Nightwatcher Boon/Bane (Game)

[Grey Knight]

6x9 equals 54, people!

[Ookla the Absent]

Read the Hitchikers' Guide to the Galaxy.

[The Honor Spren she/her]

Granted, you find the 17th shard, but Chaos' Banhammer *slips* at Nightwatcher's bidding.

I wish for a porpoise, along with the means to take care of it.

You are now burdened by a glorious porpoise.

But alas, it caught a rare dolphin cancer, and died within the hour.

I want to get to the reputation level of "honor spren", so that my rep is the same as my name.

[WayneSpren he/him]

You are now burdened by a glorious porpoise. 

But alas, it caught a rare dolphin cancer, and died within the hour. 

I want to get to the reputation level of "honor spren", so that my rep is the same as my name.

You become a double Honor Spren, but you become intangible and barely able to effect the Physical Realm.

 

I want to have 21000 upvotes like Kobold King.

Edited September 2, 2015 by WayneSpren

[Kobold King he/him]

I want to have 21000 upvotes like Kobold King.

 

Granted! You receive 21, 000 upvotes all at once, followed by 21, 000 downvotes spread out over the next couple of months. Your glory will be brief, but enjoyable.

 

 

I wish for the ability to endow random objects with self-awareness and human-level intelligence.

[WayneSpren he/him]

Granted! You receive 21, 000 upvotes all at once, followed by 21, 000 downvotes spread out over the next couple of months. Your glory will be brief, but enjoyable.

 

 

I wish for the ability to endow random objects with self-awareness and human-level intelligence.

 

You succeed, but unfortunately they spout nonsense about destroying evil all the time. Also, they are insane.

This time I want to be a panda.

[Kobold King he/him]

This time I want to be a panda.

 

You are shot by a poacher, your bones ground into a powder and sold to shady millionaires who believe drinking you will enhance their virility.

 

 

I wish to have a reputation for being bloodthirsty and untrustworthy.

[WayneSpren he/him]

You are shot by a poacher, your bones ground into a powder and sold to shady millionaires who believe drinking you will enhance their virility.

 

 

I wish to have a reputation for being bloodthirsty and untrustworthy.

You become Moash. It would be cool, but you also lose your Shards to Kaladin. (That would be a cool fight)

 

I want to be invincible.

[natc]

You are now stuck in the Reckonerverse as a certain character I'm sure you can guess. If my Duralumin-bursted atium flare is accurate, the events play out exactly as written in the books.

[Alfa he/him]

Natc: you hadn't asked for a boon but came to the nightwatcher.

Your boon is, that you can create Duralumin bursts even without Duralumin.

Your curse shall be cruel: from now on you believe that Calamity is a shard.

 

I wish nor Marsh neither the voidbringers would be able to follow me to the top of the mountains.

[The Honor Spren she/her]

After this whole marsh-voidbringer thing is resolved, you will be teleported into Utah, which means "top of the mountains" in some Native American language. Neither Marsh nor the voidbringers will be able to follow you.

I wish to go forward in time, about, oh, two years perhaps?

[Mestiv he/him]

But you will... It'll just take you 2 years

 

But let's say you just skip 2 years. It turns out that everyone everywhere wears only the Borat Swimsuit when they go swimming and no one will explain to you why.

 

I wish I had extra 5 hours of time every day (apart from the normal 24h everyone else has).

Edited September 2, 2015 by Mestiv

[WayneSpren he/him]

You can, but they occur when you wish you were sleeping.

I want to have the next 20 sanderson books.

[TwelfthOfSnackTime he/him]

You can, but they occur when you wish you were sleeping.

I want to have the next 20 sanderson books.

 

 

You receive the next ten books but they are written in Braile.

 

I want to absorb and use investiture directly from the earth

[WayneSpren he/him]

You receive the next ten books but they are written in Braile.

 

I want to absorb and use investiture directly from the earth

 

You can now absorb it, but it is full of dirt and chull dung.

 

I want to make a theory that is not derailed by Oregoners.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

The nightwatcher doesn't have enough power to grant that request. Please make a new request.

I wish for a pie.

[Haelbarde he/him]

You will get it eventually, but when you do, it'll be half gone, with only Pi remaining.

 

I wish I wasn't as tired.

[thekingofpillowland he/him]

Granted, you never feel tired ever again. However, you must consume at least a gallon of coffee, once every 3 hours for the rest of your life, or else you will die.

I wish for the power to transform people into ducks at will.

[Grey Knight]

Granted. You turn into a duck.

 

I wish for a nugget of atium.

[Zathoth]

Granted but everyone tries to take it from you.

 

I wish to be very creative.

[TwelfthOfSnackTime he/him]

You develop the most creative imagination in history, but no way of letting it out.

 

I wish authors would be able to write awesome books faster than I could read them.

[WayneSpren he/him]

They do, but you can never finish the series - new books keep being released.

 

I want to be a moderator.

[thekingofpillowland he/him]

They do, but you can never finish the series - new books keep being released.

 

I want to be a moderator.

You become one. However, your presence now causes internet-capable devices to explode.

I wish to meet Kalak.

[Ookla the Absent]

You are now burdened by a glorious porpoise.

But alas, it caught a rare dolphin cancer, and died within the hour.

 

I wish to meet Kalak.

Granted, but you are another face in the crowd to him. He exchanges a few pleasantries, then rushes off on important business.

 

I wish to have the cure for dolphin cancer. I don't care about human cancer, just my late porpoise.

 

edit: Sorry if that came off as offensive. My grandmother died of cancer, so I know the feeling of losing someone to cancer, but in the alternate reality where I got a porpoise I became quite obsessively attached to it. It's name was Jeremiah.

Edited September 4, 2015 by Gargoyle

[WayneSpren he/him]

You get the cure. A nuke hits the dolphins of the world before you can use it, however.

 

I want to prove to the world that Rainbow Dash is best pony.