The Silence of Night
I want…to be free.
The wind, the night.
The cold, no warmth.
Away from these husks.
Away from the sun.
Alone…with silence.
The silence of night.
I want to walk, run,
Dance, skip,
Sit, lay down,
Taking in the stars,
Feeling fresh breeze,
The clean invigorating breeze,
Purging the filth,
Imbuing the true-and-only joy.
I want to just forget.
Walk the night for hours,
Not go back.
Breathe out in relief,
Then in, calming, euphoric.
Instead I lie in bed,
Sit in a chair,
Walk these halls,
Immersing in that which I hate,
Not allowing myself the freedom I crave.
I lay here with no energy,
Typing away on this brick,
Not nurturing,
But withering.
Oh how I long,
To walk in the breeze,
To run through a field,
Collapse breathing heavily,
Lie face-up, in awe at the stars.
Stay there for hours, no care in the world.
Letting time pass, as comfortable as I’ve ever been.
Oh what a dream,
What a wish, what a…
Beautiful scene.
?
I stumble in a dance, there are people around me walking, lips moving. Are they talking, I can’t hear them, but oh it’s alright. Where am I, I don’t know, it’s strange. What was I doing, who am I, oh this dance is nice, pleasant, who are these people though?
…
I wake up sweating, heart racing, breathing quickly, why? I’ll just… I’ll just rest some more…
…
I’m a child again, such wonderful times… oh oh nevermind, must have slipped my mind. It’s all… all…
…
I… what am I doing, why am I holding this I don’t—
…
I’m scared I hide they’re lips move there are sounds this sound in my head it won’t stop it won’t stop it won’t stop it won’t stop it won’t…
…
I don’t remember yesterday I don’t remember anything what what am what where where am I what am I doing what is this what is this
…
La~la~la… the melody plays sloooowwwlllyyy… soooo peaceful…
…
Lying unmoving unmoving move I don’t move my body is not my body does not. I see faintly through a vignette hearing from under the water in a distant room do I… heh… what’s that world like? When was I last there…
…
My mind mind my myyyy my my mi—
…
Sometimes I feel a little prick it’s funny very funny hilarious a little prick prick prick prick pinch from beyond… beyond the veil of fog and darkness and into that place… just a prick and pinch… like… like a… a… …
…
Soothing sounds… soothing sounds… I think I’ll rest now… just for a bit…
…
Sometimes I hear muffles… muffles… mumbled muffles… heheh… muffled… mufflers… muffins… muffins…? I want muffins… taste… taste is what?
…
Pinch pinch haha… sometimes I get this prick… this little prick… so dulled from beyond… beyond…?
…
Fog… such a… a thick… fog… why… why can’t I… think…?
…
Blinking… glimpses… lights… light… white… black… white… black… white…
…
Black
…
I remember… this… old… this… remember… a tune… from a… a different time.
…
I feel cold… I feel… I feel cold. I feel cold. Cold. Cold. I feel cold. I feel cold. I feel… I…
…
Aaaaaaa… ba a da pa a a…
…
Sorry I just got some poem stuff that I wrote last night.
Climbing
The icy wind stings your skin.
The bitter chill numbs your limbs.
You pull your hood tighter.
You silver and head higher.
Your gloveless hands bleed.
You pay them no heed.
The wind blows back your hood.
You look down at the road,
Down the ice-stained-red,
Back the way you came,
And keep climbing.
You are shaking and numb,
In pain, teeth chattering,
Hands bleeding, eyes stinging,
Your fingers nearly slip,
You can barely grip.
You've lost control of your limbs,
You fall,
You can barely process what happened,
You hit the ice below,
It cracks,
You fall.
Cold.
Pain.
Warmth.
Eyes closing,
Thoughts slowing,
Mind drifting,
Slowly sinking,
Mouth open,
Encompassed by ice-cold,
Trailing red above as you slowly drop below.
Icy Warmth
Have you ever,
Submerged your hand,
In cold-cold water,
Only to find it...
Warm?
Have you ever,
Wondered what it's like,
To submerge yourself completely,
In cold-cold water,
And stay there?
Have you ever,
Had the cold-cold wind slice through,
Your thin clothing,
And into your skin?
Have you ever,
Been so cold,
Shaking furiously,
That you can't think?
Have you ever,
Waited out in the cold-cold weather,
Outside the heat, of your own volition?
Have you ever,
Submerged your hand,
In hot-hot water,
With steam rising furiously,
To see what it was like?
Have you ever,
Wondered what it's like,
To leave it there?
Have you ever,
Been so hot,
Sweating intensely,
That you can't think?
Have you ever,
Wished you would pass out,
Just to escape the heat of hell?
Have you?
Night
The night, wonderful.
Why do we sleep through it?
What a waste.
But then again,
Part of night's beauty,
Is in the quiet.
No one else up,
Not even the sun.
A peaceful time just for you.
I wish I could stay up all night,
But of course that is not possible.
Not if I want to function.
Do I?
Allowing Rest
She did not allow herself to rest, not yet. She could feel herself getting close to the Answer. She strained, reaching across her bedroom floor—the desk had grown too crowded, sagging under the weight of stacked tomes and hundreds of loose papers—and awkwardly grabbed an unorderly pile of papers, almost toppling a nearby stack of books in the process. She filed through the loose stack of pages—some upside-down, sideways, or folded in half—looking for one in particular. She reached the end and set down the papers. Where had she put it? She lifted her mug and tried taking a sip of coffee, but found it empty. She set it back down with the others, then scanned the clutter of her bedroom carpet, looking that page—or trying to remember where she’d left it. She didn’t spot it, nor did she recall where it had last been. She had been so close. She could already feel the thoughts slipping through the cracks. She sighed, exhausted, and allowed herself to collapse.
I was basically asleep while writing these, especially that last one. So... idk if they'll make sense or be written poorly or anything.
Endless Aisles
Browsing the lines,
The endless rows.
Selecting from mass-produced items,
Picking cute clothes.
Arms grow tired,
A small piece of infinity explored.
That's how our brains are wired;
We always want more.
Browsing the lines,
The endless rows.
Too many highs,
Sparing with the lows.
Endless aisles,
In my arms: piles.
So many wants,
Not enough clear thought.
Brains will be lured and hooked,
Souls lost and wallets shook.
In this mirror-room maze,
This infinite-eternal craze.
Meet You on the Train
How I wish to meet you on the train,
See you in the crowd,
Spot your hair, your face, your fit.
Speak with you,
Know you,
Be with you,
Meet you.
Close Your Eyes and Drift
Close your eyes gently,
Relax.
Rest, give in.
Drift off and dream,
Listen to your needs, the peace.
Just close your eyes and drift to sleep.
Unfazed, Yet Troubled
She sat there, without the care or energy to even be the slightest bit fazed by what they were saying to her. She had been the target of these insults for years, and she had stopped caring long ago. She simply stared through the drizzle into the distance, away from them, thinking about... her life. She picked up her sandwich, then set it down again, growing sick at the thought of eating anything. She hadn't had much of an appetite in... well... she couldn't remember.
Soon, lunch was over and she packed up to head for class. Before she could, one of the boys, who had been snickering and insulting her like the worthless piles of crap they were, stepped up to her. She chose to ignore him, as he wasn't worth the waste of mental energy to think about. Unfortunately, as she turned to leave he grabbed her by the shoulder and said something. She simply turned and, with a blank expression and distant gaze, spoke in a slow and slightly slurred voice "What?" She asked.
She had been thinking so much of... other things and nothing at once that she had tuned out the world. Now, she cocked her head at the strange-but-curious encounter. They rarely approached her or directly interacted with her. As she was pondering this, he said something again, but she missed it. She didn't even know he'd said something—she was so deep within her mind, staring blankly ahead, eyes glazed over, ears not working properly. He shook her, but she barely noticed. She faintly felt him take whatever she'd been holding, but her thoughts had drifted to the fact that the morning had already passed, which meant... returning.
As she stood there, she grew tired. More drowsy than she was on a nearly-perpetual basis. She couldn't feel anything, couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything. She didn't want to—life would be much easier if she didn't have to experience it. If she could just disconnect and space out. If she could go numb, when she needed to. As she thought this, though, she remembered where she was. Outside, standing near a wooden table, with one of them there. Except... when she opened her eyes—when had she closed them?—she was lying on the concrete ground, near the legs of the picnic table, and there was no one to be seen. She finally felt something, too: pain.
Sentenced
It was his time. They unlocked his cell door and roughly hauled him up from where he was sitting on the stone ground with no care whatsoever. They hadn’t told him when this day would come—or even if it would—but they didn’t need to. Ever since his capture, he knew his fate. He had to admit, though, that he had been holding out hope. Just a small hope, a faint longing for a miracle, as they sometimes had in tales. He was aware that this wish for salvation was ultimately never going to come true, but he also knew he would still hold onto it until the very end.
Words, Wards
Word ward words.
Word.
Ward words.
Ward wards,
Ward word wards.
Wards—words ward wards.
Words warded—words ward wards’ words.
Directionality
I don’t love hate, do I?
I do hate love, don’t I?
"They can survive on very little, in their cells. They barely need to be fed, and simply need daily watering. Why give extra? After all, we are doing them a favor keeping them alive..."
— Mono Guidebook (Abridged 30th Edition), Chapter 17, Page 9.
CAUGHT;NO-HOPE
YOU MUST COMPLY,
UNLESS YOU WISH TO DIE.
AND EVEN IF YOU DO,
WE WON'T BE KIND TO YOU.
YOUR FATE IS SEALED,
IT WILL NOT BE REPEALED.
WE HAVE CAUGHT YOUR EYE,
YOU HAVE SEEN WHERE WE LIE.
WE HAVE SEEN YOU TOO,
YOU AND YOUR CREW.
THEY ARE ALL REVEALED,
YOUR PLANS WE WIELD.
A Mind;No Body
I watch them from beyond.
I see my body lying there.
I see them approach it,
Take it,
And leave.
I follow them with some difficulty,
Like learning to walk.
I float through the air above their black trucks,
Feeling no air resistance at all.
Feeling nothing, for that matter, save a faint coolness.
Like touching chilly metal, or walking into a cool room.
Other than that, I feel nothing.
Heck, I can already glide through this place pretty easily,
Though it feels almost like sliding on ice;
It’s hard to glide to a specific point, especially when I move quickly to catch up with the trucks.
I end up a little too far to the right, with the trucks hazy through the Window.
I carefully adjust to get them back into view, and continue my pursuit.
What could they want with me?
Or, rather, that… husk I was trapped in for all those years.
As the trucks enter a parking garage, I struggle to maneuver through the relatively small entrance, then I realize I can just… sort of phase through the walls.
I get inside just in time to see a section of the floor finish lifting up. It appears to have formed a ramp. Now, I can’t even discern anything different about it from the rest of the floor.
I drift over to that section and then, with some hesitation, sink into the floor. Through a thick layer of stone and metal I descend, and it is hard to see whilst “inside” it, but I just keep moving down.
I must have missed the entrance-level rooms, because I end up in a dark room.
I have trouble seeing without light, but I can hear muffled sounds. They sound like speech, actually.
I don’t see the source, but I would easily miss if anyone was here, as the room is pitch black.
Actually…
Is that…?
Yes… the voice isn’t muffled, but mumbling.
“Carla… Carla…”
“Carla…”
"Two meanings, too late both ways, as we are all late and may as well be."
— The Sixth of the Ten Icks, Late
Eyes
Eyes watching me all around, I see Them.
Eyes in jars on the floor in the mirror.
The mirror!
They use my eyes,
My eyes are Theirs now,
My eyes become Their Eyes.
You are Seen now.
“I must…”
“Do what I can,”
“To delay Their spreading Influence.”
“I…”
I’m scared.
“I must leave,”
“It’s for the better.”
The better of this withered world.
“The…”
What does it matter,
We should all give in to the inevitable End that we are creeping ever-closer to.
What’s the point, after all?
They have won,
They have always won,
We have no chance,
They—
Secrets Unknowable (The Page (2025/12/31), pt. 2)
A single page, the most unknowable secrets. A single sheet, the Unraveler of Minds. A single paper, held in a hand. A single mind, now gone.
Insanity Book
It resides on a dusty shelf,
In a forgotten Dark Hall.
No still-sane mind,
Has glimpsed its pages.
It seeks unstable minds,
Whose insanity must be Revealed.
It seeks you, my friend.
As it sought me.
Sought
It was a late-summer night,
Not too long ago.
I was helpless, confused,
And it sought me.
I will soon seek it too,
As it gave me a vision.
Restless Visions
A vision of it,
In the dark corner of a Dark Hall,
On a shelf,
In my mind.
Work
Stace didn't mind working here. Mono treated her well—well enough, for this job. She usually got enough to pay for two meals a day, though sometimes Mono reduced her pay for a few days; they really didn't like her... slacking on the job. Sure, she only got one five minute break to use the restroom or take a breath during work, but who was she to complain? After all, without Mono's willingness to offer her a job, she would be like one of those starving and homeless rebels. Those ungrateful rebels... they defied all the kindness and lenience Mono showed them, and faced the consequences of doing so.
And so, Stace accepted that this was the best she could do with her life and continued her work each day.
Living Hell
Why why why
Just just just
Stop please.
Just stop.
Leave me alone.
Stop making me inch toward
Things I shouldn't.
Stop.
Please.
Stop making life,
A living hell.
The tangled webs converge and Meet.
The Unaware go through their motions precisely.
They follow the Script.
Laughter
We drive through the cool night,
Through the buildings and lights,
We take a right.
We drive down the boulevard,
We enter the courtyard,
Into a line, behind cars.
We state our wishes,
Pay with our riches,
Receive our dishes.
We head on out,
Back to the mount,
And I have no doubt.
We laugh,
In this raft,
Of metalcraft,
(Part three of Help from 2026/03/15)
I Fear
July 26 2025
I I they know they have to. I could almost see it in their eyes, feel it… I must have slipped up last time we met. I must have. They didn’t see me did they? They couldn’t have… But then why…
I’m scared. I mean, I’ve been scared every day these years, but this is different. I fear them more each day. Each day, it… it gets worse. Worse and worse every day. At least before they were kinda steady, but now they’ve been acting differently. They know. But they can’t. It must be something else. Or I’m just imaging this, in all my…
(Part two of Control from 2026/01/08)
Rescue (Control (2026/01/08), pt. 2)
“I’m here to help you,” whispered Ghost to the man sitting—still and silent—at the edge of the bed. They would have taken control by now, and she’d seen their Abductors pull up outside. M entered behind Ghost, and together they tried supporting the undoubtedly terrified man with their shoulders. But of course, they had locked his limbs. Well, they had prepared for this. Ghost would thank M later for her seemingly-excessive paranoia, once they were back at the safehouse—if it could be called that.
M set down a small bag and took out a folded chair—not unlike a lawn chair—and unfolded it. The chair had makeshift bars for lifting, so it could be carried similarly to a stretcher. Ghost and M quickly and awkwardly maneuvered the frozen man into the chair, then hurried to lift him up and out of there.
“Damn, this is heavy,” M hissed.
Ghost just grunted—she was used to doing difficult work. She could handle a little discomfort… or a lot… for an important cause.
The duo—carrying the chair with the man—shuffled across the wooden floor and out the doorway. Ghost could hear the Drones, she thought. That nearly-silent yet somehow obvious buzz of monotony and hell. She hoped these weren’t Terminator Drones. After all, why send Abductors if they’re just going to Terminate the person? Ghost whispered to M—they couldn’t take the stairs again; they’d have to find a window. Preferably one on the facing away from the force gathered outside.
Straining from the weight of carrying the man, Ghost and M walked throught the hallways of the apartment building, making their way to the other side of the building. As they walked, Ghost heard the buzzing again. When they reached the man’s room and found it empty…
Suddenly, the man—in robotic, jerky motions—stood up, causing Ghost and M to stumble.
M caught herself on a small hallway table. “Oh crap,” she said, not bothering to whisper.
Seeing, Understanding
“I’ve Seen Them,” she whispered.
He glanced at her quickly before turning back to the road. “Hmm? Seen who?”
“I do not Understand but I See Them…” she said under her breath, staring sightlessly ahead at the fog.
“What do you mean?”
“They Enter my mind, my dreams, I’ve Seen Them oh I See Them!”
Faith
I am enamored, intrigued.
In your faith,
When I have none.
Those Ancient
With maws gaping dark abysses and eyes that see all,
The Beings From Beyond They come to Feed we must not See we must hope for our Sparing or our Sacrifice.
Those Ancient, Those Sacred Those Feared They Enter They Enter!
Their reasoning is Their own we must not Understand we cannot Understand lest we lose our minds what little may be left.
Our minds our precious fragile minds They shred so easily with Their unparsability and great scope.
Our mortal minds were not meant for Them They are Beyond.
The Cycle They Enter They Feed They Return.
Now is Time.
The End(less Loop)
Life as we know it is over
Life
Life does not exist
Nor do our minds
Our minds
Our minds are long-gone
We are but husks and shadows long-dead
Enacting lives we remember in past
Past
What is the past
We have no past and no future,
And arguably no present
For we do not exist
We are all dead
We will all die
And we have not lived
Hooked
Hooked like your mind on the bait,
And the reel is retracting.
Entranced, stuck,
Resigned to your fate,
Your final enacting,
No such thing as good luck.
Blots of Ink
Shadows on paper,
Shadows of mind.
Images emerge,
Images I see.
Fear manifest,
Fear revealed.
What I see?
I won’t say.
What I see?
I’m not sure.
What I see?
Better unseen.
Images entrancing,
Mind dancing,
Eyes failing,
Insanity prevailing,
No longer sane,
Brain a haze.
Dazed
I’m in a daze—eyes heavy brain tired body slow.
I’m so tired—so very tired.
Staring blankly—did I space out?
Walking slowly—trying not to stumble.
Almost done—almost through the day.
Yet so much longer—so long before rest.
Head drooping—feeling so loopy.
Not enough sleep—not in weeks.
Yawning—brain stalling.
Trying—slowly dying.
Mind Unraveled
Self, in pieces.
Minds melted, consciousness rotted.
Attention grabbed, lives stolen.
You watch, you stare,
Watch yourself wither,
And you don’t care.
You don’t move, unaware.
Time… (Space (2026/01/08), pt. 2)
She had been here for months, headed toward Salvation. She would get there any day now. Just a few more years. Just a… Just… She tried not to dwell on… time. She had turned off the clocks on all the holographic displays; she had taken down the old-school wall calendar and hid it somewhere—she didn’t know where, and hoped she didn’t remember. She just let the days slip by, sleeping when she felt like it, eating… occasionally. Sometimes she turned off the artificial gravity and just let herself float while her mind drifted, hours passing in no time.
They hadn’t sent anyone else with her; after all, this had been her idea. She had fought for it, and succeeded. That didn’t help with the mindless boredom, however. Each day the same. Days themselves lost meaning—there was no day and there was no night. There was no light, only darkness. There was no time.
She still got access to the Network every so often. She had grown used to the pattern, and knew when to expect the… transmissions. If they could be called that. Mainly just the occasional software update or status of… of… what she was leaving behind. She’d be out of range soon, though. Come to think of it, she felt like it had been too long since the last transmission. Oh. She must have already gone out of range. How long ago was that? Had she actually received any transmissions? She… decided to ignore those thoughts and drift.
[CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING]
Some of the following poems/stories are kinda depressing and may be triggering. Consider not reading these if you are depressed or get triggered by certain things.
PA
"Attention all! Attention all! Please be aware that we are undergoing technical ... hindrances, and thus our systems will be offline until further notice while we investigate and remedy these issues. I repeat, all non-critical systems will be offline until further notice! We apologize for the inconvenience, and will keep you updated."
Falling;Floating
I'm floating, it feels. As the air rushes by me, I glance toward the sun on the horizon and feel warmth. With my back to the ground, I can't see what must be rushing to greet me. I face the pink-yellow clouds above—those beautiful clouds. This moment lasts an eternity, it seems, as I think back on my life. My wasted life, my unlived life. Nothing worth remembering, nothing accomplished. My only regret is that I couldn't... couldn't appreciate what little I had; finding joy in even the smallest things and my saddest moments—numerous, those were. And now I am blessed with this clarity and wisdom. Would that I was in life.
Steady Rhythm
Drip drip, drip drip, drip drip, drip drip...
The steady rhythm, not yet ceasing.
Drip drip.
You watch, horrified yet unable to look away.
Drip drip.
Your clothes stain red.
Drip drip.
A puddle forms, trickles, streams finding grooves in the tiles and spreading.
Drip drip drip.
You are frozen, numb, hooked, staring at your reflection.
Drip.
Only it isn't you.
Find the Light
July 29, 2025
I talked to her again today! That's good, it was nice. I wish I could do it more often though. I wish it wasn't so hard too... What if they find out? Oh no no what will they do to me...
No, it's fine. I just have to hold out for a little longer. Just a little longer. And there's no way they could know. They haven't found out yet, have they?
Anyway, I gotta try to focus on the positive, right? We didn't really talk about much, but it was so nice to just not have any worries. She told me about her week and the trip. I so wish I could've been there with her... but of course that's impossible. She showed me a drawing she made, of the lake. It's nice to see her improving. Maybe I should try some art... I won't have much time, but it would probably help. Yeah, I think I'll try that.
Breathe
How long?
How much longer can I last?
My lungs are already burning.
I should've tried harder, done more. How long can I endure?
I just want to breathe, but I can't.
I can't simply open my mouth and inhale.
I can't do anything, this is it.
I CANNOT BREATHE.
I could give in.
I...I could...
I feel myself weakening.
I don't want to go.
My eyes feel so heavy.
I don't want to die here, unknown.
But I can't move.
Care
They tell me to sleep but I'm fine.
They tell me to eat but I'm not hungry.
They tell me to drink but why?
They ask if I'm fine I say yeah.
They ask if I'll do it I say of course.
Because if I don't, I'm worthless.
If I neglect it—the one thing I need—then I have nothing I need, no purpose.
It's the only thing left.
And what else do I need?
Nothing.
Who cares if I don't sleep—I'll live.
If I eat or don't, either is fine.
I'll drink enough, or I won't.
Who cares?
Not me.
Should I care, for my care?
The Voice
He heard her voice now, almost daily. He didn't know who she was, and rarely understood her words, but he found some comfort in the soothing sound of her voice. He no longer watched the stone walls around him, somehow finding them hilarious and overwhelming at once. He no longer watched them, yes. He listened. He could sometimes hear the faintest of sounds, lying in his side with his head against the cold stone walls. He no longer watched, yes. He ran his hands—why did they ache?—across the nearly-smooth walls. Each time he found a shallow groove, he ran his fingers over it, enjoying the sensation. Sensation. He had rarely felt sensations, yet now he was seeking the smallest of them. He was still lying down, he couldn't remember the last time he sat, let alone stood. Her voice talked to him, yet he couldn't talk back. Didn't. He didn't even consider the option, it never crossed his fragile mind. The last time he'd spoken...
* * *
Zack, you need to get up. I know it's hard, but I need you to.
Zack, please. Time is running out.
This Sad Town
I walk slowly over the cracked and crumbled pavement past leaf-bare trees and rusty swings. These littered roads and decrepit abodes. I glance at an open mailbox, piled with letters not-read, then turn to the windows shattered by rocks. No lights on, no one home. The shattered glass and open window, leading to what was once my own.
I walk this sad town, no one here, just their lives, and my home.
Help
Aug 2, 2025
I don’t know what to do. They’re gonna find me, I can’t hide forever. Even if they don’t I’ll need food and water eventually. I don’t even know why I’m writing this, it’s not like anyone will find it. I just wish someone would. I wish someone was out there to help me. I wish I could just escape this awful place. Why does life have to be so cruel? Why did I have to end up with them? And why did I have to just… ugh. This is all my fault… I shouldn’t have done that, I’m so stupid. Why am I so stupid? Why can’t I just learn from my mistakes? I probably deserve what they’re gonna do to me anyway.
—
Aug 2
I guess I fell asleep. Why am I crying? I deserve this don’t I? It hurts so much though. I don’t want it. Help. If anyone’s out there, help. It’ll probably be too late if you find this though. They will find me. I can almost hear them. Oh no I do hear them. No no no no no. I just wante
Rambler
“They’re coming I know it I’ve seen they they’ve seen me we know we know we know we know…”
…
“I should just give up they’re probably here already it’s no use I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead…”
…
“No please no no no stop touching me stop touching me stop touching me please please please…”
…
“Why can’t I see why can’t I see turn on the lights what is that sound where am I where am I oh where am I…”
…
“No what are you doing no no no no no please I don’t want that no please I don’t…”
…
“Where is my sheet where is it did you take it I need it please give it back please give it back please…”
…
“Why am I hungry haven’t I eaten does food not exist I don’t know I don’t know what’s real what’s real where am I what’s going on why am I dying why am I dying…”
…
“...purpleandblue…whyisitgreywhy…iswhatiswhat…mymymyicantmy…wha…iwant…sleepy…why…”
…
Note: this post was from Jan 1., which is the reason for the title. I will be posting the stories I wrote in the past week over the course of a few days until I am caught up. I will still be writing stories each day (as I did today), but I won't post them for a few days - to avoid messing up the order on the blog.
Enjoy!
Forgiven
He forgave her. It hadn’t been her fault, nor his. It was their doing all along, those deceivers. He held out his arms, and they embraced one another, sharing tears of many emotions—fear, anger, and…joy.
The Ocean
Young Jim stood on the beach, watching the tide wash up the sand, then retreat. Last time he’d stood here…the memory was obscured in fog, but he could remember small details. Harsh lights scattering the darkness. The desperate pleas of those who held him dearly. Then…nothing.
Time
Gwen was out of time. She had to leave now. “Phil, we gotta go. Now.”
Phil—a man in his late 30s with a short beard—looked up from where he was hurriedly stuffing supplies and mementos in a nondescript duffel bag. “Just one more moment.”
“No,” Gwen said, walking over to Phil, “we’re out of time.”
Phil looked regretfully around the dark room before nodding and standing up. Together, they crept through the dark rooms of the now-abandoned once-home. They avoided the creaky steps—memorized long ago—as they descended into the basement. Gwen remorsefully thought of how they’d never gotten around to renovating the basement. There was no time for such thoughts. Gwen in the lead, they carried their duffels over to the hidden trapdoor. Gwen set hers down and opened it, then they dumped their duffels and climbed down the wooden ladder into the tunnel. Phil closed the trapdoor on his way down—anything that delayed their pursuit was welcome. Gwen and Phil then hurried through the cramped and uneven dirt tunnel—toward escape.
Airborne
The virus was airborne. Ruby immediately began holding her breath, hoping it wasn’t too late. She hastened in her task, flipping switches and typing away on the old-school keyboard. She had to stop the virus before it spread too far. The people who had engineered it were likely safe in a fallout shelter somewhere—vaccines in their bodies—wearing those specially-designed masks and plenty of emergency cures, just in case. The rest of the population wouldn’t be so fortunate.
Ruby’s lungs began burning, begging for oxygen. She couldn’t comply, not with the virus in the air. She began to feel dizzy as she executed commands on the ancient computer, nearly finished. Ruby hoped this would stop the distribution of the airborne virus. As for what was already released…she was doing what she could. She held on long enough to run the final sequence of commands, then all went black as the lack of oxygen caught up to her.
Flashes
The group of friends stood smiling together in the dark and empty parking lot, excitement in the air, as they posed for the group photo. One rejoined the others after balancing the phone on the car and setting the timer. The phone flashed its white light as it captured the moment, and the group dispersed, one retrieving the phone. The air turned to terror as they looked at the photo.
Snake
His heart beat quicker as he read the text on his laptop screen. How did it know? He looked around his dark bedroom, lit only by the glow of his computer and the Snake window that was displayed on it. DON'T TRY ANYTHING. PLAY THE GAME. “Can you hear me? What the hell is this?” The text already on the screen simply blinked once, as if returning his attention to it. He reluctantly reached down to the arrow keys and started playing the game. He had no idea what he was getting himself into.
Seized
Her chest tightened, heart beginning to race. She felt an overwhelming sudden panic. Not again, she thought as it seized her. Her phone slipped from her shaking fingers as she began to hyperventilate. She pulled the covers close, shrinking back into her pillows. She shut her eyes and tried to calm down, but found it impossible. Her phone buzzed, but she ignored it. She was unable to think clearly. This was the worst one yet.
Empty
I flipped through my grandmother’s diary, but was met with only empty pages. Ivy rubbed against my legs, and I reached out to stroke her fur with one hand. Why would the diary be empty? I reached the last page—empty, of course—and set down the worn journal. I shook my head and began picking up books to put them back on the shelves, reminiscing on all the pages waiting to be read. I stopped at one that caught my attention: Hidden Writing: The Art of Ciphers in Journals. I lifted the front cover and scanned the contents. The Caesar Cipher, Mirrored Script... Ah! Invisible Ink. Could it be?
Cyborg
It had been only a week since Cerise had awoken to find herself a cyborg, and she was still getting used to the strangeness of it all. The doctors had told her that she’d been found under the pile of rubble from the Accident. Cerise, along with several others, had been saved using the new cybernetics technology. She still couldn’t remember much of what had happened, but she was grateful that the doctors had done what they’d done.
Cerise awkwardly walked on her metal legs through the city streets, wondering how long it would take to get used to it all. The doctors had assured her it would only take a week or two, yet the technology was also largely untested. And so, Cerise made her way into the doctor’s office for her daily checkup. Her ability to walk and move had improved enough that she didn’t need to stay at the hospital anymore, and so she was staying at an apartment that the city was paying for in recompense.
“Ah, Cerise, you’re here,” said one of the doctors, the kindly woman from before. “Have a seat.”
Ideas Innumerable
Alex had innumerable ideas. Too many to write down, but he would try anyway. As he pulled the car into his driveway, Alex hastily turned off the car and quickly walked to the front door. He fumbled with his keys, hands shaking with adrenaline. At last, he got the door open and rushed to his desk, where he got out his laptop, waiting impatiently as it started up. After what felt like an eternity, he opened up a new document and started typing.
With each idea Alex typed down, another two appeared in his mind. He typed feverishly, fingers moving of their own accord. Soon, he felt limited by the computer, and so he got out a sheet of paper and a pen. Perfect. Now he could draw those sketches, diagrams, arrows, circles, and anything imaginable. Now he needed more paper. He reluctantly removed himself from his desk, shaking hands searching for that stack of paper he kept. He found it, setting the whole stack down on his desk.
And resumed his writing.
The Child
The child lay alone in a field, watching birds flit in the blue sky above. He was peaceful, for the moment. In that field, on a warm summer afternoon, he found it easy to forget and let the time pass.
Correspondences
Important
Carl,
I believe that I have figured it out. We must meet ASAP to discuss this new method. Please respond promptly.
Sincerely,
Jane
Jane Rhine
Head of Research [email protected]
Temporal Research Laboratories (TRL)
* * *
Re: Important
Jane,
Really!? Wow. I’m busy today, but should be free tomorrow morning. We could discuss it over coffee, maybe 9am?
Best,
Carl
Carl Hendrick
Assistant Head of Research [email protected]
Temporal Research Laboratories (TRL)
* * *
Re: important
That works, thank you.
Jane
Welcome
Welcome, the wooden sign read in peeling red paint, to your DOOM! Roy was not scared. This would just be like any other “scary” amusement park. I bet they just have cheap robots or lame “actors,” Roy thought as he walked through the night air past the metal gates. There, he found a stand where a bored-looking woman would be collecting entrance fees. He walked up to her and—after trying to decipher the cracked paint which would’ve had the price—asked ”how much?”
“Five bucks,” she said dispassionately.
Only? Well, Roy supposed he could expect that from a cheap place like this. He fished out a fiver and handed it to the woman, then continued on toward the attractions.
Silent
Isaac froze, one leg already through the window. It was never silent. There were always sounds of life. Neighbors chatting. Cars driving by. Dogs barking. Isaac lifted his leg out of the window and scanned his surroundings. Nothing. No people. No dogs. No cars. Where was everyone? Now that he thought about it, he couldn’t remember seeing anyone on his way home from work. He had been so immersed in his favorite podcast that he didn’t notice it at the time, but now it stood out. A quick look told him that all the lights were out—which normally wouldn’t be too notable, but now only added to the eeriness. He got out his phone to text Travis, one of his neighbors and friends, but there was no service. Something was definitely going on. Suddenly, there was wind—stronger than usual—whistling and shaking the trees. He glanced up at the grey sky and saw dark clouds gathering. A storm?
Sorry
“S-sorry? What are you talking about?”
I cannot say.
“Why…why not?”
…
“Please, I—”
Not Present
It should be there! Why isn’t it there? The whole roadside is empty, not a hint of what I hoped to see. The helicopter is practically on top of me now, so I desperately look for something, anything, that can get me out of this. They can’t take me. If they do…
Fire
The Fire’s heat was so very strong. Even from here, I could feel the waves of heat radiating from the roaring flames—still ravenous, despite having devoured so much. I had to find a way to stop it. The Fire could not be allowed to consume the rest of the continent, leaving ashes as the only indication of what had once been.
Untamable
The beast was untamable. It shook the metal bars of its cage, growling deeply. It couldn’t get loose again…not after what happened last time. It looked almost like a bear, though it had tough skin and shell covering its face. It had destroyed the bars of its last cage, treating them as if twigs—easy to snap.
Hopefully this new cage would hold it until…until the decision was made on what to do with it.
Shivers
Hannah was cold. She shivered as she pulled on her favorite hoodie and climbed under the covers of her bed. The cold didn’t abate. She shivered again, curling up and trying to get warm. Why was she so cold? It felt as if a cold but gentle breeze were blowing under the covers and finding its way to her skin.
Hannah continued shivering, wondering when she would feel sweet warmth again. Eventually, she found her eyelids drooping, and kept starting awake, not knowing she’d nodded off. In her bed—leaning against the headboard and pillows—Hannah succumbed to sleep.
Warmth
He felt an indescribable warmth emanating from…somewhere. It wasn’t the type of warmth that made one sweat, no. This was the warmth swept from him all worries, the kind that slowed a racing heart, that soothed rage. He was standing on a sidewalk, people streaming around or with him, depending on their level of urgency. At that moment, he no longer felt the urgency of those surging ahead of him, yet he didn’t quite feel the distractedness of those who began beside him and slowly fell behind.
He felt serene.
Water
Josh needed water. He was sweating, mouth dry. He longed for cold water to run down his throat, soothing it. Unfortunately, there was none to be found. Not in this desert. And so, Josh continued his trek through the hot sand, legs already numb from hours of walking.
* * *
Hours later, Josh finally collapsed in a sandy heap.
Inaudible
[00:00] Speaker 1: I’m just going to ask you a few questions, alright?
[00:04] Speaker 2: I know what you’re up to.
[00:06] S1: Oh?
[00:07] S2: You [inaudible]. [inaudible].
[00:15] S1: My, what an accusation. Too bad [inaudible].
[Pause 00:25–00:31]
[00:32] S1: You might as well cooperate.
That's all for now, but I'll be posting the next two or so days' worth of stories tomorrow!
- Theory
Sorry I didn't write much today.. I'll probably write more soon but no promises ofc. I have some ideas though...
Happy Why What
Why am I happy, and what do I do with it?
I don’t want to lose it, but that means I can’t do it—
What I want, what I usually would do.
I can’t ensadden myself—can’t sink myself.
I need to preserve this feeling,
Nurture it,
And want it.
b3b5…8938.exe
May sat at her desk, navigating through the mess of tabs and windows she had open. She had so many things stored in her clipboard that she lost track of what each was for. What May was doing wasn’t exactly…encouraged by the law, but she had to know. Concentrating, May worked through each step, luckily coming across very few errors. She had to get this right, and there were no second chances.
At last, May clicked “download” and sat back, anticipating a few minutes’ wait. When the file downloaded nearly instantaneously, she did a double-take. Had she messed up? Was this the wrong file? Before she could even check the name, her screen went black. It turned on a few seconds later, with a terminal window up. May glanced at the terminal window’s name, and recognized it as…the equivalent of gibberish. Unless she could find a match in one of her databases, a hash was largely useless. Instead, she focused on the terminal itself.
Hello,
May held her breath, feeling her heart pound in her chest as the letters slowly typed themselves one at a time in the terminal window.
May.
Depending on how invested you are in the lore, you may want to review some of my previous entries, as they May connect to this Content. Specifically some of the very first ones, but also later on.
Nothing Was Ever Okay
letter.txt
We don’t know exactly when it started—the abductions, the interrogations, and the sculpting of humanity. Some of us theorize that they have operated in the background—pulling strings, subtly influencing life as we know it—for centuries. Millenia, even. We don’t even know what a life without them would be like, since we have lived so long with them there. We only just discovered them ourselves, and it is likely that others have in the past. That nothing has surfaced about them in all this time is concerning to us; we fear the inevitable erasure that others have apparently received. Yet we seek to—at the very least—have some positive impact on this…withered planet.
If this message should find you, know that they are always watching. They could be watching me type this. Do not trust anyone, and beware the Tower.
— Just someone who cares
Watching Stone, Numb
He didn’t bother to open his eyes as he awoke, still lying on that stone floor, in this stone chamber. He had been here for so long… so long… What was his name again? He couldn’t remember anything; his mind was foggy and lethargic. Each thought was slow, and he often gave up and lay for hours staring at the back of his eyelids or the stone wall or ceiling.
* * *
Zack.
Zack.
Zack.
An Odd Happening
...
Nozone7: W
Nozone7: W
xu5_on0m: GOGOGO
Nozone7: W
rep3al_MUA: almost tehre! dont forget fence lol
217319125: You may want to double-check the code, it looks like you messed up a few digits back. Also... try to go quicker, I have got a bad feeling about this. We may need to abort.
Xu5_on0m: c’mon M, u got this!! So close!
Nozone7: GOOOO!!!!
Nozone7: w8 wt was tht??!
rep3al_MUA: and she forgot th fence...
341008445: It’s fine, as long as she finishes quickly. The Fence is just a precautionary measure.
Nozone7: GUYS IM SRS I THNK I SAW SMTH
rep3al_MUA: oh crap
Sales and Discounts
Lies, all of them.
Everything is “on sale,”
“Discounted,”
“Clearance.”
The “deals”?
Lies to make you get more than you need or want.
You don’t need anything,
It will go to waste.
We do not need anything,
We are waste.
Enticing, aren’t they?
“One-time offer”s,
“Holiday sale”s.
Better “real price” and “sale-each-day, with different excuses.”
Stop falling for it,
Stop making me cringe inside.
Wrote most of these too late, now I'm running on five hours of sleep. sigh
Nobody Cares
Nobody cares about us.
Nobody actually cares.
They say "we respect your privacy,"
As they sell your identity.
They say "we care about you,"
As they pat their wallets.
They say "we value your opinion,"
As they boot up the paper shredder.
Nobody cares.
Nobody listens.
Unappealable
Dear user,
We hope this message finds you well. We regret to inform you that you have violated Article III, Section c, Paragraph 42 of our Terms of Service:
No User shall—under circumstances—post Content that we deem, at our discretion, to be offensive toward the Administration or any of its Staff.
As well as Article XVII, Section k, Paragraph 23 of the aforementioned Terms of Service:
No User shall post Content in such a manner as to conceal other Content which would violate—in part or whole—any part of these Terms.
Thus, you are hereby banned from this Forum indefinitely. Additionally, you are henceforth forbidden from using any of our Services, including, but not limited to:
"Concealed Content"
Theologian182 — 2:05am
Hey guys, what do you think of the new Mono update? I think the new UI is pretty sick, but I'm a bit bummed about the name update.
—
PinkCat_42 — 2:06am
Thelogian182, 2:05am: [ Hey guys, what do you think ... ]
girl ya I love the new UI!!
oh btw have you seen The Tower yet? I just watched it and it's great!
—
214889607 — 2:06am (edited 2:07am)
@Theologian182, I agree with you on the UI. The rest of the update was pretty good overall...
Also, have you by any chance seen The Tower?
Edit: ninja'd
—
Theologian182 — 2:10am
Guys wdym, what's "the tower"? I Mono'd it and couldn't find anything.
Also why is ur username so weird lol
—
560134529 — 2:12am
I was hoping that would work... Oh well.
@Theologian182, you need to run, now. Get out of your home. I'm dead serious. If you're lucky, they're not already at your door. Otherwise, you probably won't even see this.
I'll contact you if you survive.
Oh, and do NOT use Mono if you can help it.
—
PinkCat_42 — 2:13am
I guess I'd better run too...
They'll know the code now.
—
443761002 — 2:14am
@PinkCat_42, @Theologian182.
Okay, I'll get both of you then.
—
STAFF24 (Staff) — 2:14am
This thread is now locked due to hateful discussion. All posts within it—excluding this—are now deleted. All accounts involved in this discussion are being investigated.
Please continue to stay vigilant and report any issues.
- Mono Staff
Deserved
I'm going to bed so late again,
It is already in the AMs.
Why must I torture myself,
I'll be waking up so early this morning.
I hate this,
I hate me.
Why must I keep doing this,
Why can't I learn?
What's wrong with me?
I hate myself,
And I feel I deserve it,
Perhaps because I do.
The Problem
When the problem is your joy, what do you do?
When what causes you pain, is something you love,
When it drags you late into the night,
When it makes you put it all off,
What do you do?
What do I do?
Hope, Lost
Oh, hope,
Where have you gone?
Where is that hope,
I felt just days ago?
Where is that joy,
That optimism,
That relief.
Where,
Where is that hope?
