traceria Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 Scene 1: Shot of an attractive, young Alethi man scarfing down a chicken breakfast burrito while a darkeyes server looks on in confusion. Scene 2: Shot of the same man kneeling and having an animated conversation with a really fancy and intimidating sword. Scene 3: Shot of the man placing, taking out, and replacing a necklace in his pocket multiple times, looking nervous. Scene 4: Two young Alethi men (one from the prior scenes) and a stately but attractive middle-aged woman in what is obviously the staging area of a dueling facility. Sitting on a table, strategically placed for advertising purposes, is a glass of [insert appropriate color depending on target audience] wine. Playing in the background is an engaging bass line... First young man (not wearing Shardplate): You ate chicken? Second young man (in Shardplate): [Puts on helm.] For breakfast. First young man: And you talked to the sword? Second young man: Had an entire conversation. First young man: Mother's chain in your pocket? Second young man: Checked three times. Stately yet attractive middle-aged woman: You still hold to those foolish superstitions? [both young men look at her sharply.] [Vocal accompaniment begins: "Very superstitious, writing's on the wall..."] Voiceover: It's only weird if it doesn't work. [Dialogue from Words of Radiance by Brandon Sanderson, Song lyrics from Stevie Wonder's "Superstition" and Voiceover dialogue from that series of Bud Light commercials.] 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taliefer Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 A for the effort...C for the Comedy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traceria Posted April 10, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 Eh, we watch a lot of hockey (and other sports at other times of the year) and are faced with dudes growing beards or their hair long or possibly cutting it if the mojo isn't right (losing multiple games), so when I got to that scene, it's all I could think about. It was worth the effort if only to get it out of my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taliefer Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 im a baseball fan, and i live in red wings territory, i get the superstition stuff ;p it does fit the scene, just never occured to me while reading. i did chuckle a bit~ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Star Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 He's the most interesting shardbearer in the world. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightflame Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 He's the most interesting shardbearer in the world. The Shardbearer your man could smell like. 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PorridgeBrick Posted April 10, 2014 Report Share Posted April 10, 2014 The Shardbearer your man could smell like. Um, after Shallan's conversation with Adolin, I don't think this is a good thing. 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeutroniumAlchemist Posted April 11, 2014 Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 Scene 5: Adolin throws down Shardblade, replaces him with Stick, wins duel (and girls off-course), puts on sunglasses and sips a glass of wine. *cue cool music 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traceria Posted April 11, 2014 Author Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 Okay, I'm just laughing at all the riffing now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shaggai Posted April 11, 2014 Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 (edited) Scene 5: Adolin throws down Shardblade, replaces him with Stick, wins duel (and girls off-course) because the opponent's Shardblade snaps upon contact with Stick, puts on sunglasses and sips a glass of wine. *cue cool music You missed a vital detail there. Edited April 11, 2014 by Shaggai Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baine Posted April 11, 2014 Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 The Shardbearer your man could smell like. I'M ON A RYSHADIUM. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Star Posted April 11, 2014 Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 I'M ON A RYSHADIUM. Not anymore... Rest in Peace, Sureblood 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King Posted April 11, 2014 Report Share Posted April 11, 2014 He's the most interesting shardbearer in the world. O rly? 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delightful Posted April 13, 2014 Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 Not anymore... Rest in Peace, Sureblood This made me sadder than Sureblood's actual death. Take....an upvote? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Islington Posted April 13, 2014 Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Star Posted April 13, 2014 Report Share Posted April 13, 2014 (edited) This made me sadder than Sureblood's actual death. Take....an upvote? Let's hope that Adolin makes this wine commercial soon. I don't want to see him take a shardblade in the knee. Edited April 13, 2014 by Patrick Star 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
digitalbusker Posted May 1, 2014 Report Share Posted May 1, 2014 (edited) Okay, if anybody is the Dos Equis guy, it's... well, it's not Adolin. He once arm-wrestled a chasmfiend... to a draw. He can parry a shardblade with his bare hands. He's defeated more Shardbearers since giving up his Blade than most people do in a lifetime. He doesn't take no for an answer, even from a god. He is... the most interesting Shardbearer in the world. "I don't always drink wine, but when I do, I prefer yellow or orange, because intoxication is forbidden to an officer in wartime by the Codes." "Stay honorable, my friends." Edited May 1, 2014 by digitalbusker 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traceria Posted May 2, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 Okay, if anybody is the Dos Equis guy, it's... well, it's not Adolin. Ha! Clearly, Adolin is only trying to follow in Dalinar's footsteps! He's got a ways to go. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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