying to evoke is that of Superman, who's traditionally been depicted as more muscular than is anatomically possible in a human male.

 

Their aging is a good point. I wonder if Epics run out of breath while running as easily as normal humans? Or if on average they're physically stronger than they were before Calamity? Or if they can resist ice cream headaches more easily than your average vanilla?

[Blaze1616 he/him]

Yeah, but would he really be described as inhumanly buff? I'm of the opinion that the image the Bandersnatch is trying to evoke is that of Superman, who's traditionally been depicted as more muscular than is anatomically possible in a human male.

 

WHAT!!???!!!! You mean I can't attain THIS:

 

 

no matter HOW HARD I TRY??!!!??!!?!?!?!?!?!

[Blackhoof]

Yeah, but would he really be described as inhumanly buff? I'm of the opinion that the image the Bandersnatch is trying to evoke is that of Superman, who's traditionally been depicted as more muscular than is anatomically possible in a human male.

Their aging is a good point. I wonder if Epics run out of breath while running as easily as normal humans? Or if on average they're physically stronger than they were before Calamity? Or if they can resist ice cream headaches more easily than your average vanilla?

that's probably a side effect of being Steelheart, or possibly his super strength power. Maybe all Epics with super strength are inhumanely buff.

and we don't know. I think its highly likely they are all enhanced physically and endurance-wise. Not to the level of super-strength, but a fitness boost is likely.

Although whatever boost they get, it didnt protect Regalia from cancer, although likely she has it before she turned Epic.