Usseewa

To be honest I've been gone so long, on so infrequently, not checking notifications because there are simply too many, that I no longer feel as part of this community as I once did, and it's kinda sad to me. Part of it's FOMO, I guess, in that I missed so much and am not caught up on everything that happened in the past weeks, or even maybe the past month or two. The Last Post Loses has grown so much, it seems. 3.5k replies in its two-month life. It has lore, it seems. New laws I probably missed. So many discussions, probably. People probably talked so much - about life and everything - and I wasn't there to listen or share. I missed the creation of that counting thread that everyone's on - that I was on for a bit. Who knows what else I missed? I have weeks of backlog for MFD, and so much has happened in the past few weeks. I've started journaling, too. Started art, got some philosophy books because that's an interest. Life feels so different. I binged a few animes, watched random movies. I somehow made some art I'm proud of, and now I can make conversation, apparently? Well, this turned into a long post. But can I truly return to the life I once had? I missed listening to music so much, but have not allowed myself to return - save this moment, listening to calming Lo-Fi to ease my once-racing mind. Why have I denied that which I longed for? Why does it feel wrong to hold my phone? Life without it is/was freeing and restricting- but, overall, simply different. But I've felt disconnected from this community for months, I think. I never truly returned. What am I to do?