Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Devout Pathian]

On 5/27/2018 at 7:56 PM, Slimy_Slider said:

I wish that Terry Pratchett Returned to write a crossover with Brandon Sanderson that featured Sam Vimes as a Skybreaker.

That is amazing.  I love Vimes so much and yes he would be a good Skybreaker, but I do think Carrot would maker a better one, since sometimes Vimes breaks the law, even if it’s not often.

@theRoyalDingusYour wish is granted, but only for one month.  Your curse is that you always feel too hot or too cold, never the right temperature.

Oh Nightwatcher hear my plea, I only ask for the ablity to travel the worlds as Hoid’s companion.

[Apollyon he/him]

The Nightwatcher rubs her chin thoughtfully. “Hmm...” She then suddenly snaps her fingers, making Hoid suddenly appear in the woods aside you. He kneels in respect. “Oh, glorious Nightwatcher, what would you have of me?” He asks. The Nightwatcher points at you and says “You and You, go.” She points out of the forest. As soon as you exit the woods, you become lashed to Hoid, never to leave his side again. The downside is that Hoid eventually grows very ahoid(annoyed) with you and decides to kill you.

I wish for ghanderflaffles to rule the world oh, glorious Nightwatcher.

[AonEne he/him]

Why does Hoid respect the Nightwatcher?

Granted. But humanity gets so ahoid with you that they slaughter all of them. Ever. In every universe, timeline, and thread.

I wish for only one ghanderflaffle to have lived, and for me to own it as a pet.

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, but you see that the ghanderflaffle’s smeller part is broken so it cannot see you. It has to taste you instead. Violently.

I wish to know why Hoid respects the Nightwatcher.

 

[Jehoiada he/him]

One time the Nightwhatcher and Hoid had a drinking match obviously Hoid won but the Nightwatcher was so close to beating him that she earned his respect. Your bane is that your always drunk now.

I wish that I wasn't allergic to like all of outside (it hurts).

 

[Slimy_Slider]

Granted, but you now become allergic to everything inside and indoors.

I wish for an all expenses paid scenic tour of the various Shardworlds on a luxurious cruise (space)ship

[NoiseSpren he/him]

Granted. Odium hunts you down on Braize eventually...

 

I wish to be sliver of Cultivation.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Granted, though I'm pretty sure those are called *splinters* haha. However, your *splinter* is so ridiculously tiny that it seems as though you have nothing at all.

I wish for an end to the fire. By which I mean, EVERY fire on earth, the alleyverse, or the cosmere.

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, the Sticks rise up in a hostile takeover of the world, showing mercy only to fellow sticks. Your bane is that you are now stuck in the form of a pretzel stick, so you survived the conquest of the universe. But now you are left as a static, uncaring pretzel stick that cannot even claim “I am a Stick.”

I wish for an amazingly practical scythe/sniper rifle...

[Zath he/him]

6 hours ago, Apollyon said:

I wish for an amazingly practical scythe/sniper rifle...

Granted.  Your scythe-rifle is amazingly practical -- great for chopping fruit, opening letters, as an impromptu back-scratcher, trimming the hedges, and the sniper function makes it a blast to use in laser-tag.  It's absolutely worthless in a fight, however, because violence is not a practical solution to your problems.  

Your bane is that every other person you meet mistakes you for the Grim Reaper and runs away, screaming at the top of their lungs, "I'm too young to die!  Leave me be, thou fell specter of DEATH!!"

 

You know how when you do laundry, and you have your favorite pair of socks in that load, and somewhere along the way one of them vanishes entirely, never to be seen again?  I wish for that to never happen to anyone ever again.

[Barbarian AL he/him]

14 minutes ago, Zath said:

Granted.  Your scythe-rifle is amazingly practical -- great for chopping fruit, opening letters, as an impromptu back-scratcher, trimming the hedges, and the sniper function makes it a blast to use in laser-tag.  It's absolutely worthless in a fight, however, because violence is not a practical solution to your problems.  

Your bane is that every other person you meet mistakes you for the Grim Reaper and runs away, screaming at the top of their lungs, "I'm too young to die!  Leave me be, thou fell specter of DEATH!!"

 

You know how when you do laundry, and you have your favorite pair of socks in that load, and somewhere along the way one of them vanishes entirely, never to be seen again?  I wish for that to never happen to anyone ever again.

Granted! Innumerable amounts of lost socks suddenly emerge into wherever people keep their socks, seemingly back from the unknown abyss, the oblivion of all footwear. No sock shall ever travel down there again! 

The world must now indure it’s bane. Washing machines seem to have developed an appetite for underwear. The next time you take a look at your sacred drawers, you’ll notice them ever receding.

 

I wish my hair would just stop falling! 

[Rebecca she/her]

Granted. However, now hair has begun growing over your entire body, and you look like Komondor. Well, as fluffy as one.

Spoiler

I wish for a giant orange creamsicle.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Granted. It is a liver-flavored creamsicle that is colored orange. Congrats!

I wish to win a game of Chutes and Ladders.

[ScarletSabre he/him]

Granted, however the chap you win it with is a sadist with a particular sense of irony, and has you thrown down a chute and tries to beat you to death with a ladder as you finish sliding. Poor sportsmanship, that.

I wish to have a 360 degree range of vision.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Granted, but you have terrible fucus, as you happen to no longer have pupils. huh.

anyway, i wish to command the infinite forces of the congo.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Granted. But you fall to the east now.

I wish for a cord of pre chopped wood, so I may be warm for the winter.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

granted. but anyone affiliated with the Church of the Sticks or the sticknaughts rebells and stabbs you through with the One stick.

I wish for upvotes!

[Zath he/him]

1 hour ago, Gancho Libre said:

I wish for upvotes!

Granted!  Your bane is that to receive them, you must make upvote-worthy posts.  

You frown at the Nightwatcher, and she shrugs. "Hey, do you have any idea what the 17th Shard Admins would do to me if I messed around with their upvote system? They'd turn me into a rotting chasmfiend carcass with that omnipotent banhammer of theirs..."

I wish for a glow-stick. Neon blue, please. 

[Kidpen he/him]

Granted. You get a glow-stick. In fact, you get THE glow-stick. The one coveted by all. You are constantly hunted by anyone you meet, and everyone you don't. They are all coming at you in an attempt to get the glow-stick. Unfortunately, the glow-stick will never leave you until you die. it is neon blue though.

@Apollyon You were the one who wanted to know of the commands or whatever it was of the awakened objects, right? If so, this is post 2/3

I wish I knew the answer to the above question.

[Apollyon he/him]

Yes, my question was the command to Hoid's Awakened boxer shorts which are stuck on my head and own all the Instant Noodle shops in the Cosmere.

Your bane is that you must still tell me what the command is on your 3rd post.

I wish for a flaming ant that won't kill me directly or indirectly.

[ScarletSabre he/him]

Granted, however your ant is protective of you, and will set fire to anyone who comes within three feet of you without making a proper offering to it first, and it makes it damnably difficult to sleep at night with how brightly it glows and flickers.

I wish for the power to create ice from my hands as I please.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

Granted. however, because of the porous structure of your hands, the ice cream is melted so it is able to seep through. And if you ever spend too much time in a cold place, and you attempt to summon ice cream, your hands will be pulled apart from the solid structure as it tries to come through.

I wish to win a spelling bee. While holding an actual bee's hive over my head without being hurt in any way.

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, but the judges don’t like the beehive and throw a trophy at it, causing bees to swarm everywhere and stinging anything that breathes minus you. The judges grudgingly hand over the now broken trophy whilst covered in bee stings.

I wish that my high school would do spelling bees.

[+ElephantEarwax he/him]

Granted, but the only word is bee.

I wish for a piece of chocolate cake.

[Gancho Libre he/him]

granted. you get a peice. meaning, a small crumb.

I wish for the nightwatcher to grant me a wish.