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Church of the Stick


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By the essence of all that I was, all that i am and all that i will be. I hereby surrender  my heart and proclaim my self, under the enteral skies of the playground by which I now stand covered in mulch, to be a STICK! 

I AM A STICK! 

Liberated at last.

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  • 3 weeks later...

This came up in my twitterstream. No idea who the person is that posted it, but apparently if you force a bot to watch 1000 hours of Olive Garden commercials, then ask it to write a commercial of its own, prominent in the script is the line "Unlimited stick" (right after the line "I shall eat Italian citizens.").

Also, I do in fact drive a stick (manual transmission car), so I am a stick - - or at least my car is. ;)

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Alright, now this is going to be a long one, but I ask you all to stick around till the end. Life isn't always full of sunshine; sometimes you get the short end of the stick. But remember, if anyone bothers you, stick and stones can break your bones, but words will never hurt you. Here at the shard, we all stick together. Just come to your friends, and we'll stick up for you if you're too afraid to do it on your own. Whoever it is probably has a stick up his backside. Just take those bad thoughts and stick them in a safe in the back of your mind. Then cover up that safe with a poster, and use gum to make sure it sticks to the wall.

I didn't mean to turn this into a PSA, but I started writing and the idea just kinda stuck.

I'm out of puns. Please offer more if you have them, whether you made them yourself or got them off the internet.

PS. What's brown and sticky?

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  • 1 month later...
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