People you wouldn't want to meet in a dark alley

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

I don't have a ferrari in my garage

What's the difference between 1,000 dead babies and a ferrari

I don't use a pitchfork to move my ferrari

[Magestar he/him]

Yeah... That's it.

-sigh-  Why do I even know these things?  My mind has been twisted.

Guys, can someone spike these jokes out of me?  You can give them to Darkness.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

Hi

[kenod]

2 hours ago, Magestar said:

Yeah... That's it.

-sigh-  Why do I even know these things?  My mind has been twisted.

Guys, can someone spike these jokes out of me?  You can give them to Darkness.

I can also just replace it with a different kind of humor, how about I use the Mistborn Jokes Thread?

[Magestar he/him]

Sounds fine.  I'm using an anesthetic; spike away.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

On 8/23/2016 at 0:17 AM, Darkness Ascendant said:

I like dark humour and anti-jokes. I can also make people feel uncomfortable and I sometimes say random things that make people think, w t f........

Whats worse, ten babies in one trash can, or one baby in ten trash cans?

Welcome to the dark alley.

As for your anti-jokes...

Ten trash cans in one baby is worse than either of your options. Just saying.

And ten hemalurgic spikes in one baby is maybe worse than that. Can you imagine a baby koloss? Or a baby steel inquisitor? Storms that sounds so profoundly screwed up.

[Magestar he/him]

I love it.  Imagine raising a baby from birth to be the perfect Inquisitor.  It would end up like Inquisi-Bourne. Sounds awesome.  

Say, I don't suppose you have a spare baby?  And some Lerasium?

And does anyone know what a Lerasium spike does?

Edited August 25, 2016 by Magestar

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Hm... Here's another question. If atium can act like a wildcard as a spiking material, could you copy the effects of lerasium hemalurgy with an atium spike? I think you could, because on the flip side, burning lerasium will grant you atium allomancy.

Although, getting the baby to burn lerasium and then giving it hemalurgic spikes would make it into a super-inquisitor. If the spikes granted feruchemy, then you would have a baby who was more powerful than the Lord Ruler.

So... Don't bring small children into the dark alley unless you want them to be fed spiked cookies.

[Fatebreaker he/him]

On 8/23/2016 at 0:17 AM, Darkness Ascendant said:

I like dark humour and anti-jokes. I can also make people feel uncomfortable and I sometimes say random things that make people think, w t f........

Whats worse, ten babies in one trash can, or one baby in ten trash cans?

Quite humerous, but I was referring to hemalurgic specialties. For example zoohemalurgy, cognitive hemalurgic, temporal hemalurgic, etc.

And the correct answer is one baby and one trashcan spread across the quasiverses.

16 hours ago, Magestar said:

Yeah... That's it.

-sigh-  Why do I even know these things?  My mind has been twisted.

Guys, can someone spike these jokes out of me?  You can give them to Darkness.

We can Spike anything. ANYTHING. However, it's much more practical to simply spike you with Feruchemical copper and have you store the cognitive information in a coppermind. Then it can be burned or accessed at a later date. Or we could just spoke out your sense of humor, whichever you prefer.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

12 hours ago, Magestar said:

I love it.  Imagine raising a baby from birth to be the perfect Inquisitor.  It would end up like Inquisi-Bourne. Sounds awesome.  

Say, I don't suppose you have a spare baby?  And some Lerasium?

And does anyone know what a Lerasium spike does?

remember those babies in my garage.....I think I can spare one

 

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

Anyone up for some ca- HEMALURGIC BAKED GOODS

FATHER NO!

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Hm... Could you use a spike to steal memories from someone?

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

19 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Hm... Could you use a spike to steal memories from someone?

I guess it depends on whether or not memories r tied to the spiritweb

[kenod]

20 hours ago, Drake Marshall said:

Hm... Could you use a spike to steal memories from someone?

I've some copper spikes left over, you can lend those.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Hm... I would predict that specific memories are actually tied to the cognitive realm. But that the effect of those memories on an individual's personality and capacities is tied to the spiritual realm. So... Unless you can use spikes to steal cognitive things as well as spiritual, a memory spike would be difficult. And if you can steal cognitive things via their loose ties to the spiritual, that would open up a whole new field of study. This definitely could use some experimentation with those copper spikes, yes...

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

shut up, your not smart (jk)

Sometimes I spike myself to sleep, lots of interesting dreams

@Lord_of_Awesome HAS BEEN SUCCESSFULLY SPIKED!!!

Edited September 18, 2016 by Darkness Ascendant

[Lord_of_Awesome]

Uh.... what?

Was that the cookie I ate?

[Oversleep]

This is the 1000th reply in this thread.

BTW, I failed to spike If.you.die.I.go.stupid.

[kenod]

On 9/18/2016 at 11:30 AM, Lord_of_Awesome said:

Uh.... what?

Was that the cookie I ate?

Yeah...
 Your soul belongs to us now, and a couple of Shards will probably start speaking to you in the near future. If you are unlucky, they can also start controlling you.

[DrakeMarshall he/him]

Depends on the number of spikes, and the mental stability the spikes grant. Either way, you will definitely be hearing voices in the future. Just hope they aren't any of the more unsavory shards.

[cloudjumper he/him]

But don't worry! You gain health benefits!

[marsoupial they/them]

@Voidus 

I, bleeder, as a member of the Knights In Technicolor Clothing and as the Assassin in Xanadu, officially endorse the Dark Alley.

[Darkness Ascendant he/him]

You fools!!! You've let them into the alley. I'm afraid you cannot leave now Bleeder and Lord of Awesome

[marsoupial they/them]

3 hours ago, Darkness Ascendant said:

You fools!!! You've let them into the alley. I'm afraid you cannot leave now Bleeder and Lord of Awesome

It helps when you're a Willshaper

*poofs into Shadesmar*

[Voidus]

1 minute ago, bleeder said:

It helps when you're a Willshaper

*poofs into Shadesmar*

Shadesmar seems different as soon as you enter it, the number of painspren is simply staggering, and other strange spren lurk at the corners of your vision. Within moments the alleyspren are at your back, distorting the realm itself they force you back through a nearby junction into the Alleys.

Unfortunately spikes operate on all realms, the bars of a DA prison are not limited to the physical. 

That being said, thanks for the endorsement! You're free to leave now, we throw mixers every now and then if you ever want to drop by.

The gates to Shadesmar open once more, the alleyspren herd the painspren away and allow you to proceed on your way.