MirkerLurker
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Yay!!! *celebration hug*
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Hey y'all, it's been quieter in here. That could be good or bad, so - Check in! How's everybody doing? Anything you want to talk about? Struggles? Good things? Random thoughts? (You don't need to go into details if you don't want, but put a peep in here or something, whether good or bad, let us know you're still around.) For myself, I started a new psych med about a month ago, and I've discovered it makes me sleepier. My jaw hurts from yawning so much haha. I think it has been helping with dark thoughts - had fewer lately, that's nice! - but I'm switching to taking it at nighttime instead of the morning so I stop falling asleep in the middle of the day. (And then not at night.) There ya go, there's my check in. Where's everyone else at? (And yes, I mean you. You specifically, reading this and thinking I won't notice if you don't comment, or don't actually want to hear how you're doing. Yes you.)
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*hugs* Manatee therapy. I love it.
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I missed the ball on this one, but I'm giving belated hugs anyway, because hugs are good things. *hug* Glad you're a bit better. *hug* IRL is different, yeah. I love this community, I think it's important that we're here, but there is something different about being physically with people who support you. I hope you find that. Also a bit late to this one (was away for a few days without internet.) I'm glad you found some comfort and stability! I think KnightSkye's advice is great, and he said most of what I would say, so yes to that. May I recommend the book of Psalms for when you need to yell? Plenty of demonstrations of healthy yelling at God there, plus also hope and restoration. The Psalms are all about human emotions and God. I want to add something, partly in response to what @Kaladin Stormcursed said about the purpose of religion. (Which btw, Stormcursed, what you said was fine, I'm debating, not offended) Saying one of the main purposes of religion is community is a viewpoint from sociology. Religion functions to create community in societies, yes, but that's not its purpose; that happens as an offshoot, a result, of what it actually is. (Stormcursed, if I'm correctly reading your post, you're not religious? So very understandable you're coming from that viewpoint) Religion is the pursuit of Truth. The purpose of religion is to discover Truth. Religion only matters if what we believe is actually true. Its purpose is not ultimately to make us feel better. We can find comfort in it sometimes, but that is not why it matters. It matters because it's true. And so it won't always be comforting, in the sense of making us feel better, of making our problems go away. But it can be reassuring to know "Yes, it will be hard; yes, it is broken; yes, it will be painful sometimes; but all of this has an order, a way things are supposed to be, and the more that order is followed, the more things are put into alignment, the better things will get. And yes sometimes it will hurt more for a time, because moving one part into alignment while another part is still broken hurts. But it moves towards good, it moves towards healing." Especially when we're at a point where we can't see how God is working, don't see evidence of Him hearing us. But - if you don't believe it's actually true, then that falls apart. So I'd also encourage you to do a bible study on "How do we know the bible is true?" if you can. That kind of study can be incredibly reassuring and really solidify your faith, give you a stable foundation to stand on when the world falls apart around you. *hug* Hugs are always available. *more hugs* And it's amazing how you feel pretty when at your most relaxed and comfortable rather than only when you've covered all your perceived flaws and primped and presented the "right" image, and it's amazing that you can identify when you feel content and that you have moments where you are, and it's amazing how you can feel free and comfortable while wearing a mask (which btw is a part of you, even if it's not your "true" self, the mask you choose is a part of you, a part of you that's chosen and sculpted by you, and is actually a reflection of some of who you are; it's not all of you, but it is part of you), and it's amazing that you can keep going and hold it off until it's late and you can safely collapse, and it's amazing that you know what it feels like to bear no ill will towards yourself and that you have times when you love being alive, and it's amazing that you can sleep for two hours and feel energetic. And none of that makes it "better", none of that fixes everything, none of that fills the hollow in the smile or makes happy things healthy; none of that will make the bad things feel ok, but don't add more self-guilt and self-condemnation where you don't need to. It's ok to be ok where you are. Where you are is amazing. It probably feels worthless; you see all the ways in which it's broken; but it's also amazing. I think we all underestimate ourselves; the amount to which we can feel joy despite also feeling broken, feel content despite feeling empty, laugh while broken. We can feel contradictions. We can feel ourselves wasting away, while feeling strong and making progress. We can live contradictions and keep going. We are incredibly strong. Hollow, broken strength. Contradictions. ...It's late and rambling I'm not making sense anymore ok goodnight y'all.
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*extra hug*
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*Hug* Want to talk about it? Or just be hugged for a bit?
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Right?! So real. How are yours at the moment? Want a hug?
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What about listening to music? I used to go to sleep with my earbuds in and a playlist on repeat. What kind of music is up to you - I needed something to distract my brain, so I was listening to hard rock. No quiet instrumental stuff. It's not tho. I mean, I read it, it was fun, I enjoyed it, but it's not great. On the one hand, this sounds like you're struggling, so *hug* On the other hand, that's also beautiful and I like it. Is that lyrics, or your writing? Yes, that one's good! Also, behold! A meme! And speaking of Harry Potter, the artist that did this one also has a comic called My Life As A Background Slytherin, which is hilarious.
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I used to go down into the basement for screaming. I also practiced "screaming" without voice, so it strains the vocal chords but doesn't actually make the noise, because a lot of the time my sensory overload would get worse if I actually made a loud noise though.
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*BIG HUG* I'm sorry. That's hard. I will offer one piece of un-asked-for advice. Take it or leave it - if it's not helpful, ignore it for sure. What I really want to do is just give you a hug and sit with you for a while, but being online makes that hard. So. My advice would be - it's ok to not find a bright side to the divorce. It's ok to not see a bright side. That part's bad. It's a breaking. Yep. It's gonna hurt, a ton. You don't need to try to make it good or justified somehow. It's ok to let it just be bad. But to try to fight the depression, remember to take notice of unrelated things - "bright" sides to other things; school things, friend things, random sunshine things. Make a point of noticing that good things still happen in other places; that the hurt and change doesn't destroy everything, because it will certainly feel like it does. Focus when you can on small bright things that you can do, or that your friends can do. Things unrelated to that, so that when everything feels awful and broken, you can look to something else for comfort. And we're always here - with lots and lots of hugs. oh hmm. I dunno about advice for resting. Getting the spiraling brain to stop is hard.
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This is adorable, thank you! Awesome! So glad it went well. Also glad that she wants to do diagnostic stuff to check where symptoms are coming from, that's a good idea. Uh, no, falcons are faster than hawks. Bad idea. Their wing shapes are such that falcons are faster while hawks are more maneuverable. You need to challenge Thee to an air obstacle course or something like that. ...Or I suppose that works too. Uhhh @Thee insane, you ok? *hugs* Want to talk?
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Isn't that just beer tho? NOT THE TEA!! *grabs boxes of tea and scrambles to protect them* ACTshually, American is just British but better. *nods proudly* YES THANK YOU. Book five was awful. So annoying to read. That's quite the neat mix. I'll have you all know that I am descended from Macedonian nobility, thank you very much. My great-great-grandfather Demetrius Elias Constanstinstinzcius Vishanoff was the second son of the ruler of Solun, one of the twenty provinces of Macedonia. And Macedonia, as you all of course know, is the homeland of Alexander the Great. *poses importantly* (My favorite part about this guy is that he got kicked out of his family and immigrated to America because he started attending meetings with foreign missionaries - and why did he do that? Because his parents told him that the foreign missionaries hung frogs from the ceiling and used the blood in their services and if a stranger came to service he would have to drink the frog's blood and believe their teachings or it would poison him. So Demetrius did what any preteen boy would do and promptly snuck into the foreigner's services to see. Like...why would you think telling a kid that would make them stay away?? lol. Alas, the foreigners did not, in fact, hang frogs and drink blood, but then he just started hanging out with the people and became friends with them.) ...I'm mostly British descent though. Some West Indies, some blood from the british Knight family, some Welsh in there. 1/16th Algonquian native american too. I'm a mutt through and through! Lack of sleep + sugar = absolute hilarity. Meh, rum is better. Given the title of this group though, I do feel the need to note - regardless of which tastes better, none of them are good for mental health. I have a strict rule for myself that drinking is only for times of celebration. Only when already happy and doing well, and only on occasion, because treating it like a medication that will fix me is a dangerous road and I refuse to even look at it. Besides, there ain't enough alcohol in the state to fix my brain, I'm WAY too insane for that. (/jk)
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Lord of the Rings Guild
MirkerLurker replied to King Aragorn of Gondor's topic in Social Groups, Clans, & Guilds
The deathiversary is also important for the need to wait until the copyright passes and the work becomes public domain and thus the kickstarter can be launched without having to obtain permission from the Tolkien estate. Unfortunately, that won't happen until 70 years after his death, aka 2043. -
Hey that's my first guess too! I got it in two today.
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Can confirm. It's hilarious. I do it too on occasion. Have fond memories of coming off an amusement park ride so high on adrenaline that I was stumbling side to side while trying to walk straight and giggling uncontrollably. Also sometimes get that way late at night after a long day lol.
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Lots and lots of reading books and playing in the woods behind our house. We did have a TV, but rarely used it - the only show I watched regularly growing up was, er, um, Megaman NT Warrior. (Look, in my defense, I started watching in the middle of the series, and in the third episode I watched one of the main characters 'died', and it felt dramatic and impressive. I still have fond memories of the show, though I like the manga books better) Yes! We got a TV partway through my childhood, but screentime was extremely limited. It was very exciting to get sick, because then I was allowed to watch Disney movies. I have, in fact, seen Star Wars. I got shown them during high school, when my friends found out I'd never seen them and were aghast lol. Yes to both of you! I'm so sad I missed this, it's a great debate. Star Wars is a fantastic example of stage combat and its differences from real combat. I actually train in both stage combat and real combat, and there's a ton of difference between them. Stage combat is, at its core, meant to look cool. To draw the viewer in, to make it easy to see who has the upper hand in the combat, to make it exciting. Real combat, as I'm sure Stormcursed would agree, isn't about looking cool, it's about winning - and often doesn't look good from a visual standpoint as a result. Fights are over fast, or they're a jumbled mess of struggling, or they're won with small efficient movements that are hard to see. That idea of blink the blade on and off to get past the guard? Incredibly hard to see clearly on-screen - a large number of the audience wouldn't know what just happened. A confused audience is a disappointed audience, and a disappointed audience doesn't pay well haha. *hug* sorry to hear you're sick. Here, some toast for you, nothing experimental about it at all! ...Also some gollum juice, to help you get better faster! *hands over plate of toast and mug with liquid that glistens gold and pours suspiciously slowly* It's, er, it's like a healing potion! My sympathy. Deeeefinitely know that feel. You got some good advice from everybody already, I'll throw just one thing in here. Don't undervalue making eggs - you did something, you were productive! When I don't wanna work on the things I need to get done, I make a list of all the things I need to do, and then I start adding more things to it. (Hang with me, I know that sounds dumb.) I keep adding different 'tasks' (which can include "work on art" or "work on that sewing project I started for fun a while back") until I find one that I go "hmm, yeah, I could do that one" and then I do that one, so that I have something I can say I accomplished. So "make eggs" is a task I can do! Yeah, it's not the highest priority thing I needed to get done, but I can go "Yeah, I did something!" and take that feeling of accomplishment and use some of that energy to start the next thing - again, off that extra-big list. And ideally I work towards the more 'important' or priority things. (But taking a day to be productive on creative things is also important. I think your idea of spend some time working on art is a good one.) (This advice is somewhat ironic, as I usually hate lists and get overwhelmed by too many things - but I also find this helpful. My brain is a chaotic contradictory mess, it's lovely.) Ooh, do Szeth! ...Wait... HI! Welcome! *hug* Glad you're here. DEFINITELY BALD
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Don't know that one, unfortunately. We watch basically no TV, so I know almost nothing about tv shows. The most recent tv show I've watched is Dr Who, and I'm currently still only in Series 5. Super behind haha.
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I mean, I dunno that I'd count myself as "normal", so using me as a data point does not make it not weird lol. But yeah, it's a thing! I guess I've been an adult since childhood then! That's been my reaction for as long as I remember.
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I go kind of dissociated during medical procedures and view them with this odd kind of detached scientific curiousity. Like, the same kind of detached curiousity where I could calmly cut someone's finger off and take notes on their reaction; how fast they bled out and what symptoms occurred during the process and such. It's such a useful state, even if I can't control when it triggers. I can be the perfect little subject and do everything exactly as I'm supposed to (autism rule-following go YAY) and also view it as if it's happening to someone else and not fly into sensory rage or overload. So like, no it doesn't 'bother' me, but that's prolly cuz I'm actually a serial killer who goes into a dissociative state to murder everybody. Woo! ...and then after I've left and gone home and relaxed, the different feel of my mouth drives me NUTS and I can't stopping running my tongue over the textured spots and BLAH and I hate it, so I can at least sympathize there. I'm laughing so hard. Thank you for that.
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This is a good point - content where content belongs. It's just exciting to find other fans I shall contain myself *bows in apology* ...I do think that there's a number of mangas and anime that deal with mental health and they can be helpful for this thread, but that would be a different discussion. That may not be a good thing for you, gotta say.
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This is completely understandable.
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"What are you talking about, Mr. Vash the Stampede?" "I hate it when you call me by my full naaaaaaaame!"
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Precisely! You understand Yeah it's not everybody's thing, that's fine. But I will take glee in enjoying it!
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YES EXACTLY I recognized it immediately, but my usual response would be to start reciting "I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax..." Except I memorized that from the audio and can't spell the whole thing out for the life of me (and am too lazy to go look up the spelling), so I just echoed the "Love and Peace" reference back at you lol.
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...though I dunno actually. Selling people the ability to take actions with no consequences sounds like it could go horribly terribly wrong. Also like the plot to some sci-fi story. Or like some cute little feel-good story, depending entirely on how you wrote it!
