Trans Hangout Thread

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Usseewa said:

....sorry to bring this up again but did u read the gdb?

Yes

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

Yes

500th reply noice

ok, cool.

 

why don't u want to be trans? or something 

[Aeoryi she/her]

11 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

500th reply noice

ok, cool.

 

why don't u want to be trans? or something 

I feel like I've just been less happy with being trans and that perhaps I should try just... not 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

3 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I feel like I've just been less happy with being trans and that perhaps I should try just... not 

why have you been less happy? Like some reasons or things that make you unhappy?

 

Spoiler

it's always okay if you end up realizing your not trans, and cis or something else.

maybe ur feeling unhappy cuz ur agender?

 

Spoiler

also guys i want to like start hrt or something but feel like it's been too soon. like, do i try to get the process going or just wait a few more months? it feel both like im certain i want hrt, but also like i should wait because that's what i feel i'm supposed to do. i'm not really doubting myself anymore, i've pretty much accepted that i'm trans...i think...and then i wonder as i write this...and then realize that might just be dysphoria...if u guys couldn't tell, i like stream-of-conscious writing.

like i want to start it but also don't know if i should, like i feel like i needa be 100% sure? but i feel like i'm close, but it hasn't been long enough so i gotta wait.

 

Edited February 16 by Usseewa

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

why have you been less happy?

 

  Hide contents

also guys i want to like start hrt or something but feel like it's been too soon. like, do i try to get the process going or just wait a few more months? it feel both like im certain i want hrt, but also like i should wait because that's what i feel i'm supposed to do. i'm not really doubting myself anymore, i've pretty much accepted that i'm trans...i think...and then i wonder as i write this...and then realize that might just be dysphoria...if u guys couldn't tell, i like stream-of-conscious writing.

like i want to start it but also don't know if i should, like i feel like i needa be 100% sure? but i feel like i'm close, but it hasn't been long enough so i gotta wait.

 

so much worry

About a future unclear

 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

so much worry

About a future unclear

 

(see my edits to the post; I added a spoiler above the other.)

 

What future do you want?

[Akimikoisthecutest]

I failed. I did not come out

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

35 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

I failed. I did not come out

That's okay

 

Any particular reasons why

 

edit:

Spoiler

guys what on roshar am i supposed to do with my life rn

ive been content...i guess...for rhe past week or two or whatever the heck it was, but now im... not quite panicking but im wanting to do stufffffff and i canttt and i just have to do nothing!!!!!  i stormin' wish i was around some people or maybe just something i dont know

i want next day please

 

Edited February 16 by Usseewa

[Akimikoisthecutest]

30 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

That's okay

 

Any particular reasons why?

Other than the fact that I'm a coward? No

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Akimikoisthecutest said:

Other than the fact that I'm a coward? No

u shan't self-deprecate or talk bad abt urself; it's normal to be scared of coming out.

that said...if you really want to, then maybe just take the plunge. Text or email your therapist and say you have something important to talk about. If you have a phone, they might be willing to do a phone call off-schedule to talk about stuff, ...or you can wait till next session.

[Akimikoisthecutest]

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

u shan't self-deprecate or talk bad abt urself; it's normal to be scared of coming out.

But I was so close. I almost had it

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

45 minutes ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

I failed. I did not come out

Oof much hugs Ik how that feels 

Just now, Akimikoisthecutest said:

But I was so close. I almost had it

That’s me too girl I’m so sorry

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Akimikoisthecutest said:

But I was so close. I almost had it

Well that's actually a good sign, no? You were close. So next time... try to get past that final hurdle and reach the summit.

Are you gonna reach out to them?

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

(see my edits to the post; I added a spoiler above the other.)

 

What future do you want?

idk really 

sometimes I don't want a future

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

idk really 

sometimes I don't want a future

Ok.. well sorry i honestly don't know how to help at the moment. Do you have a therapist or even gender therapist? I would talk to them about this.

 

For Aki,

You know when I came out to my D&D group (it was awesome), I told one of the people - who was there before everyone else arrived - that I had something important to say. The way it helped is cuz once everyone arrived they kinda started talking, and it was hard to join in but also I was super nervous, like my heart was goin' pretty fast and I was like.. yeah. But then that person helped me and gave me an opportunity and that helped. So, if you let ur therapist know in advance, they'll keep that in mind and help you in the moment. That's also what I did with my therapist. Otherwise, it can be easy to let the session/game slip by and by the time u know it it's over and u didn't come out. Hope that helps, and I gtg for a lil bit.

[Aeoryi she/her]

19 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Ok.. well sorry i honestly don't know how to help at the moment. Do you have a therapist or even gender therapist? I would talk to them about this.

 

For Aki,

You know when I came out to my D&D group (it was awesome), I told one of the people - who was there before everyone else arrived - that I had something important to say. The way it helped is cuz once everyone arrived they kinda started talking, and it was hard to join in but also I was super nervous, like my heart was goin' pretty fast and I was like.. yeah. But then that person helped me and gave me an opportunity and that helped. So, if you let ur therapist know in advance, they'll keep that in mind and help you in the moment. That's also what I did with my therapist. Otherwise, it can be easy to let the session/game slip by and by the time u know it it's over and u didn't come out. Hope that helps, and I gtg for a lil bit.

I don't have a therapist or gender therapist (nor do I think I can easily get one). My family just doesn't treat mental health as something serious, they kind of just scoff at people who struggle with that and don't see why it's serious. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

49 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I don't have a therapist or gender therapist (nor do I think I can easily get one). My family just doesn't treat mental health as something serious, they kind of just scoff at people who struggle with that and don't see why it's serious. 

i rlly don't like ur fam...

mental health is serious.

 

so...

1 hour ago, Aeoryi said:

sometimes I don't want a future

this sounds kinda concerning?

 

 

Spoiler

bro now idek of i want hrt anymore....

snifflesniffle (not rlly tho)

but fr idek. did i actually want it so badly as badly as i thought or not? maybe ill just wait a few months to 'play ot safe'  

 

Edited February 17 by Usseewa

[Hmmm lies she/her]

23 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

  Reveal hidden contents

bro now idek of i want hrt anymore....

snifflesniffle (not rlly tho)

but fr idek. did i actually want it so badly as badly as i thought or not? maybe ill just wait a few months to 'play ot safe'  

 

Lily, while I understand that you want to 'play it safe' I don't want you to end up waiting as long as I did. The process takes a while to start anyway, so it might be worthwhile doing that, and you can always stop it if you change your mind.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

9 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Lily, while I understand that you want to 'play it safe' I don't want you to end up waiting as long as I did. The process takes a while to start anyway, so it might be worthwhile doing that, and you can always stop it if you change your mind.

ok it's mainly that i rlly wanted to start hrt quickly, then someone made me think maybe not.

ALSO the only reason I'm not is cuz i think im not supposed to.

 

you know, there's two sides to my brain. No, I don't mean literally, though that's true too . Basically there's what my emotions and feelings and ME want, then there's what the boring logical, rational, realistic, script-following, expectation-abiding part of my brain that knows what everyone expects me to do and what they say is right. like... i usually know when there's something I shouldn't do, or something I should do, or say, or think or feel or whatever. I know what i should do. i know what I'm supposed to do. i know what script to follow.

then there's what i actually want.

 

edit: i think this is deeper than simply not wanting to do a task or whatever and wanting to watch TV instead. It's not that.

Edited February 17 by Usseewa

[Hmmm lies she/her]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

Basically there's what my emotions and feelings and ME want, then there's what the boring logical, rational, realistic, script-following, expectation-abiding part of my brain that knows what everyone expects me to do and what they say is right. like... i usually know when there's something I shouldn't do, or something I should do, or say, or think or feel or whatever. I know what i should do. i know what I'm supposed to do. i know what script to follow.

That... sounds relatable actually. Really, what I'd do there is convince the 'logical' part of you that this is what you really should have. I can't think of any reason you wouldn't be 'supposed to'. You seem like you really want HRT, and it's been wonderful for me, so I don't think there could be anything wrong with it.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

I can't think of any reason you wouldn't be 'supposed to'.

I haven't researched it enough, I'm "not fully sure I'm trans" (i.e., I'm 100% sure until I start talking/writing/thinking about that certainty/uncertainty), It's been a month (and a week) since I started questioning, so like a month or less since settling on trans or at least considering it, am i "jumping the gun"? Am I not being patient enough? Basically that. Plus, I've been told I should wait. By who I trust.

Edited February 17 by Usseewa

[Hmmm lies she/her]

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

I haven't researched it enough, I'm "not fully sure I'm trans" (i.e., I'm 100% sure until I start talking/writing/thinking about that certainty/uncertainty), It's been a month (and a week) since I started questioning, so like a month or less since settling on trans or at least considering it, am i "jumping the gun"? Am I not being patient enough? Basically that. Plus, I've been told I should wait. By who I trust.

Don't stress about it. I wanted HRT within days of cracking my egg. But, it's not wrong to wait, of course. If that makes you feel comfortable, sure! I just don't want you causing unnecessary dysphoria to yourself. There's no rush, other than your own feelings.

Edit: Besides, I don't think any cis person would even consider HRT for a moment.

Edited February 17 by Hmmm lies

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Hmmm lies said:

Edit: Besides, I don't think any cis person would even consider HRT for a moment.

i want hrt like crazy cuz then ill finally be happy and it'll be better or great and yeaahhhh. or, at least i wanted it ealrier today like crazy

also, a thought I had earlier, if I'm not trans, what's wrong with me?

I'm clearly weird and different, and have only moved towards goodness in the past few weeks from starting to transition (like, new clothes and stuff)

3 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Don't stress about it. I wanted HRT within days of cracking my egg. But, it's not wrong to wait, of course. If that makes you feel comfortable, sure! I just don't want you causing unnecessary dysphoria to yourself. There's no rush, other than your own feelings.

Edit: Besides, I don't think any cis person would even consider HRT for a moment.

i want hrt girl and at this point i dont think i have any reservations left, but the "logic" part of ze brain is telling me i should?

[Hmmm lies she/her]

34 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

i want hrt like crazy cuz then ill finally be happy and it'll be better or great and yeaahhhh. or, at least i wanted it ealrier today like crazy

also, a thought I had earlier, if I'm not trans, what's wrong with me?

I'm clearly weird and different, and have only moved towards goodness in the past few weeks from starting to transition (like, new clothes and stuff)

I mean, logically it can't be anything else? You enjoy transition, and it literally has the word trans in the name.

35 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

i want hrt girl and at this point i dont think i have any reservations left, but the "logic" part of ze brain is telling me i should?

Well when I experience something like that, I usually set my brain halves up in discussion, and I try to convince the uncooperative part. Cause the thing is, typically to get HRT first you're gonna have a doctor talk about it and stuff, and they're gonna make sure that you're happy with all the effects, so by going through that process, you're already making sure that it's what you want.

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

i rlly don't like ur fam...

mental health is serious.

 

so...

this sounds kinda concerning?

 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

bro now idek of i want hrt anymore....

snifflesniffle (not rlly tho)

but fr idek. did i actually want it so badly as badly as i thought or not? maybe ill just wait a few months to 'play ot safe'  

 

yeah it probably is, I suppose. Recently things have been a fair bit worse.