The useless powers thread

[EmulatonStromenkiin he/him]

What is the most useless epic power you can think of? Here are a few:

1. burping in Russian

2. lighting matches on polyester

3. turning bellybutton from an innie to an outie, and back again.

[That1Cellist he/him]

1. The power to kill a single epic at will. That epic is yourself

2. Having any power but your weakness is using your power

3. The ability to teleport, but only the distance of a single step you can take, and to everyone else it just looks like you walked. You also cannot move through solids

4. The ability to read and speak any language, but not understand it

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

1. The ability to have unlimited bowls of any peanut butter cereal. But you’re allergic. 
2. The power to change the taste of chicken into the taste of grapes.

3. The power to hypnotize chickens… but you can’t make them do anything but sleep, and they’re really too stupid to accomplish anything anyway. DONT ERASE THE LINE. 
4. The ability to see your siblings through walls when they’re asleep

[YeomanoftheBowman he/him]

1. The power of positive thinking.

2. The ability to always get a "C+" on any test. 

3. The ability to make grass grow slightly faster. 

4. The ability to not go crazy when you use your powers, but that's your power. 

[SandersonFanderson she/her]

1. The ability to make any item a slightly lighter shade than the color it already is

2. You have illusion powers but only the ability to make people see a single can of Sprite in front of them

3. The power to summon blueberries. You can only summon one at a time, and you hate blueberries

[Silver Phantom he/him]

The ability to win a coin flip 51% of the time

 

[Aeoryi she/her]

I still have leftover ideas from the Reckoner's rpg

1. The ability to consciously ressurect. (think about that one...)

2. The ability to make yourself invisible but only to yourself.

3. The ability to conjure air out of thin air!

[Through the Living Elan He/Him]

The ability to grow your pinky toenail 1.25 times as fast. 

[Aeoryi she/her]

The ability to have a -10% off on any product (costs 10% more)

[ʟɪɢʜʈ]

The ability to grant other people non working powers

[Experience he/him]

The ability to immediately skip one add on YouTube.

[ʟɪɢʜʈ]

49 minutes ago, Experience said:

The ability to immediately skip one add on YouTube.

I don’t know that pretty nice 

[Experience he/him]

9 minutes ago, ΨιτιsτηεΒέsτ said:

I don’t know that pretty nice 

Problem is there's always two adds

[All_Mighty_Juice Royal Grand Exalted Highness]

1. The ability to see through walls, but only when the lights are off 

2. The ability to fall asleep instantly but then wake up 10 min later

3. The ability to phase through cotton

4.The ability to always know were one person is, that person is yourself

[Boomslug he/him]

A gps is not bad

On 9/24/2023 at 9:14 PM, MadMax634 said:

The ability to always know were one person is, that person is yourself

An internal gps isnt bad. I mean it would help

Edited November 14, 2023 by Boomslug
Fixed quote

[Lord Spirit he/him]

the ability to fly, but only straight up, no moving sideways

the ability to melt rocky road ice cream if your'e on a rocky road

the ability to speak to whales, but not to understand them (sorry dory)

[Calamity_Engine he/him]

The ability to read people's mind, but only the brain-stem part of the mind. (The part that controls automatic body functions, like your heart beat and breathing while you're not thinking about breathing.)

The ability to manipulate keyboards within arms reach that you can see. As a side effect, it creates the illusion of you typing on the keyboard.

[..... he/him]

6 hours ago, Calamity_Engine said:

The ability to read people's mind, but only the brain-stem part of the mind. (The part that controls automatic body functions, like your heart beat and breathing while you're not thinking about breathing.)

The ability to manipulate keyboards within arms reach that you can see. As a side effect, it creates the illusion of you typing on the keyboard.

you forgot that it also takes the same amount of energy  

[Doomslug the Arcane she/her]

The ability to sneeze with your eyes open ( impossible )

[Vin(Diesel)]

1. The power to read your own mind
2. The ability to eat dirt. You can’t get nourishment from it, it just doesn’t hurt you to eat it.
3. Stinging jellyfish. Tired of being stung by jellyfish? Now you can sting them back.
4.  Flying in your sleep. Like sleepwalking, but where you find yourself upon waking is even more unpredictable. *Crash*
5. Making people believe you are an Epic
6. Making people believe you aren’t an Epic
7. The ability to lick yourself clean like a cat
8. Coughing up hairballs like a cat 
9. Getting the hiccups at will

[CalamityBorn]

The ability to make people you don't want to hear louder

The ability that any time you die, you become twice as smart, (you have no resurrection powers)

The ability to strike yourself with lightning 

The ability to teleport but only one of your body parts goes there, (a random one)

[Skylano]

1. You can breath the oxygen in water, but you can't get it out of you lungs.

2. You can light on fire anything that is already on fire.

3. Invisibility, but only to yourself. (you can't see yourself but everyone else can)

4. Once a day when you check your wallet, there will be an extra quarter in there.

5. The ability to speak dead languages, but only ones that people are uninterested in.