I totally understand that. It sucks a lot, especially with my medicine. Sure it cures my focus problems, but then it leaves me either devoid of emotion or so low that I want to stop existing. It also has a side affect as an appetite suppressant which makes me exhausted and malnourished (yet another thing for my dad to be angry about with me). But that just adds onto the fact that I have body dysmorphia and I tend to count calories (It mostly started when my dad started saying I was overweight and now I'm underweight because of all this crap, might even die because of malnourishment at this point). I don't mean to downplay anybody else here, but I've been going through a massive wave of depression that's been lasting for a few months now, and a large cause of it is emotional abuse from my dad. But I feel like a jerk when I judge him for treating me the way he does because he has mental disabilities that make him not able to cope with both his own emotionality but he's also not able to understand that other people also feel things (I've had several conversations with him, trying to let him know that I've been having depression and have had thoughts of ending my life but they always end with me going to my room and just crying myself to sleep).
Anyway, that's just a small part of why I've been down, but I don't really know what to say for everything else.
Soooo..... That's my rant. I didn't really know how to put it in coherent sentences but I guess this works.