Dilemma: How to feed a Returned?

[Trusk'our]

Here's a hypothetical scenario: you're a Returned who is Cosmere aware, but has been kicked off of Nalthis. Permanently. How do you find Investiture to feed off of?

And yes, Stormlight from Roshar is the easiest way, so let's say that you also somehow managed to get kicked off of Roshar by Cultivation as well.

Does anyone have any ideas as to how they could obtain other sources of Investiture to feed off of?

Here's a few of mine:

1. Go to Scadrial, learn about Hemalurgy and drop all your morals (or become a vigilante and only become morally grey- another word for dropping all your morals ). Proceed to Hemalurgically spike someone, then feed off the Investiture as it seeps out of the spike. Basically become a Cosmere vampire.

2. Go to Scadrial and convince the Malwish you are the Sovreign and get them to create Nicrosilmind Medallions to feed you as you please.

3. Go to Sel- don't get vaporized by the cognitive plasma-storm along the way- and find a Forger to rewrite your past to say you never died. Then consume the Investiture from the Forgery. Reapply Forgery as needed.

4. Go to Sel, find Elantris, beg a bit of AonDor from a charitable Elantrian and become their servant for the next two hundred years as they sustain you.

5. Go to Taldain...realize that all you need to do is sunbathe on Dayside. If that doesn't work, eat White Sand and hope for the best.

[alder24]

8 minutes ago, Trusk'our said:

Here's a hypothetical scenario: you're a Returned who is Cosmere aware, but has been kicked off of Nalthis. Permanently. How do you find Investiture to feed off of?

And yes, Stormlight from Roshar is the easiest way, so let's say that you also somehow managed to get kicked off of Roshar by Cultivation as well.

Colors, was I a bad boy?

9 minutes ago, Trusk'our said:

Does anyone have any ideas as to how they could obtain other sources of Investiture to feed off of?

1. There is a very big, unprotected pipeline running from Sel to Scadrial, so just drill a little hole in it, put a tap in there and take a glass of Dor whenever you want. Don't get caught.
2. Move to Taldain and praise the Sun.
3. Hemalurgy, either steal Feruchemy, and feed on stored attributes, or steal Allomancy, and burn metals. 
4. Medallions.
5. Move to Scadrial. Mists are often everywhere. So just trap them in a jar and do what Vasher is doing on Roshar.
6. Become an Aetherbound.
7. Find any perpendicularity and just take a sip every week  Nobody will notice.
8. I wonder what would happen if I became a Dawnshard. Would I slowly consume it or would Dawnshard self protect and I would have a very bad time trying to feed on it? Or would I just consume my Returned Breath and drop the Dawnshard? Would I even still be Returned and require feeding?
9. Became rich and pay people to bring you Breaths from Nalthis.
10. Move to Sel, every week cut yourself, or pretend to be ill and go ask Elantrians for a general healing.

The tricky thing about using Allomancy/Feruchemy to feed your Divine Breath is that the "feeding" takes place every 7 days and is an instant event, so you would need to provide access to that amount of investiture at once when the "feeding" time comes, as tapping metalmind for a week won't feed your Divine Breath. Unless there is a way to overwrite that and feed investiture into Divine Breath when you want. Maybe Vasher does it, because how he feeds during Weeping? 

[cometaryorbit]

Taldain Dayside sun is probably the best bet (least dependent on others or limited resources) if it has enough density to work.