Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Mistspren she/her]

Granted, but your time dialation causes summer to go by faster as well, and it is fall within the week. Before you know it, day and night are mere eyeblinks and years go by quicker than Wayne changes hats. You age in moments, and as life flashes by find yourself tumbling into your grave. Hoid thinks this is all terribly amusing, and thanks your Cognitive Shadow for giving him a nice laugh. He then proceeds to use you as a boat for all of eternity.

I wish that I, as the bearer of Cultivation, could defeat Odium.

[Narcoleptic Axolotl he/him]

4 hours ago, Mistspren said:

I wish that I, as the bearer of Cultivation, could defeat Odium.

Fine, but as soon as you do, a spaceship arrives from Scadrial. Before you know it, the Set rules Roshar. You defeated Odium, but you're much weaker for it and you can't save Roshar from the Set, who have developed overpowering technology while you've been worrying about desolations. By the way, the Set have teamed up with the Ghostbloods. They create super technology by combining fabrials with their already great machines. The people of Roshar will be slaves forever. And the worst part is, you know Odium would've been able to stop this.

 

I wish to be a kandra. And, like Bleeder, I know how to get spikes that let me use allomancy/feruchemy.

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, you are a premature kandra. Or specifically a mistwraith. Sorry.

I wish I could be as strong as a koloss whilst retaining my intelligence and appearance.

[AC12 he/him]

30 minutes ago, Apollyon said:

I wish I could be as strong as a koloss whilst retaining my intelligence and appearance.

Granted, however everyone you ever talk to from here on out will start every conversation with "Do you even lift bro?"

I wish to no longer require sleep

Edited May 7, 2018 by AC12

[Darkwalker]

23 minutes ago, AC12 said:

Granted, however everyone you ever talk to from here on out will start every conversation with "Do you even lift bro?"

I wish to no longer require sleep

Granted however you now feel perpetually exhausted

 

 I wish to know the name of the vessel of cultivation

[Zath he/him]

1 hour ago, Darkwalker said:

I wish to know the name of the vessel of cultivation

Granted.  Her name is "Susan".  But only on Tuesdays.  Also, she wants you to respect her life choices.
Your bane is that every third word you say from now on sounds as if it was said by a pre-teen girl with a bad cold.

I wish for INFINITE COSMIC POWER!!  Take that as you will, Ms. Nightwatcher.  (Ms.? Mrs.? "Is there a Mr. Nightwatcher...?" Zath asks.  The Nightwatcher slaps him.  "Ow! Why did you..? Oh. Oh! No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that!" Zath protests, blushing furiously)

[Darkwalker]

4 minutes ago, Zath said:

Granted.  Her name is "Susan".  But only on Tuesdays.  Also, she wants you to respect her life choices.
Your bane is that every third word you say from now on sounds as if it was said by a pre-teen girl with a bad cold.

I wish for INFINITE COSMIC POWER!!  Take that as you will, Ms. Nightwatcher.  (Ms.? Mrs.? "Is there a Mr. Nightwatcher...?" Zath asks.  The Nightwatcher slaps him.  "Ow! Why did you..? Oh. Oh! No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that!" Zath protests, blushing furiously)

Granted but all banes you have made are now void

I wish to be filled with determination

[Rebecca she/her]

Granted, but you are now also prideful and haughty.

I wish for a walking talking pineapple.

[Gray to he/him]

6 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

Granted, but you are now also prideful and haughty.

I wish for a walking talking pineapple.

Granted, but the pineapple is constantly smacking you with its spiny body.

I wish for a spren buddy to always follow me

[Barbarian AL he/him]

2 hours ago, Gray to said:

Granted, but the pineapple is constantly smacking you with its spiny body.

I wish for a spren buddy to always follow me

Granted! Though your spren struggles to maintain sapience and it's memory is wiped clean every hour. 

I wish for ultimate omnipotence.

[Ishar]

Granted, but your frail mortal mind is not capable of processing everything resulting in you going insane.

 

I wish to be a sentient spren.

[Darkwalker]

granted but you are now bonded to a three year old kid

i wish for pasta

Edited May 8, 2018 by Darkwalker

[Barbarian AL he/him]

5 minutes ago, Darkwalker said:

granted but you are now bonded to a three year old kid

i wish for pasta

Granted!

You are doomed to be able to eat pasta only with your bare hands for the rest of your life.

I wish to be more articulate.

 

[Darkwalker]

Just now, Barbarian AL said:

 

You are doomed to be able to eat pasta only with your bare hands for the rest of your life.

 

 

i do this already 

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, but you are so articulate that no one ever wants to speak to you because of your lack of flaws.

I wish to have the original copy of Lightsong’s painting, The Battle at Twilight Falls, for myself to admire and appreciate the beautiful description that Lightsong the Bold gives.

[Xtafa]

Wow server lag. 

Granted, But it is in colours and images you cannot comprehend, for thousands and thousands of years have past, culture shifting, dying. This is all that remains

 

I wish i didnt have lag. 

Edited May 8, 2018 by Xtafa
laggggg

[Apollyon he/him]

1 minute ago, Xtafa said:

Granted; however, when swapping spikes you aimed poorly, landing onto your cat. You are now a mistwraith full of cat bones.

I wish I had regenerative capabilities 

Er... dare I ask which post this was in response to?

[Xtafa]

@Apollyon xD someone wanting to be a Kandra 5 hours ago

Heres yours

 

Granted, But it is in colours and images you cannot comprehend, for thousands and thousands of years have past, culture shifting, dying. This is all that remains

 

I wish i didnt have lag. 

[Apollyon he/him]

Granted, now everyone else has lag, so effectively the internet is a seldom used pile of misshapen chaos.

I wish to have a list of everyone who has taken up the shard Cultivation thanks to this thread.

[Jehoiada he/him]

Granted, but you now have each one of there banes.

I wish to live on each inhabited cosmere planet for six months each.

Edited May 8, 2018 by Jehoiada

[1st of Lunch he/him]

2 minutes ago, Jehoiada said:

I wish to live on each inhabited cosmere planet for six months each.

Granted: you get to live on each planet for 6 months each but every time you switch planets you wake up on the new one with amnesia and have NO clue who you are or where you're from.

[Jehoiada he/him]

1 minute ago, 1st of Lunch said:

Granted: you get to live on each planet for 6 months each but every time you switch planets you wake up on the new one with amnesia and have NO clue who you are or where you're from.

Good one but you forgot to wish

[Apollyon he/him]

Since @1st of Lunch, didn’t wish, I wish I could know how they came up with such a brilliant username.

[+Hoiditthroughthegrapevine he/him]

22 minutes ago, Apollyon said:

I wish to have a list of everyone who has taken up the shard Cultivation thanks to this t

The Nightwatcher hands you a piece of paper and a pencil. After you finish the 15 minute project of compiling your list while looking through this thread, she then turns you into a pinkish colored hat. It's a very special type of hat, with two round protrusions on the bowl of the hat, that pinch inwards towards the center. The hat evokes the rosy buttocks of cherubs seen in Rococo paintings.

Then she turns to Cultivation and says "What an a□□ hat"

I wish that I got this in before @Jehoiada and @1st of Lunch too...

 

3 minutes ago, Jehoiada said:

I wish to live on each inhabited cosmere planet for six months each.

Granted, unfortunately your wish brings obnoxious tourists in a massive scale, and pretty soon everyone's smuggling spren off planet or getting aluminum canteens filled with shardpool water. Pretty soon there's no more investiture on any of the Invested worlds, but Disney does open a Cosmere them park and it's pretty epic.

I wish I could type faster on my phone.

[Jehoiada he/him]

1 minute ago, hoiditthroughthegrapevine said:

I wish that I got this in before @Jehoiada and @1st of Lunch too...

Granted, but now you always live fifteen minutes in the past