What Happened in Portland

[Matrim Bloody Cauthon he/him]

"Sounds good. I could go for a nap right about now," Psy grumbled, stretching.

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

Gordon was just about to change into his pajama's when there was a knock at his door. Probably Kyle. He opened the door, and was surprised to find Sightline instead. Just great. Another problem. "What do you want?" Best to skip all pleasantries.

 

"A Doctor. Or a Healer. Anything that can fix my foot." Gordon looked down and immediately wished he hadn't. Sightline was standing on one foot and one, ankle. The rest of the foot had been cut off.

 

"I'm not certain a Doctor can help you with that. You're going to need a Healer." He looked up at his face. The blindfold made it hard to tell what he was thinking.

 

"Well, do you know any that can be trusted? And that I won't need to kill afterwards?" Right. The Epic Assassin.

 

"Talk to Hivemind, on the Island north of here. He'll fix you right up." Though the payment might be a bit steep.

 

"Right. Thank you." Could you send a messenger to Thoughtown, and tell Altermind where I'm going? He'll pay you."

 

"Yeah sure. Goodnight." Then he closed the door

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Altermind knew he needed sleep at some point, but he had learned a lot and a lot had happened in this one day. He couldn't sleep yet. He stayed up in the Planning Room, waiting for Flashpoint to report that he and Travis had made it back. "Sir, there's a messenger here at the gates. He's says Sightline sent him," he voice of one of his border guards crackled through over Altermind's mobile.

Sighing, he said, "Let him in." The teleporting Epic must've found someone to heal his foot. The messenger came into the room and Altermind gestured for him to share the message.

"Sightline says he's at the island north of the city visiting Hivemind to get his foot healed. That's all," the messenger reported. Altermind nodded and dismissed him. "Sir, I was told that you would pay me," the messenger said nervously. Inwardly, Altermind sighed again. The fool Epic had even made him pay.

"On your way out, I'll send a scribe to meet you at the gate to pay you," Altermind said. "Now leave." The messenger nodded and hurried away. Altermind sent a scribe to pay him. So, Sightline knew of the Hivemind. Altermind had never met them, but had heard rumors about the Epic that could take over others.

Flashpoint's voice came over the mobile, "Boss, we got the pictures, we're heading into HQ now."

"Don't worry about it, Flash," Altermind said. "Keep the photos with you and both of you head off to bed. We've got a long day tomorrow."

"Yes, boss. Of course."

Altermind, exhaustedly, say and continued poring over the list of resources he had made and the map of Portland. They had himself, an illusionist with telekinesis, a minor electric Epic with flying powers, a telepath, a precog, a flame Epic, a teleporter, a food Epic, a photographer, and a slightly-crazy lady who could blow up things. Enough numbers and they should be able to overwhelm CorpseMaker and his trio, but they needed to coordinate. One of his spies had reported seeing a street in a suburb destroyed by four Epics. One sounded like the transformer from. The bank and her friend. There was another who could bring dead creatures back to life, and possibly the strength Epic Voidgaze had mentioned earlier. If it came to a fight between Altermind's group of Epics and that one, he needed everyone on the same page. Those Epics were powerful enough to destroy a neighborhood and all survive the destruction. His ragtag band of lesser Epics needed to pull together.

After remembering Joshua and Mason's example, Altermind ordered one of his guards to procure him a couple throwing knives and a longer, harder dagger. It couldn't hurt to be more prepared. He sat, thinking of what to do for the next day, when he drifted off to sleep.

[Kobold King he/him]

Alice the zombie waited in the car.

 

The night grew darker and the street grew quieter. Alice didn't notice. She sat in the back of the car, waiting for a voice to tell her what to do. She sat in the back of the car, unblinking, unthinking.

 

"Good thinking Alice! Do more of that, all right?"

 

These words mattered, somehow. They were something to hang onto. Her body suffered from exhaustion, and her head was so foggy thinking felt like wading through molasses. But the man in the front seat's words rang through her mind, louder and more powerful even than the professor's. So she gave thinking a try. Thinking was like following orders, only they came from one's self. It was so strange... and yet so familiar.

 

She'd died. She knew that much. She'd died in the jaws of the family dog, dying alongside her husband and her brother. She'd moved towards a light. The light was a man. A man with glasses and a professor's coat, with a pompous voice and orders to kill her neighbors. Now that she was thinking, like the man in the front seat had encouraged, she was beginning to think there was something not quite right with those orders.

 

"Good thinking Alice! Do more of that, all right?"

 

"All right," she mumbled in a monotone. She fumbled with the door to the car, stepping out into the chill and dim street.

 

She started walking. She wasn't sure where. Just walking.

 

She had a lot to think about.

[Kobold King he/him]

Sorry for the double post, but this winded up longer than I'd expected. 

 

'Tis the start of a new day, everyone!

 

 

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Early the next morning, the sun's rays illuminated a weary Oregon. Curtains were cautiously peered out of across the city before being opened to the daylight, and the first hesitant pedestrians walked out of their homes to attend their morning activities.

 

Somewhere in southwest Portland, a usually quiet suburb was met with nervous whispers and hestitant approaches from passerby. A few of the neat, orderly homes had apparently been demolished wholesale, and the center of the street was dominated by a huge mass of rubble doused with a strange syrup and dotted with charred pieces of oak wood. A strange-looking jeep stood at one end of the street, and a flamboyant pink tank lay on its side at the other.

 

The people scratched their heads at the unusual battlefield, but ultimately knew the cause of the carnage. Undoubtedly Epics had carried out one of their turf wars here. This was normal, and proceedures for dealing with it were already arranged. Families left homeless by the disaster were quickly offered shelter from their friends and neighbors across the city, and the casulties were quietly gathered and mourned.

 

According to some accounts, a pretty young woman with red hair was found wandering aimlessly through the wreckage. Recognized as Alice Regway, she was assumed to be suffering from some form of shock, and a number of people attempted to help her. She blankly rebuffed their efforts, merely muttering "All right" in a  monotone to anyone who tried to assist her. As the crowd began to disperse, eager to leave the site before the responsible Epics returned, Alice Regway slipped from the scene and disappeared.

 

In a remarkably non-damaged house not far from the wreckage, the smell of frying spam and toasted bagels drifted from the windows, reaching the nose of a large Rottweiler that stood vacantly on the front porch. As the smell of cooked meat floated through its nose, involuntary instincts began to kick in and it let out a low whine.

 

The front door opened, revealing an immaculately dressed, middle-aged man with glasses. He was thin, and despite the neatness of his attire, he sported a touch of facial stubble and a few bagel crumbs on his face.

 

"I suppose you'll want food," speculated Lightwards. "Very well. I can supply." He snapped his fingers, and the dog trotted into the house.

 

Inside was laid out a map of Portland, a large pile of spam and bagels, and a small plastic T-rex that had inexplicably been set up beside a cup of orange juice. Lightwards absent-mindedly fed the dog a small slice of spam and continued staring at the map.

 

"I think I've absorbed all the information out of this that I can," he told the dog with a hint of weariness. He gave the trace of a smile. "This is the kind of day I've dreamed about since I was small. I used to have an imaginary friend who was a saber-toothed cat."

 

He looked thoughtfully into space. "I'm procrastinating, aren't I? But there's no need for that. It's finally time." He smiled toothily. "Time for my old imaginary friend to become very, very real."

 

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Jack the salvage man struggled to tear off a few chunks of the pink metal. This tank thing, whoever built it, was crafted entirely out of the highest-quality metal he'd seen in years. The guns alone would sell for a big buttload of money in the right parts of town.

 

He had no idea who had driven such a high-quality combat vehicle into the suburb. He had even less of an idea who had the bright idea of painting it flamboyant pink with gummy bears attatched to the sides. Finally, he neither knew nor cared to know who had trashed the thing and rolled it onto its side.

 

For Jack the salvage man, the only important thing was that it was here now, and just begging to be carried away in strips and sold at extortionist prices.

 

Standing straight for a moment, Jack the salvage man paused to wipe his brow. This was tough work; the tank was a very well-built vehicle. He took a large gulp of water out of his canteen before turning to face a vulture perched on the vehicle, staring directly into his eyes.

 

"Calamity," he yelped, taking a step back. "What the sparks are you doing?"

 

The vulture simply stared at him. Jack had never seen a vulture that was so tame. It's mannerisms were a little more vacant than he'd expected. Vacant, unthinking... yet somehow locked on him entirely.

 

"All right, you're freaking me the sparks out of me," he said edgily. Jack turned around to enter his own truck, a large one built to accomadate him and his brothers on big salvage jobs.

 

Turning around was a mistake. With a curse, he felt the vulture collide with his, claws and a beak digging into the back of his neck. He screamed for a moment before the force of the blow knocked him down. His head hit the front of the truck with a sickening crunch.

 

The last thing his barely conscious mind registered was a scholarly-looking man walking towards him with an appraising look on his face.

 

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Fortunately, Portland was not a city of heavy traffic. Lightwards' new truck met little resistance as it plowed through the streets to his destination. In the back of the exceptionally large truck, six human Warriors of Light sat patiently with an undead dog and vulture.

 

Lightwards smiled as the museum came into view. It was a large building, built around a large marble dome. It had a wide parking lot, which for some reason was almost entirely filled up with expensive sports cars armed with spikes on the front ends. Lightwards climbed out of the car, instructing his Warriors to follow him until he reached the entrance.

 

For a moment, he felt the strange feeling that he was being watched. He wearily turned his head around the surround downtown, surveying for suspicious passerby. For a moment, he thought he saw a man in purple clothes and a bowler hat standing nearby. He felt the man's gaze penetrating him. Surveying him.

 

Lightwards blinked, and the man seemed to be gone. Whether the man had vanished into thin air or simply stepped behind a wall was open to debate.

 

"Epics in the area," Lightwards warned his Warriors, gingerly prodding a metal spike mounted on a yellow Ferrari. "Be on your guard."

 

He took Tartarus and Frank Regway, the latter armed with a rifle, and approached the museum. The very center of the parking lot was dominated by the massive sculpture of a Brachiosaurus, looming over the lot and street with thought-provoking majesty. Though its bones were cast in bronze, completely useless to him, Lightwards smiled in a rare moment of child-like delight.

 

With a feeling of joy, anticipation, and a healthy dose of confidence, Lightwards swung open the museum doors and stepped inside.

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Nathan woke with his former coworkers on his mind. 

 

He wasn't sure if he had dreamed about them or not, but they were his first thoughts upon waking. Cory. Will. Silas. Reuben. Fortuity was angry at his escape, no doubt, but the question was how much of that anger had been expended on the other servers. Try as he might, he couldn't erase the image of them waking, one by one, dressed in white and strapped to that table.  

 

It's not your fault, he told himself. And it wasn't. He knew the rules: Try to escape Fortuity, and he would only kill another. It wasn't a matter of if, but of when and who. Nathan had gone without a fight, without a word of protest, to keep the others safe for a while. It wasn't a fair trade, but it was the only trade he had. 

 

But now he, and the reason for his escape, were both gone. Well out of Fortuity's reach. The only targets for his wrath were still in Newcago. 

 

It wouldn't matter if he went back. Nathan would only be added to the list of casualties, not substituted for the others on it. Yet he couldn't help feeling that it was his fault, that if he had shaken his head at Funtimes' offer, things would be different….

 

A heavy thunk shook him from his thoughts. He sat up and saw Funtimes sitting on the floor, zipping the pack open with a giggle. She tossed the pillowcase aside, rifled around—and stopped, froze in place. Her giggles fell silent. If Nathan wasn't mistaken, her smile had faded, replaced by a look of almost wistful surprise. 

 

For a long moment, she stayed that way. Her hands held the pack open. Only her hair moved, waving ever so slightly in the air from a heating vent. 

 

"Doctor? You okay?" 

 

She shook her head and looked at him with her usual smile. "Ready to make some dinosaur friends?" 

 

He wasn't ready in the slightest. "Uh, sure." 

 

"I'll make bacon donuts." 

 

"Bacon what?" 

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

Bacon donuts were surprisingly tasty. They were even better hot from the fryer. 

 

Nathan didn't ask her where she had learned to make donuts, just as he didn't ask her how she could create a sophisticated Cat-jet from an equally sophisticated Catmobile. That was just how Epics were. They did inexplicable things, and the rest of the world got out of their way. Or, when they made bacon donuts, ate them and didn't ask what had brought them into existence. 

 

He downed the last of his milk—regular, at his request—and took her hand. Funtimes turned her empty glass of chocolate milk into a breakfast burrito and handed it to him. "You only had one." 

 

"Thanks." Good though they were, the bacon donuts were too sweet for him that early in the morning. Funtimes, whose palate was evidently accustomed to it, had eaten three. "We leaving?" 

 

She giggled. When next he opened his eyes, he stood at the base of a bronze dinosaur statue, the massive metal bones still cool from the night. Dozens of sports cars filled the surrounding parking lot. Doctor Funtimes giggled. 

 

"Doctor?" 

 

"Uh-huh?" 

 

"Why do all the cars have spikes on them?" 

Edited August 9, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Voidus]

Purple Phoenix darted behind the nearest corner.
He'd been spotted, not that the Epic in the truck could have known who he was but he hated losing the element of surprise in the event that things got violent.
He still had no idea as to this Epics abilities, he seemed to have a lot of people with him, none of them were the other Epics, they all seemed relatively normal if slightly dazed in appearance, but there'd also been a dog and what almost looked like a vulture of some kind, did this Epic have some kind of affinity with animals? It made the museum make more sense, research? He'd need a closer look to find out.
Slinking out from cover Purple Phoenix ran from cover to cover, silently thanking whichever idiotic Epic had left all of these ridiculous spiked cars out the front of the museum, only Epics were ever confident enough to advertise themselves with trophies like this.
Sidling along the side wall of the museum, he climbed up a nearby dumpster to try to peer through a window to assess the situation, darned thing was full of paper, brochures and what seemed to be a printout of a wikipedia article on this museum and its contents, like most academics -former academic- he reminded himself.
Like many former academics he still held a lingering hatred of Wikipedia, irrational though it was he felt a brief urge to incinerate the piece of crumpled paper and dumpster both.
Hold up, don't go blowing something up if you're standing on it. His Voice interjected again.
"Look I already listened to your advice and came to this museum, I can't die permanently so if I want to blow it up I will!" He whispered angrily, never being entirely sure if the Voice could hear his thoughts.
Well maybe you can only reincarnate so much. His Voice mused. Maybe that's why the Epic comes to kill you every night, to weaken you!
That almost made sense, that was troubling in itself, he thought the Voice was insane, if it started making sense all the time...
​Ah, he was wasting time! He stuffed the paper into one of his pockets, pulled out a pistol in one hand, glowing pebble in the other and peered through the window.

[Edgedancer he/him]

At least the house had some decent clothes. Wonder how long they will last this time. Apart from that, nothing, well a couple grenades he pocketed but nothing really important. Now, how to spend the time until the heist. Back to plan two, I suppose.

 

Nighthound searched the area for a couple of wild animals. He got decent findings for a suburb, couple of dogs and even his own vulture, not great but it would do for a diversion. His ability had a wonderful appearance on animals, the dogs enveloped by what appeared to be a deep black fur and pair of claws that seemed as if they could rip apart a full grown man, even if they were intangible and the vulture transforming into a streak of darkness in the sky that danced with majesty of death.

Beauty.

 

He grabbed himself something out of the fridge and watched as the animals tore into one another. Thoughts about his sister crept into his mind. How long has it been? About a year. And now here he was together with a bunch of rejects. One of the dogs gave a final yowl as the vultures claws dug into its skull.

 

Nighthound stood up from his seat and walked back into the house. He picked up a cellphone and with it retuned to spectate on the fight. Does this thing still connect to Astoria? Only one way to find out. He started typing while the sounds of carnage continued in the background continued. The vulture was caught between the jaws of a dog.

 

“Jeanie, family reconcilement in Portland, Oregon.

Ps. High chance of turf war and undead dinosaurs, no I´m not kidding.

Your brother, Michael.”

 

Nighthound physically shivered as he wrote down his old name but he didn´t have much of a choice, he needed some kind of emotional connection for this to work out well. After the Epic send the massage he hurled the cellphone away, hitting one of the dogs and taking it out of the fight. No, he actually hit the last dog. When did the others die? Forcing himself to write just a few short words couldn´t have taken that long. Still, all animals were death and the sun had risen in the sky-

When was the heist supposed to start and why did no one tell him?

 

A couple of moments later he found the house Lightwards made his carters empty. Yes, he´s truly a master in the art of organization. Well then time for a little trip.

                                                                           

 

Lucentia took a morning walk through her diamond gardens, the area near the coast of Astoria that she covered in diamonds and made her own little sanctuary. The fractured light thrown out from the diamonds covered everything into a majestic aura, playing with the patches of diamond that ornamented strains of her long black hair thrown over her back.

 

As she did every morning she entered the graveyard. A Street filled with heads incased in diamonds, one side with the heads of fools that wanted to dethrone her and on the other side the heads of traitors, no matter the offense. She didn´t like to come here but she owned it to herself and to half the heads here.

 

The ringing of her cellphone ripped her out of her thoughts. Who was stupid enough to disturb her now? She didn´t recognize the number of whoever send the message. Lucentia read the message. Her brother, he had the guts to simply call on her after a whole year. She looked down to her right arm or more correctly the batch of diamonds she used to replace her right arm. Accident or not, he had a lot to answer for.

 

She tried to call the number but it was now out of function. Typical, since when did the Slontz make himself available for others. Instead she called another number, her call was accepted after only a couple of seconds.

“My lady, how may I serve you?” answered Deathgale´s voice.

 “I´m going to Portland for a... family meeting and it´s your responsibility that nothing goes wrong in my absence.” She told him

“As you wish. Shall I organize a parade for you departure or for your return to us?”

“Not for my departure, I´ll keep in contact with you about my return.” Without another word she ended the call. Portland, that city will make a wonderful jewel.

Edited August 24, 2014 by Edgedancer

[Jo and the Bush all/any]

Gordon unlocked the room and opened the door. He hadn't been using this room for anything, so now it was going to be Kyle's Quarters. "Alright, there isn't much in here but a cot and a blanket, but anything else you need I can probably find for you."

 

Kyle looked around the empty room, studying the cot and the Window, before wheeling over to open it. His legs would never heal from what Nighthound did. "Well, The room is good. Better than that Hospital you had me sleep in last night. Also, I need something to do. I've been sitting around on my bed for days now." Once the window was open, he wheeled over to the cot and straightened the blanket. "Also, a pillow and some cleaning supplies might be nice. and after that, a Garage. I need to get pack to my craft."

 

Oh good. I was hoping he'd want to keep working. "Don't worry about any of that. I'll get you some supplies, and arrange for you to get the materials needed for your Craft." Kyle just grunted. Taking that as an invitation to leave, Gordon walked down the hallway to the Janitorial Closet. He grabbed a bucket, and filled it up with soapy water. He grabbed a rag and a duster as well. He left those in the hall and continued down to the Foyer, where he snagged a pillow off one of the sofas. He brought everything to Kyle's room, and left in just outside the door, then he headed for his office.

 

When he opened the door, Sightline was sitting in his swivel chair. "Sparks, you scared me. Ahh, did Hivemind heal your foot?"

 

Sightline looked at him. He could obviously see through his blindfold. "Yes. Your payment was acceptable. The next batch will be here soon. Now, I need to get back to Altermind." He was gone instantly.

 

"Huh. It actually worked. Hivemind never heals people."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Sightline teleported into Thoughtown. Teleporting faster than he had ever done before. He made it across the city in a minute, stopping on Altermind's roof. He jumped off the roof, and teleported in through the windows, making his way through the Complex to the cafeteria. Sure enough, there was a platter of McMuffins on one of the tables. He snagged one, and continued on his way to Altermind.

[Kobold King he/him]

Lightwards threw open the museum doors, striding into the place with an air of determination. He hadn't been to a proper museum since Calamity first appeared, and he was rather excited to be back in one of the wonderful places.

 

There was of course, the typical entrance desk where a clerk would ordinarily prevent any unpaid visitors from entering the main museum. Lightwards was pleased to note that the admittance doors were already wide open... actually, they seemed to be screwed open. He warily stepped through them and strode into the main body of the museum.

 

He smiled wide as he passed the hopefully arranged gift shop signs and took in the first major museum attractions. Visitors, of course, were always dazzled with particularly large exhibits set up near the entrance, promising grander wonders deeper within. The Field Museum in Chicago--or rather, Newcago--displayed Sue the T-rex at the earliest possible point in the museum.

 

Here in the Portland museum, the first sight to meet his eyes was a massive taxidermied elephant standing proud in the middle of the hall, its trunk dramatically raised towards the ceiling. High above the elephant were mounted skeletons of pterodactyls, which Lightwards immediately recognized as Quetzalcoatylus, Pteranodon, and Tapejara. The jaws of Megalodon, the enormous fossil shark, were contained within a clear glass case with a finely written plaque describing the piece. Already he was impressed by the museum's diversity--it was surprising that an average-seeming museum in downtown Portland would have so many unique species on display.

 

His head jerkily turned away from the exhibits as the faint sound of footsteps echoed from further in the museum. "Doctor Funtimes?" Lightwards called somewhat edgily. "Nighthound?" There was no response. He shrugged and continued his observations. After all, he could easily have imagined the noise, and it wasn't as if he'd seen anything.

 

Besides, there were far more interesting things to look at. He had an extensive experience with museums in general, and something was slightly off about this one. The exhibits were crammed together as if there were a shortage of space. But surely a museum with the funds to afford such rare fossils could afford a bigger building, or perhaps an exension--

 

Then his mind began to take notice of several things at once. He recognized one of the Pteranodon mounts from when he was a graduate student. The skeleton had been on display in New York, and he recognized it from the distinct posture it was mounted in and the fact that one of the vertebrae had been misplaced (a younger Thomas Cardinal had nearly been thrown out of the museum for accosting a museum employee concerning the mistake.)

 

As he stepped to the side of the stuffed elephant, it came to his attention that he'd been remarkably unobservant in several other fields. The left side of the elephant was emblazoned with a large, spray-painted target sign with throwing knives stabbing around a central bull's eye. A literal bull's eye.

 

Stepping aside from the work of vandalism, he began to notice peculiar wall art. Instead of fine tapestries, or plaques describing extinct or extant species, posters of NASCAR races and other sporting events lined the sides of the museum.

 

Calamity, Lightwards cursed inwardly. Someone else had gotten here first. His first thought was that Funtimes had caused the re-decorations, but that simply didn't ring true. From his brief period of experience with her, she seemed more likely to put a party hat or a sombrero on a stuffed elephant than a target and knives. In all likelihood the wall would be less NASCAR and more "My Little Pony."

 

Then he saw it. Hanging above the main entrance was a huge banner that rippled in the faint draft. A large, flaming font proclaimed a message to all visitors.

 

"Mr. Headshot, Mr. Blindside, Mr. Quickslide, and Ms. Hotwire are proud to operate and present--"

 

"THE PORTLAND MUSEUM OF NATURAL AWESOMENESS"

 

 

Lightwards stared up at the banner for what seemed to be several minutes. "Sparks," he said finally.

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Blindside entered the quartet's impromptu mess hall and uncloaked himself. Headshot choked on a piece of barbecue and reflexively reached for his pistol, glaring when he saw his ally grinning at him from the doorway.

 

"Quit doing that, man," the bigger Epic growled menacingly. "No roaming the museum while you're invisible."

 

"I didn't have a choice," Blindside explained cheekily. "We have patrons."

 

Quickslide looked up from the pre-Calamity comic book he was flipping through and eyed his fellow Epic with a raised eyebrow. "Someone came in? I thought the neighbors knew to stay away by now."

 

"At least two of them are Epics," Blindside said, drawing himself a chair. "There's an extremely cocky looking professor type admiring our target elephant, and there's a purple schizophreniac whispering to himself on the dumpster outside."

 

Quickslide listened attentively while Headshot continued chewing on his barbecue. Blindside continued. "The professor's got a dog and some guy with a rifle with him."

 

"Did you notice any powers?" Quickslide asked curiously.

 

Blindside thought for a moment. "I didn't see the professor do anything Epic-like, but the purple guy had a glowing pebble or something. Probably an energy Epic."

 

Headshot wiped his hands on the tablecloth and stood up from his chair. "Don't touch the barbecue, guys. I'm gonna go get Hotwire. I'd rather the four of us take on these clowns then get picked off one by one."

 

"Clever man, you," Blindside said, nonchalantly taking a bite from Headshot's barbecue.

 

Headshot pretended he didn't notice and left the mess hall. He walked down a carpeted hall with walls lined with luxury sports car posters, reaching an office that once belonged to the museum curator.

 

"Come on out, Hotwire," he said through the door, knocking loudly. "The museum's got guests."

 

After a moment, the door swung open to reveal a scowling young woman. She was wearing a tank top and shorts that clashed horribly with the Indian headdress she insisted on wearing everywhere.

 

"Took them long enough," she grunted. "We've been waiting ages for Altermind or CorpseMaker to stop by. I was beginning to think we awesomeized this museum just for the four of us."

 

Ignoring the fact that 'awesomeized' wasn't a real word, Headshot interrupted. "Don't think it's either of those two. Blindside's descriptions didn't sound like anyone we know about."

 

"Hmm." Hotwire threw on a pair of sneakers and pocketed a key chain decorated with a number of dinosaur teeth. The keys were just as decorative as the velociraptor teeth--Hotwire had far more direct ways of dealing with cars.

 

She smiled at her associate. "Let's go get to know them."

[Matrim Bloody Cauthon he/him]

Joshua rolled out of bed feeling more rested than he had in a long time. It had been a long, hard journey to get here. But he knew it would be worth it in the end. He knew somewhere in the the city was an epic that he had been following for a long time, and some day soon he would get revenge onthe man who took his little brother from him.

Joshua walked down to the kitchen to snatch a mcmuffin. As he sat there eating he tried to plan out his day. After he finished he sat there for a while until Sightline entered to grab a mcmuffin. Slowly Psy-fi dragged himself to his feet and made his way to find Altermind.

[Edgedancer he/him]

This morning was the start of Corpsemaker´s control of the city. He was out of the wall, out of that bouncy castle, out of those ridiculous clothes and soon he would be in his armory. After spending the night in a secondary hideout, comfortable enough to one night and secluded enough to store the money there until he had taken the armory but not remotely sufficient to keep as his base of operations.

 

Followed by his two minions, Electro and Scorch, he neared the armory. As he came closer two Epics entered his view. One had positioned himself on the roof behind some kind of makeshift cover and held brightly shining energy in his hand, the other flied towards him with a megaphone in hand. “The three of you are entering the area of the black powder gang. Leave now or regret it,” said the fly.

 

Corpsemaker was no longer in the mood for games. They threatened him, he made them corpses. Without breaking his stride he negated the flying Epic´s power, sending him plummeting to his death and fixated the other with his eyes.

 

The Epic on the roof fired an energy beam at Corpsemaker and shortly afterwards slumped to the ground, death. Ignoring the energy beam that hit him in the troth he picked up the megaphone from the first corpse. It strengthened his already booming voice.

“I am Corpsemaker! And you are in my armory! Those of you that are fortunate enough to hear this get the chance to surrender and work for me with a paycheck much more generous than any of you deserve, the rest dies. You have time to think about my offer until one of us finds you!”

 

He signaled towards the armory. “You two go and earn your salary.” He addressed his servants without turning towards them.

                                                                               

 

Headshot took position within a giant dinosaur skull that hung from the ceiling. Given that they had two targets they decided to attack in teams of two. Quickslide already moved in position, while he notified Hotwire, and would turn the ground into a slippery mess, as soon as he heard the gunshots. Hotwire readied his assault rifle and waited for his victims. He saw them soon enough, seven humans, although only one of them seemed like an actual person the rest appeared… dumb, and two animals. Four bullets for each of them fired out of his rifles muzzle and straight for their designated heads.

                                                   

 

Blindside waited on one of Hotwires “awesomeized” cars, invisible and knives drawn. The schizophrenic would come closer sooner or later. Hopefully sooner, he wanted something to stab. Instead of the man he waited for two colorful dressed individuals appeared right next to him, a man and a woman, two targets to cut up. It seems that Hotwire had the same thought as two car lunged at the couple, one from each side. Where did that whacko take position? Doesn´t matter, Blindside did as the cars did and also lunged towards them, he wanted to stab the woman first.

[Voidus]

The unknown Epic had walked out of sight after examining some of the closer exhibits, there seemed to be a great many for such a small museum, perhaps this was the unknown Epics base and he was a collector? But then why had he stayed elsewhere? No perhaps a raid on another Epics territories, that would explain those cars out the front but not why there were no signs of attack yet, most were far more vigilant with their base than this.

So either these Epics were particularly lazy, in which case they shouldn't have survived this long, they were allied with the unknown Epic which seemed unlikely or else they weren't particularly flashy or offensive abilities and they were laying a trap somewhere, which meant it was time to pick a side of this inevitable conflict, did he rush in and warn the unknown, help him? Or did he stay back and help the ambushers?

Well if they feel the need to lay an ambush they can't be particularly powerful, and he'd seen the aftermath of that street after this Epics coalition had finished their fight last night, including some oddities he simply couldn't explain. He'd better help the Unknown and his group.

Just as we jumped off the dumpster he heard the rev of engines starting up, of course! The cars weren't just signs of the Epics presence, one of them must be a technopath of some sort, to react this quickly they must have some kind of a sentry too, either someone with x-ray vision or invisibility to avoid being spotted, worst case scenario that meant a full fledged illusionist, Calamity but they were annoying to fight.

He grabbed a handful of pebbles from one of his pockets, readied his pistol and bolted around the corner just as the spiked cars jumped completely to life, aiming, not for the doors of the museum where the other Epic had gone but towards a bronzed statue where what were quite possibly the most bizzarely dressed couple he had ever seen had appeared. As the two began speaking he recognized their voices from the night previous, they were part of that Epics group.

I never did manage to find them last night. His voice chirped in. Probably either an illusionist or teleporter among them, the other's either that strength epic who tore some people to pieces, that we've heard about although neither matches the description or else the strangest of the bunch, the matter manipulator who created that bizarre scene.

Purple Phoenix still wasn't sure if he could trust the voice, how could it try to find anyone? It was just a disembodied voice wasn't it? But given that it had seemed relatively sane today he decided to trust it's judgement, trusting that a teleporter and a matter manipulator shouldn't have too much trouble with runaway cars he sprinted towards the museum doorway, throwing one of his pebbles ahead and blowing a crater in the ground, to scare off any illusionist or invisible Epics nearby.
 

Edited August 10, 2014 by Voidus

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Scorch followed CorpseMaker to the armory with no small degree of trepidation. The Commander and Jetstream weren't some minor Epics who had gotten lucky. His side ached almost reflexively at the thought of being lifted, carried, spun and tossed like a wadded up piece of paper--

One glance from CorpseMaker and Jetstream fell to the ground.

Scorch grinned at his orders. "No problem, boss."

-----------------------------

No sooner had Nathan posed the question than he had his answer. A sports car, covered from bumper to bumper with spikes, roared to life and charged. No driver. No warning. Just a spiky car moving toward them like it had a will of its own.

Funtimes snapped her fingers, but the car did not change. "What--"

He squeezed her hand, and they were at the museum entrance.

"--was that?"

"I think it was the first," he said, pointing. A sedan, similarly armored, charged the door.

[Kobold King he/him]

Lightwards turned a slow circle as he took in the museum and weighed his options. Clearly a group of Epics had taken up residence here. Not just Epics--insane Epics that existed in a state of permanent self-satisfaction. There was no mistaking the attitude inherent in the banner's handwriting. The strange decorations, the stolen displays, and the name "Portland Museum of Natural Awesomeness" bespoke a group of Epics that were not only confident in their ability to take on any challengers, but actually seemed to be looking forward to it. The banner and the stolen displays were their equivalent of a chimpanzee showing its fangs.

 

He spun in a panic as the first gunshots rang out. Frank Regway had his rifle pointed into the air, firing off several shots. Or more accurately, he had his rifle pointed at the head of a massive pliosaur skeleton hung from the ceiling. There was a burly man with an assault rifle comfortably perched on the marine reptile's skull as he let fly a rapid succession of bullets.

 

Lightwards ducked behind the stuffed elephant's leg with barely a second to lose. The sound of a large-caliber bullet whizzing by his head rang in his ears as he dived for cover. His feet slipped as his legs moved with such speed, and he found himself sliding across the tiled floor as if it were ice. Before he could slow down, he collided face-first with one of the mounted elephant's back legs.

 

He opened his eyes as quickly as he could, fighting a headache that threatened to make him pass out. Frank Regway and Tartarus were lying dead on the ground, gaping round bullet holes between their eyes. A little distance away, one of the older Ronson-Clarkes had been killed with a similarly improbable shot.

 

The bullets shouldn't have hit so precise from way up there on the pliosaur skeleton, Lightwards thought in confusion. A grim realization suddenly hit him: "Mr. Headshot."

 

From atop the marine reptile skeleton, Headshot let fly several other shots, quickly bringing down each and every one of the Warriors of Light, who had each slipped onto their backsides as the floor became slick. Simon Regway's pistol hit the ground and started zipping across the floor, colliding with walls and ricocheting in all directions like a billiard ball.

 

Mr. Quickslide, Lightwards thought with rising panic. Two Epics against one. This was completely unfair. Lightwards had trouble even in one-on-one confrontations with others of his kind.

 

Frank the zombie's rifle had slid across the floor until it hit one of the elephant's other legs. Lightwards frantically grabbed at it, but one of Headshot's bullets deflected the weapon to the far side of the room.

 

I'm going to die, he realized. Again.

 

A man wearing a Batman T-shirt and blue jeans began to walk across the museum floor, his boots remaining solid in their steps despite the apparent lack of friction. He peered around the stuffed elephant and smirked as he saw Lightwards struggling to right himself.

 

"I hope you enjoyed your visit," Quickslide informed the professor, who was now clutching at wrinkled elephant skin in an effort to remain upright.

 

Lightwards faced the man with all the dignity he could muster--which was not much, with his legs crossed and his hands clutching at a dead elephant for support. "My name is Lightwards," he shot at the man angrily. "The dead you have here are mine. I claim them as my own. I will do as I please with them, and I'm not going to let your ridiculous little group stand in my way."

 

Quickslide raised an eyebrow, leveling a very large Magnum pistol at the necromancer's face. "I hope you'll pardon the expression, sir, but you don't really have a leg to stand on when making any threats."

 

Fingers squeezed the dry, leather elephant skin tightly. Lightwards smiled as he pointedly didn't think through his next action. Instead, he closed his eyes and surged his miracle into the dead leg.

 

There was a crash as metal framework and stuffing inside the elephant were forcibly ejected through the frictionless room. Knives dropped out of its thick hide, falling to the slick floor with a clatter. The tremendous bulk of the animal's body shook itself, and newly regrown muscles spread ripples throughout the spraypainted target sign. The magnificent African elephant, its newly revitalized body standing over the two Epics, took a few dazed steps as its large eyes blinked in confusion. A pair of shouts reached its enormous ears, one a cry of alarm and shock and the other a triumphant command of "Kill him!"

 

The elephant's thick trunk wrapped around the thin Epic's waist, raising him into the air. Quickslide fired a few wild shots into the animal, but the bullets were too small to do any real damage. He let out a furious scream as the animal pitched him across the room, causing him to collide with a wall and slide back down with a muffled thud.

 

Lightwards let out a loud laugh, abruptly cut of as the elephant took a few hesitant steps. Quickslide was evidently still alive, as the floor was still as slick as ice. The elephant's legs slid and scratched at the floor, its back legs kicking backwards as it tried to keep its footing.

 

The kicking back legs caught Lightwards in the chest. The wind was knocked out of him as he flew backwards, the frictionless floor unable to stop him. He glided across the tiled ground, bursting through doors and into the gift shop.

 

Lights danced before his eyes before the whole world faded into darkness. Lightwards drifted into unconsciousness, laying atop a pile of shattered snowglobes with a fractured rib throbbing in his torso.

Edited August 10, 2014 by Kobold King

[Edgedancer he/him]

The woman blinked away just before his knife sank into her flesh. Oh come on. It was just about to get to the fun part!

 

The museum´s entry exploded.

 

Blindside whirled around to it. In the settling dust laid two bodies, the teleporting couple? Hotwire´s cars were already moving in on them. Sparks, but it didn´t seem that he wouldn´t get his chance to stab someone. Back to keeping guard for the first one.

 

In fact there he was already, standing a bit perplexed in the parking lot. Seems like he just blew up the other intruders by accident. A cheer for team coordination. Leaving the other two for Hotwire Blindside, who was still invisible, made for the homeless looking Epic; honestly he was the ugliest Epic he had ever seen but hey, he helped them, even if by accident, so he deserved a thank you. And what would make for a better present than his favorite object, a knife, right into the eye socket.

                                                              

 

Calamity, did that elephant just come back to life? Must be, because it threw Quickslide across the room. Headshot watched Quickslide, as he touched different objects and lastly the wall, each time losing a bit of his momentum. Knowing the crafty slontz he screwed with his friction to the point where each contact had enough impact to slow him but not enough to rip him apart.

 

His attention snapped back into place, as he heard the elephant crash into the floor. Right, still as slippery as ice. With its fall it send the professor sliding across the room. Quickly, before he left his vision, he emptied his remaining bullets into the guy and prepared to change his position, no way he was going to stay in a skeleton with a necromancer around. As he left his vantage-point he saw Quickslide making his way towards the gift shop the Professor landed in.

 

Now where did they keep that turret again?

Edited August 10, 2014 by Edgedancer

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

A cloud of purple enveloped the entrance as the force of the explosion knocked Nathan sideways. He felt Funtimes' hand on his, thought they moved but couldn't be sure....

He pushed himself up later--he didn't know how long, but the settling dust told him it hadn't been more than a minute. Through the ringing in his ears, he could barely hear his own coughing--and Funtimes' giggle.

They were firmly inside the museum now. Either the explosion was especially powerful, or she had teleported them from the center of the explosion. He ached all over, but nothing seemed to be broken, so he suspected the latter.

Somewhere nearby was a muted crash, and the braying of an elephant. Nathan coughed as Funtimes grabbed his arm. Her giggle was close, so he heard it loud and clear--almost as clearly as the roar of an engine growing louder--

Another jump, and they were behind the charging sedan. It crashed into two skeletons placed very close together, slammed into reverse, and moved toward them. Another jump carried them further into the museum somewhere near the entrance Nathan thought he spotted a homeless man.

Something cold bumped his arm. Not asking what it was, he took a sip. The water tasted like strawberries.

Funtimes giggled, took a sip herself, and tossed the bottle at the vehicle struggling to orient itself. Flavored water spilled on the hood, melting metal and glass as it did. She clapped her hands, but quickly clapped them against her cheeks in horror. 

 

He and Funtimes had landed in one of two rooms on the right-hand side of the entryway. On the left-hand side was a glass-walled gift shop; on the other side of their wall was another room. As the strange acid ate away at the car's engine, the muted braying sounded once more. Lightwards flew out of the adjacent room, slid across the floor, and landed in the gift shop. 

 

Nathan took her arm. Instead of taking him directly to the gift shop, she landed on the opposite side of the wrecked sedan. His feet immediately slipped, and he grasped the car for balance. 

 

Her giggle was louder this time. The effects of the explosion must have been wearing off. 

 

She held up a pair of ice skates. 

 

Nathan hadn't been ice skating since the Snow Queen had turned the entire casino's floor to ice, but he had found that his pre-Calamity days of ice skating with his family had not left his memory. With any luck, that hadn't changed. He nodded. 

 

Rather than handing him a pair, she snapped her fingers, adding a pair of blades to the soles of his Converse. Then, hand in hand, they skated across the frictionless hall, through the broken doors of the gift shop as the chatter of gunfire reached his ears. A volley of bullets headed for an unconscious Lightwards.

 

It was bullets that headed for him, but what reached him was a cascade of Skittles.

 

Funtimes giggled.   

Edited August 10, 2014 by TwiLyghtSansSparkles

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Altermind awoke still sitting at the table in the Planning Room. Good thing he had put comfortable chairs in here. His neck had an ache in the side from laying on the table. Stretching, he remembered the events of the day before. New Epics, some dangerous, others less so. Some working with him, others against.

His illusion of himself still immaculate as always, not ruffled at all from the sleep on the hard table, Altermind sent a guard to gather his associates and to have them meet in the room.

When they all showed up, Altermind had Travis begin by laying out his images of Corpsemaker. "This is the man we're fighting," Altermind said. He always kills any rival Epics. Aside from yesterday, I know of no one who bested him."

Sightline spoke up, "Last week, I trapped Corpsemaker in a wall. The insane lady broke him out when she made it into a bouncy castle, but Corpsemaker has invincibility powers. Stuck halfway in a wall for a week, he survived. We need to figure out his weakness before we can kill him."

This teleporter's fighting skills are better than I thought they'd be. Impressive. Altermind thought silently. Remembering that Mason could read his thoughts, he realized he'd have to be more careful.

-------------------

At Corpsemaker's command, Electro burst into action. Being paid to destroy things and kill people? What better job could there be? Guards rushed out of the armory at Corpsemaker's announcement. Electro charged forward and set about Scrambling soldiers. One by one, he used his electricity to sever their helmets and its contents from the rest of their body. Bullets began shooting towards him. Turning his electric field into a repelling electromagnet, they curved away from him harmlessly.

When Jetstream fell from Corpsemaker's stare, the guards began fearing even more. The Commander had seen his wife's death and made it a point not to look at Corpsemaker. Electro wanted to kill the Commander himself. It could gain him points in Corpsemaker's view. He surged towards the strong Epic and cut down soldiers in his way. Knives were drawn by a few of the more elite guards, but Electro cut their hands off before they were close to him. The Commander was just a little ways ahead of him now. There was just a short distance before the leader of these troops would be dead.

[Voidus]

Just as his pebble stuck the ground in its traditional flash of purple energy, Purple Phoenix saw the strangely dressed couple appear right in front of it, "Calamity! One of them is definitely a teleporter and now I've accidentally incinerated them!" he hissed in the brief moment before a haze of purple obscured the area.As the smoke from the explosion cleared he could have sworn he heard some giggling behind him.

Invisibility Epic, be careful. His Voice advised him.

What was strange was that there were no corpses in the debris, perhaps they'd managed to teleport out? Well he'd have to try to deal with this Epic before he could find out, if he had even the slightest knowledge of where the Epic was he'd be stupid to turn his back and risk getting stabbed or shot.
"Ugh, I hate dealing with illusionists, never can be sure if you're seeing what they want you to see even if it seems like you're winning."
Look, I know it might take too long but you need to use some of the sand. His voice piped up.

The sand? But he hadn't charged that yet! It'd need at least 30 seconds of concentration before it was primed to explode. While it gave off a lower intensity blast than the pebbles did the sand covered a much wider area, perfect for knocking out an invisible Epic, if only it didn't take so long to prepare.

Well just start running in random directions until it's done, if he shoots at you they should be reflected by the shield and he needs to catch you to do anything at close quarters.

Taking the Voices advice he took off at a sprint, his well toned body taking sharp turns around the plaza trying to keep away from and confuse his assailant as his gloved hand began to glow with the handful of sand inside it.
He just needed to hold off for another 30 seconds.

Edited August 11, 2014 by Voidus

[Edgedancer he/him]

Up to this point the raid was an success, the other two delivered good work, then again there enemies were mostly vanillas. Corpsemaker himself simply walked through the carnage sometimes dropping annoyances that came to close to him.

 

He saw Electro surging out of the masses and heading towards the Commander, Corpsemaker´s power didn´t seem to work on him. Said Commander attempted to defend by using some big lump of metal, he couldn´t make out exactly what it was from the distance. What he could do was leveling the super strength needed to lift such a gigantic piece of metals, pinning the enemy leader under it.

                                                                   

 

Those two Slontzes had disappeared again, that ain´t awesome.  Hotwire shot a couple of cars into the museum, pulling the breaks; she gave the cars an awesome spin before they entered the frictionless surface. She moved back into the building to get the cars back into her sight.

                                                                   

 

Quickslide saw the two more intruders skating over the ground towards the gift shop. He increased the friction under their feet, making their slides snare on the ground.

In that moment half a dozen cars bursted through the entry, some of them catching on the area that had normal friction, sending them flying instead of spinning.

Ignoring the metal madness Quickslide continued towards the gift shop.

[Mailliw73 he/him]

Electro saw Commander lift a huge metal object. Suddenly, it came crashing down on him. Corpsemaker must've nullified his strength. Sparks, I wanted to kill him, Electro thought. He saw, as he drew nearer, that Commander wasn't yet dead. Smashed under the metal, he was squirming and trying to wiggle out. Invulnerability must be another power. Will electricity cut him? Electro used his Power Cutter and tried to sever Commander's arm from his torso. It didn't work. He'd need CorpseMaker to nullify that power before they could kill him.

[Edgedancer he/him]

Voidgaze began to trash around as she woke up. By the time she was half way awake she also half way rolled out of her bed. While she dragged herself out of her bed completely a thought entered her mind, hungry.

 

After she put on her cloak she made way to the cafeteria, still suffering from severe bed hair. Instead of simply sitting down on one of the tables she entered the kitchen proper. Making breakfast herself helped her to wake up. Sorry, big Al I´m not in the mood for fast-food right now.

 

Alright, time to show off. Granted, one could argue that she herself didn´t do as much work as her cloak did but it was nonetheless enough to make the staff watch slightly amazed. Her tassels picked up the ingredients and mixed them in a big bowl, flour, milk, water, salt, sugar, eggs. The eggs were extra breathtaking for the audience because Voidgaze simply made the shell disappear instead of cracking it; a confident smile crept on her lips. Meanwhile her sleeves set up the pans.

   

The door of the planning room was thrown open and Voidgaze cheerfully entered through it, her tassels holding multiple trays of pancakes and the white cat sitting on her head. “Who of you wants pancakes for breakfast?”

[TwiLyghtSansSparkles she/her]

Nathan almost didn't see the cars coming until the first one leaped into the air. At the same time, his skates snagged on the no-longer-smooth floor. Only a frantic grab at a display of shark tooth necklaces kept him from falling. As his skates scrambled for purchase, they changed back to shoes. The display stand tipped over, scattering necklaces across the tile.

"Stupidhead!" Funtimes cried as the first car sped toward the gift shop. As it reached the glass, her outstretched hand turned the wall to stone. Displays vanished as they were repurposed to fortify the wall. Metal ground and creaked as vehicle after vehicle hit the wall, or those that had already struck.

An Epic was approaching from the other side of the gift shop, the side that was still glass. Nathan glanced from Funtimes to Lightwards, considering his options. Funtimes could handle herself; between the clothes the Epic wore and the baubles in the gift shop, she had enough matter at her fingertips to hold the fort for some time. Lightwards was still unconscious, but he could wake at any time. Nathan had seen the way the necromancer' looked at him, as though trying to size him up and figure him out all at once. Maybe it was that, or his years at the casino, or some combination of the two, that gave Nathan the feeling that he would be blamed for any death he suffered.

But he couldn't teleport without Funtimes, and she had her hands full.

"Sorry," he told the hopefully unconscious necromancer, "but taking your molecules apart isn't a good idea right now."

Then he did the only thing he could: He lifted a heavy wooden walking stick, held it like a baseball bat, and waited for the Epics to come to him.

[Voidus]

It was only by the slight sound of the footsteps in front of him that Purple Phoenix managed to dive to the side in time to avoid getting a knife to the eye, as it was it scored a line along his cheek, then his shin connected with the invisible Epic and rolled several times before leaping back up.
"Gotta keep moving, gotta keep moving" he muttered, sprinting along the ground, leaping the hoods of the remaining cars, thankfully the active ones all seemed to have followed that group inside.

Keep your fist clenched tight. His voice warned, You don't want any of that to fall and blow your kneecaps off.

It was times like this that Purple Phoenix wished he had a better defensive ability, deflecting bullets could be useful but healing would be a lot better.

Well sorry that I couldn't replicate mysterious and nearly divine abilities to your satisfaction, sorry I only managed two. His voice snapped in an irritated manner.
"What on earth are you talking about?" he hissed, wondering for a moment if perhaps his Voice was actually the Voice of Calamity itself.
This is why I don't tell you things, it just makes you even crazier than you already are. The Voice said back.
Then again perhaps he was right the first time and the Voice was just insane. His attention was brought back to the present again as that knife scored another hit across his thigh as he leaped one of the cars, landing awkwardly.

"Ok, this is no time to be arguing, need to concentrate."
He quickly reached into one of his pockets with his free hand and threw a pebble behind him towards where he'd last been hit, incinerating the front half of the car but obviously the Epic had already moved on. only 15 more seconds.
You're really lucky that these things don't put off enough heat to light that fuel tank, you would have roasted yourself.
"If it'd get you to shut up it might be worth dying again."
You might not resurrect again though, remember the Epic who attacks at night?
"Might still be worth it if you ever stop being useful"
Well I'll try to keep you alive then, left!
He jumped to the side again missing the knife, not even entirely sure how his Voice could tell where the Epic was.
I'm listening for him, you're worrying about the insane voices in your head, I wonder why I'm more likely to detect him. It said sarcastically.
By the way, the sands done.
"Perfect" he said back, stopping suddenly and throwing the sand in as wide an arc as he could up into the air, he immediately dropped to the floor and detonated it.

The air around exploded in a purple haze erupting with the sound of a thousand tiny explosions, he heard a dull thunk and hoped against hope that the blast had thrown the Epic into one of those spiked cars.

[Kobold King he/him]

Quickslide growled as he limped his way towards the gift shop. Miraculously, that sparking elephant hadn't seemed to do any permanent damage when it threw him across the room. His back ached rather a lot, and one of his legs made him wince whenever he took a step. At least it wasn't broken. And whatever injuries he sported himself, they were nothing compared to what he'd do to these intruders.

 

The rainbow lady and her boyfriend were standing just within the gift shop. The woman raised her hand, and most of the glass walls shifted into solid stone boundaries. The man picked up a heavy staff and raised it like a club, as if he were planning on fighting him with it. Quickslide sneered as he let his feet slide to a stop next to one of Hotwire's totaled cars. It would supply cover--not that he was likely to need it, facing these morons. He raised his Magnum from behind the vehicle and kept its sights firmly facing the ridiculous woman's center mass. He squeezed the trigger...

 

A deafening roar filled his ears and his shot went wild. He spun on a dime to pinpoint the problem. It did not take long; the elephant from before was on its feet again, thundering towards him. With a quiet curse he increased the friction across the museum floor, causing the animal to stumble in its charge. Stumble, but not trip entirely. It carried on with a wildly determined gait, spraypainted target sign flashing as it turned to ram Quickslide.

 

The Epic tried firing several shots into the animal's face, but they might as well have been peanuts for all the stopping power they had. With a cry of alarm, Quickslide lowered the friction beneath his feet, sliding backwards as quickly as he could as the elephant tossed Hotwire's wreckage aside. He frantically dodged several swings from an enraged trunk. Enhancing friction did nothing to slow the animal's colossal momentum, and increasing it only made the sparking thing faster.

 

"Headshot!" He shouted at the top of his lungs, leaping over a trunk swipe. "Get your butt back here--"

 

The side of a tusk collided with his chest, sending the scrawny Epic sprawling across the floor and into a glass display case.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

Lightwards let out a low groan as the world reappeared around him. Destroyed snowglobes were laying all around him, and his chest felt like it had been kicked by an elephant. To top off his condition, colors danced before his eyes. Possibly hallucinations brought on by the pain.

 

Oh wait. It was just Doctor Funtimes.

 

"You're late," Lightwards moaned irritably, ignoring the fact that he hadn't supplied them with a time. He tried to get onto his feet, but the pain in his chest blazed unbearably. He half-walked, half-collapsed into a dinosaur decorated beanbag as he tried to see behind Funtimes and Traveler.

 

He got a brief impression of his elephantine Warrior slamming Quickslide with a tusk, sending the nasty little man flying out of view. Lightwards started to chuckle, but cut off at the pain in his side.

 

"Doctor," he said weakly between painful breaths. "I hope you're not too busy at the moment? I could use some ibuprofen."