Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, Kelsier calls you Shock because of the rare type of spren you are. You are a Staticspren. Not because of the electrical reasons, but because you remain in a constant stasis, never to move except when your Radiant wills you to. Oh, and also, the surges you grant are Stupidity and LackofTui. I’ll let you interpret those.

I wish to have a Nahel bond with a Staticspren.

[Zath he/him]

2 hours ago, AonEne said:

What do you think it means? It's Weiss with Zwei's face. I can't find the image right now.

Oh.  That is nowhere near as disturbing as I what I was thinking.  (This feels like a certain scene from The Emperor's New Groove...)
Bad brain!  <smacks forehead>  Why do you always leap to the worst possible conclusions?!  Shame on you!
...If you really want to know what I was thinking: 

Spoiler

Be warned, you cannot un-think it...

Spoiler

I was thinking Zweiss was the only RWBY fandom ship more disturbing than Enabler.  GACK.  Now excuse me while I go scrub my mind clean with a wire brush.

 

Also, I know Apollyon already granted this, but... <stage whisper> I had Kelsier call you Shock 'cause he was "shocked by your presence." </stage whisper>  Eh?  Get it?  Get it? ...Yes I know.  Not very creative.  I was starting to run out of imagination juice there at the end.

2 hours ago, Apollyon said:

I wish to have a Nahel bond with a Staticspren.

Granted.  The Staticspren looks like a dust bunny.  Its name is Phtephen (with a capital "Phthphthph").  After swearing the Second Ideal of the DoNothings ("I will do nothing today that can be put off until tomorrow"), you are granted the surges of Stupidity and LackofTui.  You and Phtephen enjoy many long hours of rubbing helium balloons against the carpet and then zapping each other with the static electricity this produces.  
It's the simple things in life...

Your bane is that you are now allergic to magazine subscriptions.  You'll have to go to your local library for your monthly fix of... whatever magazine you enjoy.  (Sports Illustrated?  People?  Forbes?  Backpacker?  I dunno, I'm not too familiar with popular magazines).
 

I wish to be a Brass Ferring: a Firesoul!

[The Watcher]

On 2014-09-24 at 9:04 AM, Ashiok said:

 

Edited May 24, 2018 by The Watcher
I can’t delete this stupid comment

[The Watcher]

23 minutes ago, Zath said:

Oh.  That is nowhere near as disturbing as I what I was thinking.  (This feels like a certain scene from The Emperor's New Groove...)
Bad brain!  <smacks forehead>  Why do you always leap to the worst possible conclusions?!  Shame on you!
...If you really want to know what I was thinking: 

  Reveal hidden contents

Be warned, you cannot un-think it...

  Reveal hidden contents

I was thinking Zweiss was the only RWBY fandom ship more disturbing than Enabler.  GACK.  Now excuse me while I go scrub my mind clean with a wire brush.

 

Also, I know Apollyon already granted this, but... <stage whisper> I had Kelsier call you Shock 'cause he was "shocked by your presence." </stage whisper>  Eh?  Get it?  Get it? ...Yes I know.  Not very creative.  I was starting to run out of imagination juice there at the end.

Granted.  The Staticspren looks like a dust bunny.  Its name is Phtephen (with a capital "Phthphthph").  After swearing the Second Ideal of the DoNothings ("I will do nothing today that can be put off until tomorrow"), you are granted the surges of Stupidity and LackofTui.  You and Phtephen enjoy many long hours of rubbing helium balloons against the carpet and then zapping each other with the static electricity this produces.  
It's the simple things in life...

Your bane is that you are now allergic to magazine subscriptions.  You'll have to go to your local library for your monthly fix of... whatever magazine you enjoy.  (Sports Illustrated?  People?  Forbes?  Backpacker?  I dunno, I'm not too familiar with popular magazines).
 

I wish to be a Brass Ferring: a Firesoul!

Granted, sadly you develop an allergy to brass, and get terrible rashes when you are hot. You are forced to live in an igloo all by yourself because you become too grotesque to look at when you are too warm or too close to anything made out of brass. Really dude, just don’t ever go outside. It looks terrible. Your face gets really red and blotchy, you skin gets covered in a rash. You are constantly scratching yourself, you sneeze constantly near brass, and get a terrible rasp in your voice. Your skin tightens and you are forced to slough terribly. You make horrible hacking noises.

i wish to have more Breaths than Susebron the God King

(Anyone know what heightening Susebron was? 10 or 11?  I can’t rememeber what it was)

[NoiseSpren he/him]

Crap

You reach 30th heightening. On this level things arent beautiful but ugly, WERY UGLY. You eventually make a suicide.

 

I wish to be smarter than mr T when he wrote the Diagram.

Edited May 24, 2018 by NoiseSpren

[ScarletSabre he/him]

Granted. However you become so smart everyone around you cannot understand or translate the new language you instinctively create and speak to better convey your words and thoughts, and you lose the ability to understand those around you, hearing only neanderthalic grunts and seeing chickenscratch and squiggles when you look at writing.

I wish to be able to breathe underwater and survive great pressure so I can swim to the bottom of the ocean.

[The Hope of Elantris]

Granted, but as you swim deeper and deeper, there is less light so when you finally get to the bottom of the ocean it appears to be a dark nothingness. 

I wish to see absorbed colors instead of reflected ones. 

[Kidpen he/him]

Granted. This breaks your eyes

@Apollyon This is post 1/3

I wish for napoleon ice cream. No typos here.

Edited May 24, 2018 by Kidpen

[Zath he/him]

17 hours ago, The Watcher said:

Granted, sadly you develop an allergy to brass, and get terrible rashes when you are hot. You are forced to live in an igloo all by yourself because you become too grotesque to look at when you are too warm or too close to anything made out of brass. Really dude, just don’t ever go outside. It looks terrible. Your face gets really red and blotchy, you skin gets covered in a rash. You are constantly scratching yourself, you sneeze constantly near brass, and get a terrible rasp in your voice. Your skin tightens and you are forced to slough terribly. You make horrible hacking noises.

At least I can still introduce myself as "Zath: the Firesoul!" 
...If any Eskimos happen to wander by my igloo and ask me who I am.

6 hours ago, ScarletSabre said:

I wish to be able to breathe underwater and survive great pressure so I can swim to the bottom of the ocean.

Granted! You become this: 

Spoiler

  http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_8424000/8424586.stm

Congratulations!  You're a specific variety of deep-sea anglerfish, also known as a seatoad.  Scientists are fascinated by you, and your friends are simultaneously intrigued and grossed out by the fact that your internal organs are visible.  They're like: 

Spoiler

 https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/339247784414056801/

"OoooOOOoooh, fascinating..."

Your bane is that you now have this thing hunting you... 

Spoiler

 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/special/sci_environment/12/mariana_trench/img/angler_640x360.jpg

And ninja'd... twice.  I put effort into this, storm it! So it's staying. 

7 minutes ago, Kidpen said:

I wish for napoleon ice cream. No typos here

Granted. You get Napoleon ice cream.  There are no typos in it, thank the Almighty.  It's rather good.  The flavor has a certain... Je ne sais quoi. 

Your bane is that Napoleon Bonaparte wants his ice cream back, and he's brought the entire French military to your doorstep.  Hope you're good at diplomacy.  Also, you might want to grab an English-to-French dictionary.

 

I wish to be a ninja.

[Xtafa]

2 hours ago, Zath said:

 

I wish to be a ninja.

Grant, you have become a Mall Ninja, 

You thrive on low quality and cheap swords and knives, everything you own must be "tacticool" and very distasteful.

You are featured in many memes due to your deep love of your $25 'sword'

I wish I could Materialise objects at will, as long as i have stored them in an inventory/pocket dimension first. 

[Jehoiada he/him]

Granted, but you have to face your worst fear every time you put something in your dimension box.

I wish for an abundance of good corndogs.

[AonEne he/him]

Granted, but they all taste like crem. You also can't get rid of them. They're stuck to your hands.

I'm the spren? Oh dear.

I wonder what being a sword is like.

I wish to know what Ideal Kelsier is at so I can know if I should be worried.

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, Kelsier has reached the Fourth Ideal with the oath “I swear to be laz- oh forget it...” This grants him the surge LackofTui, a powerful surge never used before. He tests it, unfortunately for you.

I wish for a bowl of fruit that always refills with fresh fruit of the same kind when one is taken from the bowl.

[AonEne he/him]

Granted, but now YOU are Kelsier's spren instead of me. (I AM FREEEEEE - Ati)

I wish to know what LackOfTui does.

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, so you re-read how I said it was. It’s open to your interpretation. 

I wish to know if Kelsier is the Sovereign...

[ScarletSabre he/him]

Granted, you know for certain whether or not Kelsier is the Sovereign. However you cannot tell anyone, nor give hints in any way or form until it's confirmed one way or another by Brandon either in the books or through WOBs. Then you can say you knew it all along, and see if anyone believes you... Good luck!

I wish to know the secret of making a Bio-Chromatic Entity as strong as Nightblood, preferably without his tendency to devour people who aren't Invested enough.

[NoiseSpren he/him]

Granted. But you have no access to biochromatic breath.

I wish to bond two honorsprens.

[Zath he/him]

21 hours ago, Xtafa said:

You are featured in many memes due to your deep love of your $25 'sword'

It was $23.99, actually.  And I had a coupon.   

10 hours ago, NoiseSpren said:

I wish to bond two honorsprens.

Granted.  You bond two honorspren.  To each other. 

It's a beautiful ceremony, everyone is dressed in their finest, and you officiate the exchanging of vows with superb aplomb. ("Do you take this honorspren to be your lawfully wedded wife?")  As the two newly-wed honorspren fly off to start a beautiful new life together, you find yourself on the verge of happy tears from the joy of the moment. 

Then you realize that this wasn't the boon you had in mind when you visited the Nightwatcher.  You scan the crowd and catch sight of the Nightwatcher near the back.  She smirks at you and vanishes before you can approach.

Your bane is that over the years the honorspren couple keeps asking you to provide gifts for all their little honorsprenlings -- and they seem determined to have an alarmingly large number of descendants.  You can't find it in your heart to refuse (the little tykes are quite adorable), so you become the de facto "rich" uncle for all the honorspren couple's kids, which takes quite a chunk out of your savings account.  But money isn't everything, right?

I wish for computer hacking skills (or "skillz", if you prefer).

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, but your ‘skillz’ involve terrible spelling. Grammar Nazis such as myself unite in an overdramatized quest to end you and all you love.

I wish to have a rock that can turn into a delicious doughnut of my choosing.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

granted, but it still tastes like a rock. It seems to e a doughnut, but do not be fooled.

I wish for sammy the dead rat to be my indentured servant

Edited May 26, 2018 by Gancho Libre

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted but for Sammy to be your personal indentured servant/slave, you must go and stay on the 19th floor. Sorry man.

I wish for a large disembodied extradimensional eyebrow.

[Honor's Radiance]

Granted, but the eyebrow grows uncontrollably until it is so large it cannot in fact fully occupy a single dimension at a time and begins to take over the space in the universe, pushing everything else aside and causing a dramatic change in the physics I just made up as the cosmos begins to collapse.

I wish to hate cooking for myself less.

[Slimy_Slider]

Granted, but now you become addicted to cooking for yourself only. You spend all your time making wonderful, amazing creations in the kitchen but you never let anyone else taste or even see them and nobody believes you about your cooking skills.

 

I wish that Terry Pratchett Returned to write a crossover with Brandon Sanderson that featured Sam Vimes as a Skybreaker.

[Jehoiada he/him]

Granted, but Sam dies in the middle of the book for no apparent reason, then it's later found in the end of the book that he really died for no reason whatsoever.

I wish that I could meet Brandon in a grocery store, then we could have a delightful conversation about the investiture property of potatoes grown on Patji.

[Guest]

You meet Brandon in a grocery store, and you have a delightful conversation about the investiture and tastiness properties of the potatoes grown on Patji. Unfortunately, the potatoes do not like being talked about behind their... backs? And come and drag you back to Patji, where you are slaughtered by a sarcastic trapper (who leaves the potatoes alone, knowing how savage they are).

 

I wish... I wish that the next person after me has their boon transferred to me and my curse transferred to them