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Verdance

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Everything posted by Verdance

  1. Just to clarify this is a metaphor and not a statement on race or ethnicity or gender or sexuality in any way i have so much anxiety right now
  2. No souls
  3. Lately I’ve been thinking in this metaphor that I’m like the color grey when my circumstances are black and dark and heavy, i feel relaxed in comparison. Im able to handle my emotions and feel somewhat in control but when the world around me is white and bright and easy, i feel darker in comparison. I don’t want to be all that happy all the time, it feels empty and worthless and only make me feel lonelier like im not truly depressed, but neither am i happy But just writing this down has helped a bit because the problem isn’t whether in metaphor i am grey or white or black- obviously, i am green. The problem is comparisons and stagnancy. Im getting too caught up in comparing myself to the world around me, which is mostly *lies* (in a Cryptic way) anyhow, when I should be thankful for what God has given me and learn to grow and let things go. for example, i have become a bit attached to waking up in the morning and sitting in the backseat of a van or bus during carpool when the sun is still down, listening to music and drinking coffee and being half asleep. Now that the sun is coming up earlier, it feels like that experience is being taken from me instead, i should take the time to look at the sunrise. I always forget until i look outside how ridiculously beautiful the sky is. Literally every sky always blows me away, they are all gorgeous and unique and sometimes colorful. God is an artist, the sky is one of his favorite canvases, and I have a constantly changing gallery right at my fingertips every day! All i have to do it look up! dont be grey. Definitely try not to be black. And don’t get caught up in despair just because you can’t be white be colorful
  4. Im going to hyperfixate on the title before I actually read this +1 reputation for using the correct color. Green beats out everything else every time, obviously also, is this a Great Gatsby reference? The ‘green light’ is constantly used as symbolism in that book for hope and far off dreams in an ecclesiastical vanity of a world, hope that persists even when life feels shallow and meaningless. i hate to ‘erm actually’ you, but there were eight in noah’s ark. Noah, his wife, his three sons, and their three wives. Forgive me if this is terribly rude, but is that supposed to be an enby angst sort of thing? If so, the above paragraph doesn’t take away from it, its still an excellent metaphor. I just did a noah’s ark poem so this is an interesting juxtaposition those closing lines feel very familiar to me. Prove to me I am a seed planted and not a corpse buried. Prove to me my life isn’t over before its began. Prove to me my hope isn’t just me lying to myself, that there’s some other reason than ‘people care about me’ that i deserve to exist.
  5. quick update about Discord-

    I am taking that username down as it is no longer accessible to me

    I added MFA to that account and somehow the MFA codes on my phone no longer function for that account

    like they were wiped from the account on my phone and I can no longer use that authenticator app to log in to my Discord account

    so i guess im making a new one? eventually?

    sorry @Denissimo, i tried

    1. Verdance

      Verdance

      tentatively,

      reach me at 

      verdancemeansgreen

  6. Early access. Should get deeper eventually. the map is maybe 3000 meters longwise from my estimation, looks like this:
  7. 9/10 appeared nearby. “Sorry, had to make a call, would have come earlier cause I had some questions. Is this like a multiple personalities thing or- what the!?” He broke off as he saw the small girl in the striped sweater. “No, this has got to be a joke. They’re sending another one? And the one from the game? As if she could do what Sanguine couldn’t?”
  8. “Hmmm…” the girl said. “Me neither! Perfect!” She left no explanation. “Do you know who you are, though?”
  9. Eragon!!! Can’t wait for Murtagh book 2!!!
  10. So i said that its not that deep because its a video game and should not be that important but also in the game the map so far is only about 500 meters deep
  11. Its not that deep Max depth is only 500 meters :3
  12. “Awww, you know me,” she replies, “don’t pretend you don’t!” OOC i was planning on this being 9/10 being silly/a jerk, but it feels too creepy tbh this is a separate character
  13. I’m realizing my guitar isn’t very good and that’s holding me back quite a bit. Regardless, I’m progressing. These are some chord progressions that I can’t find a use for.
    Nomu is almost finished. Still scuffed but very fun and definitely the hardest song i know so far. Will record soon.

    dont ask about my singing it’s not good enough and would be revealing too much

  14. The little girl laughs, spreading her arms wide as if to say ‘look at me’. “I can’t kill her with an illusion, silly. I dont even have my… knife…”, she trails off, realizing she’s holding a knife. “Where’d that come from?”, she laughs awkwardly, chucking it away into the grass.
  15. Like, it doesn’t go away, it spans across my survival and creative worlds, and it stays even after i quit and reopen the game i get some sound effects like the music struggling to exist, and PDA voice lines, but basically every sound effect that immerses you in the game is gone. I will have to try and uninstall and reinstall the game submitted a ticket to the devs about both glitches To be fair my laptop was not designed to run a game as GPU intensive as Subnautica 2, it’s still like 20-30 FPS under good conditions, but still very try annoying
  16. In America, you are always watching television. In communist Russia, the television is always watching you!
  17. The little girl picks a flower and throws it at Ennalee. It bounces off her forehead, and for a moment, nothing happens. Then Ennalee is treated to a detailed and instantaneous illusion of being thrown across the fabric of reality, colors and images flashing by so quickly that Ennalee’s nervous system can barely register a few images as once as the projection fools her brain into feeling speed and momentum far beyond what the human body could experience in reality and still remain in a solid state of matter. Then it stops. A bird chirps pleasantly. “Chaos!” The little girl sings. If the man looks up, he will notice the starry face of Night watching patiently. A starhawk perches on a tree branch nearby.
  18. Dang it my subnautica base was glitched and so i had to use a dev tool to delete it and get a refund on the materials but there were so many that it crashed my game’s sound engine permanently
  19. The small girl, who had been staring off into space, mouthing something like she was trying very hard to read, snapped back to reality. “Enna and Ennalee?” she asked. “That’s so cute! Is there just a Lee?” She reached out and shook Enna’s hand.
  20. “Oh, look,” the girl said, stopping dancing. “Answers.”
  21. Don’t subscribe to that many things i start unfollowing stuff when i come back to more than 20 notifications
  22. A small girl in a green and yellow striped shirt appeared and danced in circles around Ennalee. “There are no answers,” she sang. “Chaos is the language the universe speaks to us!”
  23. “Ooh, so you’re Threadaware and a Narrator? Interesting, not sure how else a mortal could see through that deception,” 9/10 remarked. And just like that, he was gone, leaving behind a spray of mist that smelled like ginger lemonade and licorice.
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