Kajsa does arts® and writes® :D

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

6 hours ago, Wittles said:

KAJSAAA
THIS IS SO GOOD I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT PRETTY PLEEEAASSEEEE

  Reveal hidden contents

Also, I don't even really know him yet, but I love Kieran

 

THANK YOUUU

I’M WORKING ON IT I SHOULD HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TOMORROW

Spoiler

hehehe me too

isnt he the best

6 hours ago, Through The Living Glass said:

I SECOND THIS BUT TAKE YOUR TIME AND WRITE IT WELL :D:D

OKAY I WILL

-

also

this isn’t a writing update

but i took some time to draw instead today since i haven’t done a leisure piece in a while

and i wanted to do one of kiesha like during her lowest point or whatever cuz i love her and i also haven’t ever really drawn something depressing

but uh this turned out like

surprisingly well

(somehow it only took three hours??? i dunno how that happened but uh…..)

Spoiler

uhhh yep  

the last installment will hopefully be out tomorrow, but no promises  

Edited February 9, 2025 by Kajsa

[Edema Rue she/her]

28 minutes ago, Kajsa said:

THANK YOUUU

I’M WORKING ON IT I SHOULD HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TOMORROW

  Reveal hidden contents

hehehe me too

isnt he the best

OKAY I WILL

-

also

this isn’t a writing update

but i took some time to draw instead today since i haven’t done a leisure piece in a while

and i wanted to do one of kiesha like during her lowest point or whatever cuz i love her and i also haven’t ever really drawn something depressing

but uh this turned out like

surprisingly well

(somehow it only took three hours??? i dunno how that happened but uh…..)

  Reveal hidden contents

uhhh yep  

the last installment will hopefully be out tomorrow, but no promises  

Girl what

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

35 minutes ago, Kajsa said:

THANK YOUUU

I’M WORKING ON IT I SHOULD HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TOMORROW

  Reveal hidden contents

hehehe me too

isnt he the best

OKAY I WILL

-

also

this isn’t a writing update

but i took some time to draw instead today since i haven’t done a leisure piece in a while

and i wanted to do one of kiesha like during her lowest point or whatever cuz i love her and i also haven’t ever really drawn something depressing

but uh this turned out like

surprisingly well

(somehow it only took three hours??? i dunno how that happened but uh…..)

  Reveal hidden contents

uhhh yep  

the last installment will hopefully be out tomorrow, but no promises  

Dang girl, okay!

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

8 hours ago, Edema Rue said:

Girl what

8 hours ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Dang girl, okay!

 hehehe

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

here's the final installment of kiesha's story! 

Spoiler

TEN

 

 

 

She closed her eyes and drew in a breath of the cool, crisp air through her nose. The small wooden wagon rattled over nearly every imperfection in the road, sometimes sending jolts of pain through her body. She was still healing, but she was in much better shape than she had been a few weeks before. She’d managed to start stomaching food again, little by little; her gunshot wound was starting to scar over, and she was stronger than she’d been for months. 

There was still the weight of her mother’s death on her shoulders—and, heavier still, Celia and Shaeli—and even Zack’s, but somehow, she could almost breathe again.

Spring was here, Kieran was recovering, and their father had managed to get another job–much more reliable, with steady income. They’d still tend the farm, but most of the responsibility would fall to Kiesha, Kieran, and Hera.

The wagon stopped, and her siblings hopped down. Kieran offered his hand, which she took, stepping onto the grass uncertainly. Her legs wobbled a little, so he steadied her. She smiled, and he smiled back, gave her hand a squeeze, then released her. 

Just before their dad drove the cart away, toward the barn, Bella got out behind Kiesha, resting both of her hands on her very pregnant belly. A pang of guilt shot through Kiesha as she glanced at the widow’s grief-stricken face. It looked like she was trying to hide the pain, which only made it worse. 

Kiesha looked quickly away.

Bella had been silent ever since that day. Though she’d experienced a few of Zack’s mood swings, she hadn’t realized how dangerous he’d been; she–like Kiesha–had loved him, looked after him, cared for him. They’d both been blinded by their love for him, lied themselves into believing things would change, though for Bella, it was more justified. He’d been gentler with her, maybe even really loved her. She’d been things to him Kiesha never could.

Kiesha had spent the last few weeks wondering if there was anything they could have done to save him—anything at all. She’d voiced her thoughts aloud on several occasions, and her father had assured her that he’d been too far gone, but that didn’t stop her from wondering. It didn’t stop the pain. Because in the end, he’d never really changed. He’d always been the same little boy—scared and hurt, trying to protect himself. If Kiesha had just done more, maybe he’d have let her help him, and… and he wouldn’t be dead. 

But that kind of thinking was dangerous. She’d seen what it could do to people; it had been what killed Hera’s mom. Kiesha couldn’t afford to die when so many people still needed her.

Kieran grabbed Kiesha’s hand and pulled her forward over the rain-soaked, pebbled ground. Hera led them, and Bella lagged several feet behind. The ocean crashed in the distance, growing louder with each step. The road ended, and they veered off into the forest on a small earthen trail. Kieran scanned the forest, looking for the marked trees.

For the path.

Hera didn’t need to look anymore, it was so second nature, and once upon a time, Kiesha hadn’t had to either. But after being in the city for two years, with so much stress and so many things to remember, she needed the markings. It felt, in a way, like another failure.

She let Kieran pull her along, feet still dragging a little, lungs winded. She huffed with each step, feeling dizzy. The salty air didn’t help. It had once nurtured her, healed her, and now it suffocated her.

Would her siblings be okay? Would it still be the same?—no, of course it wouldn’t. What a stupid question. 

Finally, they reached the stepping-stone path that led off to the farm in one direction and home in the other. Home. She was so close… so why did she feel like this? 

The pounding of her heart in her chest was like a hammer, striking her ribcage over and over, throat constricting. Her vision wavered, hot and uncertain, and she couldn’t breathe. Her shoes felt full of rocks, the air like water. 

Suddenly, she collapsed, landing hard on her knees. Kieran frowned, then crouched down across from her and signed something. Her name, like a question; he’d taught her her name in sign language while she was recovering. 

She stared into his face for a moment, but she couldn’t bear to see the look he was giving her—eyebrows pinched together, soft eyes full of concern. A sob tore from her chest, then another, and more, so visceral and sharp that there was no room in her lungs for air. Tears streamed down her face, and soon she could taste them. 

Bella called to Hera, who rushed over and knelt down next to her sister. She reached out and took both of her hands. “Are you hurt?”

She shook her head and choked out, “I can’t do it. I c-can’t come ba-ack and look into their faces an–d act like it’s not all my fault. I could have d-done more. I could have done something. I-I should have died instead!”

Hera stiffened, something flickering across her face. She grabbed Kiesha around the shoulders and hugged her so tight–too tight. “No, Kiesha,” she murmured. Her voice was soft, but there was a sternness in the way she said it. “You did everything you could.”

“No, I-I didn’t,” she sobbed.

“What else could you have done, Kiesha?” She asked softly, rocking her sister.

“Anything. I had o-options. I should ha–ave just become a–a whore, I would have made money, at least, wou–uld have had a p-place to sleep—”

“At what cost?” Hera pulled back to look Kiesha in the face. She sniffled, holding back tears of her own.

“I don’t care. Not anymore.” 

Hera pulled her back in, and Kieran embraced them both. Kiesha sobbed hysterically, soaking their shirts with tears. All that time on the streets, and she’d done nothing, surviving while her family was wasting away. Surviving while her mother and little sisters died.

It would have been better if she hadn’t had any options. It would have been better if she couldn’t have made a choice. 

Their father returned before Kiesha’s sobs ebbed. He pulled his children off of her, ordering them to take Bella to the cabin. They were reluctant but did as they were told. He knelt down across from his daughter, who bowed her head, hiding her face in her dark hair. She was too ashamed to let him look at her. 

“Kiesha,” he said softly. She turned away, gasping for air through the tears and trying to get them to stop. They didn’t, but at least the sobs slowed.

“Kiesha.”

Still, she didn’t respond.

He scooted closer, then reached out and gently turned her face toward him, tilting her chin up so her eyes were level with his. She stared up at the sky instead. He couldn’t make her look at him. 

“Look at me,” he whispered. His voice sounded thick, laced with heartbreak.

A painstaking, unchanging moment followed, and out of her peripheral, she saw his shoulders slump. 

“Dad…” she glanced past him into the trees.

“You’re home,” he whispered. “It’s okay, Kiesha.”

It didn’t feel like she was home. It felt dark, cold, and unfamiliar. The trees loomed over them, branches like hands reaching, clawing for the last tiny shred of sanity Kiesha had left, or maybe reaching for her father, trying take away one of the last things she had, murderous, snide, reaching closer and closer—

“Gumdrop. Look at me, please.”

She closed her eyes, then opened them again, caving. His dark eyes were warm, safe. Familiar. But they’d lost their twinkle, the joy he’d always carried with him until… until Kieran’s accident.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, another pang of guilt punching her in the gut. 

“It’s not your fault. It’s not. None of this is, gumdrop.”

Yes, it is, she wanted to say. Leave me here to die. My best wasn’t enough. I’m worthless now.

But she didn’t. She couldn’t let him hear her say that. It would just break him worse, make him hate Zack more, maybe make him resent Bella as a product. She was still just his little girl, lost and scared, and all he wanted to do was take her home. 

So she let him.

He hugged her until she stopped crying, then lifted her to her feet and held her hand as they walked home in silence. The ocean filled the silence, growing louder as the drew closer to the cabin. Kiesha still felt unable to breathe, still felt ready to break down at any moment, and she knew she probably would when they got there. 

As they rounded the bend, coming within sight of the cabin, she could hear yelling, gleeful shouts as one by one, the six of her remaining siblings noticed her and bounded over to tackle her. 

Two of them were too young to remember who she was, but they followed the rest of their brothers and sisters anyway and congregated around her legs. 

Celia, Shaeli, and Deena’s absences were so loud, and Vesta’s was even more piercing, but somehow, as her siblings wrapped her in their arms and eventually pulled her into the warm house, it didn’t feel so heavy. Kiesha felt herself smiling and even laughing through the sobs as they all peppered her with questions and bombarded her with every kind of news and told her how much they’d missed her and how much they loved her.

Loved her.

She didn’t realize she’d been expecting resentment until those words came out of their mouths, and they were somehow more piercing, more painful than anything. But in a way, it was a good kind of pain. An aching, a bittersweetness like she’d never felt. 

Rene, her twelve-year-old, dark-haired brother blurted, “Is Zack coming?” 

Everything crashed back down. “...N-no. No, he’s not.”

“Aw, man. Why not?”

“Because he’s gone,” Kiesha murmured. “Dead.”

A silence settled over the room, a heaviness that felt too respectful, too powerful, too sad for a man like him. 

And yet, Kiesha couldn’t find it in herself to break it.

 

—

 

Time moved slowly. 

In the beginning, Kiesha felt empty most days, the absence of her mother and little sisters shadowing her, Zack’s ghost always hovering nearby. The world felt muted, and at the same time, it spun too quickly. Moments flew by before she could catch them, everybody had so much to say, and she felt paralyzed. It took effort to move around. She smiled rarely and laughed even less, and despite the warmth of the cabin, she always wore more layers than she needed to. She’d spent too long in the cold, too long hungry.

Her family noticed, and they were all doing their best to adjust, to relearn who she was, who she’d become, how the city had changed her. They all stayed by her side whenever they could, keeping her company; someone was always by her side, chatting or just being, sometimes with one of the hounds at their heels. She was almost never alone, and there was always something to do, something to keep her mind off of the pain, to distract her. Work to attend to.

And that helped. 

She finally told her father everything that had happened, though she left out some of the worse details. He didn’t deserve to carry around her pain—and besides, what would happen to them if he ended up doing something stupid for her? He’d already killed Zack. He’d tried to pry the rest out of her, but she’d assured him it was nothing, and eventually, he’d let it go. Besides, they had more pressing matters at hand, like Bella’s baby. 

He came about three months after they arrived, a little boy with dark hair and blue eyes. Bella had named him Zachary, after his father. It made sense. He’d always been good to Bella. She had no reason to resent him, if only for the things he’d done to Kiesha. 

If Kiesha’d been in Bella’s position, she would have done the same thing. Zack tended to have that effect on people.

He lingered, seared himself into your memory, made you care about him no matter how awful he was to you. Kiesha didn’t know how he did it, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to forget him. Not for a long time, maybe not ever. 

He haunted her dreams, and he would for years.

But something about her family’s presence calmed her, soothed the terror, made the pain fade over time. And once the pain faded away, more room opened up inside her.

Room for joy. Love. Hope.

She healed over time, slowly but surely, never quite the same as before, changed, but unbroken. Whole, less fragile every day.

Bella became like a sister, Zachary like a nephew. 

Kiesha stepped into her mother’s old role, with Hera’s help. 

She learned sign, becoming quite proficient. 

She grew strong enough to work on the farm again. Strong enough to care for her siblings, to take care of her father. 

The day he died, he’d taken her face in his hands, kissed her forehead, and said, “Remember, Kiesha. You’ll never be lost.”

Tears slipped down her face as he took a labored breath. 

“Even when it feels like you’re all alone, there’s always going to be someone looking out for you. And when you’re ready to come home, gumdrop, we’ll be waiting.”

 

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

15 hours ago, Kajsa said:

here's the final installment of kiesha's story! 

  Hide contents

TEN

 

 

 

She closed her eyes and drew in a breath of the cool, crisp air through her nose. The small wooden wagon rattled over nearly every imperfection in the road, sometimes sending jolts of pain through her body. She was still healing, but she was in much better shape than she had been a few weeks before. She’d managed to start stomaching food again, little by little; her gunshot wound was starting to scar over, and she was stronger than she’d been for months. 

There was still the weight of her mother’s death on her shoulders—and, heavier still, Celia and Shaeli—and even Zack’s, but somehow, she could almost breathe again.

Spring was here, Kieran was recovering, and their father had managed to get another job–much more reliable, with steady income. They’d still tend the farm, but most of the responsibility would fall to Kiesha, Kieran, and Hera.

The wagon stopped, and her siblings hopped down. Kieran offered his hand, which she took, stepping onto the grass uncertainly. Her legs wobbled a little, so he steadied her. She smiled, and he smiled back, gave her hand a squeeze, then released her. 

Just before their dad drove the cart away, toward the barn, Bella got out behind Kiesha, resting both of her hands on her very pregnant belly. A pang of guilt shot through Kiesha as she glanced at the widow’s grief-stricken face. It looked like she was trying to hide the pain, which only made it worse. 

Kiesha looked quickly away.

Bella had been silent ever since that day. Though she’d experienced a few of Zack’s mood swings, she hadn’t realized how dangerous he’d been; she–like Kiesha–had loved him, looked after him, cared for him. They’d both been blinded by their love for him, lied themselves into believing things would change, though for Bella, it was more justified. He’d been gentler with her, maybe even really loved her. She’d been things to him Kiesha never could.

Kiesha had spent the last few weeks wondering if there was anything they could have done to save him—anything at all. She’d voiced her thoughts aloud on several occasions, and her father had assured her that he’d been too far gone, but that didn’t stop her from wondering. It didn’t stop the pain. Because in the end, he’d never really changed. He’d always been the same little boy—scared and hurt, trying to protect himself. If Kiesha had just done more, maybe he’d have let her help him, and… and he wouldn’t be dead. 

But that kind of thinking was dangerous. She’d seen what it could do to people; it had been what killed Hera’s mom. Kiesha couldn’t afford to die when so many people still needed her.

Kieran grabbed Kiesha’s hand and pulled her forward over the rain-soaked, pebbled ground. Hera led them, and Bella lagged several feet behind. The ocean crashed in the distance, growing louder with each step. The road ended, and they veered off into the forest on a small earthen trail. Kieran scanned the forest, looking for the marked trees.

For the path.

Hera didn’t need to look anymore, it was so second nature, and once upon a time, Kiesha hadn’t had to either. But after being in the city for two years, with so much stress and so many things to remember, she needed the markings. It felt, in a way, like another failure.

She let Kieran pull her along, feet still dragging a little, lungs winded. She huffed with each step, feeling dizzy. The salty air didn’t help. It had once nurtured her, healed her, and now it suffocated her.

Would her siblings be okay? Would it still be the same?—no, of course it wouldn’t. What a stupid question. 

Finally, they reached the stepping-stone path that led off to the farm in one direction and home in the other. Home. She was so close… so why did she feel like this? 

The pounding of her heart in her chest was like a hammer, striking her ribcage over and over, throat constricting. Her vision wavered, hot and uncertain, and she couldn’t breathe. Her shoes felt full of rocks, the air like water. 

Suddenly, she collapsed, landing hard on her knees. Kieran frowned, then crouched down across from her and signed something. Her name, like a question; he’d taught her her name in sign language while she was recovering. 

She stared into his face for a moment, but she couldn’t bear to see the look he was giving her—eyebrows pinched together, soft eyes full of concern. A sob tore from her chest, then another, and more, so visceral and sharp that there was no room in her lungs for air. Tears streamed down her face, and soon she could taste them. 

Bella called to Hera, who rushed over and knelt down next to her sister. She reached out and took both of her hands. “Are you hurt?”

She shook her head and choked out, “I can’t do it. I c-can’t come ba-ack and look into their faces an–d act like it’s not all my fault. I could have d-done more. I could have done something. I-I should have died instead!”

Hera stiffened, something flickering across her face. She grabbed Kiesha around the shoulders and hugged her so tight–too tight. “No, Kiesha,” she murmured. Her voice was soft, but there was a sternness in the way she said it. “You did everything you could.”

“No, I-I didn’t,” she sobbed.

“What else could you have done, Kiesha?” She asked softly, rocking her sister.

“Anything. I had o-options. I should ha–ave just become a–a whore, I would have made money, at least, wou–uld have had a p-place to sleep—”

“At what cost?” Hera pulled back to look Kiesha in the face. She sniffled, holding back tears of her own.

“I don’t care. Not anymore.” 

Hera pulled her back in, and Kieran embraced them both. Kiesha sobbed hysterically, soaking their shirts with tears. All that time on the streets, and she’d done nothing, surviving while her family was wasting away. Surviving while her mother and little sisters died.

It would have been better if she hadn’t had any options. It would have been better if she couldn’t have made a choice. 

Their father returned before Kiesha’s sobs ebbed. He pulled his children off of her, ordering them to take Bella to the cabin. They were reluctant but did as they were told. He knelt down across from his daughter, who bowed her head, hiding her face in her dark hair. She was too ashamed to let him look at her. 

“Kiesha,” he said softly. She turned away, gasping for air through the tears and trying to get them to stop. They didn’t, but at least the sobs slowed.

“Kiesha.”

Still, she didn’t respond.

He scooted closer, then reached out and gently turned her face toward him, tilting her chin up so her eyes were level with his. She stared up at the sky instead. He couldn’t make her look at him. 

“Look at me,” he whispered. His voice sounded thick, laced with heartbreak.

A painstaking, unchanging moment followed, and out of her peripheral, she saw his shoulders slump. 

“Dad…” she glanced past him into the trees.

“You’re home,” he whispered. “It’s okay, Kiesha.”

It didn’t feel like she was home. It felt dark, cold, and unfamiliar. The trees loomed over them, branches like hands reaching, clawing for the last tiny shred of sanity Kiesha had left, or maybe reaching for her father, trying take away one of the last things she had, murderous, snide, reaching closer and closer—

“Gumdrop. Look at me, please.”

She closed her eyes, then opened them again, caving. His dark eyes were warm, safe. Familiar. But they’d lost their twinkle, the joy he’d always carried with him until… until Kieran’s accident.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, another pang of guilt punching her in the gut. 

“It’s not your fault. It’s not. None of this is, gumdrop.”

Yes, it is, she wanted to say. Leave me here to die. My best wasn’t enough. I’m worthless now.

But she didn’t. She couldn’t let him hear her say that. It would just break him worse, make him hate Zack more, maybe make him resent Bella as a product. She was still just his little girl, lost and scared, and all he wanted to do was take her home. 

So she let him.

He hugged her until she stopped crying, then lifted her to her feet and held her hand as they walked home in silence. The ocean filled the silence, growing louder as the drew closer to the cabin. Kiesha still felt unable to breathe, still felt ready to break down at any moment, and she knew she probably would when they got there. 

As they rounded the bend, coming within sight of the cabin, she could hear yelling, gleeful shouts as one by one, the six of her remaining siblings noticed her and bounded over to tackle her. 

Two of them were too young to remember who she was, but they followed the rest of their brothers and sisters anyway and congregated around her legs. 

Celia, Shaeli, and Deena’s absences were so loud, and Vesta’s was even more piercing, but somehow, as her siblings wrapped her in their arms and eventually pulled her into the warm house, it didn’t feel so heavy. Kiesha felt herself smiling and even laughing through the sobs as they all peppered her with questions and bombarded her with every kind of news and told her how much they’d missed her and how much they loved her.

Loved her.

She didn’t realize she’d been expecting resentment until those words came out of their mouths, and they were somehow more piercing, more painful than anything. But in a way, it was a good kind of pain. An aching, a bittersweetness like she’d never felt. 

Rene, her twelve-year-old, dark-haired brother blurted, “Is Zack coming?” 

Everything crashed back down. “...N-no. No, he’s not.”

“Aw, man. Why not?”

“Because he’s gone,” Kiesha murmured. “Dead.”

A silence settled over the room, a heaviness that felt too respectful, too powerful, too sad for a man like him. 

And yet, Kiesha couldn’t find it in herself to break it.

 

—

 

Time moved slowly. 

In the beginning, Kiesha felt empty most days, the absence of her mother and little sisters shadowing her, Zack’s ghost always hovering nearby. The world felt muted, and at the same time, it spun too quickly. Moments flew by before she could catch them, everybody had so much to say, and she felt paralyzed. It took effort to move around. She smiled rarely and laughed even less, and despite the warmth of the cabin, she always wore more layers than she needed to. She’d spent too long in the cold, too long hungry.

Her family noticed, and they were all doing their best to adjust, to relearn who she was, who she’d become, how the city had changed her. They all stayed by her side whenever they could, keeping her company; someone was always by her side, chatting or just being, sometimes with one of the hounds at their heels. She was almost never alone, and there was always something to do, something to keep her mind off of the pain, to distract her. Work to attend to.

And that helped. 

She finally told her father everything that had happened, though she left out some of the worse details. He didn’t deserve to carry around her pain—and besides, what would happen to them if he ended up doing something stupid for her? He’d already killed Zack. He’d tried to pry the rest out of her, but she’d assured him it was nothing, and eventually, he’d let it go. Besides, they had more pressing matters at hand, like Bella’s baby. 

He came about three months after they arrived, a little boy with dark hair and blue eyes. Bella had named him Zachary, after his father. It made sense. He’d always been good to Bella. She had no reason to resent him, if only for the things he’d done to Kiesha. 

If Kiesha’d been in Bella’s position, she would have done the same thing. Zack tended to have that effect on people.

He lingered, seared himself into your memory, made you care about him no matter how awful he was to you. Kiesha didn’t know how he did it, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to forget him. Not for a long time, maybe not ever. 

He haunted her dreams, and he would for years.

But something about her family’s presence calmed her, soothed the terror, made the pain fade over time. And once the pain faded away, more room opened up inside her.

Room for joy. Love. Hope.

She healed over time, slowly but surely, never quite the same as before, changed, but unbroken. Whole, less fragile every day.

Bella became like a sister, Zachary like a nephew. 

Kiesha stepped into her mother’s old role, with Hera’s help. 

She learned sign, becoming quite proficient. 

She grew strong enough to work on the farm again. Strong enough to care for her siblings, to take care of her father. 

The day he died, he’d taken her face in his hands, kissed her forehead, and said, “Remember, Kiesha. You’ll never be lost.”

Tears slipped down her face as he took a labored breath. 

“Even when it feels like you’re all alone, there’s always going to be someone looking out for you. And when you’re ready to come home, gumdrop, we’ll be waiting.”

 

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

Scud you- you made me cry -__-

It's so good

Spoiler

HER DAD AHHHHHHHh

 

[Wittles he/him]

16 hours ago, Kajsa said:

here's the final installment of kiesha's story! 

  Reveal hidden contents

TEN

 

 

 

She closed her eyes and drew in a breath of the cool, crisp air through her nose. The small wooden wagon rattled over nearly every imperfection in the road, sometimes sending jolts of pain through her body. She was still healing, but she was in much better shape than she had been a few weeks before. She’d managed to start stomaching food again, little by little; her gunshot wound was starting to scar over, and she was stronger than she’d been for months. 

There was still the weight of her mother’s death on her shoulders—and, heavier still, Celia and Shaeli—and even Zack’s, but somehow, she could almost breathe again.

Spring was here, Kieran was recovering, and their father had managed to get another job–much more reliable, with steady income. They’d still tend the farm, but most of the responsibility would fall to Kiesha, Kieran, and Hera.

The wagon stopped, and her siblings hopped down. Kieran offered his hand, which she took, stepping onto the grass uncertainly. Her legs wobbled a little, so he steadied her. She smiled, and he smiled back, gave her hand a squeeze, then released her. 

Just before their dad drove the cart away, toward the barn, Bella got out behind Kiesha, resting both of her hands on her very pregnant belly. A pang of guilt shot through Kiesha as she glanced at the widow’s grief-stricken face. It looked like she was trying to hide the pain, which only made it worse. 

Kiesha looked quickly away.

Bella had been silent ever since that day. Though she’d experienced a few of Zack’s mood swings, she hadn’t realized how dangerous he’d been; she–like Kiesha–had loved him, looked after him, cared for him. They’d both been blinded by their love for him, lied themselves into believing things would change, though for Bella, it was more justified. He’d been gentler with her, maybe even really loved her. She’d been things to him Kiesha never could.

Kiesha had spent the last few weeks wondering if there was anything they could have done to save him—anything at all. She’d voiced her thoughts aloud on several occasions, and her father had assured her that he’d been too far gone, but that didn’t stop her from wondering. It didn’t stop the pain. Because in the end, he’d never really changed. He’d always been the same little boy—scared and hurt, trying to protect himself. If Kiesha had just done more, maybe he’d have let her help him, and… and he wouldn’t be dead. 

But that kind of thinking was dangerous. She’d seen what it could do to people; it had been what killed Hera’s mom. Kiesha couldn’t afford to die when so many people still needed her.

Kieran grabbed Kiesha’s hand and pulled her forward over the rain-soaked, pebbled ground. Hera led them, and Bella lagged several feet behind. The ocean crashed in the distance, growing louder with each step. The road ended, and they veered off into the forest on a small earthen trail. Kieran scanned the forest, looking for the marked trees.

For the path.

Hera didn’t need to look anymore, it was so second nature, and once upon a time, Kiesha hadn’t had to either. But after being in the city for two years, with so much stress and so many things to remember, she needed the markings. It felt, in a way, like another failure.

She let Kieran pull her along, feet still dragging a little, lungs winded. She huffed with each step, feeling dizzy. The salty air didn’t help. It had once nurtured her, healed her, and now it suffocated her.

Would her siblings be okay? Would it still be the same?—no, of course it wouldn’t. What a stupid question. 

Finally, they reached the stepping-stone path that led off to the farm in one direction and home in the other. Home. She was so close… so why did she feel like this? 

The pounding of her heart in her chest was like a hammer, striking her ribcage over and over, throat constricting. Her vision wavered, hot and uncertain, and she couldn’t breathe. Her shoes felt full of rocks, the air like water. 

Suddenly, she collapsed, landing hard on her knees. Kieran frowned, then crouched down across from her and signed something. Her name, like a question; he’d taught her her name in sign language while she was recovering. 

She stared into his face for a moment, but she couldn’t bear to see the look he was giving her—eyebrows pinched together, soft eyes full of concern. A sob tore from her chest, then another, and more, so visceral and sharp that there was no room in her lungs for air. Tears streamed down her face, and soon she could taste them. 

Bella called to Hera, who rushed over and knelt down next to her sister. She reached out and took both of her hands. “Are you hurt?”

She shook her head and choked out, “I can’t do it. I c-can’t come ba-ack and look into their faces an–d act like it’s not all my fault. I could have d-done more. I could have done something. I-I should have died instead!”

Hera stiffened, something flickering across her face. She grabbed Kiesha around the shoulders and hugged her so tight–too tight. “No, Kiesha,” she murmured. Her voice was soft, but there was a sternness in the way she said it. “You did everything you could.”

“No, I-I didn’t,” she sobbed.

“What else could you have done, Kiesha?” She asked softly, rocking her sister.

“Anything. I had o-options. I should ha–ave just become a–a whore, I would have made money, at least, wou–uld have had a p-place to sleep—”

“At what cost?” Hera pulled back to look Kiesha in the face. She sniffled, holding back tears of her own.

“I don’t care. Not anymore.” 

Hera pulled her back in, and Kieran embraced them both. Kiesha sobbed hysterically, soaking their shirts with tears. All that time on the streets, and she’d done nothing, surviving while her family was wasting away. Surviving while her mother and little sisters died.

It would have been better if she hadn’t had any options. It would have been better if she couldn’t have made a choice. 

Their father returned before Kiesha’s sobs ebbed. He pulled his children off of her, ordering them to take Bella to the cabin. They were reluctant but did as they were told. He knelt down across from his daughter, who bowed her head, hiding her face in her dark hair. She was too ashamed to let him look at her. 

“Kiesha,” he said softly. She turned away, gasping for air through the tears and trying to get them to stop. They didn’t, but at least the sobs slowed.

“Kiesha.”

Still, she didn’t respond.

He scooted closer, then reached out and gently turned her face toward him, tilting her chin up so her eyes were level with his. She stared up at the sky instead. He couldn’t make her look at him. 

“Look at me,” he whispered. His voice sounded thick, laced with heartbreak.

A painstaking, unchanging moment followed, and out of her peripheral, she saw his shoulders slump. 

“Dad…” she glanced past him into the trees.

“You’re home,” he whispered. “It’s okay, Kiesha.”

It didn’t feel like she was home. It felt dark, cold, and unfamiliar. The trees loomed over them, branches like hands reaching, clawing for the last tiny shred of sanity Kiesha had left, or maybe reaching for her father, trying take away one of the last things she had, murderous, snide, reaching closer and closer—

“Gumdrop. Look at me, please.”

She closed her eyes, then opened them again, caving. His dark eyes were warm, safe. Familiar. But they’d lost their twinkle, the joy he’d always carried with him until… until Kieran’s accident.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, another pang of guilt punching her in the gut. 

“It’s not your fault. It’s not. None of this is, gumdrop.”

Yes, it is, she wanted to say. Leave me here to die. My best wasn’t enough. I’m worthless now.

But she didn’t. She couldn’t let him hear her say that. It would just break him worse, make him hate Zack more, maybe make him resent Bella as a product. She was still just his little girl, lost and scared, and all he wanted to do was take her home. 

So she let him.

He hugged her until she stopped crying, then lifted her to her feet and held her hand as they walked home in silence. The ocean filled the silence, growing louder as the drew closer to the cabin. Kiesha still felt unable to breathe, still felt ready to break down at any moment, and she knew she probably would when they got there. 

As they rounded the bend, coming within sight of the cabin, she could hear yelling, gleeful shouts as one by one, the six of her remaining siblings noticed her and bounded over to tackle her. 

Two of them were too young to remember who she was, but they followed the rest of their brothers and sisters anyway and congregated around her legs. 

Celia, Shaeli, and Deena’s absences were so loud, and Vesta’s was even more piercing, but somehow, as her siblings wrapped her in their arms and eventually pulled her into the warm house, it didn’t feel so heavy. Kiesha felt herself smiling and even laughing through the sobs as they all peppered her with questions and bombarded her with every kind of news and told her how much they’d missed her and how much they loved her.

Loved her.

She didn’t realize she’d been expecting resentment until those words came out of their mouths, and they were somehow more piercing, more painful than anything. But in a way, it was a good kind of pain. An aching, a bittersweetness like she’d never felt. 

Rene, her twelve-year-old, dark-haired brother blurted, “Is Zack coming?” 

Everything crashed back down. “...N-no. No, he’s not.”

“Aw, man. Why not?”

“Because he’s gone,” Kiesha murmured. “Dead.”

A silence settled over the room, a heaviness that felt too respectful, too powerful, too sad for a man like him. 

And yet, Kiesha couldn’t find it in herself to break it.

 

—

 

Time moved slowly. 

In the beginning, Kiesha felt empty most days, the absence of her mother and little sisters shadowing her, Zack’s ghost always hovering nearby. The world felt muted, and at the same time, it spun too quickly. Moments flew by before she could catch them, everybody had so much to say, and she felt paralyzed. It took effort to move around. She smiled rarely and laughed even less, and despite the warmth of the cabin, she always wore more layers than she needed to. She’d spent too long in the cold, too long hungry.

Her family noticed, and they were all doing their best to adjust, to relearn who she was, who she’d become, how the city had changed her. They all stayed by her side whenever they could, keeping her company; someone was always by her side, chatting or just being, sometimes with one of the hounds at their heels. She was almost never alone, and there was always something to do, something to keep her mind off of the pain, to distract her. Work to attend to.

And that helped. 

She finally told her father everything that had happened, though she left out some of the worse details. He didn’t deserve to carry around her pain—and besides, what would happen to them if he ended up doing something stupid for her? He’d already killed Zack. He’d tried to pry the rest out of her, but she’d assured him it was nothing, and eventually, he’d let it go. Besides, they had more pressing matters at hand, like Bella’s baby. 

He came about three months after they arrived, a little boy with dark hair and blue eyes. Bella had named him Zachary, after his father. It made sense. He’d always been good to Bella. She had no reason to resent him, if only for the things he’d done to Kiesha. 

If Kiesha’d been in Bella’s position, she would have done the same thing. Zack tended to have that effect on people.

He lingered, seared himself into your memory, made you care about him no matter how awful he was to you. Kiesha didn’t know how he did it, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to forget him. Not for a long time, maybe not ever. 

He haunted her dreams, and he would for years.

But something about her family’s presence calmed her, soothed the terror, made the pain fade over time. And once the pain faded away, more room opened up inside her.

Room for joy. Love. Hope.

She healed over time, slowly but surely, never quite the same as before, changed, but unbroken. Whole, less fragile every day.

Bella became like a sister, Zachary like a nephew. 

Kiesha stepped into her mother’s old role, with Hera’s help. 

She learned sign, becoming quite proficient. 

She grew strong enough to work on the farm again. Strong enough to care for her siblings, to take care of her father. 

The day he died, he’d taken her face in his hands, kissed her forehead, and said, “Remember, Kiesha. You’ll never be lost.”

Tears slipped down her face as he took a labored breath. 

“Even when it feels like you’re all alone, there’s always going to be someone looking out for you. And when you’re ready to come home, gumdrop, we’ll be waiting.”

 

 

 

THE END

 

 

 

I LOVED THAT

Spoiler

I really like how she's like, out of the awful situation, and is definitely better, but is still really struggling with things.

It feels very realistic, cuz you don't just "get better" after something like that

 

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

1 hour ago, Through The Living Glass said:

Scud you- you made me cry -__-

It's so good

  Reveal hidden contents

HER DAD AHHHHHHHh

 

YAY MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA
thanks :3

Spoiler

I KNOWWW

18 minutes ago, Wittles said:

I LOVED THAT

  Reveal hidden contents

I really like how she's like, out of the awful situation, and is definitely better, but is still really struggling with things.

It feels very realistic, cuz you don't just "get better" after something like that

 

THANKS WITTLES

Spoiler

ikr healing is such a process and it’s absolutely not linear and i really wanted to express that in this

 

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

So I just read the story

And uh

Wow

It's really really good

All the characters are really well written but especially Kiesha and Zack (I want so much to hug her and kill him respectively)

And all their relationship, especially at the start, is extremely well written

So yeah

I really really liked it

And I will watch your career with great interest

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, Just A Silvereye said:

So I just read the story

And uh

Wow

It's really really good

All the characters are really well written but especially Kiesha and Zack (I want so much to hug her and kill him respectively)

And all their relationship, especially at the start, is extremely well written

So yeah

I really really liked it

And I will watch your career with great interest

RIIIIIIGHT??

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

1 minute ago, Just A Silvereye said:

So I just read the story

And uh

Wow

It's really really good

All the characters are really well written but especially Kiesha and Zack (I want so much to hug her and kill him respectively)

And all their relationship, especially at the start, is extremely well written

So yeah

I really really liked it

And I will watch your career with great interest

oh my gosh thank you so much  this means so much to me you don't even know haha

i wondered who was going through and repping all my posts--

i'm so glad you liked it!!!!!

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

hello children

i have a random thing for my kiesha fanbase

i wanted to make a thing that sounds like/kinda represents that liminal space she goes to in the eighth scene 

Spoiler

that one where she almost dies and sees her mom and sisters

so i made a video

the video part's not really important, it's the SOUND that i focused on

it has like six layers of sound at any given time lolllllll

anyway without further adue here it is

Spoiler

 

(@Through The Living Glass @Just A Silvereye @echo74 @Wittles @Cash67 since i'm pretty sure y'all are the ones that have read it--)

Spoiler

one lil detail i think is kinda cool about it

Spoiler

is if you listen hard enough, in the background near the middle, there's a girl whispering "wake up"

Spoiler

just thought that was symbolic in several ways  

 

 

 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, Kajsa said:

hello children

i have a random thing for my kiesha fanbase

i wanted to make a thing that sounds like/kinda represents that liminal space she goes to in the eighth scene 

  Reveal hidden contents

that one where she almost dies and sees her mom and sisters

so i made a video

the video part's not really important, it's the SOUND that i focused on

it has like six layers of sound at any given time lolllllll

anyway without further adue here it is

  Hide contents

 

 

(@Through The Living Glass @Just A Silvereye @echo74 @Wittles @Cash67 since i'm pretty sure y'all are the ones that have read it--)

  Reveal hidden contents

one lil detail i think is kinda cool about it

  Hide contents

is if you listen hard enough, in the background near the middle, there's a girl whispering "wake up"

  Hide contents

just thought that was symbolic in several ways  

 

 

 

awwwww

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

57 minutes ago, Kajsa said:

hello children

i have a random thing for my kiesha fanbase

i wanted to make a thing that sounds like/kinda represents that liminal space she goes to in the eighth scene 

  Reveal hidden contents

that one where she almost dies and sees her mom and sisters

so i made a video

the video part's not really important, it's the SOUND that i focused on

it has like six layers of sound at any given time lolllllll

anyway without further adue here it is

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

(@Through The Living Glass @Just A Silvereye @echo74 @Wittles @Cash67 since i'm pretty sure y'all are the ones that have read it--)

  Reveal hidden contents

one lil detail i think is kinda cool about it

  Hide contents

is if you listen hard enough, in the background near the middle, there's a girl whispering "wake up"

  Hide contents

just thought that was symbolic in several ways  

 

 

 

wh-

don't kill me but uh

Spoiler

what

Spoiler

the heck

Spoiler

is adue

Spoiler

   

 

 

 

 

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

1 minute ago, Halcyon The Only said:

wh-

don't kill me but uh

  Reveal hidden contents

what

  Hide contents

the heck

  Hide contents

is adue

  Hide contents

   

 

 

 

 

scud i scudding spelled it wrong

it's supposed to be "ado"

scudding

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

4 minutes ago, Kajsa said:

scud i scudding spelled it wrong

it's supposed to be "ado"

scudding

*snickers*

ily :3 

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

2 minutes ago, Halcyon The Only said:

*snickers*

ily :3 

ily222222222222222222  

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

fondue

[Wittles he/him]

1 hour ago, Kajsa said:

hello children

i have a random thing for my kiesha fanbase

i wanted to make a thing that sounds like/kinda represents that liminal space she goes to in the eighth scene 

  Reveal hidden contents

that one where she almost dies and sees her mom and sisters

so i made a video

the video part's not really important, it's the SOUND that i focused on

it has like six layers of sound at any given time lolllllll

anyway without further adue here it is

  Hide contents

 

 

(@Through The Living Glass @Just A Silvereye @echo74 @Wittles @Cash67 since i'm pretty sure y'all are the ones that have read it--)

  Hide contents

one lil detail i think is kinda cool about it

  Hide contents

is if you listen hard enough, in the background near the middle, there's a girl whispering "wake up"

  Hide contents

just thought that was symbolic in several ways  

 

 

 

THAT'S SO COOL!!

DID YOU DO THE SOUND YOURSELF??

If not it's still awesome, but the layering and everything is really good

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

5 hours ago, Kajsa said:

hello children

i have a random thing for my kiesha fanbase

i wanted to make a thing that sounds like/kinda represents that liminal space she goes to in the eighth scene 

  Reveal hidden contents

that one where she almost dies and sees her mom and sisters

so i made a video

the video part's not really important, it's the SOUND that i focused on

it has like six layers of sound at any given time lolllllll

anyway without further adue here it is

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

(@Through The Living Glass @Just A Silvereye @echo74 @Wittles @Cash67 since i'm pretty sure y'all are the ones that have read it--)

  Reveal hidden contents

one lil detail i think is kinda cool about it

  Reveal hidden contents

is if you listen hard enough, in the background near the middle, there's a girl whispering "wake up"

  Reveal hidden contents

just thought that was symbolic in several ways  

 

 

 

That's pretty cool! 

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

8 hours ago, Wittles said:

THAT'S SO COOL!!

DID YOU DO THE SOUND YOURSELF??

If not it's still awesome, but the layering and everything is really good

THANKS!

no… most of the sound came from clipchamp and 

scud

i can’t remember the other one

but short answer no

AND THANKS!

5 hours ago, Just A Silvereye said:

That's pretty cool! 

thanks!

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

okay hello humans it's me again

and yes

this is, again, about kiesha novella

SEE BECAUSE IT NEEDS A TITLE

i've been calling it "All That Remains" just to see how that fit on and i absolutely hate it

like

so much

i was thinking maybe something that resembles the ending when she has to learn how to live life again and give herself grace and make mistakes and be human and breathe and HEAL

and one idea i have (totally not chatgpt what--) is To Walk Again

i like that one a lot

but i still

hmmmmm idk

so 

if anybody has ideas PLEASE GIVE I WOULD SO APPRECIATE

[kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ she/her]

HELLO HUMANS I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE

okay so for my art class my teacher is offering some extra credit opportunities and for one of them we can draw our fave character from smth random

and i asked her if i could do my OCs, and she said yes

so i'm doing two of mine and their friend group with @Bird Furious' 

but i have a dilemma

i need references

i was thinking a selfie situation

or maybe that one BOTW group pic with all the champions--@Wittles knows what i'm talkin bout

i also need to figure out if i should do just the OG four characters OR ADD CHAN AND REANNE BECAUSE THEY'RE SO ICONIC AND I LOVE THEM but they're also not OGs so IDK WHAT TO DO PLEASE HELP

@Mag i could use your artistic expertise

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

21 minutes ago, Kajsa said:

or maybe that one BOTW group pic with all the champions--@Wittles knows what i'm talkin bout

I love that pic it's so cuuuuute

ehe

hmmmm yeah that pose would be cute

*vanishes*

[Cash67]

36 minutes ago, Kajsa said:

HELLO HUMANS I REQUIRE ASSISTANCE

okay so for my art class my teacher is offering some extra credit opportunities and for one of them we can draw our fave character from smth random

and i asked her if i could do my OCs, and she said yes

so i'm doing two of mine and their friend group with @Bird Furious' 

but i have a dilemma

i need references

i was thinking a selfie situation

or maybe that one BOTW group pic with all the champions--@Wittles knows what i'm talkin bout

i also need to figure out if i should do just the OG four characters OR ADD CHAN AND REANNE BECAUSE THEY'RE SO ICONIC AND I LOVE THEM but they're also not OGs so IDK WHAT TO DO PLEASE HELP

@Mag i could use your artistic expertise

Do this one /joking spoilered for size

Spoiler