Robinski

Really, don't worry about it. Mandamon was submitting since October '14 (not a dig, Man), and I took about 15 weeks to submit Maths Bridge - don't sweat it

12 General Brandon Discussion 0 Events and Signings 15 Cosmere Theories 14 Mistborn 14 The Reckoners 14 The Rithmatist 15 Writing Excuses 6 General Discussion 12 Role Playing 20 Reading Excuses 20 Mistborn: The Inquisition 20 Sanderson Elimination 20 Stormlight Archive 0 Introduce yourself! 0 Tech Support 0 The Coppermind Wiki 0 Interview Database 0 Cosmere Short Stories 0 Other Stories 0 The Wheel of Time 0 TWG Archive 0 AMAs 0 Tech Discussion 0 Reckoners RPG 0 Social Groups, Clans, and Guilds 0 Entertainment Discussion 0 Elantris and Emperor's Soul 0 Alcatraz 0 Warbreaker 0 17th Shard Discussion 0 Creator's Corner

13 General Brandon Discussion 8 Events and Signings 13 Cosmere Theories 12 Mistborn 13 The Reckoners 15 The Rithmatist 13 Writing Excuses 11 General Discussion 1 Creator's Corner 13 Role Playing 20 Reading Excuses 20 Mistborn: The Inquisition 20 Sanderson Elimination 20 Stormlight Archive 0 Introduce yourself! 0 Tech Support 0 The Coppermind Wiki 0 Interview Database 0 Cosmere Short Stories 0 Other Stories 0 The Wheel of Time 0 TWG Archive 0 AMAs 0 Tech Discussion 0 Reckoners RPG 0 Social Groups, Clans, and Guilds 0 Entertainment Discussion 0 Elantris and Emperor's Soul 0 Alcatraz 0 Warbreaker 0 17th Shard Discussion

Don't start me on work ethic, I've got 8 people in my section. Not aware that any are writers mind you. I'm a great fan of reading out loud for editing. Recording it is something I've never considered, but it sounds like an interesting technique, forcing you to listen to the whole thing rather than reading a couple of lines then stopping to fix something. Hmm, I will try this for a chapter, I think. Nice one!

This is very interesting. There's definitely a pack hunting mentality at work, I think. Cut off the weakest of the herd and finish it off, but what will happen next? Hmm.... 13 General Brandon Discussion 12 Events and Signings 13 Cosmere Theories 12 Mistborn 12 The Reckoners 13 The Rithmatist 13 Writing Excuses 11 General Discussion 5 Creator's Corner 13 Role Playing 20 Reading Excuses 20 Mistborn: The Inquisition 20 Sanderson Elimination 20 Stormlight Archive 0 Introduce yourself! 0 Tech Support 0 The Coppermind Wiki 0 Interview Database 0 Cosmere Short Stories 0 Other Stories 0 The Wheel of Time 0 TWG Archive 0 AMAs 0 Tech Discussion 0 Reckoners RPG 0 Social Groups, Clans, and Guilds 0 Entertainment Discussion 0 Elantris and Emperor's Soul 0 Alcatraz 0 Warbreaker 0 17th Shard Discussion

That would drive me completely mental! Listening to what I wrote and not being able to edit it for hours!! I'm in the re-reading camp like you (and Dan), but I can only go back a page or I'll get bogged down in line editing. Welcome to Reading Excuses, Kashimir, looking forward to reading your stuff.

9 17th Shard Discussion 13 General Brandon Discussion 12 Events and Signings 13 Cosmere Theories 12 Mistborn 0 Warbreaker 11 The Reckoners 14 The Rithmatist 10 Writing Excuses 11 General Discussion 8 Creator's Corner 11 Role Playing 20 Reading Excuses 20 Mistborn: The Inquisition 20 Sanderson Elimination 20 Stormlight Archive 0 Introduce yourself! 0 Tech Support 0 The Coppermind Wiki 0 Interview Database 0 Cosmere Short Stories 0 Other Stories 0 The Wheel of Time 0 TWG Archive 0 AMAs 0 Tech Discussion 0 Reckoners RPG 0 Social Groups, Clans, and Guilds 0 Entertainment Discussion 0 Elantris and Emperor's Soul 0 Alcatraz

Hey Wayne, not quite sure what you edited in your post, but I presume that the scores don't apply, as they are from way back. Also, Joe, rules are clear on waiting until two people have gone before you take another turn, unless I've missed something. Sorry to be a stickler but... Ergo, I have scored from Mail-Mai's last vote. 9 17th Shard Discussion 13 General Brandon Discussion 12 Events and Signings 12 Cosmere Theories 11 Mistborn 3 Warbreaker 11 The Reckoners 13 The Rithmatist 2 Alcatraz 10 Writing Excuses 11 General Discussion 11 Creator's Corner 11 Role Playing 20 Reading Excuses 20 Mistborn: The Inquisition 20 Sanderson Elimination 20 Stormlight Archive

9 17th Shard Discussion 13 General Brandon Discussion 12 Events and Signings 12 Cosmere Theories 14 Mistborn 3 Warbreaker 11 The Reckoners 13 The Rithmatist 4 Alcatraz 10 Writing Excuses 19 Reading Excuses 11 General Discussion 11 Creator's Corner 11 Role Playing 20 Mistborn: The Inquisition 20 Sanderson Elimination 20 Stormlight Archive 0 Introduce yourself! 0 Tech Support 0 The Coppermind Wiki 0 Interview Database 0 Cosmere Short Stories 0 Other Stories 0 The Wheel of Time 0 TWG Archive 0 AMAs 0 Tech Discussion 0 Reckoners RPG 0 Social Groups, Clans, and Guilds 0 Entertainment Discussion 0 Elantris and Emperor's Soul

Huzzah! We've held off that sneak attack, but be vigilant, the evil forces of forumdom could strike again at any time!

9 17th Shard Discussion 13 General Brandon Discussion 12 Events and Signings 12 Cosmere Theories 14 Mistborn 1 Elantris and Emperor's Soul 7 Warbreaker 11 The Reckoners 13 The Rithmatist 9 Alcatraz 10 Writing Excuses 14 Reading Excuses 11 General Discussion 11 Creator's Corner 11 Role Playing 20 Mistborn: The Inquisition 20 Sanderson Elimination 20 Stormlight Archive 0 Introduce yourself! 0 Tech Support 0 The Coppermind Wiki 0 Interview Database 0 Cosmere Short Stories 0 Other Stories 0 The Wheel of Time 0 TWG Archive 0 AMAs 0 Tech Discussion 0 Reckoners RPG 0 Social Groups, Clans, and Guilds 0 Entertainment Discussion

Whoa there - someone take a look back - there're must have been a couple of posts close together, the scores seem to have got out of whack. Ref, adjudication please! After Kammererite's scores Reading Excuses has been marked down without being 'hurt'.

Guys, guys - there's a hurt and heal going on over at General Brandon Discussion and Reading Excuses is under attack!!! Defend your writing group - heal up RE and strike at our foes!!!

9 17th Shard Discussion 13 General Brandon Discussion 14 Events and Signings 12 Cosmere Theories 16 Mistborn 8 Elantris and Emperor's Soul 9 Warbreaker 10 The Reckoners 13 The Rithmatist 10 Alcatraz 10 Writing Excuses 9 Reading Excuses 11 General Discussion 4 Entertainment Discussion 10 Creator's Corner 10 Role Playing -- 20 Mistborn: The Inquisition 20 Sanderson Elimination 20 Stormlight Archive ------------------------ 0 Introduce yourself! 0 Tech Support 0 The Coppermind Wiki 0 Interview Database 0 Cosmere Short Stories 0 Other Stories 0 The Wheel of Time 0 TWG Archive 0 AMAs 0 Tech Discussion 0 Reckoners RPG 0 Social Groups, Clans, and Guilds

The Reading Excuses writing group (find us in Associated Works) continues to attract new writers. We have several new contributors in the last couple of weeks. Mandamon's submission of his novel Fruit of the Gods has concluded, 23 chapters since he began submitting in October 2014(!!), and my own project The Mathematical Bridge has also just finished submission with the epilogue last week concluding 62,000 words. Meanwhile, RD Pulfer's Scholomancer has reached Chapter 3 (no too late to catch up, you critters) and we have material from new submitter Kammererite. Tune in to Reading Excuses (okay, it's a forum, but you know what I mean), join the lively banter and constructive feedback. Submit your work today! (okay, Monday - and don't forget to ask moderator Silk).

<splutter> ...a book club?! For sure - I'm not fast, but I'm dedicated. Even if you want to PM me and I'll send you my email. We critique up to 5 submissions of up to 5,000 words each week, so it's all shorts and chapters. Personally, I would enjoy having the long form to critique. We do handle novels. I've just finished submitting 62,000 words over ~15 weeks and Mandamon recently completed submitting 23 chapters starting in October last year. It's possible but personally I'd rather have the whole thing sitting in front of me. As you like. Ready and willing.

You've got a life, that's definitely allowed! We will welcome you back whenever you can manage

There's an interesting chat by Brandon in WE Season 8, Ep. 30-something about subsidiary characters increasing in prominence where he talks about Spook being upgraded.

I think there is quite a bit of 'ripping' about this yarn. I've had time to mull over my first impression and maybe it just falls under the same comment as the rest of the submission, that it a good thorough edit could sharpen up the whole thing, the magic scene included. I don't think there's any harm in writing quickly to get something down and keep momentum of the ideas flowing, but it will need that good edit. I'm sure there's no right way to write - we've all got our styles and methods. I asked about word count from the viewpoint of plain old writing practise. Someone said (can never remember who) that you need to write a million words before you know what you're doing. That's going to vary of course, I guess it's just an opinion, but I can see that practice makes perfect.

I am that brave and gullible soul. (I can make this rash statement because the time difference would make it impractical.) @Dave - I've had that very thought before myself so obviously it's an excellent idea. I know they've done something like this before with their own early projects (short, I'm sure), but I really think it would work. I'm at Season 8, Ep. 32 in my catch-up and they are at the WE Retreat, so there are lots of 'newbies' around who would fit the bill, presumably. (p.s. Sorry it took me 15 months to notice your post). @Chuck - Yes, there are a couple, I'm coming up to one in Season 8 (Ep.46).

Hey Chuck, Did you know there's a vibrant and thriving reading group on this very forum which has 'critters' of various ages and levels of experience, some of whom would no doubt be very pleased to read your work? Head over to Reading Excuses and see what you think of the level of comment. I for one would be pleased to read your novel. There's an Alpha Readers thread on Reading Excuses (don't be put off by the 'alpha' bit) which directs you to a Dropbox account, if you're that way inclined.

I think RDP has snagged something there in talking about rushing. I does read as if you have blasted through it and really not checked back at all. If you are aiming to submit this anywhere, ultimately, you're going to have really get on top of the grammar stuff, because editors are going to run out of patience pretty quickly, I would imagine. Reading out loud would probably help, I find it an excellent tool for refining dialogue, listening to what your characters are saying and whether it sounds like the way people in your world would speak. Good for grammar too. The important thing about editing is that it's not a fast process, you can't rush it, you have to take your time and get it right. I'd be interested to know how many words you have written in your writing career. Your craft should improve as you go on, provided that you work at it, and you can conquer grammar, but I would say it takes effort and concentration. Brandon talks about how he doesn't like editing and finds it hard compared to writing, but he does it. He's a professional (obviously) and must spend those hard hours getting his book into the best shape possible. As writers aspiring to be published, we need to learn to do the same thing - that's my 5c. Again though, I enjoyed your submission, I think there's some good potential there, but some work to do on editing!!

I enjoyed this. I felt I got a good sense of the main two characters and their goals naturally, without unnecessary exposition. I thought the description of the gruesome scenes of death were effective. As a read on, there was a lot of information in the chapter. I know establishing chapters are difficult and there is a temptation to put everything in, but I think holding back can be more effective in the long run. The real problem I had was all the typos, which made it difficult to read. I know that these are easy things to fix. Please excuse my directness, but is English your second language by any chance? I see some chat on this above. I like the way you have written the inquisitor, his calm, well-spoken voice is easy to distinguish from the other characters, so you can drop a lot of dialogue tags, which helps with the flow. I find the magic system bewildering. There are lots of references to essence of this and that and hos they work together. It all sounded like jargon to me. I must admit I switched off. I'm not big on magic system, and I couldn’t work out what was going on. It’s early in the story to be dropping all this stuff on the reader, I think. If you want them to understand the magic, I would have thought feeding in the details gradually would be more effective. This said, once we get past that initial tumble of jargon, there is good tension in his struggle with keeping the dams intact. I think with a lot of polishing of the writing and maybe holding back some of the detailed information you would have a really effective first chapter there. It has a good amount of action, tension and action, good character introductions and an introduction of the magic system (although I would consider cutting that down on its first use). -------------------------------------------------- Lorekeeper’s OR Lorekeepers’ – depending on how many lorekeepers there are, but definitely need an apostrophe. Straight away, I'm interested by the ‘otherness’ of the opening. I’ve never read a vial before, which I thought felt inventive, so I'm hoping for more of the same. “small” alley isn’t all that helpful as description – does this mean narrow or short? “Still want to be a hero” “This is an awful idea, we’re not knights, Bloody Sprits we’re not even soldiers. We’re geologists not heroes” – Excellent line, it lets me make a bunch of assumptions on little things about the characters without a lot of description. “grooves in the wall” - presumably There are a lot of typos, it’s pretty distracting on reading. “even small ones don’t die easy” – good line, tells me something about Neetut while increasing tension. Does frozen meat smell? “over a hundred bodies although no single one is identifiable” – truly disturbing, good description. Does the father vomit too? I didn’t see that until he was wiping his mouth. He comes across as very capable and, quietly, very brave – I feel from my first impression of the father that he would be able to hold it in. I like the way you convey the background information about these two and their goals. It’s in the context of the meeting they are heading to, so there’s no hint of info dump, I think. The father’s statement about being a hero seems out of character to me, I don’t sense that is really what he wants, he’s trying to achieve this thing for his son, isn’t he? This second talk about being hero seems repetitious and, I thought, unnecessary. “a grad affair” – Grad? Did you mean drab? “Statures Statues of the nine” wolf-like “delirious from bloodless blood loss” “My focuses returns” “Well Good sir Felsiit” – if Sir Felsiit is a title ‘Sir’ should be capitalised by convention, as it’s part of his name, but I thought you said he wasn’t a knight?

Interesting chapter, but a bit confusing. There’s a lot of information flying around, but it’s not really tied down clearly, seems rather loose, hints about this and that. The break in the narrative was strange. I'm not sure what effect you were aiming for, but I think the most important thing is to ensure that the reader doesn’t lose track of what's happening. Simple can be effective. Detailed comments below. I'm losing track of all the characters. Maybe it would be less of an issue if I was reading right through, but whereas the legendary monsters are easy to keep track of, the hunters are not that memorable as characters, so far. So the fact that there are quite a few of them is what is confusing me, I suspect. I'm not sure who the protagonist is either. Is it Renfield? He doesn’t get much focus. I think the lack of a clear protagonist is the other thing that disorienting me. Still, interested to read more. ------------------------------------------------------------ Great line about Stephanie being chained to the mattress, but I wasn’t sure why she jerked awake due to the lumpiness. It must have been lumpy all the while she’s been in it. That’s steam coming from the coffee, not smoke, unless it is some weird kind of coffee. “She had to resist from blushing” – grammar. You’re doing that name thing again. It starts to read like a script. When you’ve used the name once, you can go to ‘he’ and ‘she’ – it would sound much more natural. “doing a job where I don’t wake up handcuffed to a bed?” – lol, good line. “I can’t be distracted from by the future...” Whoa, I found the cut there really disorienting and I'm confused now. She’s still talking to Jason? So what was missed out? Why can’t the reader just hear what she says? I don’t know what it is she’s told him, so now I'm out of the story trying to remember stuff from before. Second-most kills doesn’t sound like a record to me. “her sister was had been some kind of prophet” – this was after the sister died, right? Hence the tense.

Lol - knock yourself out, there's no honeymoon period on here! (Maybe I should change my stern and forbidding profile pic)