Wit Beyond Measure

[OB] NO MATING!

17 posts in this topic

Our eldest started high school this year, started driving this month, and just got her first real boyfriend on Friday night, mere hours after I'd christened him her almost-boyfriend.  So much growing up!

Annie Pooh let me know that the new beau had been walking her to class, and I was all, but no touching, right?  She said they had been hugging.  At that point, I thought it was the perfect time to quote much of this chapter to her:

Quote

“Anyway,” Shallan said. “Pattern, you’re to be our chaperone tonight.”

“What,” Pattern said with a hum, “is a chaperone?”

“That is someone who watches two young people when they are together, to make certain they don’t do anything inappropriate.”

“Inappropriate?” Pattern said. “Such as … dividing by zero?”

...

She eyed it, remembering the times as a child when she’d sneaked tastes of men’s food—though not this specific dish.

Pattern buzzed. “Is this the inappropriate thing I’m supposed to stop you from doing?”

“No,” Shallan said, and Pattern settled back down.

....

“Oh!” Pattern said suddenly, bursting up from the bowl to hover in the air. “You were talking about mating! I’m to make sure you don’t accidentally mate, as mating is forbidden by human society until you have first performed appropriate rituals! Yes, yes. Mmmm. Dictates of custom require following certain patterns before you copulate. I’ve been studying this!”

“Oh, Stormfather,” Shallan said, covering her eyes with her freehand. A few shamespren even peeked in for a glimpse before vanishing. Twice in one week.

“Very well, you two,” Pattern said. “No mating. NO MATING.”

...

He leaned down. His breath smelled of spices, his uniform of the crisp, clean starch Dalinar required. His lips touched hers, and her heart fluttered. So warm.

“No mating!”

--Sanderson, Brandon. Oathbringer: Book Three of the Stormlight Archive (p. 150-153). Tom Doherty Associates. Kindle Edition.

And then I told her that I said all of that to say this, "NO MATING!"  I told her I'd be saying that every time they hugged.

And then this was the conversation:

NoMating.thumb.png.febe84587e4d91ec223ebaa70b8d93d8.png

Do you have a favorite section of Oathbringer?  Do you have a real-world application?

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First off, I would hurry to the nearest theatre to see Infinty War as soon as possible if I were you. That thing might end up being the movie of the decade.

Second, have you made her read Stormlight, or just the NO MATING part? 

Edited by Toaster Retribution
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She has read a lot of fantasy and a little of the same fantasy that I have, but she has unfortunately never read Sanderson.  I've tried to bribe her with the awesome foreshadowing, which we both love.  And recently I've tried bribing her with the Shardblades. 

She met her boyfriend when she joined a D&D group at her school.  They were impressed with her complex backstories for weapons and characters, especially since it was her first time playing.  Reading helped with that, of course.  And so I told her that the Shardblades were crazy awesome and that she needed to become familiar with them.  And Voidbringers.  And spren.  Everyone needs to read Sanderson.

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LOL That's awesome! :D

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Kind of creepy how invested you are into that no mating thing

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Wit, that's genius parenting. Well played.

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Parent of the year!

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If I was your daughter, or (worse) her boyfriend, I would be extremely annoyied by it. Especially if wasn't a fan of the book myself. In the best case I'd see it as a joke being stretched well past the breaking point. In the worst, I'd see it as lack of trust. I don't want to intrude into your family life, but I have to remind you, be aware that people who are not sanderfans rarely react positively to someone throwing sanderson quotes around all the time.

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I just wish there had been a follow up line during Adolin and Shallan's wedding scene. After the ceremony is complete, Pattern could have announced, "Congratulations. You may now mate!" in front of all the guests.

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On 4/4/2018 at 0:04 PM, Wit Beyond Measure said:

Our eldest started high school this year, started driving this month, and just got her first real boyfriend on Friday night, mere hours after I'd christened him her almost-boyfriend.  So much growing up!

Annie Pooh let me know that the new beau had been walking her to class, and I was all, but no touching, right?  She said they had been hugging.  At that point, I thought it was the perfect time to quote much of this chapter to her:

Holy crap, I have two daughters in elementary school. I am so worried about this part of life...

Really funny @Wit Beyond Measure, I think this is great!

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Awwww. Cute ;)

@Wit Beyond Measure You should buy them a D&D dice with a number inked out and tell them they may hug if they can roll this number. 3 times in a row!!

I must admit I got a good giggle off this scene. More from the divide by zero comment, twas nostalgically amusing as it was a bit of a nerdy joke we had back in school. And once my calculator spontaneously combusted when i tried it! (sorry, it really didnt. I just added that for dramatic effect, and cause i still think the ole joke is funny..)

** sigh **

Ahem... not to discredit you or your lil one but you do realise the young'ns have it built in them to take the word "no" as a challenge, and reitterating said word of forbiddence only reinforces this state of defiance.? 

Hehehe.. i kind of imagined an imaginary dialogue between these two beautiful celibate people:

Boy: I want to like your dad but everytime I look at him he gets this creepy glare and holds his hand out to the side.. i tried laughing but he just smiles.. and I get scared..

(This is the feeling every dad wants their lil girls boyfriends to feel, so far this is a win..)

Girl: ** sigh ** dont be such a peasant you were braver last night..

Boy: but.. but.. last night I was a Paladin! And I rolled a 24!! I saved everybody! It was awesome! 

Girl: ** eyeroll sigh ** you did save us and it was awesome.. you may touch me here now.. for 3 seconds.. and if dad finds out.. bring your dice..

Boy: ** passes out **

Ok, im done now.. sorry if that was more amusing to me than others.. but i couldnt help myself..

On a serious note! Where in damnation were thes D&D girls when I was a youngin :blink:

!~ HIF ~!

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Seriously though, it's creepy how you people glorify this celibacy thing like this. Especially if the people involved are old enough to already contemplate marriage - what is it to you what these people want to do between themselves? Why do you feel the need to hover above them and try to enforce your patriarchal control over them? I'm sorry to use strong terms like that, but that kind of creepy pressurizing so common in super religious circles just makes me feel sick. I doubt the objects of those "jokes" are laughing.

Edited by Vissy
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13 minutes ago, Vissy said:

Seriously though, it's creepy how you people glorify this celibacy thing like this. Especially if the people involved are old enough to already contemplate marriage - what is it to you what these people want to do between themselves? Why do you feel the need to hover above them and try to enforce your patriarchal control over them? I'm sorry to use strong terms like that, but that kind of creepy pressurizing so common in super religious circles just makes me feel sick. I doubt the objects of those "jokes" are laughing.

Or maybe he's just having fun teasing his daughter?

You don't know anything about their relationship, you're assuming so much here.

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12 minutes ago, Leyrann said:

Or maybe he's just having fun teasing his daughter?

You don't know anything about their relationship, you're assuming so much here.

Only thing I know is I've seen this kind of thing happen before, and the people subjected to behaviour like that have never been happy about it. And what would I need to assume, anyway? They could have a great relationship. Trying to force yourself into someone else's business is still absolutely wrong, and the happy jokey-jokey tone in that context just feels creepy to me. 

Edited by Vissy
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Just now, Vissy said:

Only thing I know is I've seen this kind of thing happen before, and the people subjected to behaviour like that have never been happy about it. And what would I need to assume, anyway? They could have a great relationship. Trying to force yourself into someone else's business is still absolutely wrong, and the happy jokey-jokey tone in that context just feels creepy to me. 

You're forcing yourself into his business.

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30 minutes ago, Vissy said:

Only thing I know is I've seen this kind of thing happen before, and the people subjected to behaviour like that have never been happy about it. And what would I need to assume, anyway? They could have a great relationship. Trying to force yourself into someone else's business is still absolutely wrong, and the happy jokey-jokey tone in that context just feels creepy to me. 

Thing is, there is a lot of things humans never get happy about, but which nevertheless might be good for them. I can see a lot of good things with being more strict when it comes to sexual relations, and I can also see problems with it. There are two sides to a coin :-)

Edited by Toaster Retribution
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1 hour ago, Leyrann said:

You're forcing yourself into his business.

Hmm. I see. 

51 minutes ago, Toaster Retribution said:

Thing is, there is a lot of things humans never get happy about, but which nevertheless might be good for them. I can see a lot of good things with being more strict when it comes to sexual relations, and I can also see problems with it. There are two sides to a coin :-)

Yes, and I believe it's best left at that. 

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