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Posted

I thought I heard a commotion outside my lab, and it appears to be new Denizens joining the Alley! What a glorious occurrence! Science smiles on us this day.

On 12/31/2017 at 5:46 PM, Rage said:

Every time I offer cookies someone turns them away and tells them not to.

Any ideas?

Persistence, denial, and discrediting detractors. Remember this simple rule and you'll be set.

On 1/5/2018 at 4:25 AM, Voidus said:

My that's a lot of new denziens, at this rate we may need to invent another dimension to fit everyone. Anyone from R&D know if we found another one after we found that dimension that smelled of purple?

After the Purple one we found the taupe one, which was not somewhere we wanted to set up anything more than an outpost. Then there was the dimension of inverse sound, then the Left dimension, where everything was the left version of things. Everyone was left handed, had two left feet, and so on and so forth. It was looking promising until one of the acolytes that was with me pointed out that 3 lefts make a right, and then the entire dimension collapsed, destroying itself and everything in it, including the acolyte. Rookie mistake. Personally I recommend  a mirror dimension, such as the the one where everything is the same except that all animals are variants of penguins.

Posted
8 hours ago, Fatebreaker said:

I thought I heard a commotion outside my lab, and it appears to be new Denizens joining the Alley! What a glorious occurrence! Science smiles on us this day.

Persistence, denial, and discrediting detractors. Remember this simple rule and you'll be set.

After the Purple one we found the taupe one, which was not somewhere we wanted to set up anything more than an outpost. Then there was the dimension of inverse sound, then the Left dimension, where everything was the left version of things. Everyone was left handed, had two left feet, and so on and so forth. It was looking promising until one of the acolytes that was with me pointed out that 3 lefts make a right, and then the entire dimension collapsed, destroying itself and everything in it, including the acolyte. Rookie mistake. Personally I recommend  a mirror dimension, such as the the one where everything is the same except that all animals are variants of penguins.

Didn't someone start using that place as storage for our spare intelligence spikes? Last I heard the penguins had build a giant death star like construction.

Posted
4 hours ago, Voidus said:

Didn't someone start using that place as storage for our spare intelligence spikes? Last I heard the penguins had build a giant death star like construction.

I haven't heard this story before. What happened? Did the intelligent spikes become self aware and declare war against the penguins. Or they working together to snatch the pocket dimension from the Dark Alley? 

Posted

The impression that I got from the memo was that someone spiked a penguin, who using his new found intelligence spiked all of his brothers. Once they became self aware, we initiated lock down procedures so they couldn't escape. We didn't want another beaver-born inquisition, that was a nightmare. They tried to leave but found the doors locked. Naturally, in order to escape, they judged that the best way to break the fortifications was to build a death star. The death star is currently in construction. I'm not really sure how they are getting the materials, but they are building it.

Posted

Yes, that penguin incident was really not our shining hour. I think we've also found a new dimension that's filled with effervescence. It's a bit difficult to move around in, but otherwise it's nice.

Posted
On 06.01.2018 at 5:15 PM, MacThorstenson said:

Quick question, how are we gonna get knowledge about our new discoveries out of the black hole?

Why is this important? Really i'm asking because idk.

Posted

Well, the reason that we need labs is to discover new things about the science of Hemalurgy right? If we build a lab in a black hole, we need to be able to send data out otherwise the lab is useless and we wasted all the time and money building it.

 

Posted

The reason we built the lab in a black was to limit interference from Shards that don't support the hemalurgic arts (I see you Harmony). Though, there were other reasons. 

Posted (edited)

Aha! I have deduced the best way to recruit people into the DA! Instead of offering cookies to new Sharders, we can offer them cookes with LINKS! We can make a trap thread and send any prospective new members over there! The question is what to put in the thread to recruit...

I'm thinking something like a poll of whether you would eat the cookie or not, then a link to the DA...

Edited by Maelstrom
Posted
44 minutes ago, Maelstrom said:

 

Aha! I have deduced the best way to recruit people into the DA! Instead of offering cookies to new Sharders, we can offer them cookes with LINKS! We can make a trap thread and send any prospective new members over there! The question is what to put in the thread to recruit...

I'm thinking something like a poll of whether you would eat the cookie or not, then a link to the DA..

 

 

This is not a bad idea, lead newcomers into the dark ally with a flaxen cord.

Posted
On 1/10/2018 at 1:30 AM, Voidus said:

Didn't someone start using that place as storage for our spare intelligence spikes? Last I heard the penguins had build a giant death star like construction.

Yes, we were actually testing whether their tendencies towards colonization lead to militarized conglomorations or individualized territorially focused pseudosocieties.

However, our research primarily shows that intelligence spikes have simply lead to a proclivity for puns. While in the field I heard a plethora of puns, such as: "My mother is getting older, I think she may be hard of herring." and "My cousin was a travelling salesman, but he wasn't very good. He could never seal the deal."  and "Teeth."

So far I have classified this as a rousing success. Further testing currently underway.

Posted (edited)

A door opens from the end of the alley, a young man with a black waistcoat and pants, with a tattered shirt walks through, Hey there! I’m looking for some spikes  I... mean... Cookies! You see, our Canton of Combat is running pretty low, how much would they be? I can only pay in boxings or spheres, I’m rather low in funds...

additonally, due to our... er... Proximity... we would like a representative come join! I nominate @Maelstrom for the position!

Edited by Nohadon
Posted

Depends, our pricing is generally focused on three things.

1. How many cookies, if you buy in bulk, we sell cheaper.

2. Cost of transportation. Due to the fact that you are in an under ground fighting club, we could open up an alley right next door, or even into the main fighting room. This would cause transportation costs to be 0. 

3. Whether or not you are returning your spikes. The spikes are expensive and we would rather like to keep the stolen investiture. If you don't want spikes in your cookies and/or you return the spikes, then the price of the cookies drops.

Posted

We would like to buy 80 cookies in jars, spikes included, and since my place is literally the next door, transportation should be Zero!

we only have 3,000 boxings in total, our spending limit is 500, or 80 Broams (Diamond, not Emerald)

Posted

It should be about 400 boxings to buy all of the cookies. If you would like, because these are prepaid, we could distribute them for free from the spikesulate. Though if you wan't to distribute them, that is understandable.

Did you find the disclaimer?

Posted

Or the scream of an eldritch horror beyond human comprehension, birthed from a dimension of chaos and darkness.We only have one of the smaller infinities of them and R&D have them booked out. I want to test this theory on acoustic resonance and Connection.

Posted

I offer a special discount in exchange for identity spikes. Particularly atium ones, because unlike the aluminium ones, you can engrave those with forgeries.

Posted (edited)
41 minutes ago, The Gecko said:

What do I need to do?

@The Gecko All you need to do is make cookie sale and then you'll be free to move up in one of our many state-of-the-art laboratories and start researching Hemalurgy. Good luck! Also, what do you mean by cookie potential from rats?

Edited by The Forgetful Archivist

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